A/N: I warn you that this is a bit depressing!
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto
Have you ever had an out of body experience where you know you are being reckless but you can't stop it?
Gaara has.
It started out as a good day actually.
He had finally gotten to go see one of his favorite bands the night before and then that morning he and his brother and sister had an all-out food fight after Temari threw rice at Kankuro for making a rude comment about her cooking.
It wasn't until later that day when something in him had snapped.
Surprisingly enough it wasn't anything particularly negative that had happened. He had been texting his friend Naruto about how he was rejected by that one chick named Sakura again. Unfortunately, her rejections were starting to wear on him.
Naruto was wondering if it was even worth pursuing anymore.
But that wasn't something that really upset him. It wasn't the first time his friend had been rejected and he had a sneaking suspicion that it won't be the last.
The other negative thing that happened that day was that the restaurant he worked at had wanted him to stay later than scheduled when he already had an appointment waiting for him in about an hour or so.
Other than that his day had been fairly normal.
The weather had been nice too. After what seemed like an endless long winter, the sun was finally out giving the plants much needed warmth and light that spring usually brings.
It wasn't until about eight in the evening that he began to feel his mind snap.
He was sitting in his living room with his siblings joking with each other as he quietly watched when all of the stress of the life he lived before, his life with an abusive father and a family that neglected to love him seemed to be tumbling down into his mind.
He suddenly felt the huge rift that used to be between him and his siblings come to light once again as one thought began to scream in his mind over and over.
I do not belong.
This thought began to grow louder in his mind the more he tried to shove it away; the inside jokes between his siblings that he never really cared to know about became painfully obvious.
They do not need me.
All sense of purpose began to be snuffed out in his psyche making the small apartment in which he stayed with his family seem all the smaller.
His breath became shallow has he watched Tamari and Kankuro laugh at something they did, not sensing that something was wrong with their little brother.
They don't really care about me.
Aqua green eyes darted to glance outside, maybe the sight of the trees blossoming and seeing the moon will help calm him.
Like his once calm mind, the clear sky became agitated and angry as a storm began to roll in above.
Thunder clouds were growing darker, blotting out the moon and the stars.
Temari shrieked as her brunette brother tackled her to the ground after initiating an epic pillow fight using not only the pillows in the room, but the couch cushions as well.
Gaara felt the sudden urge to occupy his mind physically. He always did like the rain so maybe driving in it would help him calm down.
He stood up abruptly, startling his siblings to his presence.
"Something wrong Gaara?" Kankuro asked as he exchanged a worried glance with his elder sister.
The young man shook his head as he grabbed his keys, being careful to not make eye contact with his family, afraid that he would break down in front of them if they called him out on his sanity beginning to crumble away. "I'm just going out for a dive."
Hearing the slight off tone in her brother's response, Temari felt a feeling of foreboding. Something was wrong and if she didn't so something about it then maybe something will happen.
Before she could address it though, the ginger had already slammed the door shut and was halfway to his black beat up '98 Toyota Camry.
As soon as he started the car it began to rain. It was soft at first seeming to try to lull his mind into a relaxed state. Maybe coming out side really was a good idea.
He hooked his iPhone to an adapter for his speakers and blasted Linkin Park as he tore from the parking lot and out onto the open road.
The lyrics were comforting at first. He listened quietly as he steered his car toward a street that led to open space in the middle of nowhere.
That's the benefit of moving. After his crazy dad died his sister took him and his brother away from their home town so they could start "fresh" in someplace new.
His brother and sister began to heal from the damage that had been done to them but since he was a major target, Gaara had more damage to heal from.
Instead of healing right away, Gaara's mind began to grow more reckless. His thought process taking turns for the worst. He would have his ups and downs and he was getting better now that he was friends with Naruto, but a friend can only do so much for you.
His loud music began to shift from alternative to a hard techno beat. He reveled in feeling the bass as it vibrated throughout his car.
Gaara began to let his mind take control once again. What had set him of exactly?
I am weak and worthless.
He remembered once again what was going through his head as his panic and self-loathing began to takeover; the rain outside growing stronger and fiercer along with his darkening thought process.
I am not worth anyone's time and effort to fix.
He glanced to the side as he drove across a bridge. He mildly wondered if he drove off at that moment would it be enough to kill him…Probably not the bridge was most likely as high as a two story building at most. With his luck he'd just end up lying in a smashed car badly injured until help arrived.
No one would feel my absence as badly as I would hope anyways.
Tears burned the back of his eyes as he choked back blinding sobs at how pathetic he felt. He ended up finding an old park where he stopped his car to let his body jerk in an anxiety attack, his face wet with sweat and tears while trying to think of things to calm him to no prevail.
Neither his sister nor his brother had called to see if something was wrong. He had been gone for more than two hours by now; shouldn't they have tried to see if something was up?
I doubt they care. No one cares.
A loud clap of thunder was heard over head as he put his car back into drive and sped past the park he was previously at. He was going outrageously fast in the rain, the roads were slick with the water making them slippery and easier to cause accidents.
