Disclaimer: I don't own GW
Warnings: yaoi, m/m sexual relations, swearing.
Pairings: 2x4, 2xH, 4x? , 5xS, mentions of past 1x2, 3x4
Author's note: The title of this story is taken from the song "I Love You" by Woodkid, which basically inspired this whole story and is wonderful and amazing and you should definitely listen to it if you get the chance. This is the continuation of the one-shot, "A Different Kind of Animal." New chapters posted on Sundays and Wednesdays.
Thanks so much to Miss M for beta-ing and for encouraging me to write this! Enjoy!
"Maybe we can draw that line
Maybe another time
Well I wanna do what's right
But maybe not tonight."
-Maybe not Tonight, Glen Hansard
Maybe not Tonight
The antiquated ballroom was enormous. It shone brightly with over-the-top cream and gold-colored decorations, softly spinning chandeliers and the sparkling jewels donning the necks of the elite party-goers. The room was packed with all manner of political dignitaries from Earth and the space colonies alike, dressed up in evening gowns and tuxedos, and the room thrummed with the soft murmur of voices occasionally broken by good-natured laughter. It looked every bit a scene from a lovely dream. To Duo Maxwell, who was currently working the security detail, this place was a nightmare.
To begin with, Duo had been forced to wear a tuxedo as this was a formal event and he'd been (quite rudely, he might add) informed that his Preventers uniform would clash with the décor. So not only was he charged with the inane task of keeping a bunch of rich folks in line, he had to do it in a stupid suit with a stupidly skinny tie. At least he looked damn good, if the looks he kept receiving from the available young ladies were any indication. Or maybe it was the way he kept muttering profanities into his wrist.
"Wufei, I am going to fucking murder you in your sleep for this," Duo whispered into the small communication device.
"Maxwell," came a voice from behind Duo, "I'd really appreciate if you'd stop scaring all these people, I'd hate to have to deal with a stampede."
Duo snorted and turned to find Chang Wufei, former pilot of the Gundam Shenlong and currently the supervising agent of his Preventer unit and therefore the object of his rage. He wore a similar dark suit, adding a maroon cummerbund and a matching bow tie. Wufei's expression mirrored a disapproving parent, complete with the single raised eyebrow and pursed lips.
"Sure thing, boss," Duo said, trying to calm down, "but you know I hate these things and considering I just got back from a four month long undercover mission, I'd say this is as close to torture as you can legally get."
Wufei smirked. "Perhaps. Consider it a special punishment for the last time I walked in on your groping session in the very public bathroom at headquarters."
Duo had to smile fondly at that, "that was a personal record."
The narrowed look he received from Wufei was enough to make Duo almost feel sorry. "Alright, alright," he conceded, "I see your point."
"Don't worry, Maxwell," Wufei said, a playful tone creeping into his voice, "your partner is suffering the same punishment you are."
"He's here?" Duo couldn't help the hopeful tone of his voice.
"Of course. I couldn't well punish you and not your partner. That would seem unfair."
Duo was only sort of listening to Wufei continue on about justice and fairness and how he hoped that punishing his Preventer partner would deter Duo from attempting any other reckless stunts, but his eyes were busy scanning the crowd, looking for the man himself. When his gaze finally landed on his target, he couldn't suppress a smile.
Quatre Raberba Winner stood flanked by two other Preventer agents that Duo recognized as Lucrezia Noin and Sally Po. He wore a grim expression and he was clearly listening to instructions, since his hand was raised, a finger pressing into the ear piece he wore. It had been nine years since the fall of Mariemaia's army and Duo still marveled at how much Quatre had changed. He had grown taller, as they all had, and the roundness of his face had given away to a sharper jawline. Quatre wore his hair longer now; it curled softly at the ends and made him look a lot more like a disheveled youth than a Preventer agent. Although that was probably the point.
Quatre had tried to follow in his father's footsteps and take over Winner Enterprises after the war, but he'd barely lasted a year before he began to go stir crazy. The stiff upper-class society and demanding schedule of a business leader didn't suit him anymore and it wasn't long before he'd shown up at Duo's apartment, a single suitcase in hand. Duo had taken in his friend and convinced Quatre to join the Preventers as he had. Just because there was no unified threat to fight against didn't mean that they had to quit protecting the peace they had built. Duo's words had given Quatre a newfound energy and he threw himself into the Preventers' mission wholeheartedly. Everyone had been surprised by Quatre's return to action. Duo had been proud.
