Author's Note:

Hi, everyone! This is my first LOTF fanfiction, so I really had no idea what I was doing. All I know is that I'm a huge Jalph (Jack/Ralph) shipper, so I had to write something about them. Anyway, please be gentle in terms of reviews. This is my first time writing slash, too, so I just winged the whole thing. I hope it's okay...

This is dedicated to a friend of mine, Thursday-26. Her story, "All of Your Love," kind of inspired me to write some Jalph of my own. You should check her out if you haven't read her stuff. She's pretty awesome :)

And one thing to note about my writing style is that I tend to do a lot of dialogue. Not sure if that bothers anybody, but it's a warning. Oh, and Jack is a bit OOC in this story. He can get pretty emotional, so be prepared. The whole story is in his POV, by the way.

One more warning: I'm notorious with not updating, by the way. So, if you're actually interested in this story, I apologize if I don't have chapters up every week. I'll be lucky to have something every month. Please be patient, and I'll give you chapters.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Lord of the Flies. I wish I did, though. Who wouldn't want a real life Jack and Ralph? Haha. I also don't own "This Love," by The Veronicas.

Come and Find Me

Chapter 1: This Love

JACK'S POV

"Jack, where are you?" a quiet voice asked.

The familiar sound of shuffling filled my acute ears, and I held my breath. One sound from me and he would find my hiding place.

"Jack Merridew! I know you're somewhere in this house. Come out, come out, wherever you are!" he sing-songed.

Closing my eyes, I drew my breath out slowly, hoping that the sound wouldn't give my location away. Despite being in a closet with the door shut, I was still afraid he'd find me. I wedged myself even farther back into the space, between two large boxes. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them.

Suddenly, the door creaked open and he came in, breathing softly. Damn it. He was going to find me.

The figure started to shift things around in the room, and when he arrived at the boxes, he let out a grunt to budge them. When he finally managed to shove them aside, I could feel a stream of light hit my face. The warmth of a small hand on my cheek caused me to unravel from my crouched position.

"Found you," he murmured.

My eyes fluttered open, and a smile spread across my mouth.

"Hi," I said, standing up. I should have been slightly miffed that he discovered my hideout so quickly, but all I felt was relief.

"Hello," he answered back, his own lips curling into a grin.

"How do you do that?" I mused. "How can you find me that easily?"

He shrugged. "It's simple, Jack. I'll always find you. Whenever, wherever. I'll always find you and come back to you. It doesn't matter if we're two feet apart or two thousand miles apart. I'll find you, Jack Merridew."

My heart skipped a beat at his statement. His words weren't supposed to have an effect on me. We were thirteen-year-old boys for God's sake! I wasn't supposed to feel this way about my best friend. I was supposed to joke around with him, and do guy stuff like play video games and talk about girls. I wasn't supposed to have stupid butterflies and buried desires. But I couldn't help it. He had had this effect on me for a while now, and it turned me into useless pile of mush every time he was nearby.

"Okay," I said, nodding. "Okay. I'll hold you to that."

A minute of silence passed between us, gathering a bit of tension. Things had been changing lately, and more and more of these moments occurred. I wasn't sure what they meant. All I was aware of were my own frustrations, and how I couldn't act on them. Instead, I cleared my throat, blushing.

"It's my turn, Ralph. Although, I probably won't be that good at finding you," I laughed, gently nudging him.

"I don't know about that. I'm a good seeker, but I'm not the best hider. That's kind of your thing."

"How about we make a bet?" I suggested, waggling my eyebrows.

Ralph let out a small groan, running his hand through his blond hair. He flicked his bangs out of his big, sparkling blue eyes. "Uh, no. Last time we made a bet, I ended up with a huge stomachache from all the milkshakes you had me guzzle. I was sick for two days!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you lost! I'm Jack Merridew. You were silly to think that you could beat me in a two mile race. Please, I can run faster than you." I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. That was an unfair race, okay? You've done track before, so that gave you an advantage."

"Aw, poor Ralph," I said in a fake-sympathetic tone. "Anyway, are you in or not?"

"Depends. What do you want from me?"

My cheeks flushed an even deeper pink at the ideas floating around in my head. I tapped my chin, striking a 'thinking' pose.

"Hmm…how about the loser has to do whatever the winner wants for an entire week."

