Approximating Angles, a ghost hunt fanfic

"Steady, Masako. Your fingers are shaking!"

"I'm trying, Mai!"

"Slowly... slowly…"

"I know. Here I go…!"

A gasp.

And then the Jenga tower toppled over in what seems to be slow motion. All around, the slow-mo reactions of the players were as follows: Yasuhara's smile turned into a grin; Bou-san's stupefied face was gaping, his mouth an ever-widening O; Ayako's eyes were rolling upward, her lips parting and preparing for a haughty laugh; John's usually peaceful face contorted with anguish and frustration, his panicked hands about to raise the roof; Mai's hands were reaching up to cover the aftermath of a gasp; and Masako's index finger and thumb stayed stuck in midair, still pinching the light brown block that ended the game.

"Too bad, Masako. You lose."

- ONE HOUR AGO -

"Tadaah!" Houshou Takigawa opened the wrapped cylinder with a flourish.

"What. It's just Jenga," Ayako Matsuzaki sighed.

"That's not exactly the right reaction, but—"

"Waah! It's Jenga!" John Brown and Mai Taniyama both cried in delight.

"John! You play Jenga, too!" Mai said excitedly. John merely chuckled gently.

"Yes. It's my favorite game. The kids in the orphanage play it all the time, although they lose concentration after adding two levels."

Bou-san nodded, satisfied. "There you go. That's the reaction I was waiting for."

"Well, I do hope you all know that I refu—" Masako Hara, almost forever clad in a kimono, sniffed.

"That won't do, Masako-chan." Bou-san clucked while wagging his index finger at the medium. "You have to learn how to bond with your colleagues."

"Colleagues? You?"

Ayako rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Whatever. Just leave her alone, Bou-san. I bet she's just being snooty because she doesn't know how to play. Right, Masako?"

Masako scoffed. "Of course I know how to play. It's simple. Let me demonstrate." She tilted the tin cylinder until all the light brown rectangular blocks tumbled out. Then, she started stacking them, three blocks per level, in alternating directions. "There. The game starts with me." She got one block, swiftly put it on top of the tower, and turned to her left. "Yasuhara-san, please take your turn."

"Eh? Why not start with me? I'm on your right side!"

"I want you to lose, Mai."

"What!"

"Speaking of losing…" Osamu Yasuhara began as he tapped on a block to loosen it. "How about a punishment for who makes the tower collapse?" He put the block beside Masako's.

"Good idea, shounen." Bou-san puts his block beside Yasuhara's, completing a level.

"I wonder what the punishment would be." Ayako starts another level. "John, you're next."

"That should depend on the loser, don't you think?" Yasuhara replied.

"Mai-san."

"Oh, okay." Mai completes the next level.

"By the way, did ya buy this, Takigawa-san?" John asked. He looked sharper and more focused than normal.

"Hm? Nah. It was given by a fan, but my bandmates hated it, so I took it."

"Why would they hate Jenga?"

"It's… They were just being silly."

"You call your bandmates silly?" It was Ayako's turn again. "Then what do you call yourself? Dumbo?"

"Hey, that's mean, Ayako!"

"Then why do they hate it, Bou-san?" Mai echoed John.

Bou-san was silent for a moment. "Well… Promise you won't laugh?" The others nodded. "They said… and I quote—I quote, okay?" Everyone leaned toward the monk, all ears. "'It's not punk rock, man. It'll ruin our punk rock rep.'" Peals of laughter filled their table. "Hey! You promised you won't laugh!"

"B-But I can't help it, Takigawa-san! They sound like thirteen-year-old boys who don't want to be seen holding hands with their mothers!"

"Ahahahaha! That's a great analogy, Yasuhara-san!" Mai, overwhelmed with hilarity, was about to pound on the table with her hand when John stopped her. She ended up slapping the priest's shoulder instead.

"Ugh! I shouldn't have told you!"

