The Silver Lining

This is my first Twilight Fanfic. I moved it from another site to here. I hope you guys like it...I don't know what the rating should be yet so I'm going to put PG15...lol. Tell me what you guys think...

Preface

Staring into the eyes of my grim reaper, my undertaker, only frightened me for the briefest of seconds. Then something warm grabbed my fingers, a hand, but not just any hand- Jake's hand.

I can do this, I realized with a sudden rush of courage. I can do anything with the love of my life solidly at my side.

Jake tightened his hand around mine and I returned the pressure.

We can do this.

Chapter One: Aching Heart

My father sat on the piano bench staring at the immense musical object as if it were an irritable grizzly. He'd never looked s-so overwhelmed by the beautiful instrument before, but maybe he's finally getting tired of it. I doubt it. He loved playing for my mother and me. It was truly one of his better talents.

My mother sat on the couch with Uncle Emmett, calmly. That was a surprise to me. Uncle Emmett usually said something out of context to me, that made my mother upset. It was hard for her to be in the room more then twenty seconds at a time with him.

Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose were also in the living room, sitting over their drawing desk. From here, I could see Aunt Rose sketching a flashy car and Aunt Alice sketching, yet again, another dress. I walked away quickly before she could trap me. I was her life size petite china doll. I hated it.

I walked into the kitchen where, of course, I found a half-naked Jake. Instantly an ear-to-ear smile spread across my face. Jake always made me smile, even if I were upset. His blissful attitude was very much contagious. I'm happy that out of everyone in the entire world he wanted to be my best friend, but sometimes I wish he could see me as something more than a friend.

"Nessie? Are you okay?" My smile had fallen I felt it. I think about Jake way too much these days.

He's only your friend Renesmee, nothing more. After I eternally reprimanded myself, I walked over to the table and took my seat across from Jake. I felt his chocolate eyes staring at me, but I wanted to control my expression before I looked over at him.

Grandma Esme brought over a bowl of fruit for me. I hated human food. I preferred the thick, hot, sweetness of human blood to anything, but I rarely got to enjoy luscious human blood. My mother and father prefer I drink 'animals' blood; nasty, rusty, animals' blood, but even I preferred that to human food.

"Ness, you haven't touched your breakfast. Is something wrong?" Jake asked interrupting my thoughts. I held my hand out offering him a peek into my thoughts; he took it. He laughed as I showed him me running through the woods beating him in his wolf skin. "Oh yeah? Well we'll see about that after school." I frowned. I'd managed to make myself forget all about school.

I'm so nervous. What if the humans don't like me. What if I frighten them. I don't want to go.

"Nessie, anyone that doesn't love you right away is an idiot. You're going to be a hit." He made me sound like a television show pilot. He laughed.

Well, I'm happy you can find the joke in everything Jacob Black, I thought sarcastically.

"Will you stop worrying so much? Besides, I'll be there and so will everyone else. We'll keep you safe. They would have to be nuts to mess with you with us around, so cheer up, Nessie."

I slid my hand from his. I didn't want him to see that I thought him and everyone else would be wasting there time. Who would come near me? Everyone's going to look once in my direction and run away.

I picked at my fruit bowl until I heard someone approaching the house. Then I recognized the scent. Uncle Jasper and Grandpa Carlisle. I bounced up and headed towards the front door. Grandma Esme and Aunt Alice followed me as I went through the living room. "Grandpa Carlisle!" I sung as he walked through the door. I fastened my arms around his waist and hugged him tight. He chuckled and brushed through my hair with his fingers.

"Well, hello to you too, Nessie. I've missed you as well." I released him and bounced over to Uncle Jasper. I was suddenly extra excited. "Uncle Jasper," I wanted it to sound like I was scolding him, but Uncle Jazz was excessively powerful. It came out in a high trill giggle. "I'm already happy to see you. You guys shouldn't go so far next time I missed you a lot."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to take you with us next time, and of course you too, Jacob."

"I'm in." Jake said from behind me. Everyone laughed.

