Blind Spot TWO

by Patcat

Some missing scenes

BLIND SPOT 2 Missing Scenes

Bobby stared through the one-way window at Declan Gage, his reflection distorting the image of his mentor. He wondered if Gage knew his daughter had tortured and murdered three young women and nearly killed another. He wondered if Gage did know if the older man would care beyond the clinical interest that led him to suggesting the use of his daughter as bait. And Bobby wondered if he was staring at his own future.

"Goren." Ross' voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Yes, Sir." He turned to face his Captain.

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

Bobby stared at his shoes. "Not much…and most of it was at the hospital…" He smiled weakly. "I may have gotten a little when I was in the shower this morning…"

Ross gave him a vaguely sympathetic look. "It's late…go home…get some rest…I'll get the booking taken care of…I'll tell Gage about his daughter…"

Bobby returned his attention to Gage. "I think he may already know…I should talk to him…"

"No," Ross insisted. "You've done enough…gone through enough…Go home…get some rest."

Bobby briefly considered protesting. "Ok," he finally said. "Thanks, Captain."

"I will need you tomorrow morning, if you feel up to it," Ross said quietly.

Bobby nodded. "Yes, sir…I'll be here."

He tried to avoid the eyes of the rest of the Major Case Squad as he gathered his binder from his desk. He turned just as Gage was led from the interrogation room. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Bobby was surprised when Gage looked away first.

"Disappointment," Bobby thought. "He saw how disappointed I am with him…Or maybe…he's disappointed with me…"

He felt the eyes of the Squad bore into his back. "Disappointment…everyone…" He walked quickly to the door; he thought he heard Gage's voice calling after him. "Bobby."

"I can't," Bobby thought. "Not now…I can't…" He plunged through the door, saw the elevators were busy, and ran to the stairs. He had reached the seventh floor and his knee aching when he realized no on was pursuing him. He leaned against the stair well walls.

"Alex," he thought. "If only I could talk to Alex…I need to call her family…Let them know we caught…" He swallowed. "How do I tell her family…tell Alex…that she was tortured and nearly killed by the daughter of my mentor…teacher…A girl…woman…I thought of as a…friend…sister…and that she targeted Alex…because of me…" He staggered to the stairs and sat heavily on them. "I have to call," he thought. "It's my responsibility." He pulled out his phone and dialed the number of Alex's father's cell.

"Bobby…It's good to hear from you…How you doing?" Mr. Eames' voice sounded tired and relieved.

"I…I'm fine, Sir. How's Alex?"

"She's great…great…She's hungry and complaining about the food and coffee…And she wants to know when she'll see you again…"

"I'll be there soon," Bobby said. He took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you…let her know…She's safe…We caught…the person who did this…"

"Who was it?" Bobby heard Mr. Eames' jaw clench. "Who's the son-of-a-bitch who did this to my little girl?"

Bobby wanted to rip out his own heart. "Me," he thought. "I did this…"

"Tell Alex," he said. "It was Jo…and I'm sorry…so sorry…" Bobby choked.

"Son? You all right?" Concern replaced Mr. Eames' anger. "Alex is worried about you…she says you haven't gotten any sleep…"

"It's too complicated right now, Sir…" Bobby thought he might explode. "Just tell her…let her know she's safe…I…I'm sorry, Sir…I can't…I'm sorry…please…" He shut his phone, turned it off, and dropped his head.

After a few moments, Bobby dragged himself to his feet and began the walk to the subway. He was grateful that he didn't have to go through the parking garage; Alex's car had been towed away, but crime scene tape still marked where it sat, and blood stains from the unfortunate young woman whose body had been stuffed in its trunk still spotted the concrete.

The subway was nearly empty at the late hour. Bobby found a seat in the car closest to the conductor and tried to disappear. He usually studied the other passengers, enjoying the game of trying to determine their occupations and lives, but tonight he was only aware of what his fellow travelers might be thinking of him. Only a handful of people dotted the car, and few of them acknowledged his existence; those that noticed him appeared to have some difficulty reconciling his expensive suit with his stubble and exhausted, pained eyes. They erred on the side of caution, avoiding Bobby's eyes and moving away from him. "I can't blame them," Bobby thought.