"Like I slave?" he questioned, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, like a slave. But there are conditions, of course. The slave should do whatever the master wants, but nothing to endanger his life. We wouldn't want that. And this only applies when the two of us are together. When we're at home, we can be ourselves again. School does count, though." I grinned. This was going to be too easy.

Ralph's lips quirked into a smirk, giving him a mischievous look. "You're on. Prepare to follow my orders, Mr. Merridew."

I scoffed. "As if. You'll be my slave, Ralph Harrison."

His eyes narrowed. "Start counting and we'll see."

As soon as he said that, my eyes fell closed. "One…two…three," I began.

Ralph's loud feet started to tear through the house as he searched for a hiding spot. He cursed a couple of times as tripped over things in his way. The boy was usually clumsy, but my messy house didn't help.

When I reached one-hundred, I opened my eyes. "Ralph Harrison, you're going to be mine," I whispered, dashing after him. As I rounded corners and looked underneath and behind objects, I desperately wished that fact would come true.

A half an hour later, I still couldn't find the weasel. "Dammit, Ralph! Where are you?" I shouted, so he could hear me.

I was met with silence. "Where is that boy?" I asked myself, re-checking all of the places I had already seen. Then, a sudden vibration shook my leg. My hand grabbed the phone from the pocket of my jeans, and I flipped it open.

The text read:

Give up yet? :P

Ralph. The scoundrel was teasing me! Frowning, I typed out:

Where the hell are you? I've been searching for 30 minutes!

A few seconds passed before a reply came back.

Not my fault you suck at finding me. Give up yet, Jack? ;)

Nope. I'm gonna find you. Even if it takes me all day. Can I get a clue?

As if I'd tell you where I'm hiding. You'll figure it out. Maybe haha.

"Damn you, Ralph," I muttered, shoving the phone back into my pocket. I started sprinting frantically around the house, searching every nook and cranny possible. Finally, after another hour of searching, some cursing, and a few groans of frustration, I shot him a text.

I give up. I hate you, mate. Where are you? :(

It didn't take long for another text to appear in my inbox.

Meet me on the roof, was all it said.

What? How in the world had he gotten on the roof? A surprised laugh left my mouth and I shook my head. Only Ralph would find a way to get on the roof and call that his hiding spot.

How did you get up there?

Used your bedroom window. Just crawl through it. It's easy.

Rolling my eyes, I started walking in the direction of my room.

I'm surprised you didn't fall off and die. Didn't think Mr. Clumsy could do something like that.

Shut up. Just get your butt up here.

Be there in a second.

Once I reached my room, I made my way over to the window. It was shut, so I dragged it upwards so I could get through it. Luckily, I was fairly thin for my age, so wiggling out of it wasn't a problem. Sure enough, when I got outside into the crisp, London air, Ralph was sitting on the roof with his back toward me.

I carefully inched closer, avoiding looking down. Heights and I never mixed well, which was why I rarely went on the roof. I occasionally did it out of sheer boredom, but other than that, I tended to avoid it at all costs.

"So why the roof?" I asked when I had gotten close enough for him to hear me.

He shivered slightly. I wasn't sure if it was from my proximity or the wind, but I hoped it was the former.

"It's the least likely place you'd find me," he answered, turning around to gaze at me. His blue eyes stared into mine. They were like an ocean, but were smoother than water, and held much more emotion than strong, steady waves.

"Well, you're right. Never would have guessed you'd pick this place. A clumsy person usually doesn't go for dangerous locations like a roof."

"Don't mock me, Jack Merridew." His voice was low and breathy.

Now I was the one who shivered. "And what if I do?" I had noticed how close we'd gotten. Only a few inches separated our faces.

He shook his head slowly, a little smile forming on his mouth. "You're my slave now. You have to do as I say, which means you shouldn't mock me."

"Oh. And what does my master want me to do right now?" I quirked my eyebrow, playing along. On the inside, however, I couldn't quell the feeling of disappointment. If only he was my slave. He would have to succumb to all of my wants, whether they were inappropriate or not. He would have been mine. But being his slave, I'd probably just have to do his chores or carry his books at school. Internally sighing, I braced myself to hear such things.

He drew nearer, running his hand down the length of my arm. He bent his head and murmured into my ear, "I want you to you to kiss me, Jack."

