Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution.

This story is a parody on X-Men Evolution. I wanted to do a parody because my other fanfics aren't as fun, and this is lighter. Some things to know before you read this: there is alcohol in this first chapter, and yes, before you ask, in the scene where Scott and a drunk Logan are talking, I did steal a couple lines from the Family Guy Stewie Griffin movie. I will beusing lines from other stuff too, and I'll let you know. Please review my story, people! I would like to know what you think (just don'tbe too mean). I am saying now: if you give me a suggestion in your review, I might use it.

Chapter 1

Bobby Drake paced around his room, even though he was bored he was too stubborn to find anything else to do. When he walked to his window for the eighteenth time, outside he saw a swaying figure on the lawn of the X-Mansion. Bobby theorized it was just another drunken prankster come to put graffiti or something on the walls outside the mansion, and Logan would probably take care of him soon. That was what he thought, until he realized the drunkard was Logan.

Bobby's first emotion was shock, which soon progressed into laughter. After he composed himself, he darted downstairs to tell Scott Summers, the leader of the X-Men, about what he saw. He could tell by the scowl on Scott's face as he walked by in front of Bobby that he already knew about Logan.

"Dinner's ready," he growled to Bobby as he walked by. With a snicker, Bobby walked to the dining room and knew it was going to be a very interesting dinner.

Logan was sitting at the dining table between Sam Guthrie and Ray Crisp. The two boys would obviously rather be sitting somewhere else. Logan was drunk and ranting randomly about anything, his sentences rarely making a connection.

"You!" Logan shouted, turning to Sam. "You're from Kentucky? Cool…cool place…" Sam looked a little embarrassed and looked at the ground to avoid looking at the other students' eyes.

"And you…"with this Logan turned to Ray. "Man, you have weird hair! Did you dye it that way or what? Two different colors…where can I get hair like that?..." Ray didn't look that embarrassed but chose to ignore Logan. It didn't work, only making Logan ramble more. "Aaannd…weren't you like, a Moloch or something?"

"A what?" Ray asked, confused.

"Ya know, a sewer person, mutant dude. A Moloch, a Morocco, something weird? Oh yeah, a Morlock person. That's what they are, ugly freaks…in sewers…"

"Um, me? One of them? Ha, where did you get that?" Ray laughed nervously.

"Yes you were so! You were!" Logan shouted, with a strange look on his face that said he was just about ready to claw Ray's face off if the discussion went any further.

Scott had enough. He pulled Logan out of the dining room and into the living room.

"Cyke, why you got to do that? It's rude to the…other people. Not that I care…"

"You're drunk."

"You're sexy."

"Logan, you are setting a bad example for the other students. You have to go to another room, away from the kids, preferably until long after your hangover wears off sometime tomorrow." Scott ordered Logan.

"Whatever." Logan mumbled. But he obeyed and stumbled up the stairs.

Jean Grey walked into the room. "Are you okay, Scott?"

"No, I'm angry! Why would he come here drunk? What an idiot!"

"You should do something to calm your nerves, Scott."

"Yeah, I'm going to go watch 'House' or something."

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Mystique waited in a dark alley for the mutant she was ready to meet. It was Caliban she was meeting; she wanted him to find Destiny for her. She had to agree to pay him a huge amount of money; ever since he met up with Wanda Maximoff and she trapped him with her dumpsters, he had been just a little reluctant to come out of the sewers to scan for mutants on call.

"There you are!" Mystique said as she recognized him turning the corner. "I need you to find someone for me, it…it's, um…" She seemed a little distracted.

"What is it?" he asked.

"That's it! Your voice and the way you move! Could you stop moving all creepy-like?" Mystique shouted.

"NO, I can't! It's my thang."

"Did you say 'thang'?

"…yes. No who do you want me to find!" he asked, getting frustrated.

"Find the mutant named Destiny."

"No."

"Wait, what do you mean 'no'! I'm paying you a lot of money here!"

"I can't locate her, because she cannot be located."

"Well, duh. But why can't she found!" Mystique asked, getting very angry.

"I honestly haven't a clue." Caliban replied.