A/N: I forgot to write a St. Patrick's Day Swan Queen fic. Oh no! Rectified with 15 minutes of St. Patrick's Day left… Inspired by my crazy fun work place. Some of this dialogue is what my manager actually said to me today.
…..
Emma woke up and thought it was a day like any other day. How wrong she was. She wasn't going to work this morning. No. She got intercepted by her father, who clapped her on the back and directed her to the nearest bar.
St. Patrick's Day pub crawl starting at 7am for city employees (which was most of the town.) For some reason, the pub crawl was mandatory. There was an official memo from the Mayor's office on legit stationery about it.
Last person standing "won" St. Patrick's Day. Fairytale Americans always made everything into a drinking competition. It was ridiculous. There was also some of sort decorating contest, but the details were kind of vague. Emma worked out that she needed to wear green. She put on a green t-shirt, but that wasn't good enough, because her mom practically assaulted her and added festive accoutrement.
'Pieces of Flair' she had said. 'It will be so fun' she said as she fitted a spring loaded 4 leaf clover headband over Emma's ears, and sparkling green novelty glasses on her face. She didn't need glasses. Then, just when Emma thought she couldn't be any greener, Snow showered her in an outpouring of beads and buttons with pictures of leprechauns and rainbows.
Turns out it's not much of a bar crawl when there are only two places in town that sell alcohol: the rabbit hole and Granny's Diner. It was sort of a bar 'pong' where the townsfolk bounced back and forth between the two establishments.
Both 'bars' ran out of Guinness by 8am. Everywhere Emma looked there were rainbow balloon arches and rainbow paper chains. If she hadn't known any better she would have assumed she was celebrating gay pride.
Then she saw Regina, and Emma remembered that every day she saw Regina felt like she was celebrating gay pride.
Regina strolled into Granny's in formation with her new posse of witches and Granny tried to bar their entrance. But Cruella, who was totally wearing a Lady Gaga Kermit the frog green coat, just threw her hands on her hips and deadpanned that she was Irish as well as all her friends.
Granny kind of gave them side eyes, but she wasn't about to 86 Irishwomen so she let them all in. Regina was dressed in a very tight, very rainbow leather dress, and carrying a little pot o' gold, (that was clearly a gold spray painted plastic cauldron,) full of candy.
Emma listened to the 100th joke about Rumpelstiltskin being a leprechaun and drunken Belle getting all butt hurt about it, before Regina finally broke her free from the pack.
The woman walked right up to her, swatted her clover headband suggestively, and asked Emma to dip her fingers in her 'lucky pot of gold'. Then she asked her to join her in the back room to 'taste her rainbow' and even said Emma was looking 'magically delicious.'
It didn't take much convincing when Emma broke down and asked Regina to kiss her. She just said that she was Irish.