Disclaimer:
Himizu: You really expect me to have a disclaimer where I talk? (Sword point, rose whip, rei ki sword, and spirit gun were all aimed at the back of her head) Well, as I was saying, us authors do not posses any of the of the YYH cast, particularly Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara.
(Oar, bat, bug spray, wind punch, ice shards, yo yos, glass bottle, thunder arrow, and scary, dark hands hit the back of her head and neck)
Himizu: LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU SICK, SAD, TERRIBLE SIMPLETONS! THEY WERE THE ONES THAT THREATENED ME FIRST, SO DO NOT BLAME ME! OR I SWEAR I WILL RETIRE!
Co-authors: Really! Would you do that for us! These "souls with sorrow laden" because of your presence and writings, huh, huh, huh!
Himizu: (Glare) So you didn't like them, grrrrrr. By the way…KARASU YOU MORON, IF YOU EVER THINK OF TOUCHING ME AGAIN I'LL HAVE HIEI SEND YOU TO OBLIVIAN. IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU GIVE ME THOSE FREAKING NIGHTMARES!
Hiei: Stupid baka ningen, I never take orders, especially from you, profound idiot.
Ryouko: Sooooo, you dream about Karasu, huh! (Cough cough)
Karasu: What? Is it wrong to dream of such a beautiful complexion as my own? What is wrong with me, huh?
Ryouko: Please, don't even get me started…
Himizu: Karasu, you're not a dream, YOU'RE A NIGHTMARE! (Runs around beating Karasu with her giant mallet)
Kurama: Go on and love her in my stead Karasu! The End.
Himizu: (Totally pissed) I'll get you for this, Kurama!
Credits: Written by Himizu, with some help from Ryouko. Kitsune gave suggestions.
Typed by Ryouko.
Description and Rating: Once upon a time, Himizu was pissed, and who had to suffer for it? Everyone, of course! This is our story about how we were drastically changed, and our quest to try and get out of our feathered situation. We rate this fic PG, because there is honestly nothing drastic about this fic, just some cuss words and a few uncomfortable situations (To say the least).
Feathered Frenzy
Everyone who entered knew that it was going to be a bad day as soon as they saw Himizu sitting on the beanbag chair with such a dark scowl on her face, it was a wonder that the carpet in front of her had not burst into flames. She did not join in the conversations, only grunting when someone spoke to her. This, of course, made her the target of some ribbing from the others.
"Himizu must have her holidays confused. It's Labor Day, not Act Like Hiei Day," laughed Yusuke.
"I wonder where her black cloak and katana are," added Kuwabara letting out an unearthly bray.
"You really should snap out of it, Himizu, Hiei is going to get jealous!" teased Ryouko.
"Why would I be jealous at that moron?" Hiei grunted. For some reason Ryouko and Kitsune began to giggle.
"This is not like our super-sadistic, caffeine-addict co-author." Kitsune managed to gasp through her giggles.
Everyone was failing to recognize the danger signals. Himizu's eyes were glittering dangerously and her ears were turning pink. If someone had looked closely, they might have seen smoke coming out of them.
Even Kurama thought Himizu's bizarre and insanely silent state was amusing. He could not resist a jest of his own.
"Gee, first it's the unusual occurrence that no crazy giggling girls ask me for a date. Now Himizu is struck dumb. What's my third blessing going to be?"
As the people in the room roared with laughter, Himizu pushed herself to her feet. Her ears were now bright red with fury and her eyes were furious.
"Oh shut up, you bird-brained idiot moron freaks!"
Suddenly the room was full of smoke. When it cleared, Himizu, Ryouko, Kitsune, Kurama, Hiei, Kuwabara, Yusuke, Koenma, Botan, Yukina, and Keiko were gone. Instead, 11 birds were perched around the room. Standing in front of the beanbag was a mockingbird. Perched in Ryouko's chair was a falcon. On top where Kitsune usually leaned, was a nightingale. Sitting in Hiei's favorite corner was a kestrel, slightly smaller than others of its species. Standing where Kurama had been, near Hiei, was a red-tailed hawk. Koenma had been using his powers to float, and on the floor, below where he had been, was a distinctly ruffled emperor penguin. On the bed where the three girls had been sitting, there was a swan where Botan had been, an owl where Keiko had been, and a dove where Yukina had been. Next to the bed where the last two boys had been, there was a cockatoo where Yusuke had been and a kookaburra where Kuwabara had been. The birds all stared at each other. The cockatoo was the first to break the silence by flapping its wings, jumping into the air, and screeching.