At his words, I scooted back a foot, so that there was more distance between us. "What?" I stuttered, my heartbeat roaring in my ears.

"You heard me," he sighed, dropping the sensual tone.

"But why?" My eyebrows probably reached my hair line at this point. I was utterly confused. Why in the world would he ask something like that?

"Jack, don't pretend you haven't noticed things changing. We're thirteen now, not five. Don't tell me you haven't seen the way I look at you. And I know that you look at me the same way. I like you, Jack. God, I like you. And I don't understand it all. I'm a boy, you're a boy. This isn't supposed to happen. We're supposed to feel this way about girls. But whenever I think about them, I get all disgusted cause they don't hold my interest. They don't drive me crazy like you do. Jeez, Jack. If you can't figure out that I'm mad about you, then you obviously don't deserve me…"

He didn't get a chance to finish his rant because I found myself leaning in and capturing his pouty lips with mine. His lips were unbelievably soft and they tasted a little bit like honey. He didn't kiss me back at first, probably because he was shocked, but slowly, I felt pressure on my lips. As he returned the kiss, he looped his arms around my neck, pulling us closer together. Eventually, oxygen became a necessity, so I let go of him.

"Wow," I said quietly, reaching for his hand to intertwine our fingers.

"Wow is right," he laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked, lifting our joined hands to gently run my lips over the back of his hand.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Jack, I have this huge crush on you and I'd love for you to be mine.' Yeah, right. You would have run away from me." He frowned slightly, furrowing his brows.

"No, I wouldn't have. Ralph, can't you see that I like you, too? I've liked you ever since we became friends, practically. I was worried about scaring you off. It's not easy to put my feelings out there, you know. It's terrifying, in fact."

"I know. Trust me, I do. But what does this mean? For us, that is."

I reached out with my other hand to brush the hair out of his eyes. Tilting his chin up with my pointer finger, I made our gazes lock. "What do you want it to mean?" I asked calmly on the outside, but my insides were churning rapidly.

"I want it to mean that there is an 'us.' I want it to mean that we don't have to wait around like we've been doing. Because honestly, I want to be with you, Jack. I want to be able to kiss you and hold your hand. I don't want to have to keep these feelings inside anymore. They're driving me up the wall." His voice dripped with sincerity, and his eyes rippled with so much passion that if I wasn't careful, I was going to kiss him senseless right then and there.

Still, I had doubts of my own. Despite being head-over-heels for this boy, there were still some things that stopped me from jumping in and saying yes. "But what about people knowing? We're thirteen, Ralph. And even though times are changing, not everyone will be happy about it. And our parents? What will they say?"

He pressed a finger to my lips. "I don't care, Jack. Dammit, I've waited years for you to realize how I feel. If it bothers you, we can keep it a secret. Then maybe one day when you're ready, we can tell everyone. We will tell them, though. I like you too much to hide everything forever. I won't pressure you. When you're ready, just let me know."

He removed his finger and leaned back to smile at me. His pearly whites showed, while his dimples popped out. Again, I had to resist the urge to latch my mouth onto his and kiss him for an eternity. It was like he was a drug, addicting and deadly. And I was the poor person who got sucked into the world of the drugs, into a world of Ralph.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" I squeaked out.

"What do you want it to mean?" he threw back at me, arching an eyebrow.

And this time, I answered him with a kiss.

My eyes flashed open after the memory-dream faded. A soft breath left me as my hand automatically reached for the other side of the bed, but it found nothing. Groaning quietly, I sat up, blinking in the darkness.

A shadow of a person was moving around the room, picking things up. When I realized what was going on, I rasped out, "Ralph, why are up so early?"

"I'm leaving soon," he muttered distractedly, continuing to grab clothes and other items to throw them into a large duffel bag.

"Again?" I asked, dropping my head in my hands.

"Yes, Jack. I told you I was on leave for two weeks. Two weeks are up. I've got to go," he replied in a strained voice.

I didn't have the energy to argue with him. It was too early in the morning for one thing, and I didn't want to fight before he left for another set of long months.

"I wish you didn't have to go," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks grow hot. Every time this happened, I let my walls fall. Normally, I wouldn't be nearly this vulnerable, but something about losing the one person I truly loved had a way of changing my perspective.

