Whatever the Hell You Wanna Call It

By:

Ronald F. Pelech ( Shinigami, Dark Water)

Disclaimer:

Gundam Wing nor the G-boys belong to me ( unless someone wants to sell the full rights to me, which I would be extremely happy! )This fic will have adult language and should probably be not be read by anyone under the age of 14, unless you promise not to repeat it!

Dark Water: What do you mean by alot of adult language?

Shinigami: Man, quit your damn whining, I'm bored here!

Dark Water: But do you really have to swear?

Shinigami: Hell yeah!

Dark Water: Son of a bitch.

Now I'm sure you don't want to hear these little bastards arguring, so onto the damn fic!

" Why do we have to go to Heero's house? "

Wufei is being is usual bitchy self as him and the other g-boys are driving over to Heero's house for a sleep-over, which was a nice change because they just had to get away from Relena.

" Man I'm just glad that I get to show off my new SUV!" exclaimed Duo, as he sat in his brand spanking new Dodge Durango. " Heero's going to be so jealous :)".

They finally show up at Heero's house, legs extremely sore because it was a long drive and Duo didn't want anyone to stretch their legs.

dark water: why didn't duo let them out of the car?

shinigami: man I don't know, I don't even know why I decided to be his partner.

Trowa decides to ring the door bell because the others were afraid to because they thought that the house might blow up or something. Finally, Heero answers the door." About damn time you guys show up. What kept you? "

Wufei comes up with all the damn sleeping bags and junk food and said " Blame baka Maxwell. He wouldn't shut up about his crappy car."

At that, Duo comes up "What are you calling crappy? Atleast I have a car. With you, you have to ask your mommy, dipshit!"

" Fuck you Maxwell! I have half a mind just to kick your sorry ass all over Heero's lawn!"

" Guys, calm down. We came here to have some fun and get away from Relena." Says Quatre, who has been quiet all this time.

" Quatre's right."said Trowa. " let's go in and just relax, ok?"

Both Duo and Wufei straigten themselves up and walk into the house, daggers pointed at each other.

Once inside, they are greatly surprised that Heero's house is so damn big you can probably fit all their mobile suits inside comfortably.

" Heero. How can you pay for all this dude?" asks Duo, with a big surprised look on his face.

" Well, you know all those taxes that the tax-payers have to pay?" says Heero.

" You mean to tell me all that is used for this place? Damn!" quotes all 4 g-boys at once.

dark water: you mean to tell me that's what all our tax dollars go for?

shinigami: yeah I guess. and I thought it was going towards our armed forces.

dark water: well, that's our tax dollars at work!

Heero simply gives a evil smirk.

Quatre pops up and says " So, what should we do first? "

Duo immediantly jumps out of his trance and says "Lets play my gamecube. I got a new game for it!"

Wufei says " Fuck the gamecube, it's all about x-box baby!"

Duo then snaps back " Man, x-box can go suck my right nut!"

dark water: what's wrong with those two?

shinigami: who knows. maybe they are on their periods or something.

dark water: is that possible?

shinigami: dude, it's our fic, anything is fucking possible!

Heero comes into the conversation " guys, I have like 4 tv's in the living room, we can play all those systems at once, ok?"

Once again, Duo and Wufei look at each other like they are going to kill each other.

Quatre asks Duo " which new game did you get?"

Duo answers quickly " Custom Robo. It's a kick ass game!"

Quatre says " interesting, we ought to try that first then."

Wufei says " do what you want. I'm gonna unpack and I'll see you guys later."

Heero says " what crawled up his ass and died?"

Trowa said " he didn't wanna come. He said he would rather have it at his house."

Heero then comes up with a nasty reply " house? He lives in a small ass trailer in which he couldn't fit his ass raping donkey that likes to fuck wufei whenever it gets the chance."

The other 3 g-boys snorted and start laughing but also say how harsh that was to say, especially for Heero to say. Heero just did another nasty smirk.

dark water: is Heero always like this?

shinigami: not really, only when he's tired of Wufei crying like a little bitch

dark water: and how often is this?

shinigami: I'll tell you. Stop interrupting the damn fic jackass

dark water: but I wanna know ( cries like a little baby )

It is getting close to lunch time when the doorbell rings and a tower of pizza's come in with a very large amount of coke following.

" FOOD! " exclames Duo as he snatches one of the boxes of pizza and starts to chow down.