"Himizu, you bird-brain! This is all your fault! Look at me, why don't you! I'm a freakin' cockatoo!"
The kookaburra laughed aloud. Putting its wing to its beak, it blinked.
"Did I do that? AHHH! I HAVE WINGS!"
"In case you haven't noticed, you idiot, we all have wings because we are all BIRDS!" The kestrel screamed the last word as it flapped its wings furiously.
"Well, that's definitely Hiei!" The mockingbird let out a trilling laugh. "And the kookaburra must be Kuwabara so Yusuke is a cockatoo." It laughed again.
"I wonder who the mockingbird is," the nightingale muttered sarcastically to the falcon. The falcon just shook its head, burying it beneath a wing.
"Is that an insult?" asked the mockingbird, who seemed in much better spirits than before.
"No, of course not Himizu," said the falcon, rolling its eyes. The mockingbird made a mocking bow in the falcon's direction.
"Oh, please accept my humble apologies Ryouko. I was under the impression you were making fun of my personality."
"My dear Himizu," Ryouko retorted back, "if you didn't understand, you are a mockingbird because you are easy to mock, not because you are mocking. But I completely understand if that's beyond your level of comprehension, so I will accept your apologies." She smiled while Himizu's feathers ruffled.
While this was taking place, the penguin had stood up and brushed itself off with its flippers.
"Oh, I knew it was a mistake coming here," it muttered, turning to Himizu, it cried. "How dare you turn the Lord of the Spirit World into a penguin!" It made as though to charge her, but could only manage the odd waddling gait common to penguins.
"Koenma-sama!" shrieked the swan, momentarily lapsing into her normal Japanese. The cockatoo that was Yusuke screeched with laughter.
"Botan, now you don't need your oar!" he cried. The swan glared at him, buffeting him over the head with one of her enormous wings.
"This is all very amusing," said the nightingale. "But what are we going to do about this situation."
"Ah, Kitsune, the voice of reason. And I'm sure you are the only one who wants to change the situation, because the rest of us all love being birds." Himizu's tone dripped with sarcasm.
"That still doesn't answer the question. What do we do?" asked the owl.
"WOW! Keiko asking a question other than 'where is Yusuke' or something along those lines!" exclaimed Kuwabara kookaburra. He winked at the dove cheekily, for who else could it be but his beloved Yukina. The kestrel known as Hiei barely restrained himself from jumping on Kuwabara and murdering him.
"Easy there Hiei. I just had my carpet cleaned and I don't need blood all over it," exclaimed Ryouko.
"Kurama, you haven't said a word," said Kitsune to the only bird that could possibly be Kurama, the red-tailed hawk. The hawk, which had been perched with both eyes closed, now opened one eye.
"I was applying my brain to the dilemma that the rest of you refuse to put your minds into solving. Instead, you divulge in trivial matters. I, however, am eager to disperse of this feathered form."
There was a silence. Only the authors, Hiei, and Keiko did not have a completely blank look on their faces. Himizu nodded.
"Of course, I should have done that long ago."
Yusuke and Kuwabara had large sweat-drops on their feathered faces.
"I think I know what you mean," said Kitsune slowly.
"Yeah, don't you mean that we should be thinking about how to get out of this?" asked Ryouko.
"Precisely. And I have formed a hypothesis concerning the cause of this dire predicament."
"WILL YOU TALK ENGLISH!" bellowed Yusuke.
"If you persist in insulting myself or my manner of speech, I will withhold my hypothesis from all of you," Kurama replied coolly, shutting his eye again as though to distance himself from everyone.
Keiko glared at Yusuke. "I thought you didn't like being a cockatoo."
"I don't!"
"Then you should shut your babbling beak and listen to what Kurama has to say!" Keiko owl admonished him sternly.
All of a sudden, a tiny gray squirrel wearing a black top hat, a purple bow tie, and carrying a little gold-topped cane danced into the room. The type of dancing was not unlike the style of Fred Astire. Hiei kestrel licked his beak and jumped forward.
"Stop, that's my pet!" screamed Yukina dove. Hiei literally stopped in midair, hovering for half a second before falling flat on his face in a heap. The squirrel ran to Yukina who immediately sheltered it with her wings. Hiei hopped backwards, sulking. He muttered darkly under his breath, his words only just caught by his best friend.
