I wake up to cool, slender arms holding me. Initially I relax, enjoying the familiarity of this stranger's cold touch. Then the last 24 hours returns to me. I remember the car ride with Alice in our stolen car, the anxiety pushing her foot harder onto the gas pedal. I remember seeing Edward for the first time in months, his frosty skin glimmering as he stepped into the sun. I remember the Volturi, and the threats that would haunt our futures. Most importantly, I remembered the excruciating pain that had held me captive for the past several months since Edward left me.
As hard as it was to willingly leave his arms after aching for them for so long, I manage to jolt myself away from him. He moves with inhuman speed to reach out to me, but my arm blocks his advance. With questioning eyes he looks me over, trying to see if anything was I wrong.
"What is it, love? Did you have a nightmare?" He asks with such genuine concern in his eyes, I almost believe it.
"No, I didn't have a nightmare. But I feel like I'm having one now," I grumble. I push myself to the end of my bed, crossing my arms in front of me. No, not my bed, I realize. Edward's bed. I'm sitting in Edward's bed again. The open walls show me it's nighttime, I can see the stars through the breaks in the trees. I wonder vaguely how long I've been gone, and how much trouble I'll be in when Charlie finds out.
Edward moves from the bed without me noticing. When I look again, he's seated on the small sofa next to the bed. I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I'm sure I'm confusing it for pity. Of course he would pity me. That's just what I need right now.
"Bella, I'm so… words can't begin to describe how sorry I truly am." There it is. More pity. As if I hadn't received enough in the past months.
"It's fine. You can't control the Volturi's actions," I croak.
"You think I'm apologizing about the Volturi's actions?" His brow is furrowed in what seems like confusion, but what else could he be apologizing for?
"Is there anything else you're sorry for?"
His widened eyes let me know I've been mistaken, but I still don't quite understand. "I'm apologizing for leaving you, Bella. I never should have done that. I never imagined that any of this would happen." Great, more pity for me.
"You can't protect me from everything, Edward. I'm not your responsibility anymore," I breathe. The words feel like glass coming out of my throat. A painful gash that resurfaces all the pain I've endured.
He shakes his head, looking down at his folded hands. "You don't understand, do you? I'm apologizing because I never meant for you to get hurt. I left to protect you. You can't tell me you still haven't caught on?" he appeals. The blank expression on my face tells him everything he needs to know. "My God, Bella! I never meant what I said! I thought if I told you I didn't love you anymore, you would move on. I didn't think it would impact you so negatively. Humans don't react in the way you did, they don't feel as strongly as you do."
Now, I'm angry. How dare he try and belittle how I felt about him! "You're the love of my life, how was I supposed to move on when you left? How would that not impact me negatively? How would-" wait a second. Did he just say he never meant any of it?
I feel my jaw slacken, and I try to close my mouth. It opens again and again in utter disbelief. I don't know what to say. Maybe I heard him wrong. Maybe this is a trick. Maybe he's come home only to break my heart all over again.
"What do you mean, you didn't mean any of it? Why would you do that to me? Or did you mean you never meant any of it? It was all a joke wasn't it, the entire relationship?" My breath comes short now, I can feel my heartbeat quickening as my temper rises. What kind of monster is he! Doesn't he know I've suffered enough?
"Bella, my sweet love, you've got it all wrong… I love you. I loved you when I left, and I loved you every day after. After the incident on your birthday, I thought it was best to leave. I knew you wouldn't accept it unless you thought it was my decision, that we were over. I was such an idiot, to think that you would move on," he chokes. I can see his eyes beginning to pool, and I know that he's being genuine.
My temper fades immediately as the reality of his words settles in. Edward loves me. Edward loves me. Edward loves me. And he's here, and he's home, and it's perfect.
Words don't form for me, my hands do all of the talking. I reach out hesitantly, so eager yet so afraid that the copper hair I've been aching to touch won't exist. But it's there. My fingers tangle in the locks, and I relish in the sweetness. I'm touching his hair. Edward's hair.
My hands travel to his face, tracing every outline. The strong bridge of the nose, the high arches of the cheeks. The soft pout of his lower lip. This is my home. Words can't explain the bliss I feel in this moment. My heart is soaring in my chest, my soul feels ignited in his presence. The pain of the months prior is eased, and the whole in my chest is mended. A burning desire is filled as I drink in every detail of his being.
"You don't know how much I wanted to hear those words," I say, trembling under his touch. His arms are wrapping around me, pulling me closer. I feel tears make their way down my face, but for once, I am not sad. "You can't ever leave me again."
"I won't," he promises, and I know he means it.
Life is not perfect. The Volturi meant every word of their threat. Charlie will surely ground me until I'm thirty when I finally go home. Jasper and I will have to make nice. I will have to explain to Jake what happened, and hope that he can forgive me. Life is not perfect, but this moment is. My soul feels replenished, my heart is full. Edward is home, and I am whole.
"I love you, Bella Swan. Never again will I leave you."