Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. Wish I did but. :)

THANKS FOR READING: Please comment & review.

"You do realise that rape and sexual violence doesn't work with her?"

The two goons turned and looked at him.

Booth smiled, "I mean to a person with a totally rational mind the idea of sexual violence is simply another form of violence and thus to a totally rational mind, violence is just a means to cause pain and pain is just a series of electro/chemical releases in the body telling it that damage is being incurred thus to a totally rational person it's stupid to even bother feeling pain in the first place. Acknowledge it and forget."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Goon [Steve] shouted.

"Oh he is just relaying an argument we had a few years ago." Bones answered "About sexual rationalisation of sado/masochistic domination play. Rationally there is no point, it easier and cheaper to poke yourself with a needle to reach an equal serotonin high of being whipped or degraded."

"What is wrong with you people?" Goon [John] asked.

"Nothing with us;" Bones replied "It your assumption that rape will instil a sense of pain and suffering that is wrong. Rationally it just unwanted sex. Ergo it is simply best not to resist unless rationally a good choice to do so thus limiting any structural long term damage. As a fit and healthy woman who engages in sexual activity on a regular basis and who's natural lubricants flow effectively I feel confident that if I don't resist I will A) minimise damage and b)may enjoy myself."

Booth looked at her "Oh come on Bones. Don't say that to them,"

"Anthropologically as they are both Caucasian of apparent eastern European decent I am sure their phallic size should not be difficult to accommodate. I am both vaginally and rectally capable and prepared for men of more African origins."

John turned to steve "Did she just call us small?"

"Lets just fuck the bitch and show her." Steve replied.

Bones looked up at Steve "Oh don't mind me, I mean there are outliers in every species but averages tell the chances of both of you being larger than that median is extremely low. Booth here is extremely well-formed for his age and index. So the chance of three out of three men breaking that average is highly unlikely in fact it is far more likely you are both sub par."

"Total mood kill" John hissed pulling up his pants.

"I going to do it!" Steve yelled.

Bones smiled "I welcome your confidence. I particularly enjoy larger specimens."

"Too much information Bones." Booth commented.

Bones turned to booth "But I do enjoy a larger sized male, proportionally speaking. A large thick phallus can be infinitely more fulfilling than a male of a smaller stature even if the lesser male has better technique."

Steve dropped his pants revealing himself.

Bones looked at him "Sadly as previously stated you do fall into the sub par group."

"Told you." John whispered "Total mood kill."

"SHUT UP!" Steve shouted pulling up his trousers and storming out of the room followed by John.

A moment later Bones turned to Booth and asked "Was it something I said?"

THANKS FOR READING: Please comment & review.