He stopped what he was doing and came over to sit down on the bed beside me. He clicked on the bedside lamp, so some light could spill around the room. Reaching over, he took my face in his hands. His expression softened as his blue eyes swept over me, taking in the disheveled hair and tired eyes. He inched closer to touch his lips to my forehead.

"I wish I didn't have to go, too. You know that," he whispered.

"Do I?"

"Of course you do. Jack…" he trailed off, but instead, tugged me into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around my torso, and I pressed my face into the side of his neck. My lips brushed the skin softly, while he ran his hands up and down on my back.

"You honestly don't know hard it is for me. God, Jack. If I could spend the rest of my life in your arms, I would. I don't understand why you'd have any doubts about that. When I'm with you, I'm home. Being at sea for the better part of my life isn't pleasant. But it is what it is."

"Then why are you still there?" I pulled back a bit, so I could see his face. Folding my hands in my lap, I watched him silently for a response.

This question had been invading my thoughts lately. Ralph and I both knew how difficult it was to maintain relationship like ours. He spent around ten months on a ship with the navy, fighting for our country, while I stayed in London. The distance was killing both of us, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take of it. Call me selfish, but I desperately wanted Ralph to leave the navy for good to be with me.

"You know why." He shrugged, but a frown remained on his lips. "I've told you a hundred times."

"I know," I sighed. "You want to follow your father's footsteps. He died for England, and even though you don't wish that upon yourself, you want him to be proud of you. I understand that, but really? Do you always have to put that in front of us?"

I could see the faint outline of his jaw and how it had become a tad tense. He was probably going to launch into a massive explanation about why he wasn't putting the navy first, and that this was really for the best. My shoulders slumped at the very idea of fighting. This was not the way I wanted to spend the morning. But his jaw slowly relaxed after a moment. He decided to take a hold of my hand, weaving his fingers through mine.

He took a deep breath before saying in a soft tone, "Jack, I love you more than anything. I love you more than the stars that twinkle in the sky, more than the wind that ruffles my hair in the summer, more than the oxygen I need to breathe. I love you so damn much that it literally tears me to pieces when I have to leave you. But you know the real reason why I'm gone all of the time. You know that when I'm on that ship, I feel like I'm worth something. Look at you, you're a lawyer. You help people fix their problems every day. That's what I'm doing when I'm away. I feel like I'm helping to fix and defend the country. Please believe me when I say that there's no place for me in London at the moment. Maybe someday there will be, but not now."

Despite his argument, I couldn't help but feel defensive. "But you went to college, Ralph! You and I both went to school and you're still in the navy! You could get any job out there with your talent and charisma. And yet, you decide to be as far away from me as possible. Why?" Each time he left, it always felt like this. Like my heart was being violently ripped out of my chest and shattered into a million chards.

He sighed once more. "I won't ever be able to give you an explanation that will make you see that this is the right thing, will I?"

I shook my head. "No. I guess it's a moot point on both ends, huh?"

"I suppose it is. But you have to know that I never want to leave. I just have to."

I wanted to say, No, you don't! You don't have to leave. Please don't leave me.

Of course, I knew that nothing I said would have made a difference. Ralph was stuck on that blasted ship until he chose to get off of it for good. So I bit my tongue and didn't say anything. I just stared at the man whom I loved with every part of me, feeling my insides shake and break.

Suddenly, without a word of warning, I was on my back with Ralph hovering above me. His lips were a couple of centimeters away from mine, but if I tilted my head a smidge, we would be kissing. I stayed where I was, eyes glazed over at his action, too surprised to even move.

"You know, my four years are up when I turn twenty-six. Right now, I'm twenty-four. I can officially get out soon, Jack. Then, we can be together forever," he murmured lowly, tracing his lips across my jaw and down my neck.

"You'd consider leaving for good?" I asked, trembling, both from his touch and the news.

"Maybe. Perhaps by the time I'm twenty-six, things will be squared away. Maybe I'll be ready to work in London. If you still want me by then, that is." His lips continued to graze my skin, but he paused in between kisses to get his words out.

I flipped him over, so that I was straddling him. "I'll always want you, Ralph," I growled playfully. "Today, tomorrow, and every day until I die. Never forget that." I began to run my lips over his cheeks, his eyes lids, his forehead, and then finally, his lips. Somehow, they managed to taste just a bit like honey every time.

I went to pull his white t-shirt over his head, but he grabbed my hand. "I've got to get moving, Jack. We don't have time right now," he reasoned.

