Twilight owns the characters. I only own the story line. Review please! Bellas POV Preface:
It was cold outside. I could feel the raindrops pouring down on me forcing my clothes to cling to me. I guess I was thankful for the rain for it helped wash away the tears that I once tried to hold in.
The streets were empty. I hadn't realized how late it was. It was better this way. I really didn't want anyone to see me all hurt and broken.
Its funny how you think your life has changed for the better, but if you were to really take a closer look at it, you would have realized that life isn't meant to feel that great. I knew that I didn't carry the intelligence that most of humanity have but I didn't think I was that diluted either. How could I possibly believe that he could have really loved me? That he could have wanted me the way that I had wanted him? The words that he had once said clouded my better judgment. They erased the little knowledge that I had obtained over the years, only to prove themselves to me once more. I wasn't worth it. I thought that I had already been aware of it. Guess not. Maybe I should have listened to my mother when she told me that no one would ever love me. I should have listened when she told me that I would end up alone and bitter. But even though I was only nine years old, I still held hope that one day I would be able to prove her wrong. That one day, I would be able to prove to her that someone out there would love me. I just had to find him.
I had grown up around people who put on a façade of a happy family. My childhood friends all envied me because as they said, " I had the perfect mother." I was so used to hiding behind my smile and making others believe that I really did have a perfect mother, that I was too scared to tell otherwise. I hated being home. I used every possible chance that arrived to leave. School was my safe haven. I knew even so young, that if I wanted to prove my mother wrong, school would be the only source of a possibility to leave and do so. And so, I excelled in every aspect that school contained. I had received the highest marks and when it came down for graduation I had been awarded valedictorian. Of course it wasn't because I was that smart. It was just that they felt bad for me. That's what my mother told me the day that she was informed.
No one sat in the seats that were reserved for me. No one came to see me put on a fake smile as I read aloud the fake words that I had conjured up about moving on to bigger and better things. It was better this way. I didn't need them to criticize me anymore then they had already all my years growing up. I didn't need to hear the truth again, I mean I already knew that I would never amount to anything and I would have proved my stupidity to a higher level if I would have tried to amount to something even in the smallest bit. I was about to enter the real world and I wasn't a child anymore. Things would no longer be given to me because they felt badly for me. I knew I had a long and hard fight ahead of me but just as I did when I was nine years old, I still held hope. Boy was I stupid!
I finally reached my street. I stopped walking and wiped away the last of the tears that I allowed to escape. It was from that point on that I decided to finally "smarten up" as I should have so many years ago. I decided to let go of the hope I once held on to so dearly. I would never again believe that I could prove my mother wrong when she had been right all along. I would never be loved and I would die alone and bitter. I began walking down the rest of the way to what I call home ready to finally accept the life that I would inevitably live no matter what the circumstance. A cold and meaningless life.
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