Disclaimer: I do not own A Song of Ice and Fire. It rests in the clutches of GRRM.
Author's Note: This is number 32 in my one-word prompt series. And it's going to be rather short. I decided to break it up into chapters, as it makes for easier transitions. Hmm, I guess I should make a content warning…swearing, sex, plotting, and gratuitous sisterly banter. Yeah, that should do it.
Chapter One: A problem presents itself.
"What is it?"
"It's a vase."
"You sound fucking pretentious. I know what it is, but why is it?"
"It's an antique. You know, valuable, highly prized."
"You mean, it was a gift."
She sighed heavily, "Yes."
"And now you have no idea what to do with something so godsdamned ugly."
"Right."
"Give me a few days to think of something."
"You're a lifesaver, no, a sanity saver, Arya."
"I know. Just try to avoid looking at it for now; you don't want to strain your eyes. I'd say that you owe me for this, but honestly, you're doing me a favor, Sansa. I think I might have retinal scarring."
"I don't care if I end up owing you, so long as you find a way to dispose of this thing in a way that doesn't come back on me negatively. It was a gift after all, and I'm trying to make a good impression."
"I think whoever gave you that must not like you already, so why worry about impressions now?"
Sansa sniffed, "It's the principle of the thing."
"We're tossing 'principles' right out the window by planning the untimely demise of this antique piece of offal."
"Yes, well…certain principles must be allowed to bend in order to serve a higher cause."
"And our 'higher cause' in this case is?"
"You said it yourself: the preservation of my sanity."
"You're absolutely right; you can't afford to lose what little you have left," Arya nodded sagely, as if she were imparting a great piece of wisdom.
"Getting married is not insanity."
"It is when you're marrying Petyr Baelish."
"…your point may have a sliver of rationality, but love never did claim to make people sane. Quite the opposite, actually."
"Love does not excuse that abomination."
"Well, you'd best get cracking, then."
"It will be my absolute pleasure."