"Stupid ice maiden. If she weren't my sister, I would bash her head against the wall until she either got sense or her head was a pulp."
Kurama grinned. "Liar."
Hiei turned. "What did you call me?"
"A liar."
"Why?"
"Because you are. You know you adore your sister."
"About as much as I enjoy Himiuz's company."
"Oh come off it. You know you at least enjoy Himizu's prattle."
"Yes, I enjoy it so much, I just want to hug her around her neck, tighter and tighter."
None of the birds present had even heard a predatory bird laugh. They all jumped as Kurama hawk let out a screeching laugh.
"What is so funny?" asked Kitsune.
"N-n-nothing," Kurama gasped, trying desperately to stop his chuckles. It was all in vain of course. Hiei buried his head in his wings and sighed. Ryouko, Himizu, and Kitsune exchanged glances. Kitsune sighed. "Some things in life are sad."
"For everything else, there's Visa!"
"As I was saying," continued Kurama, slightly flustered from his loss of dignity, "I believe I understand the cause of this metamorphosis and how to remedy it."
"Why don't we just get one of the authors to use their author powers to change us back?" asked Yusuke.
"It doesn't work that way," Kurama began, but Kuwabara interrupted him.
"Come on, one of you crazy punk authors. Change us back!"
Ryouko flapped her wings in frustration. "I guess it'll have to be me won't it? I do all the work around here." She summoned her author power and tried to change them all back. Nothing happened.
"Let me try!" said Kitsune. She repeated the effort, but with the same result.
"Only Himizu can do it," Kurama explained. Himizu sighed and began to summon her powers.
"But…" began Kurama.
"Hush!" everyone hissed.
Himizu's powers seemed to be malfunctioning. They would flicker oddly, showing flashes of power. She sighed.
"I feel tired all of a sudden." She let her wings drop weakly.
"That's what I was trying to tell you!" Kurama cried. "She was in a fit of extreme anger when she turned us all into birds, thus her powers were higher than normal and were bound to come out. When they did, she let them out so quickly to do such a big task that she is left completely drained of her powers. It will be some time before they are fully restored!"
There was a brief silence as everyone tried to absorb the meaning from Kurama's torrent of words. Then the meaning set in.
"WHAT!" screamed Yusuke. "You mean I still can't get out of this body!"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!" cried Kuwabara.
"Because you morons wouldn't give me a chance to explain!" screamed Kurama, losing his cool for once.
"So," said Kitsune, quickly stepping in, "you're saying that only Himizu can change us back."
"Correct."
"But, her author powers have been drained, and it will be a while before she can regain her powers."
"Exactly."
Yusuke swore under his breath.
"But, we may be able to help the process along by aggravating her sensitive nature."
"Uh, English please," said Kuwabara after a moment.
"She might get her powers back faster if we tick her off," Kurama explained patiently.
"Why do you always talk like a textbook?" asked Kuwabara.
"Just because." Kurama's voice had suddenly become very soft and his green eyes, which looked odd on a red-tailed hawk, were narrow. Kuwabara recognized the danger signals and averted his gaze.
"I'm hungry," he exclaimed after a moment to break the silence.
"Congratulations," grumbled Hiei. "You can identify your emotions. Very good for a stupid ningen."
"Shut up, pipsqueak." Kuwabara screeched.
"If you're hungry, Kuwabara," said Ryouko teasingly, "you can go find one of those mice that have been in the pantry where my wonderful chocolate Elfudge cookies are. Go catch one of those."
"The mice, or the cookies?"
"The mice, you idiot! The cookies are mine!"
"I'm not eating any mice!"
"That's what kookaburras eat. So go catch a mouse, or sit here and be hungry, but no complaining."
Kuwabara crossed his wings and sat down for a quiet sulk.
"So you mean we get to make Himizu pissed?" asked Kitsune.
"Yes," replied Kurama.
"Could I be of service?" asked Ryouko with a VERY wicked grin on her face.
"Can I help?" asked Hiei, who was wearing a very similar grin.
"You're supposed to make me mad, not kill me," said Himizu with a giggle. Both Ryouko and Hiei snapped their talons in frustration.
"This could be difficult," murmured Botan to Keiko. "Himizu is in a much better mood than earlier."
"I just hope no one gave her Mountain Dew," Keiko replied, "or she'll be hysterical and we'll have to sober her before we can tick her off."