Bobby's stop was the last on the line, and he was the only person in the car as it neared its destination. He stretched his legs across several seats and his arms across their backs. He watched as the lights of houses swept past him. "All these people," he thought. "Do they think they're happy and safe? Do they know or worry about the monsters? Are some of them monsters?" The train jerked to a stop; Bobby grabbed his binder and moved into the night.

The hospital was a few blocks from the subway stop. An earlier thunderstorm had broken the heat and humidity, and the air was pleasant for his short walk. Bobby heard the distant rumble of thunder and saw a flash of lightening across the far sky.

"Another storm," he thought. "Maybe it'll finish washing everything away…"

He reached the hospital parking lot and crossed the glistening pavement. He hoped that the Eames family had departed for the evening. The prospect of facing their questions, or worse, their gratitude, was not a pleasant one. Bobby's head was down as he entered the hospital, so he didn't see the familiar figure approaching him.

"Bobby."

Bobby's head shot up; he was nearly face to face with James Deakins.

"Sir." Bobby snapped to attention. "How is she?"

Deakins studied Bobby carefully. His suit was slightly rumpled, but clean. He stood straight and his expression was placid, but his eyes were exhausted and surrounded by dark circles. His body quivered with tension and lack of sleep.

"Alex was right," Deakins said. "She told me you looked worse than she does."

Bobby smiled wanly.

"She's good," Deakins continued. "She's sleeping…her family is getting ready to leave." He saw the shadows in Bobby's eyes. "C'mon…I'll buy you a cup of lousy coffee…"

Bobby nodded. "I'm really not up to facing them…Thank you."

The two men sat in the nearly abandoned cafeteria.

"It's not too awful," Deakins said as he examined his cup. "If you put enough cream and sugar in it."

Bobby stared into the depths of his coffee. "Just the way Eames likes it." He rested his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands.

Deakins reached across the table to place his hand on Bobby's arm. "Bobby…This wasn't your fault…You are not responsible for this…"

Bobby looked up at him, and Deakins nearly winced at the pain in the younger man's eyes. "But…but…it is…Didn't Alex tell you? Jo…" He swallowed. "I didn't see it…I practically lived with them for six months…It was the closest thing to a family…I'd had in years…and I didn't see it…"

"Bobby…Even you…as good as you are…and you're the best I've ever seen…You can't predict everything…Solve everything…You can't save everyone…"

"Captain…Sir…I'm sorry…I…" Bobby placed his hands over his eyes.

"It's ok, Bobby…This is not your fault…" Deakins gripped Bobby's arm. "Alex told me a little…Everyone has blind spots…I had Frank Adair…"

Bobby dropped his hands. "But…it didn't…"

"Bobby…He killed two people…One with his bare hands…I couldn't believe it…It's understandable that you didn't see it…It sounded to me like Gage was trying to manipulate you…and no one suspected Jo…you were probably the only one who could have seen her as the killer…" Deakins thought that Alex Eames wasn't the only victim of Jo Gage's torture.

"I…I don't know," Bobby whispered. "How am I going to tell her family…Alex…Alex…I'm supposed to protect her…and I…she was a target because of me…"

"I know," Deakins said gently. "He used you…to try to redeem his reputation…But you've always kept your humanity…I never had to worry about you thinking about your own glory or reputation…You never lost your sense that the victims…the perps…were human…If anything, I had to worry about your getting too involved…too far inside their heads."