" Thanks Heero " as Quatre grabs a box with a coke and walks over to Trowa, who is just happy to be away from everything.

Wufei then walks into the room, and for some odd reason, looking like death warmed over.

" Wufei, is everything ok? " asked Duo with a half eaten piece of pizza.

Wufei, completely ignoring Duo, walks over to Heero and also takes a box of pizza " Thanks Heero. "

" No problem Wufei, " says Heero. " Everything ok? "

" Yeah, just got the call from the hospital. Sally will be ok. " says Wufei with a big sigh.

dark water: I didn't know Wufei ate pizza.

shinigami: well, whenever something happens to his sally, he'll eat anything.

Wufei: shut up, she's not mine dumbass!

When everyone is done eating, there is another ring of the doorbell. Everyone looks at each other and wonders who the hell it can be. Heero walks to the door and nearly passes out as who is at his door.

" HEERO! I'm bored, I need some company! " exclames Relena as she waits for the door to be opened.

Heero spins around quickly and asks " Who the hell told her where I lived?"

Everyone looks at each other and they all shrug their sholders.

Finally the door gets busted down by Relena as she runs into the house and says " What are you doing here? I thought you had business to take care of?"

Heero starts to back off as the others run for their lives just to get away from this pyscho bitch.

Then out of the blue, Heero pulled a gatling gun out of spandex space and just started pumping Relena full of lead and started doing a very evil laugh when she fell to the floor in a pool of her own blood.

The other g-boys got out of their hiding spots, but still very afraid of Heero because he still had the gatling in his hands.

"So Heero, have any good freakouts in the past?" asked Duo very cautiously

Heero just smiled and said "Only when I get to do that to real annoying people."

shinigami: well, I guess Relena got what she deserved.

dark water: and what was that?

shinigami: being a royal bitch and always stalking Heero!

Later on everyone decides to play Duo's new game. Well, everyone but Wufei. About halfway through the game, everyone hears a frightful scream coming from Wufei's room.

Wufei comes stomping out. " I lost my x-box! " sobs Wufei.

Duo sneaks a quick snicker.

" Baka Maxwell, I know damn well you had something to do with this. Where is my x-box? " screams Wufei.

Duo comes back with a calm return, but with a big smirk on his face " I think we lost it on the freeway here Wu-chan."

Wufei looks like his head is about to explode. " Asshole, you planned this all along didn't you? Now prepare to die!"

Heero quietly gets up and says " Now now gentlemen, and I use that term lightly. Why don't you 2 settle this with your gundams?"

Duo looks at Heero with a strange look. " But didn't we get rid of them? "

Heero smirks and pulls a lever that just magically appeared.

A door opens and all the custom gundams are there, fueled up and ready to go. " I got bored so I decided to have a little fun, " says Heero with a big smirk.

Wufei runs into the room and jumps into his beloved nataku and yells down at Duo " get in your gundam now or I'll smash you. "

" Alright alright, don't get your panties in a twist Wufei " says Duo as he jumps into his gundam and gets ready to fight to survive.

Trowa and Quatre go into the room next dressed as Duo and cheering " Duo, Duo. He's our man. If he can't do it, no one can! "

Heero quietly gets a seat and starts eating cold pizza as he looks on to see Duo and Wufei fighting each other.

After a while, both machines get pretty beaten up and Duo says to Wufei. " Dude, I'm pretty tired. Can we call it a draw? "

Wufei then yells " No we may not. I'm here to kick you ass and make you pay! "

Duo then says " Then the only choice I have left is to self denotate. "

Both Trowa and Quatre say " No Duo! "

Duo pushes a button, nothing happens...

Then out of nowhere, Wufei's gundam blows and there is nothing left of Wufei. Duo looks shocked as well as Trowa and Quatre. Heero simply smiles.

" Well, we finally got rid of the 2 most annoying people on the face of the planet " says Heero.

The other g-boys look at him as if asking what the hell happened just now.

Heero then explanes " I set up the self detonation device so if anyone pushed it, Wufei's gundam would blow up " with a evil grin.

Everyone looks at Heero and runs out of the house and into the car and speeds off.

" I lose more friends like that, don't I socky Relena? " exclames Heero as he walks into the house.

The End

Or is it really?

dark water: man that was some fucked up shit.

shinigami: yeah, but it was funny as hell. who would've thought Heero could be so evil?

dark water: make sure to remind me to never fuck with him, ok?