"What do you mean?" asked Yukina innocently. The two girls exchanged glances. Yukina and Koenma did not come often. Koenma, of course, knew about Himizu's caffeine addiction. It was his duty as ruler of the spirit world to know these things. But Yukina…? What should they tell her? Ryouko decided for them.
"Believe me Yukina, you don't want to know! You should've seen these girls' faces when I told them. They didn't want to know. Believe me Yukina, for the sake of your sanity, you don't want to know, so don't ask! That's an order!"
Yukina merely blinked.
"Oh come on Ryouko! Try to see it through my perspective instead of spending your life imaging Hiei falling head over heels for you….ahhhhhhhh!" yelled Himizu as Ryouko pulled out a machine gun. A falcon with a machine gun makes a very interesting spectacle indeed. Hiei sweatdropped violently. Ryouko fired a volley of bullets and blasted her window until not even a small piece of glass was left.
"Curse you Himizu. Look what you make me do!"
"Me, what did I do!"
"Honestly, you were born. But look at this! Now I don't have a window anymore!"
"Jeez Ryouko, why didn't you kill her?"
"I tried, Hiei, I tried."
"You seriously need to learn to aim."
"Well, I haven't had some hundred years to practice like you did, no da!"
"I don't know about you guys, but I would refrain from killing her until we're all safely back in our human forms," Kitsune stated.
"Fine. I can wait. The second I'm back in my human form though, BANG!"
Himizu considered Ryouko's statement. Finally, she said: "Well, no one said I was going to change us all back…" She stopped as the muzzle of the gun wedged between her eyes.
"Are you sure about that, Himizu, or would you like to reconsider? I still have some bullets left, you know."
Himizu sweatdropped. "Heh heh, uh, of course I'll reconsider, heh heh." Her weak chuckle died quickly.
Kitsune gently pushed the gun to the side. "Later Ryouko, later."
Ryouko sat down, still shooting glances in Himizu's direction. Whenever she caught Himizu's eye, she made the motions of shooting a gun. Himizu looked away and was immediately distracted by Koenma the penguin. He had spent the last so many minutes becoming accustomed to his strange new waddle. Having finally figured out how to maneuver his short legs, he screeched suddenly and charged at Himizu again. With a yelp of surprise, she jumped into the air, flapping her wings to get higher up, away from the lethal beak. She just made it, flapping her wings slowly to stay up, glaring down at Koenma. Again, Botan's shout pierced the air.
"Koenma-sama!"
"Give it a rest Botan, he's fine," grumbled Himizu. "And if he doesn't leave me alone, I'll never turn him back." A mischievous, dreamy smile appeared on her face. "I just saw an image. The Spirit World, ruled by an Emperor penguin." Her eyes were wistful as she enjoyed the sight only she could see.
"Do not mock the Lord of the Spirit World!" shrieked Koenma, whose rage was similar to the way Himizu's should be, if they could only tick her off.
"Make me!" she called back.
Ryouko, who had noticed Himizu's temper rise slightly when Botan yelled 'Koenma-sama' for the second time, winked to Koenma. He winked back and jumped as though trying to grab Himizu, who fluttered out of reach. When he fell to the floor, Botan swan cried,
"Koenma-sama!"
"SHUT UP!" screamed Himizu. She flew in front at Botan's face. "Shut up, do you hear me? If you say that again, I will hurt you so bad, you will wish you had never met me."
"There are many people that wish that, Himizu, don't be ashamed," said Ryouko falcon.
"And I'm sure you know a lot about the subject of people not liking you, Ryouko." Himizu smiled, waiting for an angry expression. However, she was surprised when Ryouko happily smiled back.
"Don't fret yourself. The only reason people don't hang around me is because they KNOW that you will probably be there also. Also, they might think I'm infected with Himizotis."
"Himizotis huh? Sounds cool! What is it?"
"Well, if you must know, it is a severe disease that includes being VERY slow, mentally insane, developing a frightening and absurd obsession for demented and ugly hockey players, no da. I would say something else, but I'm saving that as a last resort."
"And it is?" Everyone asked with curiosity and a tingle of hope. There was a moment of stressed silence and then…
"I'M NOT TELLING!" screamed Ryouko with satisfaction as everyone made a face fault.
Himizu, the only one who had been totally uninterested in what the "something" had been, scowled and said,
"Rick Nash is not demented OR ugly!"
"Matter of opinion, Himizu."
"Sure, but you don't need to express yours with such vehemence."
"All hockey players are demented and ugly with the possible exception of the Detroit Red Wings!" stated Kitsune.