Blank eyes glanced at a river nearby, what if he just let his car 'accidently' slide in there?
Gaara dismissed the notion. Kankuro or Temari might need his car so it would be better if he didn't total it when he wanted to consider his own slightly spontaneous demise.
Then a thought hit him, their apartment complex had garages for each separate living space maybe he should park there… and then close the garage door while the car keeps running. At least there won't be too much damage or a big mess afterwards either.
Before he knew it, Gaara was already parked in his garage. He reached up to press the button in his car to close the automatic door when he heard a rapping sound at his window.
Surprise took over when he noticed a porcelain skinned woman with midnight blue hair and lavender eyes signaling for him to unlock the car, which he numbly complied.
Hinata let herself into the car and turned down the blaring music.
Concern was written all over her face as she looked at the broken man before her. Then she slowly reached over and turned the keys in the ignition to turn of the engine but not the music in the background.
"Closing the door with you still in while the car on is dangerous you know."
The red head just stared blankly at the girl sitting next to him invading his space.
Hinata bit her lip in thought as she reached into her pocket and grabbed a small packet of tissues. Pulling one out she proceeded to clean his tear streaked face.
Her hands were cool to the touch which felt good on his burning skin.
"You do matter you know," her eyes bore into his as she offered a weak smile.
Gaara said nothing. His mind had become numb he felt distant as if he wasn't really present at the moment.
"I just got home from work when I saw you. I noticed that you had the same look that I had when my family would tell me how useless I am."
Light seemed to slowly bleed into his dull aqua green eyes. Hinata's words were finally reaching him.
"I know your siblings love you and that your friends do to," the woman continued, "You are very special to Naruto-kun and I would hate for you to be taken away from him so suddenly. It wouldn't be fair to both you and him."
Gaara looked at her questioningly, and then recognition dawned on him.
"Naruto is your special person." Hinata nodded at the statement.
"You do not feel worthless anymore?"
The woman's eyes widened at the question, and then she slowly shook her head, "I have my family and friends to thank for that, especially Naruto-kun. I first started to live so that they will still have me around; but then I began to realize that I was worth something to myself as well."
Hinata reached for Gaara's hand and firmly gripped it. She pulled it to herself and kept pulling until he moved closer to her. The woman promptly wrapped her arms around his neck and held the less numb male in her arms while rubbing circles into his back.
"Everything will be fine, Gaara-san. I don't know what is wrong but you are worth my time and if you need it I will do all I can to be there for you."
"You would be there for me?" The red head whispered and the bluenette nodded.
"If Naruto-kun thinks you are special then you are. I've always thought you were worth my time so if his company is not enough let me be there too."
Gaara wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck and cried.
He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but Hinata was patient and gentle. She treated him with understanding instead of pity, the way Naruto does.
Once he calmed down, Hinata reached for his phone and typed her number into his contacts and called herself so she would already have his information as well.
"I saw Temari-san out on your balcony looking worried before I came inside, you should return to her and tell her what happened. She will want to help." Hinata gave him a soft smile and waited for him to exit his car before she did the same.
Hooking her arm in his she walked with him back to his apartment since it was next to hers.
"Do you want me to call Naruto-kun to come over and see you?"
The ginger shook his head, "I'll call him myself. Thank you."
Hinata gave him a bright smile, "Anytime! I'll stop by tomorrow to see how you are doing." With that she waived and went into her own apartment.
Gaara ended up calling his blond friend who immediately showed up afterwards and had him explain everything.
"You are one of my most precious friends!" Naruto exclaimed after he had barged in and punched the redhead for his reckless behavior.
Gaara just nodded, he was thankful that his mind was clear again, he'll have to do something about his mind snapping in the near future though.
It felt good to be surrounded by the ones he loves and feel like he was a part of something with them.
As Naruto and Gaara sat in his room, the read head told him of how Hinata had pretty much saved his life.
"Hinata is a very sweet girl!" The blond explained, "I think that everyone that knows her is lucky to have her as a friend."
Gaara nodded, "Just keep in mind Naruto, you are her special person and if you don't do something about her feelings anytime soon, I might just have to see if I can change her affections to go more towards myself."
Naruto gawked at his friend's bluntness, "She what?!"
Gaara just rolled his eyes and looked at him with a face that screamed 'you heard me.'
Feeling his cell vibrate the ginger looked at a text that was sent from the midnight haired beauty.
I hope Naruto-kun can cheer you up even further! Goodnight, and be safe! –Hinata
Gaara felt his lips pull up at the corners in a ghost of a smile; he glanced at his blond friend who was blushing at the idea of being the Hyuuga female's object of affections and felt the rest of the numbness fade away.
I am so making a move for the angel next door if he doesn't do anything anytime soon…
Thank you so much for reading!
I had been wanting to write a one shot for awhile now and I ended up hearing someone say write what you know, so most of this is from an actual experience though I changed it up a bit so that it could fit with Gaara. And before you say anything, yes I do know that angst in Gaara one shots are a bit cliché but I couldn't help myself!
I hope you enjoyed it!