Germany hummed the slutty Ke$ha song blaring through his headphones to himself as he clicked away at the keyboard. He was on a website called Fanfiction dot net, which was the internet's headquarters for, well.. non-visual porn. Recently, he'd discovered that people were writing these bizarre stories about nearly everyone who was a part of Hetalia. These writers had come up with something called 'ships', which was slang for a pairing of two characters that someone liked the idea of. Some of these metaphorical boats had names like Spamano, USxUK, and last but not least, GerIta. At first, Ludwig was a bit creeped out by the idea of him and Italy fricking the frack, but he soon got used to it and learned to like it, because Feliciano was his crush after all. On this night, however, things would change for everyone in the Northern Hemisphere. You had to leave the fucking computer on...
"Psst! Arthur!" Alfred lightly knocked on the door, slowly nudging it a bit so it was opened a crack. "What do you want now, you fool? It's nearly two in the morning!" He growled groggily. "Drink some tea and shut up. There's something I want to check out.." The blue-eyed boy forced England out of bed and into the study where Ludwig's computer was. "Dude, do you know what the heck this means? He forgot to log out. Now we have access to anything and everything we'll ever need to know!" America grinned and tried to pry the enthusiasm - if any - out of Arthur. "Come on. This is going to be sweet!" He giggled, rubbing his hands together like some kind of mastermind before letting his fingers rest on the mouse. "Hmm.. do you have any clue on where we should start?" A musical notification sounded and a message popped up on the screen. "Hey, bambino. You up to send me some dirty pics? Love, Feli." Arthur and Alfred exchanged glances as if to say, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
"I-Is that.. Feliciano? God blind me." England stared at the screen with wide green eyes. "Oh yeah, baby. Ich liebe dich, semicolon, parentheses.." Alfred spoke as he typed the words into the chat interface. He opened up Germany's browser and went into the images search. "I know just the guy." Smirking, he typed in a name that Arthur had never seen in his life before. "Eh.. Don't you mean Marilyn Monroe?" He chuckled. "Nope." America pulled up the picture of Marilyn Manson dressed up as Mickey Mouse, grinning devilishly. At that moment, England's face practically turned blue. He proceeded to 'sext' the freaky picture to Italy as the man sitting opposite him stared in horror.
"Nice, luv. Can't wait to see it." Feliciano responded. They could've sworn they heard his glass-shattering scream from all those miles away. "Dio mio, my God! Who are you and what have you done with Ludwig? Are you okay in there? Hello!?" The two boys burst out into laughter but quickly contained themselves in fear of being found out. "Okay, let's leave him hanging. I bet that killed his boner." Alfred chuckled. "You know we're probably going to hell for this, don't you?" England flicked him on the thigh. "Easy on the thighs, man.. and I bet it'll be well worth it once we see the outcome of this!" He grinned. "Okay, why don't we see what bullshit this Germ has been looking up?" They proceeded to look into his web browser's history and clicked on the first link that they saw. "Fanfiction dot net? I wonder what that is. It doesn't sound like a porn site."
"Hmm.. oh snap, is this about us? Hetalia story where America and England..." Alfred fell silent. "What? Story where we do what?" Arthur asked. "Shit. I need to unsee this, but I can't. Damn it." He scrolled down. "Holy shit. This is by Ludwig Beilschmidt!" Exclaiming, he grabbed England by the arm. "I refuse to look at that computer screen until you tell me what the bloody hell is on it." He growled. "Fine. You really want to know? Hetalia story where America and England have rough, kinky sex in France's bed." Arthur remained completely silent. He didn't budge, or even make a noise. How typical of him. "Don't you have anything to say about this?" He was now finding that this situation was becoming painfully awkward, so he hid his red face. "What do you want me to say? It's not like I wrote it, you wanker!"
"Why the fuck would Germany do this? This guy is seriously wacked in the head. He needs help. I mean, these are his fantasies being unleashed. Can you picture us having sex in France's bed? You know, I-" England hushed him with a death glare. If looks could kill, America would probably be dead right now. "If you're picturing us doing that stuff right now, there's something seriously wrong with you." He growled. "Buddy, it's only human nature! I'm only picturing what I'm reading, and so far, I'm liking it..." A smirk spread across Alfred's face. "Oh, you fat-assed Americans. 'Human nature' is your excuse for everything. Blame that Michael Jackson. And wait, did you say you.. what?" Their eyes met. "I mean, I can understand if you don't go for kink, but still..."
"Alright, have fun wanking off to gay sex. Have a blast imagining us fucking." England began to walk out of the room, but America stopped him in his tracks. "Oh, but you know you want my body, Arthur." He slammed the door shut and locked it tight. "No, I believe I don't, Alfred." The older man growled and tried to break free from his constrainer's grasp. "Fine. I'll prove you wrong, then." It was so of America's nature to want to prove everyone wrong and show that he was right. He began to remove his white tank top, revealing the most gorgeous and firm set of abs Arthur had ever seen in his life. And that's a long life. His drool almost spilled out of his mouth and onto the ground, but he managed to catch it. "Like what you see?"
"Wank me off, England. It'll just be tonight. No one has to know." Alfred smirked and whispered into his ear. "F-Fine. Just know that if you were any other man I wouldn't be doing this right now." He slipped America out of his star-spangled boxers and marveled at his length. "Mhmm.. Tell it to America Jr." The green-eyed hot mess began to tremble slightly as he stroked Arthur's member. He moaned in response. "Y-You know you've always wanted to do me.. No denying it now..."