"He…" Bobby clutched his cup so tightly that Deakins feared he might crush it. "He wasn't always like that…the work…the work was what mattered to him…He wanted the people he trained to be the best…but…but I didn't see what he did to Jo…I…I realize now that Jo and I were competing…for his attention…but I thought…I thought she was this amazing girl who had this amazing father… I thought it was the kind of family I wanted to have…I couldn't see…that what he was doing…was making her…a killer." Bobby stared at his hands. "Why…why am I…why…"

"Bobby," Deakins said quietly and intensely. "You know there's no answer to that. I've thought about it for years…and I know cops who've dealt with this for years…None of us knows why one person goes one way and another the other way…Maybe it's just having one person who makes a difference…Maybe in your case, even with all of her troubles, it was your mom." He shook his head. "Or maybe you just have some emotional and moral gyroscope…I don't know. What I do know is that you're a great detective…and a good man who's fought his demons and won."

"Thank…thank you, Sir," Bobby said softly. "That…that means a lot…coming from you…" He stared at the table. "But I still don't know what to say to…to…" Fear flashed across his face. "Oh, no…"

Deakins turned in his chair and saw John Eames approaching them. "Don't worry, Bobby," he said.

Bobby started to stand, but Mr. Eames waved him down.

"This boy is something, Jimmy," he said, nodding to Bobby. "Stands up every time we meet, calls me "Sir", shows me more respect than my own kids." Mr. Eames smiled at the two men and sat at an empty chair.

"How is Alex?" Bobby asked with an edge of anxiety.

"She's good…she's a tough little girl…always was the toughest of my kids." He shook his head in wonder. "She's refusing to go to sleep until she sees you."

"I…I don't want to intrude," Bobby said.

"The boy doesn't know he's part of the family," Mr. Eames said to Deakins, who saw Bobby flinch. "Don't worry," Mr. Eames said to Bobby. "The horde has left for the evening…and the nurses like you…"

Bobby seized the opportunity for escape. "I should go to her room."

"Of course," Mr. Eames said. "But…tell me…this thing that hurt her…when I told Alex that it was "Joe"…" Mr. Eames spat out the name, and Deakins saw Bobby wince. "She got very quiet…wouldn't say a word…"

Bobby desperately looked at Deakins.

"Bobby," Deakins said quietly. "You go see Alex…I'll fill John in on what's going on…"

Bobby looked at him with gratitude. "Thank you, Sir….I'll be in touch…" He scooped up his binder and jacket.

As Bobby left the cafeteria, he glanced back at Mr. Eames and Deakins. Mr. Eames suddenly spun to stare in Bobby's direction.

He quickly entered the elevator. "I'd better get up there," Bobby thought. "Before her father bans me…"

He was prepared to fight the nurses, but they waved him past their station. "She's doing well," one said to him. "But she won't consider going to sleep until she sees you…and she's very tough and stubborn."

Bobby smiled. "Don't I know it."

He hesitated in the doorway of her room. She lay with her eyes closed, looking almost as pale as the sheets. The machines blinked and beeped reassuringly, and she was no longer on oxygen. Alex looked small and fragile and vulnerable and Bobby's heart shattered.

"I did this to her," he thought.

She stirred, blinked, and smiled at him. Bobby felt as if he were the smallest man in the world.

"Hey," she said. "You sneak in?"

He stepped into the room. "No, they let me in…" He shivered; the room seemed very cool.

"Air conditioning," Alex said. "They keep it high."

Bobby dropped his binder on a table and slipped his jacket on. "You warm enough?"

"Yea…I'm fine," Alex answered. "I actually feel pretty good…." She shifted carefully on the bed. "You look a little better…You get any sleep?"

"A little," Bobby answered. He didn't tell her that most of that sleep came in the chair near her bed.

"I…I'm sorry it was Jo," she said. "That…it must be awful for you."

He stood, one large hand rubbing the back of his neck; Alex feared he might run away.

"It's not your fault, Bobby…"

He couldn't look her in the eyes. He wavered on his feet, and finally fell into the chair.

"She…wanted her Dad's attention," Alex said thoughtfully.