"LIAR!" screamed Himizu. "Every hockey player in the WORLD is far more normal and handsome than any Detroit Red Wing!" She paused. "And the, of course, Rick Nash is far more normal and handsome and cool and awesome and wonderful than any hockey player in the world. He's also funny, amazing, an excellent player, ambitious, brave, cute…etc. etc. etc." Everyone put their hands over their ears as Himizu rattled off every adjective she could think of that described Rick Nash as a good person, although good was the biggest understatement of the year when one listened to her. She made Rick Nash sound like a god. While the group had been making progress in making Himizu mad, talking about Rick Nash was erasing all traces of anger and fury. What had started out as the road to making them human had turned 180 degrees and they seemed even farther from reaching their goal. Kitsune threw up her wings in frustration.
"Well, my idea's not going to work. You try, Keiko."
Keiko bravely took her wings from her ears and called above Himizu's prattle,
"Himizu, if you seriously think all those things about Rick Nash are true, than you are an idiot! And did you realize that I'm smarter than you?"
Unfortunately Himizu was totally oblivious as she chattered on and on about Rick Nash.
"Do you hear me Himizu!" shouted Keiko. "I said I'm smarter than you!"
"Very funny," laughed Himizu as she continued to rattle off praises for Rick Nash. She was now composing a poem about him, and everyone gave a joint moan of misery and long-suffering, clasping their wings even tighter against their ears. Now Himizu was reaching towards a can of Mountain Dew.
"Oh no!" cried Botan and Keiko together. Yusuke shot forward and grabbed the can a split-second before Himizu did. Tossing it to Kitsune, he flew up towards the ceiling to wait. Kitsune flipped the can to Kurama, who looked startled. This wasn't his style. But as Himizu came bearing down on him, instinct took over and he tossed the can into the air for Yusuke to catch. This bizarre game continued for ages while Himizu flapped from one to the other, shrieking insults like 'fiends', 'wretches', and 'Mountain Dew stealers'.
To this day, no one knows how a cockatoo, a nightingale, and a red-tailed hawk played catch with a MD can, but they cycled it between them several times before Yusuke caught it and flipped it to Kitsune, making a motion of opening a can. Kitsune got the message. As Himizu flew forward, Kitsune opened the can and Mountain Dew sprayed everywhere. The birds scattered except for Himizu, who greedily gulped the fountains. Keiko and Botan groaned together.
"To tell you that truth," Kitsune moaned, "I would rather listen to her babble about the Blue Jackets."
Ryouko shook her head. "Even this is better than that poem." Kitsune covered her eyes.
"You spoke too soon, here she goes again!" And indeed, a fully caffeinated Himizu was now rattling off praises and composing a poem for Rick Nash at a much greater speed with stranger and stranger results. Yukina looked confused.
"Does she do that every time she has a, how do you say, Mountain Dew?"
"Don't ask and don't come here again!" cried Botan.
"How can you say that to my beloved Yukina-chan. She is always welcome here!" cried Kuwabara.
"Not that that's not true, but…THIS IS MY ROOM!" yelled Ryouko. "And only I have the right to say who is and isn't welcome and can make changes anytime! So shut up or you will be BANNED, do you hear me, BANNED!" Hiei nodded approvingly at this statement.
"Kuwabara, I meant that she shouldn't come if she doesn't want her innocent soul tainted by Himizu's crazy caffeine addiction."
"Oh, that's ok then." And Kuwabara settled down to gaze at the dove that had, most unfortunately for her, captured his heart.
"Ugh, he looks like a sick puppy," Himizu chirped.
"No worse than what you look when you start talking about Rick Nash, I bet." Kuwabara retorted.
"Well, first we have to take into account natural ugliness, add in the degrees of puppy look on the face…all in all, I look a lot better than you."
"Ugh……."
"Let me guess, the only thing you understood was the part where I said I look better than you."
"Umm, yeah, that's about right."
"YOU ARE HOPELESS KUWABARA, HOPELESS I TELL YOU!"
"Keep it up Kuwabara, go, go, go!" cried Yusuke.
"What am I doing?" asked Kuwabara, totally bewildered.
"Being yourself."
Kuwabara thought about this for a moment before laughing hysterically. Himizu rolled her eyes.
Suddenly a gigantic pop-up with a dancing Sponge bob appeared. Ryouko flapped her wings irritably.
"I HATE pop-ups! Especially Sponge bob pop-ups!" The three authors raised their right wings and cried,
"Anti-Sponge bob! Down with Sponge bob!"