Ayako patted Bou-san's back, sniggering all the while. "Now, now, Bou-san. At least we know you're not like them. Your mental age is ten years old, after all." She bit her lips to suppress another laughing fit.

"Pfft." Four pairs of lips mirrored Ayako's.

Then, the giggling and tittering dwindled, and the SPR irregulars and part-timers played on in quiet concentration.

After a long, long silence, which was partly due to Bou-san's sulking and partly due to the increasing difficulty of the game, the monk finally spoke. "Hey, does anyone know how high the tallest tower is?"

"Shh," Ayako hissed, and everyone was hushed.

After another while, "It has forty and two-thirds levels, Takigawa-san."

"Oya? You're really into this, John."

John, after lightly setting his block, chuckled softly. "It's been so long since I got to play this seriously. I'm really happy I got to play with y'all."

Bou-san grinned. "Really? I'm glad I took it with me, then."

"Guys…" Mai whispered shakily. "Do you know what level we're at right now?"

Yasuhara counted with his index finger silently. "Why, we're at the thirty-ninth and one-third." His voice was serious and low.

"…Oi, John… What'd you say the record was?"

"Uh, it's forty and two-thirds… Ah!" John exclaimed in realization. "We might be able to break the record!"

Everyone's concentration elevated to maximum at breakneck speed. The silence that returned was heavy with pressure and tension.

"Th-There…" Mai sighed in relief as the tower stopped its slight teetering. "We're at forty and two-thirds. Masako, you have to be careful. We have to beat the record!"

"Shush, Mai! Pressuring me is not going to help!" Masako's fingers probed blocks here and there until she found the most loose.

"Steady, Masako. Your fingers are shaking!"

"I'm trying, Mai!"

"Slowly... slowly…"

"I know. Here I go…!" She gently pulled the block from under the tower, but it wobbled so dangerously that Mai gasped.

Everyone held their breaths. John offered a heartfelt prayer to keep the tower upright. Bou-san and Ayako gulped. Yasuhara smiled in excitement. Masako slowly raised the block toward the topmost level.

Ayako's shrill cackle cut through the two-second slow-mo. "Too bad, Masako. You lose," she drawled.

"…Yes, I am aware of that."

"Wh-What a shame!" John said. No. Whined. He tried very hard to stop himself from pulling on his hair like Mai was doing.

"Well then, for the punishment! Yasuhara-kun!" Everyone looked at Yasuhara expectantly.

"Now, now, everyone! Why don't we discuss it first? Hara-san, would you please get us a slice of cake that we can share?"

"Oi, shounen. Who do you think would pay for that, huh?"

"You?"

Bou-san sighed. "Fine."

When Masako was out of hearing range, the five non-losers huddled around the table and the fallen tower to confer about her punishment.

"I want a punishment that'll humiliate her!" Ayako demanded.

"But we have to know her weakness first." Yasuhara answered.

"Oh, I know what it is!" Mai said with an uncharacteristic impish smile. "She hates being hated by Naru, so what if we embarrass her in front of Naru?"

"That's great, Mai! As expected of Masako's rival!"

"Ehehe~"

"John, you're not talking."

"I'm a'ight, Takigawa-san. Y'all go decide on her punishment."

"Oh, right. You're a priest."

John merely smiled.

"Taniyama-san, do you mind… removing? no, getting Hara-san out of your way?" Yasuhara gave Mai a knowing look.

"What do you mean, Yasu—oh, I get it. Ehehe~ I don't mind at all!"

"Do you mind lending me a hand on this one?"

"Nope!"

"Then I have an idea."

Everyone leaned ever so closer to hear Yasuhara.

"We're going to make Big Boss think that Hara-san isn't interested in him anymore."

"And? How do we do that?" Ayako prompted.

Yasuhara readjusted his glinting spectacles. "Using Pocky and optical illusion."

"Pocky?" the others returned with confused faces.

"Pocky."

"Pocky… Oi, shounen, you can't possibly mean the Pocky game?"

