Title: Grapefruit Diet
Author: Luke427
Rating: G very silly
Spoilers: Legacy
Warning: Crazy lyrics ahead.
Summary: Daniel's doing weird stuff again.
Colonel Jack O'Neill walked down the halls of the SGC in a blissful state of happiness. His reports were all done and he could finally go home. It had been a tough week and Jack was ready to relax with a bottle of beer and a nice game of hockey. There was only one thing he was missing...a certain archeologist to share it with. Jack was on a mission to drag Daniel home with him and make sure he used their days off for fun.
//He has always got his nose buried in some translation. It seems like he never has any fun anymore//
As Jack headed toward Daniel's office, he heard strange music. There was a blaring of horns and then suddenly swing music started up. //Hey! It's that song "Zoot Suit Riot"! I love that song.// Jack hurried closer to Daniel's office straining to hear the words.
Who's that waddlin' down the street?
It's just me, 'cause I love to eat
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!
Every picture of me's
Gotta be in aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
There's just one thing left to do-
//Wait a minute...those aren't the words to the song. What is Daniel listening to? The music is for "Zoot Suit Riot"//
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Might seem a little severe
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear
Blow Fatty!
Jack started to laugh. The song was really funny! As he got closer to Daniel's office door, he cracked it open and peered inside. Daniel was dancing around, but at the same time straightening up his office. //Wow, he's a pretty good dancer//
Well I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When I'm all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Can't have another eclair
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I gotta dcrease my derriere
I'm on a grapefruit diet!
I'm on a grapefruit diet!
I'm on a grapefruit diet!
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. Cheese Nacho
Stay away
Oh I think I'd sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
when I put on my belt
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Lay of the 3 Musketeers
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Eat em till their coming out of my ears
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Cause I haven't seen my feet in years
When the song finally ended, Jack couldn't take it anymore. He burst into the office, laughing hysterically. Daniel yelped and dropped the three textbooks he was holding.
"Jack! Were you there the whole time?" Daniel ran to his cd player and shut it off.
Jack stopped laughing long enough to get out a "yep."
Daniel watched his friend and finally joined in the laughter. When the two men finally stopped their hysterics, Jack asked who had been doing the funny parody of "Zoot Suit Riot."
"Oh. That was Weird Al Yankovich. He does parodies of lots of famous songs. We could drop by my apartment and pick up his other cd's before we head over to your house."
Jack looked at Daniel in surprise. Daniel caught the look. "Well, that is why you're here now, isn't it?"
Jack laughed. "I gotta stop being so predictable."
Daniel turned out the lights and headed out the door. "You coming?"
"Yep."
"Hey Jack, I've been trying to make up my on parody. Actually it started when I was locked away in that padded cell. Listen:"
"I'm going crazy at SGC
I'm so bonkers I just can't see
That my friends have put me away
When I get out I will make them pay."
"What do you think, Jack...Jack?"
Jack's groan could be heard all through the SGC.
The End
I know this story was silly, but I couldn't help my self.
Notes:
GrapeFruit Diet is a parody of Zoot Suit Riot written by Al Yankovich from his album Running with Scissors. Daniel's parody was one I made up that is off of Bittney Spear's Drive Me Crazy.
Author: Luke427
Rating: G very silly
Spoilers: Legacy
Warning: Crazy lyrics ahead.
Summary: Daniel's doing weird stuff again.
Colonel Jack O'Neill walked down the halls of the SGC in a blissful state of happiness. His reports were all done and he could finally go home. It had been a tough week and Jack was ready to relax with a bottle of beer and a nice game of hockey. There was only one thing he was missing...a certain archeologist to share it with. Jack was on a mission to drag Daniel home with him and make sure he used their days off for fun.
//He has always got his nose buried in some translation. It seems like he never has any fun anymore//
As Jack headed toward Daniel's office, he heard strange music. There was a blaring of horns and then suddenly swing music started up. //Hey! It's that song "Zoot Suit Riot"! I love that song.// Jack hurried closer to Daniel's office straining to hear the words.
Who's that waddlin' down the street?
It's just me, 'cause I love to eat
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!
Every picture of me's
Gotta be in aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
There's just one thing left to do-
//Wait a minute...those aren't the words to the song. What is Daniel listening to? The music is for "Zoot Suit Riot"//
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Might seem a little severe
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear
Blow Fatty!
Jack started to laugh. The song was really funny! As he got closer to Daniel's office door, he cracked it open and peered inside. Daniel was dancing around, but at the same time straightening up his office. //Wow, he's a pretty good dancer//
Well I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When I'm all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Can't have another eclair
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I gotta dcrease my derriere
I'm on a grapefruit diet!
I'm on a grapefruit diet!
I'm on a grapefruit diet!
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. Cheese Nacho
Stay away
Oh I think I'd sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
when I put on my belt
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Lay of the 3 Musketeers
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Eat em till their coming out of my ears
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Cause I haven't seen my feet in years
When the song finally ended, Jack couldn't take it anymore. He burst into the office, laughing hysterically. Daniel yelped and dropped the three textbooks he was holding.
"Jack! Were you there the whole time?" Daniel ran to his cd player and shut it off.
Jack stopped laughing long enough to get out a "yep."
Daniel watched his friend and finally joined in the laughter. When the two men finally stopped their hysterics, Jack asked who had been doing the funny parody of "Zoot Suit Riot."
"Oh. That was Weird Al Yankovich. He does parodies of lots of famous songs. We could drop by my apartment and pick up his other cd's before we head over to your house."
Jack looked at Daniel in surprise. Daniel caught the look. "Well, that is why you're here now, isn't it?"
Jack laughed. "I gotta stop being so predictable."
Daniel turned out the lights and headed out the door. "You coming?"
"Yep."
"Hey Jack, I've been trying to make up my on parody. Actually it started when I was locked away in that padded cell. Listen:"
"I'm going crazy at SGC
I'm so bonkers I just can't see
That my friends have put me away
When I get out I will make them pay."
"What do you think, Jack...Jack?"
Jack's groan could be heard all through the SGC.
The End
I know this story was silly, but I couldn't help my self.
Notes:
GrapeFruit Diet is a parody of Zoot Suit Riot written by Al Yankovich from his album Running with Scissors. Daniel's parody was one I made up that is off of Bittney Spear's Drive Me Crazy.