"What, the little sponge with pants? He is cute, ne?" Yukina blinked innocently as she looked at the pop-up. Kitsune gasped, Ryouko covered her ears with her wings, and Himizu's beak dropped and she gaped wordlessly, like a fish out of the water.
"He dances so nice, ne?" Yukina continued.
"ARE YOU NUTS?" cried Himizu.
"Don't you think he's cute?" Yukina asked.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND YUKINA! IT'S A TALKING SPONGE FOR GOSH SAKES!"
"What's wrong with that?"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!" Himizu was stunned.
"Yukina has a right to decide for herself what she thinks," Kuwabara stated.
"Shut up already, will you Kuwabara?" snapped Himizu. "You wouldn't be so quick to defend her if she said you weren't a bishounen. Which you're not, but that's not my point."
"What's wrong with me?"
"Put it this way. Kurama, Hiei, and everybody else are actually modern. They don't have mullets that were popular in, like, the 40's!" exclaimed Ryouko.
Kuwabara looked upset. "But….but I like my hair."
Authors: -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
"God help this idiot!" exclaimed Himizu.
"Are you making fun of me!" demanded Kuwabara.
Himizu's head looked like it had been submerged in water with all the sweatdrops on it. Flapping away from the still-glaring Koenma, she pretended to faint onto the desk.
"Quick, let's finish her off!" exclaimed Hiei.
"It's my turn to do the killing around here Hiei. Last time you sent me and Himizu to Hades with your black dragon. Now it's my turn to do the dirty work," proclaimed Ryouko.
"How was sending you two to Hades dirty work? Nobody even died!"
"Look, Hiei, I don't care if we didn't satisfy your sadistic nature! You are not making mockingbird flambé with Himizu! I am going to chop her up!"
"Says who?"
"Says me! And if you don't let me, I'll use my author powers to send you to one of Mrs. Ross's brain lectures."
"Pity the souls that have to go through that," said Himizu, who had been steadily slipping away since the threats on her life had started. "Not that Hiei has a soul to pity, or if he does, it's pure evil and doesn't deserve to be pitied."
"My soul could never be worse than yours."
"Look who's talking, the king of the Goths himself."
"And wasn't Ryouko telling me the other day that you wanted my Jagon and the three artifacts just so you could take over the world?"
"Uh, hello. Reality check here. It was your idea in the first place, no da. I'm just going to finish it."
"Oh really?" Hiei's voice was menacing.
"Yes indeed!" shouted Ryouko gleefully. Everyone started. "Hehe, sorry about that. It's just something from a show I watch…Carry on."
"Ok…" Himizu turned back to Hiei. "As I was saying, like yeah!"
"What makes you think you will succeed where I failed?"
"Oh, gee, let me think. Maybe it's because a) I'm smarter than you, b) I'm more evil than you, and c)…I LIKE HOCKEY!"
"That has nothing to do with the conversation," said Hiei.
"Ya' wanna' bet?" Himizu retorted. Hiei moved like lightening. In the space of two seconds, he tied Himizu to the bedpost and held his katana against her neck.
"Get mad and change us back or else."
"Or else what? I know you're not going to kill me, at least not until I've changed you back."
Cold steel touched the feathers on her neck. "Don't count on it." Hiei whispered. Himizu gulped while perspiration started to appear on her face. Hiei smirked.
"Uh, excuse me, Hiei, could you, er, take that away from my neck."
"Why should I?"
A tiny smile slid onto her face. "Because I can't change you back if my head's on the floor staring at my feet, no da."
Hiei glared murderously and moved the katana half an inch further away. Himizu lifted an eyebrow. Hiei moved his katana grudgingly another half inch. Ryouko's talons gripped the feathers on top of Hiei's head and she shook him violently.
"Move your stupid sword already! I told you, I'm going to kill her!"
Himizu sighed. "I feel so loved."
Ryouko coughed while saying 'NOT!'.
Kitsune finally took pity on Himizu and untied her from the bedpost. Himizu fluttered around, restoring circulation to her numb limbs and wings.
"I swear Hiei! You're worse than any Jason!"
Hiei blinked.
"Do you know what a Jason is?"
"Hn."
Himizu sighed, raising her wings as though praying for patience.
"Hiei, have you ever seen Halloween?"
"Hn."
"HIEI!"
Silence.
