A Fool For Five Minutes
Written for Romantically Loveless (see, I changed it! :P)
XXX
"Tsubasa-sempai!!" squealed Mikan as she raced down the corridor. She engulfed him in an incredibly enthusiastic hug, the kind that made passer-bys stare and think, what a weirdo.
"Heya, Mikan," said Tsubasa, fondly ruffling her pigtails. "I haven't seen you around for ages, have I?"
"Nuh-uh," said Mikan, letting go and shaking her head. "Why don't you ever come to our Alice Type classes?"
"Sorry... I, um, was really busy," Tsubasa replied. He actually had been really busy - or at least not available. The last time Mikan had hugged him just before Special Ability class, a certain mysterious person had tied him to a chair with a post-it note stuck to his forehead reading, 'no hugs for paedophiles, you perv'. But Mikan didn't need to know that.
"Well, you've gotta come someday!" said Mikan, leading him down the corridor. "Misaki-sempai was really worried about you!"
"Really?" Tsubasa couldn't quite keep the hopeful note out of his voice.
"Sort of. Ish. Anyway, have you seen Natsume around? I really need to ask him something..."
Tsubasa inwardly winced. He didn't want to be reminded of the chair-plus-post-it incident. "No, sorry. When's your next class?"
"Uh... five minutes ago!" Mikan said happily, looking at her new watch. "We've got... Biology!"
"Shouldn't you be going to it then?"
"I mean, in fifteen minutes. I set it twenty minutes late by accident and then I didn't have time to change it again," she explained. "Hey, can I ask you something, Tsubasa-sempai?"
"Sure, what?"
"Do you like Misaki-sempai?"
"What?"
"Would you be really jealous if she went out with someone else, like Kaname-sempai?" continued Mikan, ignoring his answer.
"I guess, yeah, why?"
"Because Sumire's going out with Koko, and she says that Natsume might be really jealous, but I don't get it."
"So... basically she thinks Natsume likes her."
"She does? Oh okay... that makes sense, I think. But why would Natsume be jealous of her? I think he should be happy that she's happy and Koko's happy, you know?"
"But if Sumire thinks Natsume likes her, then she thinks that he wants to go out with her instead of Koko and then he'll be angry at Koko for going with her and Sumire for going out with someone who's not himself."
Mikan stared at him for a few seconds. "Actually, never mind. I still don't get it. Oh yeah, why does Natsume get all annoyed and stressy whenever I hug you or Koko or someone? Last time he burnt even more of my hair than usual and then told me I was being a bigger idiot than when I first came to this school."
Tsubasa scratched his head absent-mindedly. "Look, Mikan, boys are idiots. I mean, I'm not an idiot, but some boys are. Probably including Natsume, because he's probably a boy. I would have thought, otherwise he's- anyway, as I was saying, he thinks in stupid ways. And... uh..." He had actually forgotten what he was going to say next and the point of this teaching-Mikan-the-ways-of-the-world talk, but never mind. "Anyway, be nice to him, pay him lots of attention and don't ask silly questions."
"Okay... thanks Tsubasa-sempai," beamed Mikan, who looked as if she had understood none of what he had just said. "I've got to go now, 'cos this is my next classroom, bye!"
Tsubasa waved and set off again.
XXX
"... I know you're upset about me and Koko going out, but I hope we can still be friends!" said a girl from the back corner of the classroom as Mikan walked in. "Oh, hi Mikan," said Sumire, looking up.
"Hi, idiot," grumbled Natsume, after Sumire prodded him.
"Hi guys!" Mikan replied, grinning. "What're you talking about?"
"So as I was saying, we're still friends, right? And do try to be happy for us, although I know it must be very hard for you," Sumire said to Natsume, ignoring Mikan. She squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring manner - Natsume shrugged her off.
"Seriously, I don't care," he growled, looking up at Mikan with a hint of a "save me!" expression. Although him being Natsume, it was hard to tell.
"Aw, don't be like that! The longer you're in denial, the harder it will be later!" Sumire patted him and opened her mouth to say something else. "And if you ever get really, really depre-"
"Shut u-" started Natsume, but he was interrupted by Mikan.
"Natsume! I need to ask you something!" she cried suddenly, plopping down on his desk. Sumire and Natsume looked up. Natsume wasn't quite sure if she had said that to prevent him from telling Sumire exactly what to do with her reassuring pats, or whether she was just a very, very lucky person. (A few seconds later and she would have been caught in the middle of the Decade's Biggest Slapfest.)
"What!?" said Sumire, glaring. "Can't you see we're in the middle of something?"
"No, Mikan, please continue," said Natsume, taking Sumire's hand on his arm and throwing it away. Sumire made an indignant "uh!" sound, got up, and stalked away. Probably hunting for Koko. That poor sod, thought Natsume.
"Did you just say... please?" said Mikan, her eyes wide with astonishment. "You're never that polite! Did Sumire and Koko going out really affect you?"