"Yea," Bobby said. "That's why she killed the first two girls…but when she saw the attention Gage gave me…that's when she fixated on you…" He leaned forward in the chair. "But it was about more than just getting attention…The third girl…oh, God, Alex…I can't remember that poor girl's name…Jo didn't have to kill her…torture her and dump her body…She…she was enjoying it…the killing…"

"She would've killed again…" Alex shivered.

Bobby nodded. "Gage raised his own classic killer."

"How's he reacting?" Alex asked.

"I…I don't know…I got the confession…Jo just told me…as calmly as if describing a trip to the store…and I got out of there…" Bobby slumped back in the chair. "And I'm not sure if I care how Gage feels…He used me…wanted to…He doesn't care about you, beyond the fact you'd give him more information about this killer…"

"I know." Alex had no sympathy for Declan Gage. "I saw what he was doing to you…of all people…he should've known what you were going through…and he just wanted you to save his reputation…"

"Oh, God, Alex." Bobby sat with his head in his hands. "I trusted him…for a while…Dec and Jo…They were like a family…and he was willing to abandon you…" Bobby choked.

Alex desperately wanted to reach him, to hold him and tell him everything was all right. "Bobby," she said forcefully. "C'mere…by my bed…c'mere…"

He stumbled from the chair to stand by her bed. She grabbed his hand. "You are NOT Declan Gage…You are too good a man…You are not him any more than you are John Tagman or Wally Stevens or your brother or your father…"

Shaking, Bobby stared down at her. His legs buckled, and he fell heavily on his knees. As much as she could, Alex reached for him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I should have protected you…I should have known." He murmured into her arms.

"Bobby," she whispered as she stroked his head. "You expect too much…How could you know?"

"Jo…To show a kid…those pictures…talk about his work…Other profilers…anyone who does this…They keep their work as far away from their families…but…I didn't see…" He looked up at her. "I didn't have a lot experience with…a real family."

"How long were you with them?" She was calm and logical.

"Maybe…six months."

"And did you really live with them?"

"No…but I saw…worked with him every day."

"How often did you see Jo?"

He raised his head. "Maybe…once a week…"

"And she was trying to impress you…a teenager…and you were a handsome young solder who paid some attention to her…Bobby, she showed you her best side…you couldn't have known."

He slipped from her arms and, carefully avoiding the wires and tubes, moved back to the chair.

"And how often have you seen either of them in the past few years?"

"Like I told Ross…I hadn't seen Gage in ten years." Bobby stared at the wall. "He wanted me to join the FBI…his team…He didn't understand that I had to be near my Mom…" He stared at Alex. "He…he didn't understand…He was willing to sacrifice anything for the work…Anyone…"

"And how often did you see Jo?" Alex asked gently.

"Rarely. I went to her college graduation. I remember…telling her that she shouldn't try for the FBI just because of her Dad…I hadn't seen her…for…" His voice was calm; his eyes, still filled with pain, were clear. "Gage thought I was wasting my time with the NYPD…He kept trying to recruit me…He finally gave up… I wrote a couple of letters…emailed him…but there wasn't any answer. I figured that he…he gave up on me…" Bobby smiled weakly. "I know what that feels like."

"So," Alex said, settling back on her pillows. "You thought…maybe he was making amends…I knew you were glad to see him…"

Bobby leaned forward. "Yea…Alex…please understand…He was so good to me…He was one of the first people…to recognize…believe…I had talents…to praise me…I was so glad when I saw him…It's why I didn't pick up the vibe from Jo…And what little I knew about Jo…it came from him…I didn't catch the tension between them…and then Ross stepped into the mix…"

"Ross shouldn't have given you such a hard time…I let him know that when he visited me," Alex said sharply.

Bobby smiled at her. "And how did he take his first takedown from Alex Eames?"