"Fine, I'll take that as a 'no'. Jason is the scary person in Halloween. He carries a chainsaw and wears a hockey mask." She paused. "How dare he dishonor hockey masks in such a way." Everyone glared murderously and Ryouko reached for her machine gun.
"Anyways," she continued, pretending not to see all this, "the Jason's like to come out during hayrides to scare people. It's freaky, but it's cool. Although their chainsaws are extremely loud and painful on the ears. They're annoying and extremely terrifying when they sneak up behind you and put the chainsaw right next to your head. But you, Hiei, you make the Jason's seem like sweet little puppies. You are pure evil. You make the Hulk seem like the Jolly Green Giant, especially when you take on your full demon form. Sooner or later, you're going to transform and run around chopping up everything and screaming 'Hulk must smash'. I'll say it again. You are totally evil!"
"I know."
"While we're on the subject of things that should not be allowed," Himizu added as Kitsune began to sing Bad to the Bone, "I would rather be trapped in a room with 20 Jason's than listen to Kitsune sing. On the other hand, I would hate to hear you sing, Hiei."
Hiei made a face. "I don't know whether to sing, which I hate, to annoy you, or keep silent and make you happy, which I also hate."
"Aww, Hiei, I didn't know you cared about me so much," Himizu replied with a smile. Hiei blanched and pretended to vomit.
"Now Himizu, what would Karasu think?" asked Ryouko.
"KARASU? What does that sick, gay, disgusting FREAK have to do with anything!"
"Have you forgotten so easily, Himizu? Such important things as marriage can't be so quickly forgotten, can they?"
"MARRIAGE! TO WHO!"
"Who do you think, you baka? Karasu, no da."
"KARASU? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND RYOUKO! You should know that the only one I would marry is Rick Nash, no da."
"No, but you are. Who would marry Karasu? And knowing that he was gay, no less."
"HOW DID YOU GET THAT SICK DISGUSTING IDEA INTO YOUR DEMENTED AND DERANGED BRAIN, YOU MORONIC, IDIOTIC FREAK!" screamed Himizu as she flew at Ryouko. Ryouko took off and Himizu chased her around the room several times, screaming insults the whole time. Both finally landed and Himizu continued to hop towards Ryouko.
"Only a stupid Israeli could have thought of such a stupid idea."
"And only a stupid American could have wanted to marry someone like Karasu."
"I DID NOT MARRY HIM YOU STUPID IDIOT MORON FREAK!"
"You forgot stupid ningen," murmured Hiei.
"I AM A NINGEN YOU FIRE-DEMON JERK!"
Suddenly the room was filled with smoke…again. There was also an accompanying explosion. As the smoke cleared, 11 humans could be seen in various sprawled positions on the bed, against the walls, or against the desk. Himizu lay flat on her back in the center of the room. She was breathing heavily and her forehead was beaded with perspiration. Her eyes darted about, looking at each person in turn.
"Wha…What happened?" she gasped. Everyone looked at her, each other, and themselves. Yusuke was the first to break the silence, yet again.
"Yahoo! I'm a human again!"
"I'm my handsome self again!" Kuwabara cried joyously. The three authors sweatdropped.
"Kuwabara, it's bad to lie," Himizu pointed out after a moment.
"Just as long as he doesn't start the lie about him being the toughest punk around and so on and so forth, I don't care." Yusuke laughed.
A mischievous glint had appeared in Himizu's eyes.
"So you're so much tougher than Kuwabara, Yusuke."
"Of course."
"Let's see then." And summoning some power that she had left, Yusuke was again transformed into a cockatoo. A furious cry tore itself from his throat. But Himizu was just beginning to have her fun. Yusuke seemed to lose control of himself. After flapping awkwardly, like a penguin that had just jumped off a cliff and was hopelessly trying to fly, he suddenly attacked Kuwabara. The sharp little beak was seeking Kuwabara's eyes. Kuwabara's screams of fear and horror echoed through the room. Himizu watched this display for several moments, a smile of satisfaction upon her features. Ryouko and Kitsune stared, torn between shock, horror, and amusement. Hiei was fighting to keep the corners of his mouth from turning up, but was not successful. The girls were laughing, with the exception of Yukina, who looked quite horrified. Koenma kept his face perfectly blank while Kurama looked away.
Finally, Himizu gathered her last remaining bits of author power to transform Yusuke back. While she was successful, many feathers fell from Yusuke's body. She lay back down, gasping for breath again.