"No."
"Anyway, there's this one thing I just wanted you to tell me - wha-"
"Luca," Natsume stated, turning towards the door.
"-t's - hey, what? Natsumeeeeee, I was talking to you!"
"Hi, Natsume. Hi, Mikan," said Luca, smiling nervously as he sat down next to Natsume. His bunny hopped out of his arms and waved frantically towards the door, squeaking slightly.
"Hi, Luca-pyon!! What's with Bunny-Boo?" asked Mikan, looking up. There was something very dusty and noisy just outside the door...
"HeyguyshaveyougotanycoffeeImreallythirstyandIneedadrinkNOW!" shouted the cloud of dust. It sounded awfully like a fast-forwarded version of Yuu.
And indeed, it was.
"Quick, hide under the table," said Natsume without the slightest trace of emotion as the flailing thingentered the classroom. Luca sniggered and Mikan looked confused.
"Don't you think we should help him?"
Natsume shook his head. Luca sighed and said, "I'm sure he'll be alright."
"Oh, what's this?" a surprised - and yet strangely amused - voice said, again from the doorway. Being two minutes before the start of a lesson, the door was where most of the action usually happened. Narumi (in a rather fetching red kimono) (at least it would have been rather fetching had he not been of the male sex) (Mikan didn't care, though) had just attempted to enter the room; the word "attempted" is used because the doorway was blocked by a mad whirl of Tobita Yuu.
"Narumi-sensei!" squealed Mikan, jumping off the table to greet him. She reached Yuu, and gently pushed him into a corner where he couldn't hurt himself, where he said something like "UrglebleurgleIthinkIneedacappuccino."
"Uh... Narumi-sensei... do you think he'll be okay? Should we give him something?" Mikan asked.
Narumi looked at Yuu and then back at Mikan. "Get him some coffee and he'll be fine. Have you seen my mug?"
"...nope," Mikan replied, wondering where she could get Yuu his caffeine fix.
"Oh well," said Narumi, trying to find his way to the teacher's desk. "I swear I left it here last night..."
"Your mug is being used as a nursery to grow talking sunflowers. Greenhouse C, in case you didn't know - and what happened to our esteemed class President?" said Hotaru from behind him, dumping her bag on the chair next to Luca. Luca smiled and moved up to give her room. Unfortunately, this meant squishing Natsume somewhat, who glared at Luca and then even more so at Hotaru.
"Great! Thanks!" beamed Narumi, whirling around to face her. "Aw, you look ever so cute with that hairclip today!"
"Don't mention it," said Hotaru, giving him such a don't-you-dare-come-any-closer glower that even Natsume blinked, looking at her.
"I think I'll try and find Yuu a cup of coffee," said Mikan, still watching him worriedly. However, the other three at the table were not listening to her in the slightest, thanks to the distraction of Narumi pinching Hotaru's cheeks and Luca's subsequent horrified expression.
"Get off me," Hotaru mumbled through pinched cheeks. She wished she had not left her Doofus-forwardslash-Perverts Gun v.3.4 in her workshop to be serviced.
And then a rather strange thing happened. What seemed to be a mound of moving carpet surged up and pushed Narumi out of the room, while he protested cheerfully and waved goodbye to Mikan. Looking closer, she realised that what she had taken for carpet was actually a small army of mice, all of which was now returning to Luca's lap.
"Luca! What did you do that for!?" said a shocked Mikan.
"He deserved it!" Luca replied defensively. "He's such a.... weirdo! Besides, he shouldn't be hitting on schoolgirls even if he wasn't supposedly dating someone else!"
"Aw," said Natsume, smirking at Luca's defensive expression, while at the same time Mikan said, "Eh? Someone else who?"
"What?!" Luca almost-yelled. Luca never really yelled, you see.
"I'm sorry, pardon?" said Hotaru quietly.
"I'm so confused!" Mikan wailed.
"That is so cute!" a fangirl squealed as she followed Sumire and Koko into the room. The four looked round at the sudden interjection.
"Thank you," said Sumire smugly.
"No, I was talking about Luca and Hotaru!" the fangirl continued (squealing). "Don't you think he looks so adorable when he's protecting her?"
Sumire looked as if she was torn between melting into a puddle of fangirly goo, about to shout at the poor fangirl for fangirling Luca/Hotaru rather than Luca/Sumire, or about to shout at the poor fangirl for not talking about her and Koko. The two-thirds that said, "Shout at her!" won, and so she did. Koko mumbled something like, " 'Kay right I'm staying out of this," and sat in the row behind Natsume and the others.
While Sumire shouted away, Hotaru's expression grew colder and colder. That was the second person to call her cute in the last five minutes... and Hotaru never, ever allowed anyone to call her cute. Why, oh why, did she have to pick todayto repair her Doofus-forwardslash-Perverts Gun v3.4?
