I got rather bored and decided to do a quick fic, so it's not too thought out, but still, I hope it gives you some amusement.

Push and Gasp

Ushas grit her teeth and tried to concentrate on studying with Drax; not realising through her anger that she'd already ripped the paper into tiny pieces, and continued to do so. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, eyes shut lightly. "If those idiots don't stop that racket within the next five seconds, I'll personally go in there and shut them up." She vowed, causing Drax to back off slightly. Last time she'd said something like that, he and Koschei were left dripping in rather a wide variety of animal body parts, sores all over their bodies, and some fluid neither of them even wanted to know about.

And then, just like that, silent's. The only sound in the room was of Ushas and Drax's light breathing. Cautiously, the young blonde opened her eyes. The banging had stopped, replaced by the much more familiar sound of the wildlife outside the room's large window.

"Thank Rassilon for that." Ushas sighed, smiled, and then went back to the book Drax and herself had been reading. "Oh, look here." She said, pointing to a paragraph in the book. "What utter rubbish. Why go to all that trouble when they could just destroy it. Worked for me. It would've gone so much better to if that dolt Theta hadn't intervened yet again. Honestly, he can't even stand to see an insect die. Pathetic. How does he expect science to evolve when he ruins every experiment? They very almost made me loose my lab privileges last week with yet another of their childish games."

"Well, you know him." Drax shrugged his shoulders. "Next time don't let him know what you're up to. Or Koschei, as you know he'd just tell him."

"Hmm… Insolent little worms." She sneered. "Anybody who interferes with my work should be crushed!"

Drax once again put a few foot of distance between them. "That wasn't exactly what I meant…"

Before Ushas could reply, the banging in the next room began again. "Arrrrh! I'll kill those harebrained nasty vile obnoxious rotten repulsive abominable cross-bred moron's!"

Stomping her way out of the room, Ushas strode a small way down the hall and was ready to throw open the door to Koschei and Theta's room when she stopped dead at the voices of the two drifting threw the door.

"Please, just hurry up and put it in, I can't, I can't wait any longer."

A low chuckle. "No patients." A gasp. "Ooh yeah. … Is it hurting?"

"Feels good. Ouch! Yeah, yeah, that is hurting. No, don't stop!"

"Wouldn't dream of it. I'll try going slower for now. Better?"

"Hmmm. Still hurts, need to adjust… Oh, oh! Just like that, right there, don't push, just, just slide it in. Oh, I said don't push, it hurts. Feel's good though, so warm.

"Want me to pull it out?"

"Rassilon no. I need this, need to do this, please Koschei. Press down... down more... Ok more... come on, ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah, oh push a bit harder... mmmmm... Please, just a little more."

"I love it when you beg." Koschei murmured.

Very slowly and silently, eyes impossibly wide, Ushas backed off. After a few steps she spun on her heel and ran back to tell Drax everything.

Meanwhile, back in Theta and Koschei's room, the boys fell back against the formers bed, tired out. "It just isn't working." Theta sighed. "It's too small, doesn't work for me."

"What do you mean to small?!" Koschei snapped. "You're the one who didn't want to stop."

"I know, I know. I appreciate your efforts Koschei, but I can't go to a ceremony with the mother of all cramps! My feet would die." He gave an expressed sigh. "What should I do? I need to be leaving now!"

"Forget it. You can't go like that." And so Koschei pulled off the too small (yet incredibly warm and soft) shoes and tossed them across the room.