"Phew. Better not attempt that again for a while."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"I did not hear that!" Kitsune cried. "Please say you didn't say 'again'."
"I would be lying."
"Ryouko, pleasepleaseplease ban her, at least temporarily."
"As much as I would like to, Kitsune, I cannot. You know she's responsible for one third of our fics."
"She can work from her home without wrecking havoc here."
"She has to help Hiei."
"Help me? How?"
"Wrecking havoc, no da."
Hiei glared. Himizu grinned at the ceiling before pushing herself into an upright position.
"Well, that was fun."
Everyone groaned.
"I'm never coming here again," moaned Koenma.
"Uh, Kuwabara, aren't there some demons we need to fight in China or something?" asked Yusuke.
"Wha…no, ooowww…Yeah! That's right!" He rubbed his kicked ankle tenderly.
"You try to leave us here and I'll set my black dragon on you!" exclaimed Hiei. Kurama nodded furious agreement.
"And Yukina and I haven't been to visit Genkai-sama for so long," added Keiko. Yukina blinked.
"Good," said Himizu with a smile. "We'll have some peace and quiet so we can write the next fic. It'll be ready by the time you're back!"
The YYH cast groaned yet again.
"Why," moaned Yusuke, "why did I ever let them lure me here with promises of money. The humiliation is not worth it!"
"How did I get talked into this?" growled Hiei, glaring at a grinning Ryouko.
"Gee, I wonder why they're looking at us," Kitsune said, smiling mischievously at Ryouko.
"We're so evil," Ryouko smiled back.
"Well, if you guys insist on staying, we do have another idea. We can always get started and improvise as we go…"
"Uh, no thanks! I better get back to the palace. Lots of papers to stamp, you know!" exclaimed Koenma.
"Koenma-sama, do you need my help?" called Botan desperately, following him. He nodded and they were gone.
As though nothing happened, Himizu continued.
"Let's see, in the first scene, Keiko can be lecturing Yusuke again. He gets mad as usual and decides to pinch her…"
Yusuke immediately perked up and Keiko, blushing furiously, grabbed Yukina's hand and moved to the door.
"Come on Yukina, Genkai-san is waiting."
"Uh, okay." Looking very confused, Yukina followed.
"Okay, change of plans. Instead of a Yusuke/Keiko scene, we can always do a Kurama/Hiei scene. I've always wanted to try my hand at lemon fics…" Himizu was immediately attacked and pulverized by Ryouko and Kitsune. Kurama and Hiei sweatdropped a lot and began edging towards the door.
"Okay, maybe a Yusuke/Kuwabara scene…" Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other. Ryouko and Kitsune stopped beating up Himizu, so the two boys fled.
"Hooray, they're gone!" cried Himizu, winking at her friends, she turned to Ryouko's computer.
"Do you want to glomp Kurama?" asked Ryouko. Kitsune nodded vigorously.
"Good, I want Hiei," stated Ryouko. Hiei and Kurama sweatdropped some more and fled after the other boys.
"Works like a charm." Ryouko stated joyously. Ryouko and Kitsune laughed and the three girls sat down to laugh and gossip, completely forgetting to work on new fics. All in all, it had been a very satisfying day, and why should they ruin it with work?
Author's Note:
Wanna' know the origins of this fic? If you have read our other fics, you'll remember that in one of them there was a mention where we all turned to birds and Kuwabara was attacked by Yusuke. Yes, that little addition got to be an entire fic. Go figure, right? Oh well. For once, I am not the villain of this story, but Himizu is! Muahahahaha! Though it's a lot of fun being the villain…Oh well, I'll get plenty more opportunities. What more can I say, this fic is random, dumb, and very weird. What more can people ask for?
Ryouko
Author's Note 2:She speaks the truth. (Nods wisely) Yep, it's so weird that one little random scene spawned an entire fic… a very weird fic, but still… although I have to say, it alarms me when I see the kinds of things I wrote three or four years ago… -.-() Anyways… yeah, I was the villain, bwa ha ha, although I think Ryouko had her moments. If you noticed, all the birds sort of relate to how the people really are… Keiko is smart so she's an owl, etc. Yes, that was on purpose. Kuwabara is a kookaburra because one of our Anime-challenged friends tried to read his name, and ended up saying 'kookaburra'. And the squirrel… I don't even know where that came from… Probably a random image that I just had to stick in there just for laughs. I think that covers everything that needs mentioned, so I'll sign off! Ja mata ne, minna!
Himizu