Luca could not fail to notice the suddenly Arctic temperatures that the air around Hotaru had picked up. In fact, he was about to send his mouse army off for another attack, when he realised that Mikan had also joined into the shouting match.
"Stop it you two I think they're cute too so be quiet and be nice!" shouted Mikan.
At the same time, Sumire shouted, "You have no right to gush about those two without my express permission and at least have the decency to compliment me first!"
While the fangirl (Mikan thought her name might have been Wakako or something) said, "But they are cute... and so are you and Koko... okay...?"
And then it was over and they didn't really have much else to say.
"That's better," said Mikan happily. Luca sighed, and the temperature around Hotaru rose slightly.
"Sorry for shouting," said Sumire to Wakako in a tone that really said, "I'm not sorry at all but I might as well say this before someone makes me."
"I do think you are sweet, though," said Wakako to Luca and Hotaru.
"Not me," said Hotaru, pushing her chair away from Wakako and Sumire.
"Uh... thanks," said Luca, turning an interesting shade of genetically-modified-beetrootomato.
"Hey, are you actually going out though?" said Wakako. "I didn't think you were, but I thought I'd check." Sumire looked exasperated.
"... no..." said Luca, wishing Wakako would go away. Luckily enough, Sumire sensed this and told her so before Luca could turn any redder.
"Did you see where Yuu went?" Luca asked. That whirling dust cloud seemed to have disappeared for now.
"Never mind that; just listen to what's going on next to you," Hotaru said. Wakako and Sumire also turned to listen. Mikan was saying something...
"-so I wanted to ask you, because everyone else told me you'd know and because you were the person who said it to me in the first place - what the frick is a thong?"
Natsume raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth. There was a funny sound, like a drain unblocking or a cow hiccuping, and a few seconds passed before the others realised that Natsume was laughing. Or something. In any case, it didn't look to Mikan like he was planning on replying.
"You did NOT just say that," said Sumire with disbelief to Mikan. "You can not seriously be that dense... can you?"
"But what is it!?" Mikan cried. "No-one in the school will tell me!"
Wakako didn't answer, because she was having a giggling fit. Sumire broke down, and joined her. Luca was determinedly looking away, and Hotaru was smiling slightly in the way that told Mikan, "That is so hiliarious that it will cheer me up for the next week or two". Natsume was still laughing, and Mikan was staring at him. Had he ever laughed before in his life?
"Laugh all you want," she said sourly. "Besides, Misaki-sensei is going to be here soon, so you'll have to stop. Ha. Ha." She stomped to the chair next to Hotaru and plonked herself down, looking mutinous. "It wasn't THAT funny!"
"How would you know?" Sumire said, giggling, as she went to sit behind Natsume and next to her new boyfriend. (He was also laughing at Mikan, by the way.)
A sudden gust of wind from the door slamming open silenced them, as Misaki-sensei chose that precise moment to walk in with a rather more normal Yuu. The rest of the class groaned quietly and panicked about where they had last left their Biology textbooks.
"Sit down," said Misaki to Yuu, pointing at an empty table. "Sorry for being a bit late - I found him in the staffroom drinking a few litres of coffee," he said to the rest of the class when they looked at him questioningly.
"Why did he want the coffee anyway?" said Sumire, glancing at Yuu, who was still somewhat shaky.
"Withdrawal?" said Misaki, shrugging and trying to find a few spare textbooks for those inevitable cries of "I searched everywhere but it just seems to have disappeared!".
"Does he normally drink that much?"
"How would I know?" said Misaki grumpily. "Open your books to whatever page we did yesterday, borrow someone's pen if you've lost yours again, and don't remind me about Narumi's kimono."
Mikan sighed. Another day barely begun, and yet her brain already seemed to be half fried.
XXX
Prompts:
1. Tsubasa teaching Mikan something about the opposite sex.
2. Sumire saying "I know you're upset about me and Koko going out, but I hope
we can still be friends!" to Natsume.
3. Narumi pinching Hotaru's cheeks because he thinks she's so cute.
4. Ruka unleashing animals on Narumi because he's jealous.
5. Mikan asking Natsume what a "thong" is. x] (optional)
6. Yuu is caught drinking a pound of coffee.
These prompts weren't as crazy/stupid as the ones I normally get, so I'm sorry if this fic sounded too normal and too short... I still think it's pretty weird, though. Although even I, the author, don't see the point of the Tsubasa bit at the beginning of it. :S
Title from a Chinese proverb (apparently): He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
Also: BIOLOGY A LEVEL IS HELL SO IF I'M OBSESSING ABOUT BIOLOGY IT'S NOT MY FAULT 'KAY. And if you're not English and you don't know what an A level is, count yourself lucky. Google it.
I'm so, so sorry for not replying to various PMs and emails. I am really busy and stressed out right now, and it's not because I hate you or anything. Okay? :)