Duo thought about how they had all changed since the end of the war. Wufei hadn't grown much taller, but he had exchanged his signature ponytail for a more professional-looking short haircut once he'd been made a Preventer Commander. He was in charge of a team of twenty Preventer officers now and he had to look the part. Wufei had also mellowed considerably since the end of the war as evident by his allowing Quatre and Duo to be partners despite the danger of having two former Gundam pilots paired up. Duo supposed that Wufei's relationship with Sally and the lasting peace between the Earth and colonies had quite the impact. It would seem that Wufei had finally found something to protect.
The men known as Heero Yuy and Trowa Barton had retired from the battlefield. Heero had disappeared immediately after the fall of Dekim Barton and Duo always suspected that though the "Perfect Soldier" had left without a word, Heero was still very much involved with Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian. Trowa had returned to Catherine Bloom and circus life, refusing Wufei's offer to join his Preventer unit. I've been fighting all my life, he had said, I just want to live quietly.
The fact was that the only former Gundam pilot who hadn't changed much since the end of the war was Shinigami himself. He had grown taller, his shoulders broader, and his frame more muscular but he still wore his hair in a ridiculously long braid that earned him many rebukes from Wufei. Duo was still just a bit too brazen, too rebellious, too reckless. It was what made him an endless pain in the ass to Wufei and Quatre and a damn good Preventer agent. It also made him a mediocre boyfriend at best. Hilde could probably talk your ear off about it.
Duo inhaled deeply as he watched Quatre mouth the words she's here into his wrist. All the Preventer agents straightened to attention as Commander Une took the stage and a hush fell over the crowd.
"Thank you all for coming out to celebrate this momentous occasion. Tonight, we remember all the sacrifices made in order to ensure everlasting peace. We honor the fallen soldiers and the leaders who passed away. Though we honor the dead and their immeasurable sacrifice, tonight we also celebrate. On this anniversary of the end of the Eve Wars, we celebrate the Earth Sphere United Nation and what the space colonies and the Earth have been able to build together. I now present you with our guest of honor, Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian."
Duo had to hand it to Commander Une, she was a hell of a public speaker. Amidst the swell of applause from the crowd, Relena walked onto the stage, clad in a dusty blue dress, hair tied up in an elegant bun. But Duo wasn't watching her. His eyes were locked onto the figure of Quatre, hid conspicuously in the wings of the stage. Quatre's eyes were scanning the crowd and when they finally landed on Duo, he gave a small smile.
Duo let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He hadn't seen Quatre in four months because of his undercover mission and the two hadn't parted on the best of terms. They had fought the day before he'd left, which wasn't entirely unusual but the fight had been more vicious than normal. If Duo recalled correctly, Quatre had called him an insufferable, selfish bastard before hanging up on him. But whatever anger Duo had felt had dissipated the moment he saw that Quatre was no longer mad. Besides, four months infiltrating a fledgling terrorist cell really gave a guy time to think about how he treated his friends.
The rest of the evening went on as expected. Quatre, Sally and Noin followed Relena discreetly throughout the ballroom and Duo was stuck in his little corner alone when Wufei went check on a problem at the back entrance of the building. The only thing that made the night bearable was the way Quatre kept choking back laughter at Duo's exaggerated eye rolls.
When he noticed that Quatre was holding a half-empty glass of champagne, Duo knew it was his perfect chance. He waited like a good soldier for Wufei to return before asking him for a break. Wufei was not pleased, but the night was drawing to a close and Relena would soon be making her exit. He nodded stiffly at Duo.
"Well, well, well," Duo said when he reached Quatre and noted his glass was now empty, "if it isn't 'non-alcoholic' champagne-loving Quatre."
Quatre rolled his eyes good-naturedly, "you're never going to let me live that down, are you?"
"Of course not," Duo smirked.
"It's good to see you, Duo," Quatre said, smiling a bit wider now, "even if you spent the whole night trying to make me lose my composure."
"Oh come on, Quat. What kind of partner would I be if I didn't? I have to keep you on your toes, keep those instincts honed."
Quatre only nodded and glanced around the room. If Duo didn't know any better, he'd have thought Quatre was looking for someone.
"So you off-duty yet?" Duo asked.
"I wouldn't be drinking if I wasn't. Noin's escorting Relena back to her hotel as we speak."
"Great, 'cuz I need to talk to you and it's very important and private so just come with me."