Pouting, I rolled off of him, so that I lay next to him. "Way to ruin my fun," I groaned.

Chuckling, he scooted closer to tangle his hand through my red hair. "Sorry, baby. Maybe next time, though. When I'm back, we can go at it all night long if you want to."

Damn, next time couldn't come fast enough. Not with an offer like that.

I sighed, nodding. "All right, but I call being on top."

"You've got yourself a deal." He smiled broadly, dimples appearing instantly.

"I had a dream, by the way," I said, changing the subject.

"Oh? What was it about?" He stroked my hair, occasionally stopping to run his nails over my scalp. God, that felt good.

"It was actually a memory. About our first kiss."

"You mean the one on the roof when we were thirteen?"

"Yeah. I remember everything about that day. It was one of the best of my life."

"You're pretty cheesy, you know that?" he laughed.

"Please. I'm cheesy? Just a moment ago you said and I quote, 'Jack, I love you more than anything. I love you more than the stars that twinkle in the sky, more than the wind that ruffles my hair in the summer, more than the oxygen I need to breathe.' If that's not cheesy, I don't know what is."

"Hey! Those things are true. I try to be romantic and all you do is criticize," he scoffed.

I smirked. "I'm not criticizing. In fact, I find it adorable."

"I thought you hated that word. There was one time you said it wasn't 'manly' to use or something like that."

"Oh, shut up. I can use it when I want to," I shot back, grinning.

A slow blush made its way onto his face as he said, "That as one of the best days of my life, too."

Instead of answering him, I leaned in for another kiss. He responded quickly, exerting as much passion as I was. Our tongues danced together in a steady rhythm and our heartbeats were in sync, playing like an orchestra.

But in the next minute, the large grandfather clocked chimed, which made us pull away.

"I have to leave in fifteen minutes. I'm sorry." He grimaced, rising to get out of bed.

"It's okay." It wasn't, but I couldn't tell him that. Fighting was not a good thing right before his departure.

"I'll make you breakfast," I added, leaping out of the comfy oasis that I called our bed. I made my way into the kitchen to flick on the light.

"Thank you, dear," he answered in the same distracted tone from before.

I sighed, opening the cupboard to fetch a pan to cook with. In the next fifteen minutes, I finished making him a simple breakfast sandwich with eggs, sausage, and cheese. I wrapped it in a piece of foil so that it would stay warm, and placed the fresh coffee I brewed into the travel mug.

He came out of the bathroom, dressed fully in his navy uniform. He had his packed bag in hand, but he dropped it when he saw me with his meal in my arms.

"You really are too nice to me," he chuckled.

"You're lucky you have me." I stuck my tongue out at him, laying the food down on the kitchen table.

"I know I am. Sometimes I think I don't deserve you." He stepped closer, winding his arms around my waist.

"You'd be right, Mr. Harrison. But I love you anyway, so you're stuck with me." I smiled, and then our lips met in our last kiss.

When the clock chimed again, he unlatched his lips from mine, but kept his arms attached to me, refusing to let go. And just like every time before he left, he echoed those same words from years ago, "I'll always find you. You know that. I'll always find you and come back to you. It doesn't matter that I'll be thousands miles away from you. I'll come back to you, Jack Merridew. I swear."

I tried to blink away the tears that burned in the back of my eyes. Luckily, they didn't manage to escape, but my chest heaved from my struggling breaths.

"Okay," I responded shakily. "Okay, I'll hold you to that."

"Good." He withdrew and walked over to get his breakfast. In one hand, he held the food and in the other, his bag.

"I love you, Jack. I'll write you when I can, but I promise that I'll be back," he said quietly.

"I love you, too, Ralph. I always will." I clutched onto a nearby chair, so my weak knees wouldn't give out.

He turned then, striding to the door. Unlocking it, he opened it and a blast of the chilly London air floated inside. As soon as he walked through the door and shut it, I fell into the chair.

My head went into my hands. My heart ached and ached, and I could feel the familiar steel bars wrapping themselves around my heart. Every time Ralph was home, the steel bars would break and free me from the torture and hurt. But whenever left, the bars crushed my heart, bruising it in the worst way possible. I was prisoner then, feeling nothing but pain.

I sighed, glancing at the calendar. This was going to be a long eight months.