"You got it right, Takigawa-san!"

"Then what about Mai?"

"What about me?"

Yasuhara and Bou-san exchanged glances.

"Nothing, Taniyama-san. Just that you're going to enjoy it."

ooo

"We've decided on your punishment, Hara-san." Yasuhara, the group's de facto representative and mastermind, stood in front of the two adjacent part-timers' desks. Mai occupied hers, while Masako occupied his. The other three sat on the reception's couches behind him. "You will play the Pocky game with Taniyama-san. There will be five sticks, so the first one to get three wins will be the winner. Do you both know the game?"

When the girls nodded, he smiled brightly and held out a pink Pocky box. "Well then, here you go. Ah, right. Please don't move too much from your seats," he added, as if in afterthought. The two girls nodded again and shifted towards each other.

"I'm gonna win, Masako." Mai was smirking as she opened the box. She held it out for her rival.

Masako picked a stick. "If this is the punishment that all of you have thought of, then I believe you were underestimating my capabilities." She bit one end of the stick and waited for Mai to bite the other end.

"Okay. Guys, we're starting!" Mai bit the other end of the Pocky, and the game began.

"Seriously. Another game as a punishment to a game? What was Yasuhara-kun thinking?" Ayako griped, watching the two girls nibble at opposite ends.

"Don't you get it? Shounen mentioned optical illusion. An eye trick," Bou-san whispered.

"So?"

"Look where Mai and Masako're sitting. At one angle, it'll definitely look like they're doing something else. If someone sees them from that angle, without seeing the Pocky, what do you think will that person think?"

When Ayako finally got it, she giggled in glee. "Yasuhara-kun's a genius." Then, her smile instantly dropped. "But then wouldn't Mai also—?"

"Yeah." Bou-san shook his head and crossed his arms. "I get the feeling that this's gonna backfire somehow."

"Are you done with the game yet, Taniyama-san? We can't get caught now," Yasuhara said in a rather loud whisper. He was now standing by the shelves just outside the door to the president's office, skimming through the English titles.

Mai just mumbled in reply.

"You're taking so long. If Big Boss catches us—"

Finally, the president's door opened. "I thought I already told you—" Kazuya Shibuya stopped short at what he saw. Mai was in her chair, her back turned toward him. On her shoulders rested small hands half-covered in kimono sleeves. His eyes followed the hands toward their owner's head, which was just in front of Mai's.

"My…" Yasuhara, smiling inappropriately pleasantly, said. Naru sharply turned to him. "I didn't know Hara-san swung both ways, if you know what I mean…" He returned his boss's heated glare with a level gaze. "Come to think of it, I didn't think Taniyama-san swung both ways, either. Did you, Shibuya-san?"

"Mai!" Naru barked. Both girls jumped.

"N-Naru!" Mai exclaimed, turning to face her boss. "What's up?"

Masako discreetly stuffed the rest of the much shortened Pocky into her mouth and brushed away the crumbs from her face. Then she, too, looked at Naru, blushing furiously.

"Tea. My office. Now." Naru's biting words had Mai flinching at every syllable and running towards the kitchen. He threw Yasuhara a dirty look before slamming the door closed.

Mai peeped from the kitchen divider. "How was it? Did it work?" Ayako, Bou-san, and Yasuhara held their thumbs up. She beamed and went back to making tea.

"Here." Mai placed a cup of tea before Noll, who had been reviewing the previous case when Yasuhara-san began his "whispering" like the textbook Devil's incarnate. And deliberately implying that they were playing a game, when they obviously were not, just to lure him outside. Noll mentally listed forty-odd reasons for dismissing the part-time receptionist.

"Ne, Naru?" Mai called hesitantly.

He opted to ignore her and continued reading the latest case file.

"Ne~ Naru!" Mai tried again, this time with a tone akin to Madoka's. He sighed. Mai really was a quick learner when it came to Madoka's teachings.