Alex returned the smile. "Pretty well, actually…He's impressed with the way you handled this…"

"I…I met with Gage," Bobby admitted. "I thought I owed him that…and that he might be able to help us…But I realized…He was looking for me to redeem him…and then…when you…" Bobby shivered. "I met with him again…and he…just dismissed you…told me you were dead and I had to move on…" Bobby looked at Alex. "The Declan Gage I knew…He wasn't like that…I swear to you Alex…but the Sebastien case…Ross was right…Gage made a mistake…a big mistake…And he couldn't admit it. He asked me to help on that case…It was one of the last times I had contact with him…I couldn't leave here…and when I suggested he might have made a mistake…he wouldn't listen to me."

"What you told me about him," Alex said. "I wanted to like him…but...the way he pushed in…the way he treated you…and Jo…I didn't like it."

"You've always had good instincts," Bobby said. He studied her. "Are you ok? You need some rest?"

Alex shook her head. "It's good to talk about it. Nobody else will talk to me about it."

Bobby moved the chair closer to her bed and reached for her hand. "You can tell me…as little…as much …as you want."

"She confessed…there won't be a trial?" Alex asked.

He tenderly rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "Yea…she confessed…I don't think there will be a trial…Unless she wants to publicly humiliate her father…She'll probably get time in a psychiatric unit…where her father will try to interview her…" Bobby gave a short, bitter laugh. "But we've got physical evidence linking her to the murders and your…" He saw Alex shudder. "I'm sorry."

She stared at their hands. "I…I just feel stupid…I've handled big, brawny guys three times my size…and she took me out…"

"She knows, Alex…she knows how serial killers work…how they get their victims." Bobby willed Alex to look at him. "But you were the factor she didn't plan for…she didn't know you…didn't know you were so tough and smart…"

"Thank you," Alex said softly.

"How…how are you? Really…"

"I got a concussion." Alex knew Bobby was more concerned about her mental than her physical state, but it was easier to start with her body than her head. "But my vision is fine and my head hurts less each day. My wrists have some nasty cuts. My shoulders and arms are the worst…I've got some pulled and torn muscles…I'm not going to get called up as a pitcher by the Yankees soon. But I'm going to be ok."

"And," Bobby asked softly. "Inside your head?"

Alex stared again at their hands. "It's…I think the meds help a lot…There are these shadows…"

"I know," he said gently. "You're not a great admirer of counseling…but you really need to talk to one…and the department will make you before…"

He realized suddenly and terribly that she might not want to come back.

Alex squeezed his hand. "I'm talking to you…doesn't that count?"

"I…I'm afraid not," Bobby answered. "I don't have the qualifications…and I'm a little too close…and emotionally involved."

Alex sighed. "Ok, if I have to see a shrink…I'll see a shrink."

Bobby's heart took a small jump. She was coming back.

"But I bet they'll want to talk about my partner." She smiled. "Don't worry, Bobby…I'm coming back…and you're my partner." She yawned and winced.

"Are you ok? Should I call someone?"

Alex looked up at Bobby. His eyes were dark and warm and full of worry. "I…I'm fine…just a reminder from my body."

"I should go," Bobby said. "Let you get some rest."

Alex stared down at her covers. "Uh…Bobby…could you…please…"

"You…you want me to stay?" he asked in wonder.

"I know…you're tired…but could you…just until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," Bobby said. A wave of relief swept over him. She trusted him; she needed him; she wanted him.

She yawned again, and Bobby knew she was approaching the limits of her strength. He gently squeezed her hand.

"I'm sorry, Alex." His voice was soft and gentle and tender. "Thank you…for listening to me…talking to me…for being my partner…my friend."

She smiled at him. "You'll have to fight the nurses."

Bobby smiled at her. "I'll use my considerable charms."

There was a brief skirmish with the night nurses, but Alex and Bobby sensed it was more for show than reality. Bobby sat quietly reading in the chair; he thought Alex was asleep until he heard her soft voice.

"Bobby?"

"You should be asleep," he said.

"You're not Declan Gage…you'll never be him."

It took him a moment to trust his voice. "If I'm not like him, Alex…you're the reason."

He stayed through the night and watched her sleep. When the nightmares came, he held her hand and spoke gentle words of comfort until she fell back in deep, dreamless sleep.

The END