Duo grabbed Quatre's forearm and dragged him away from the crowd, ignoring his half-hearted protests. He led them down a long corridor and then up a flight of stairs. The upper floor was empty and dark and Duo all but pushed Quatre through the door to the men's bathroom. Duo took a moment to check the bathroom for wayward guests and gave an approving hum when he found it totally empty.
"Duo," Quatre said disapprovingly as Duo shoved him into the stall furthest from the door.
Duo shoved Quatre up against the wall of the stall and locked their lips together. He kissed him hungrily, hands roaming the expanse of Quatre's chest and tugging on the lapels of his suit jacket.
"You're crazy," Quatre breathed out as Duo trailed kisses down his neck. Despite his protests, Quatre arched his neck to allow Duo better access.
"Crazy about you," Duo returned, lips brushing against Quatre's skin as he spoke the words. Duo's hands drifted down to palm Quatre through his trousers, eliciting a sharp hiss from the latter.
"You look so fucking good in that suit, Quat," Duo whispered in Quatre's ear, relishing the way he squirmed and tensed against him, "I've been thinking about ripping it off you all night long."
"Duo, we can't do this here. This is exactly how we got stuck with the security detail in the first place."
"Hey, I have very fond memories of the bathroom at headquarters," Duo smiled against Quatre's neck as he quickly tried to unbutton the white shirt.
"Yeah, well, Wufei doesn't and if he catches us again we're going to be in so much trouble."
"I like to live dangerously," Duo said, taking a break from kissing Quatre to look into his eyes, "and besides, if Wufei didn't want me to fuck your brains out he shouldn't have put you in that suit."
Quatre laughed then, loud and clear, and wrapped his arms around Duo's shoulders. He pressed their foreheads together and looked up at Duo.
"You don't look too bad yourself, you know," Quatre grinned. His smile made Duo's heart bang against his chest.
"But you know," he continued, slowly pushing Duo backwards until his back hit the wall and their positions were reversed, "if we're going to do this, maybe we should set more realistic goals. How about instead of the lofty task of fucking in this tiny stall we settle for just blowing each other's brains out?"
Quatre was on his knees before Duo could reply, making quick work of Duo's pants. Duo looked down at the slender young man kneeling before him, his shaggy head of hair and unbelievably bright eyes. Duo remembered a time in a dimly lit carrier hanger, Quatre shaking between his legs, and he was overcome by emotion. He smiled to himself and brought his hand up to stroke Quatre's hair. Duo couldn't for the life him remember why the two had been fighting in the first place.
"How are you so perfect?" Duo asked and Quatre looked up and smirked. "I missed you."
Quatre froze and Duo tugged on his shoulders to make him stand again. He tried to look at Quatre but the other man's eyes were darting around and looking anywhere but at Duo.
"I mean it, Quat," Duo said, sincerity making his voice waver, "I missed you."
"Duo, don't—" Quatre began but was quickly cut off.
"I've been thinking about what you said and—"
"I've been seeing someone else."
The words hung in the air and the two men stared at each other.
"What?" was the only thing Duo could think to say. He felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. Quatre didn't respond. He just looked at Duo with an expression of guilt that made Duo furious.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Duo said through gritted teeth.
"Duo—"
"No, no, no, you have got to be fucking kidding me!"
Quatre's eyes narrowed and his face changed from guilt to anger. Duo had been on the receiving of that venomous look many times and though he raised his chin in defiance, inwardly he faltered.
"Duo, you have no right. You're the one with the girlfriend!"
And suddenly, their last screaming match came flooding back to Duo. The reason for their fight, like always, was Duo's relationship with Hilde. After he joined the Preventers and peace seemed unbreakable, Duo had felt invincible. He'd felt like a fucking hero. Hell, he was one. So he had accepted the numerous offers of drinks and dates from women and men alike (Duo prided himself on his fluid sexuality) and, in essence, enjoyed himself. Very much. When Quatre showed up at his doorstep, they'd picked up where they had left off during the war, but Duo made sure that Quatre always knew that they were not an exclusive item. Quatre seemed more than happy with what they had. Until, suddenly, he wasn't. Probably around the time Hilde and Duo moved in together. Quatre knew about Hilde and Hilde knew about Quatre and they both knew about Duo's other lovers and for a while, all had been harmonious. But years passed by and Duo stopped seeing anyone but Hilde and Quatre, essentially throwing them into an unwanted polyamorous relationship. Hilde didn't care; she knew Duo well enough to know that he couldn't be owned, that he valued his freedom more than anything, and she was content with what she had. But Quatre was confused and hurt and he wanted out.