He laid the black file on his desk and reached for his tea. "Yes, Mai?"

"I've been meaning to ask, because no one wants to answer me… what's erectile dysfunction?"

The cup suddenly tipped, and he felt a searing sensation on his thighs. He stared at the source of pain, vaguely hearing Mai's gasp. "NARU! Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Then, all of a sudden his chair was swiveled to face Mai, and by the time his brain figured out what was happening she was already kneeling in front of him, dabbing his tea-drenched slacks with her handkerchief. He froze all over. "Geez, you always get careless with the most dangerous things!" she scolded, keeping at her job.

The door was hastily opened, and the rest of the team rushed in.

Lin-san and Bou-san called out at the same time.

"Noll! Taniyama-san!"

"Mai! Naru!"

And both stopped dead and stared instead.

"What happen—?!" Yasuhara shifted his glasses speechlessly without shifting his gaze from the scandalous sight.

"Mai?!" Ayako cried. Upon entering Naru's office, "Oh, for heaven's sake!"

"Ma—" was all John managed before he began frantically and repeatedly crossing himself.

Masako just gasped, totally aghast.

Before them was the president's table, with Naru sitting on his chair, facing his left, and looking downward. Mai was obscured by the table, and from what they can see of her, she seemed to be… kneeling in front of Naru's seat.

In the silence that ensued after the initial shock, they all heard the soft, short groan that escaped from Naru. A second wave of shock hit the spectators.

"N-Naru-ch-chan…" Bou-san hazarded, "What's happening?"

Naru shot them a very fiery glare. "None of your business."

ooo

"But who would've thought! Naru-chan could get it up, after all!" Bou-san said incredulously, raising his arms to cradle his nape. As per usual when they upset him, Naru harshly dismissed the irregulars and forced the part-timers to take the rest of the day off.

Yasuhara became unusually contemplative after the incident. "…You just assumed he couldn't, Takigawa-san." He couldn't shake the feeling that the boss had cheated the whole team, one way or another.

"Well, you sure acted like you believed me, shounen!"

Mai was just as confused as she had been when Ayako grabbed her arm and dragged her out of Naru's office and then out of the building. "Ayako, what're they talking about?"

"It's nothing. Don't mind them, Mai…" the priestess replied distractedly.

Masako's face was indescribable as she uttered acerbically, "Mai, I hate you."

"Y-Y'all are probably misunderstanding all of this…" John insisted. He was unconsciously starting to wonder if there existed a prayer that stops people from blowing things out of proportion.

With the office rid of noise pollutants that were the rest of the SPR team, and with neither of the two remaining members speaking, ringing silence dominated.

Koujo Lin had not stopped staring at his charge, who was now glaring at the window as if it were vulgar. Being shocked twice in a row, not to mention by Noll, left his face and his brain completely blank.

Upon the speedy recovery of his cerebral functions, the relevant questions formed. What in the world was Noll thinking? Was he even thinking? Did he know the consequences? Did he even know how to—? Wait! How did he even—?! Will Noll take responsibility? How was he going to tell Noll's parents and Madoka? Wait! There must be a misunderstanding!

"Lin." The curt and commanding call snapped him back to the cause of his anxiety. He awaited orders. "Close the office. I have to change." Noll stood up and walked round his desk. Lin's eyes instinctively dropped to his charge's slacks. The black trousers seemed to be a shade darker in the front thighs. He was shocked a third time.

Just to be clear, he was assigned by Madoka to be Noll's adult companion to and in Japan. And just to be much more specific, he was tasked to be Noll's guardian. Not his chaperone.

Oh, no. He did not sign up for that.

"That is it, Noll. I am calling Madoka."

Author's Note: This story is mostly an independent story. But those who have read "The Bigger, Blacker Box" may consider this story as some sort of sequel.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ghost Hunt or any of its characters. Jenga is a genius and very fun game created by Leslie Scott and marketed by Parker Brothers.