Uncle Jasper released me and went to Aunt Alice. They didn't embrace. They just locked gazes and stared. The way they looked at each other, as if no one else was around, like there was nothing that could ever cleave them apart, was astonishing. It felt like the most private thing in the world, that I had to look away.

I wish I had someone to look at me like that, but of course, I don't. I don't know anyone outside of my family and the pack, and even if I did, no one would think I was as pretty as my chalk beautiful family. I turned away, feeling horrid. Why does the one person I wish would look at me like that only want to be my friend? I hate being the ugly one in a house full of beauty.

"Renesmee," My father called. Of course, he would be listening to my thoughts, but I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to discuss the vast, unfulfilled hole in my chest that I can't explain. I hate feeling like something is missing all the time. I hate feeling as if something is wrong with me because I can't figure out what that something is. "Renesmee?" My father whispered.

No dad! Please, just don't.

Before my tears could betray me and before my father could touch me, I ran up stairs to my room. I heard a pursuer behind me, but instantly knew it was only Jake. He never enjoyed seeing me suffer, but I wasn't going to talk to him about my hole either.

He came up behind me, grabbing me by the waist. I struggled feebly to escape his grasp, but he just held on tighter. I touched his arm, showing him me begging him to let me go. I just wanted to be alone. He didn't release me. Instead, he turned me around in his arms and held on tighter. "I will never leave you alone, Renesmee Cullen." He squeezed me, reinforcing his words.

I leaned my head against his bare chest, swimming in his woodsy aroma. No one smelt like Jake, not even the rest of his pack, or Sam's.

I hadn't realized that my crying had ceased. All I realized, all I felt, all I smelt, was Jacob. There was just so much of him. I turned my face in his chest so my lips touched his skin and unthinkingly I puckered my lips and kissed his bare flesh. He stiffened and so did I.

Nessie! I was instantly rebuking myself. Its Jake, stop it! He doesn't see you like that, no one does.

He leaned away, just slightly to look at me, but I childishly turned my head. I didn't want to hear his rejection, let alone see it. "Nessie?" He called softly, probably trying not to hurt my feelings.

I started struggling again, but his arms held me tighter. "Nessie, stop that, please?" He begged. "Look at me, Nessie!" he whispered. I'd never heard his voice that low before. "Nessie?" He called again. Tears welled up in my eyes once again, and I felt ridiculous.

He loosened his left arm from around my waist, and then he completely dropped that arm. He brought his hand up, cupping my jaw, forcing me to face him. "Nessie, please look at me?" I shook my head. And for the first time in my thirteen years of life I was acting my age. "Please?" He begged, and this time his voice sounded husky, like he'd been running or something.

He removed his right arm, his fingers coming to rest on my left cheek. I could feel his breath on my forehead, and then my nose, and then my lips. Shock ran through my body. He was so close, centimeters. This wasn't helping me at all. I wanted to kiss him and he wanted to comfort me, as a friend. We wanted different things and being this close to him wasn't right for what he wants for us. "Jacob?" I mumbled.

"Nessie?" he whispered. The softness of his voice made me open my eyes. I met his big, mahogany eyes and noticed immediately how they sparkled. "Nessie?" he whispered, before his lips eased closer to mine. Am I imagining this? Is he really going to ki-

"Jacob? Renesmee?" My fathers voice rung from downstairs. Jacob and I jumped apart, both breathing heavily. What was that? Was Jake really going to kiss me? Was I really going to kiss Jake? "It's almost time for school you two. We have to leave soon, so hurry." my father ordered.

I ignored him and stared at Jake, who was fixedly staring at my room door.

"Jacob?" I murmured. We have to discuss this, don't we? Shouldn't we?

"I should go get changed. We have to get going, school starts soon." He started towards the door his eyes seemed attached to, not even bothering to glance at me as he spoke.

"But, Jacob, shouldn't we talk?"

"Not now, later." Those were his last words. Then he was gone, and I was left yet again confused. My heart truly ached.

A/N: Tell me what you think...Should I continue? Let me know.