All or nothing, Quatre had said. He had tried to walk away from Duo before, but he never got far enough and Duo didn't let him. He adored Quatre. He thought the sun shone out of his damn ass and in the quiet moments when Duo let himself be honest, he found himself thinking of the proverbial L word. Of course, the two had never exchanged 'I love yous' and every time Quatre seemed dangerously close to uttering those three little words, Duo changed the subject as quickly as possible. But that was then. Now was four months of no contact and dreaming of Quatre's laughter. Now Duo felt ready to really give Quatre what he wanted and deserved: a steady relationship.
"I left Hilde," Duo said, after the silence became unbearable.
Quatre's eyes widened almost comically, "you what?"
"I left her, man," Duo repeated, "I left her 'cause you said 'all or nothing' and you sounded so damn serious this time. It seemed so different so the moment I got back, we broke up."
"How is she?" That was Quatre for you, always worried about the underdog.
"She's fine, she said she saw it coming and that she knew deep down she could never live up to you and that I could pick up my stuff tomorrow."
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
"She said she could never live up to you—"
"No," Quatre clarified in his eerily calm infuriated tone, "the part where you have to pick up your stuff."
"Well, Quatre, I'm not gonna fucking stay there now," Duo said as he finally reached down to zip up and adjust his pants. This definitely did not go according to plan. "Ideally, I was going to move in with you."
Quatre frowned even more, if that was possible. "Let me just get this straight. You thought that even though we've been fighting about this for years and we had a huge blow-up right before you left, not to mention the fact that I have not seen or heard from you for four months, that I was just going to let you move in with me?"
"I said 'ideally'," Duo remarked and he could see that Quatre was nearly shaking with all the effort he was putting into not punching his lights out. Another thought struck him and he added, "How long?"
Quatre sighed deeply, guilt creeping back into his demeanor, "We've been dating for about a month, I guess."
"I see, so is that why you're blowing your ex-whatever in the bathroom?"
"Don't be like that. First, we're not exclusive or official or anything, we have just been on a few dates. Second, you're the one who told me to—and I quote—'sew my wild oats' and stop worrying about your feelings. You're the one who didn't want this to be a relationship," Quatre sighed and his next words came out less harsh, "I am sorry I pushed you, Duo. You wanted to be free and I tried to make you into something different and, for that, I am truly sorry."
Duo felt his heart clench at the genuineness in Quatre's voice and words. He was at a complete loss as he stared at Quatre's face. But then he felt a sourness, a fire building in his stomach and his next question came out dripping with acid.
"Who is he?"
Quatre gaped at him, looking torn between feeling wounded and offended. "It doesn't matter," he answered before swiftly turning the lock and walking out of the stall. Duo followed.
"Don't you dare walk out on me," Duo called after him.
"I can't do this right now," Quatre said over his shoulder, "please just give me some space."
He froze in his tracks. "Fine," was Duo's icy reply.
Duo waited in the bathroom while Quatre left, not looking to see if Quatre had looked back. He walked over to the sink and splashed some cool water on his face, trying his best to avoid looking in the mirror. He used a paper towel to dry off before walking back down to the party. The crowd had thinned considerably and Duo made a real effort not to look for Quatre. Wufei seemed genuinely surprised to see him back at his post.
"I thought you'd snuck off a while ago," Wufei said.
"I'm a professional, sir," Duo barked out.
Years of being Duo's superior had taught Wufei that Duo only referred to him as 'sir' when there was no one around to hear the respectful title if he was in truly awful mood. Wufei looked at Duo, who was seething with barely-contained emotion.
"Maxwell," Wufei began, "you are dismissed. Go home and get some sleep."
Duo felt relief wash over him and he nodded in appreciation at Wufei before handing him his communication device and earpiece. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked through the crowd towards the exit. This had been one epic fuck-up of a night. Duo had felt so sure that Quatre would welcome him home with open arms and a willing body. When he hadn't been focusing on his mission, Duo's thoughts had been filled with memories of Quatre playing the violin, Quatre sliding between his bed sheets, Quatre making him coffee in the mornings. He thought of their intimate moments and decided that he couldn't risk living a lifetime without them. He'd broken Hilde's heart to keep them. Duo couldn't imagine this day getting any worse, but as with most things, as it turned out: Duo was wrong. He made the mistake of looking to his left where he caught sight of Quatre, looking somber and defeated, receiving a peck on the cheek from none other than Trowa fucking Barton.