Saturdays
Disclaimer: Oh yeah, I'm totally Brian and Mike. I'm also George Washington and Amelia Earhart.
A/N: Whew! I know, I know, I haven't updated in AGES. But I'm back! waits in vain for cheers that never come Sigh…well, anyway, I started this one a looooong time ago, about the time I wrote The Two-Way Mirror. But it was one of those stories that you start and at some point you just don't know where to go next. Anybody? Bueller? So, I let it go for…two months, maybe? And then I got an idea. At 11:30 at night. Take that for what it's worth. This is in the same vein as The Two-Way Mirror, so…beware. A cookie for anyone who can correctly guess the point at which this became a crack fic. And sorry for the novel-like Author's Note. I'm a writer. What can I say? shrugs sheepishly
"Can you believe the nerve?" Toph yelled in indignation, stamping her foot and causing a small earthquake.
Aang's wide grey eyes grew wider and he jumped onto an air ball, off the ground that was Toph's domain. "Well, it is Katara," he pointed out meekly.
Toph growled. "To suggest that—that you—and me—that we—" She sputtered angrily. "Like each other!" she managed to spit out.
Aang flushed a deep red, glad she couldn't see him.
"Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard??" She continued without heeding Aang's awkward silence.
"Uh—yeah, yup, uh-huh, totally nuts," Aang blurted a little too quickly, a little too nervously, as he fell off the air ball.
"Katara is so—" Toph stopped suddenly. Slowly she pivoted to face Aang again and stared towards him with such intensity he could swear she could see him. "You're lying," she said in surprise.
"No I'm not," Aang defended himself rapidly.
"You are." Toph dryly confirmed it.
Moron, Aang silently berated himself.
Toph took a step towards him. "So you—"
"I—" Aang didn't know what to say.
"So—"
"Katara—"
"She—"
With each word they stepped closer, till barely two inches of space separated them. Aang felt himself leaning forward, and Toph felt her eyes closing as she leaned forward towards the boy—
"OH MY SPIRITS!!" Sokka crashed through the bushes, swinging around his boomerang. He skidded to a stop between Toph and Aang as they leapt apart, startled. "WHAT THE FIRE LORD ARE YOU DOING??"
Toph and Aang were too stunned to speak, and managed only to blink.
"Well, you can't!" Sokka continued, pointing the boomerang at Aang, then Toph, then a rock. "You'll totally screw with the fan shipping bases, and it's way too early for that! And plus? You two are twelve years old! You simply aren't ready, physically or emotionally, for this kind of intimacy, especially combined with the uncertainty of your relationship. Toph, you're temperamental and in need of some anger management. Aang, you've already got a full plate with this Avatar business and all the people and situations, often thematic and emotionally trying, that go with it. You both are just entering into the unstable and volatile world of teenagers, in which you'll begin to notice hormonal changes in your brains as well as your bodies, potentially causing you to do things you'll later regret. You're at a tender stage in your lives, so before you commit to something this serious, you should really evaluate yourselves and decide if this is something on which you really and truly want to embark."
Aang and Toph stared at Sokka disbelievingly.
"What?" Sokka asked in confusion after a few minutes had passed this. "Do I have something in my teeth?" He furiously began scrubbing at his front teeth with a forefinger.
"SOKKA!!" Katara's enraged scream burst into the clearing at the same time she did. "This moment was deservingly sweet and romantic until you ruined it! What in the name of the spirits were you doing?"
Sokka sighed, looked from Aang to Toph and back again, facepalmed, and slunk off, his boomerang hanging sadly from his fingertips.
Hands on her hips, Katara watched until her brother was completely gone from sigh, and then spun around to face the two stunned twelve-year-olds. "Now then," she clasped her hands together, "where were we?" She took Toph by the shoulders and pushed her two feet forward, then grabbed Aang and did the same.
She stepped back, tapping her lips with her fingers. "Well, that's how you were, but…" She grabbed Toph's hand and positioned it on Aang's shoulder, put one of Aang's hands on Toph's hand and the other on her face, and moved them a little closer together.
Katara admired her handiwork and smiled. "Much better." She applauded herself briefly, and then patted Toph and Aang on the head and skipped back into the trees.
The preteens stood where they were for a dead silent three beats…and then jumped away from each other, laughing hysterically.
"I can't believe they fell for all that!" Toph crowed.
"Did you see their faces?" Aang giggled uncontrollably.
Toph sobered suddenly. "Katara, that didn't surprise me, really. But Sokka?"
Aang went silent. "Yeah, that was…weird."
"Wait, WHAT?" Zuko crashed into the clearing. "That was all an act?"
Toph and Aang glanced at each other. "Um, yeah," Toph confirmed, the two of them trying desperately not to laugh.
"Oh, Agni!" Zuko rubbed his temples. "I thought all this stupid shipping war thing was finally being cleared up! But nooooo, I still have to deal with—" He stopped suddenly, and his eyes grew wide as slowly he turned around, facing the way he came.
Sure enough, something was approaching. It sounded…it sounded like a stampede of rhino-elephants. "Spirits help me," Zuko whispered in terror, and bolted off.
Barely fifteen seconds later burst forth the stampede. But it wasn't rhino-elephants. It was worse.
Fangirls.
They thundered past, completely disregarding the Avatar and the best earthbender alive. They screamed Zuko-and-Name pairings as they threw panties in the air and waved "I Heart Zuko" signs around.
It was over as suddenly as it had begun. Toph and Aang stood, brushing themselves off. They looked at each other for a brief moment and burst into laughter again, giggling so hard they were unable to stand.
"Ahh," Toph sighed contentedly, wiping tears from her sightless eyes. "I love messing with people's heads."
Aang agreed, vigorously nodding. "Definitely." He squinted at the sun. "Not even noon," he noted. "Wanna prank someone else?"
Toph jumped up. "Oh yeah. Dare you to shave Haru's face. Without him noticing."
"You're on!" Aang leaped to his feet. "I love Saturdays!"
"Race you downhill!" Toph began running. Aang sprinted after her, still laughing.