Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, but I wish I did!

Summary: Usopp is the father of Merry. Yes, Merry as in the coolest ship EVER! This is the story of their life! One Piece AU!
Chapter 1: Merry is told a bedtime story. This is just a opener of sorts.

KittyLuffy: Hello! This is my first Fanfic ever and I tried hard on this first chapter. 0_0 I would also like to say that One Piece is totally Awesome!

Nami: Oh, hello. Where am I?
KittyLuffy: Oh My Gosh, IT'S NAMI! *Grabs Nami's hand and shakes*
Hello Nami!
Nami: Who are you?!
KittyLuffy: Just a random girl who loves One Piece!
Nami: What? You've found One Piece? *Ties KittyLuffy up*
KittyLuffy: What have I done?! Well, please enjoy reading about Usopp and Merry!

Chapter 1. The Bedtime Story of Merry

Once upon a time, there was a brave guy named Captain Usopp that lived in a small village in the East Blue. He always liked going through his town every morning, shouting, "The pirates are coming! The pirates are coming!" just to make everyone angry. He also liked visiting the girl, Kaya, who he had a crush on, everyday to tell her wild tales of his awesome travels.

One day, though, there was a terrible happening in the village. Kaya's servant, Klahadore, was actually a pirate captain named Captain Kuro! Kuro wanted Kaya's money and had been planning to attack the village for three years. Captain Usopp rushed to tell everyone that pirates were actually coming, but no one believed him. So, with his small army of six, Captain Usopp defeated Kuro's pirate crew and saved the village without any of the villagers finding out that there had really been any pirates.

Captain Usopp decided it would be best to leave his village with the older half of his crew: a stupid boy in a straw hat, a grouchy green haired guy with three swords, and a sharp-tongued lady who liked money too much. The stupid boy in the straw hat kept insisting he was captain, but Captain Usopp was just too brave and manly compared to him. This captain asked Kaya for a ship, since she was richer than he. She said yes and the Pirate Crew of four waited for a few days for a ship from Kaya.

One morning, while the four were eating, Kaya said it was ready. The four got up and followed Kaya to her house, anxious to see what type of ship they would be getting. But the smart Captain Usopp was confused to why they were going to Kaya's house instead of the dock and asked her so as they entered. She didn't answer and only led the four to her room.

Going over to her bed, she picked up a bundle of blankets and held it out to Captain Usopp. The brave Captain took the thing in blankets cautiously and found it to be a baby! Shocked beyond compare, Usopp looked at the child who couldn't be more than a few weeks old. It had fine white hairs starting to grow atop its head and dark skin the color of wet sand.

"This," he said to Kaya, "is a baby, not a ship."

"His name is Merry," Kaya said.

"But," the captain continued, "He is not a ship."

"Well, off you go," Kaya said, pushing them all out of the room, out of the house, out off the property and down to the dock where a small boat waited. Shoving the four in the boat Captain Usopp's crew had originally come in, she untied it from the dock and cast it off into the waves, waving good-bye and calling, "Take good care of Merry!"

Captain Usopp was stumped, but he promised Kaya that Merry would become as great a warrior of the sea as himself.

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"Daddy, is that really how I came to be with you?"

"Y-Yeah, Daddy would never lie to you, Merry."

"Of course it's not!" Usopp was hit over the head with a fist owned by the sharp-tongued lady who liked money too much. Nami was her name and she flipped a slightly longer section of her orange bangs with an unhappy sigh. "You just don't know when to stop lying, do you, Usopp?"

Usopp was fingering the growing bump on his head. "Well, it was sorta true."

"SORTA TRUE?! IT WAS TOTALLY A LIE!" Usopp and Merry both sweat-dropped as Nami had a fit. Once she had calmed down, she said in a dejected voice, "I own this apartment complex. I don't have you guys pay that much. I even come and watch Merry or make dinner two or three times a week. Why do you make me so angry when I'm doing so much good for you two?"

"Nami," Usopp said with a grimace at her scene, "you do make us pay a lot."

"YEAH, A LOT LESS!"

"Sumimasennnnnn…" Usopp apologized after he was hit on the head again. "Okay, Merry, time for bed."

"Awwww, really? Already Daddy? Can't Nami read me one more book or something?" Merry was five and knew how to use the cute factor to get what he wanted. Usopp ruffled his son's white mop of hair and shook his head.

"You need to go to sleep. You do know you start school tomorrow, right?"

"I know, I know," grumbled Merry, hopping into his twin-sized bed. Usopp went to turn off the light while Nami turned on the child's nightlight. "Goodnight," Merry called as the adults left the room.

"Goodnight," they whispered with smiles, shutting the door as they walked out into the small hallway of the apartment. The smiles came off immediately and the two stared at each other. Usopp decided to start the argument.

"You actually expected me to tell him where he actually came from?"

"In which sense? The mother sense or the origin sense?"

"The origin sense. You think I wanna tell my son that, when I was seventeen, I found him in a box next to a dumpster on my way home from a bar I was too young to be going to? Should I have told him that I was drunk and decided to take him home only because it was raining? Did you want me to say that I never wanted him, but the note that came with him said, "Finders Keepers, You're a Loser"?" Nami shook her head.

"No, no, no! All I was saying was that you shouldn't fill his head with such fantasies; it'll be bad for him when he enters school."

"He did fine in preschool."

"Well, let's just hope for the best." Usopp had been putting on his coat, readying for a tough night job.

"I'm off," he said to Nami, "Thanks for watching over Merry for me every night." Nami gave a little laugh. The argument was over.

"Sometimes, I wonder why I married that blonde pervert, I almost always end up sleeping on your couch nowadays." They both gave quiet laughs and Usopp left, closing the apartment door softly behind him.

Nami sighed, taking a scrunchie from her wrist and putting her hair in a too-short ponytail. She grabbed the magazine she had brought and sat down on the couch in the small living room with a blanket wrapped around her. She read until she fell asleep without turning off the tableside lamp.

Merry, who still lay awake even though the digital clock on his small bedside table read 10:09 PM, got up when he heard the rhythmic breaths of his aunt figure. He went down the small hall and over to her place at the couch. Merry took Nami's magazine and put it on the coffee table right in front of the couch. Then he put the pillow he had brought from his bed under her head. He straightened out her blanket and then nodded, approving his work. He then turned off the lamp and headed back to bed in the dark. He hopped back under the covers and fell asleep, his nightly job completed.

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KittyLuffy: I had fun with this! Please Review and whatever! Chapter two coming if people want it!
Nami: That first chapter was pretty cute. I'm in it too… So, tell me, where is One Piece?!
KittyLuffy: Oh no!