trufflemores can get me to write pretty much anything, if you couldn't tell.
Kurt stood still outside the door to his and Blaine's apartment, wondering what the hell he'd just heard in their living room. It sounded like a beached, dying whale had taken up residence on their floor, and they definitely didn't have that kind of floor space.
He unlocked and opened the door carefully, hoping he wasn't about to walk in on the weirdest possible home invasion. The sight he saw upon entering, though, was much less traumatizing, thankfully.
Blaine lay on the couch moaning in sorrow, clad only in loose sweatpants. One arm was flung over his eyes haphazardly, while the other was cradling his little puff of a belly, which looked a little more pronounced than usual.
"Are you okay, B?" Kurt asked, concerned. "Do I need to call an ambulance or something? I could hear you moaning from outside the door."
Blaine started a little on the couch, dropping his arm and tilting his head to give Kurt a pitiful look. "I'll be fine," he said (not super convincingly, in Kurt's opinion, but that was a moot point). "I just need to never move again."
"Did Tina hurt you somehow today, Blaine? I swear to God, if she forced you into something you didn't want, I'll kill her, upcoming wedding or no-"
"Baby. Tina did not purposely hurt me in the name of wedding planning today, I swear," Blaine said, looking fondly exasperated. "She needed a buddy for cake tasting since Mike's out of town, remember?"
"Yeeees," Kurt said, not really following. Cake tasting was an activity he generally associated with happiness and positivity, not agonized groaning.
"Well, this bakery doesn't just give little tastes of the cakes they're sampling for you," Blaine explained, pushing up on one elbow and getting a pained look on his face. "They give each person a whole slice."
"Still not seeing the problem here," Kurt said, mouth watering at the thought. Ooooh, do we still have some of that cheesecake from the other night in the fridge?
"Tina made us sample twelve flavors of cake today," Blaine said, and Kurt winced in sympathy.
"And now I understand why you're groaning," Kurt said, walking over to the couch. He picked up Blaine's legs so he had room to sit, draping Blaine's legs over his lap once he was comfy. "Is Tina actually crazy? Who needs to sample twelve flavors of wedding cake?"
"She only ate about four slices before she got too full. She made me eat the rest and give her detailed descriptions of the flavor," Blaine said, flinging his arm back over his eyes. "The debates we got into about adjectives and their meanings made the bakers give us odd looks. I thought one was going to call the cops and have us escorted out before we finished our session."
"Oh, honey," Kurt said, rubbing Blaine's legs gently.
"I feel like that kid from Matilda, you know, the one who was forced to eat an entire cake as punishment?" Blaine said. "I don't think I'm ever going to be able to eat dessert again. Hell, I might never eat anything again."
"Is there something I can do for you, sweetie?" Kurt asked, letting his hands just rest on Blaine's thighs. He was half-considering trying to avenge Blaine's honor by inviting himself over to Tina and Mike's place soon and rearranging her seating chart, but that probably wouldn't help Blaine very much right then.
"Could you grab the heating pad for me?" Blaine asked, hitting Kurt full-force with his big, golden, puppy-dog eyes.
"Of course," Kurt said, extracting himself from underneath Blaine and heading for their medicine cabinet. He found their heating pad quickly and hustled it back to Blaine, glad there was an outlet close to their couch so Blaine didn't have to move. "That feel good, B?"
"Oh God yeah," Blaine said, visibly relaxing into the couch. "I wish I would've thought to grab this when I was pulling my sweatpants on earlier."
"I have to earn my keep somehow," Kurt teased.
"I'd be sure to keep you around if you came here and spooned me for a while," Blaine said, a playful glint in his eyes.
"Well, if I have to," Kurt said, huffing out a sigh. He waited for Blaine to roll onto his side and scoot closer to the edge of the couch before clambering in behind him and pulling him close, hoping the arm he draped over Blaine's tummy felt more comforting than unpleasant. The warmth radiating from the heating pad felt good against his still-slightly-chilled skin - it was chilly for April. "You good now?"
"Very," Blaine said, sounding close to sleep. "Don't let me burn myself, mkay?"
"Never," Kurt said, kissing the back of Blaine's neck. He tucked his cheek against the top of Blaine's head and let himself relax, enjoying the solid feel of his husband. He'd probably have a face full of gel by the time he woke up from the nap he felt coming on, but it would be worth it.
Blaine always was.