Dreamscape – a trap of the mind
Author's note – this was inspired by Evanescence's official music video for 'My Immortal'. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!
"Come on, Ed." You call to me. I'm racing to catch up with you and Winry in this fragile replica of our home. Seeing your smile, for real this time and being here makes me feel more alive than I've felt in weeks, spent here on the other side of that damned Gate without you and everything precious to me. I push those thoughts away and allow myself to indulge in this temporary ecstasy I feel. We finally collapse under a tree nearby, your head on my lap and Winry's head on my shoulder. We sit there in comfortable silence, just enjoying the moment and the sun on our faces through the shelter of the leaves above. The silence is shattered by Granny Pinoko's announcement of stew for dinner. We instantly get up and dash for the house that's become our second home over the years.
I'm running as fast as I can, but not going anywhere. I call, but you don't respond. All of my inevitable fears fly through me and my shout become more desperate. "Come back, Al! I need you! Please don't leave me alone!" My vision's blurred and I'm too chocked up to yell anymore, no matter how hard I try. Not again was my last thought before I opened my eyes.
I awoke to the sound of vehicles rattling past the window behind me and the strong smell of old paper, strong German coffee and saltwater. Not for the first time, fear grips me as I realize that I'm not where I belong, before reality strikes and reminds me that I'm not alone in this not so unfamiliar world.
"Good morning, Ed." The other you, Alfonse Heidrich, says with your smile. Your face is not the only familiar one to haunt me here. So similar, and yet so different. My pen and paper fall to the ground, and, as I bend to pick them up, stray droplets fall from my eyes. "Ed, did you have a bad dream?" I roughly rub my eyes on my shirt cuff and shrug off the sympathy. I must've fallen asleep reading again, I guess I think as I stand and walk to the window. My mind wanders to the dream.
Sleep is my only escape into the addictive dreamscape of our home. It's the only thing keeping me alive. It's me lifeline away from the talk of war, of Hitler's obvious militaristic plans (A lot like Fuhrer Bradley, ne?) and to you.
The other Al makes me some coffee and asks me something, about our past I think, which is odd because we both know that he doesn't believe a word I say. Apparently it went from 'probable' to 'complete bullshit' a long time ago. I immediately put on my mask and throw myself into another story of us, keeping up the façade. Alfonse thinks that I'm coping a lot better with our separation. He's wrong and doesn't believe. Yet he still asks, and I still tell, just to get a taste of freedom again.
Already I'm craving the dream world again. The final part always gets me, even though I've relived it over and over again in sleep. Please Al, I need this endless dream, if I am to survive this world and return to you.