Our Hearts They Beat and Break
When he looks at her – doing the dishes or poring over her endless paperwork or concentrating on winning a game of chess for a change – he allows himself to go back in time and simply sift through his many memories. Memories of her, of him, of all their time spent together.
He tries to settle on that precise moment when he decided that she was the most beautiful girl in the entire world and that he would love to hold her hand, or to be able to kiss her whenever he wanted.
Granted, up until fourth year (if not later), those feelings were both inexplicable and confusing, so it's not easy to tell.
One of his earliest memories is the day she was Petrified and the fear he had felt then is as concrete as the armchair he's sitting in now, as real as the air he's breathing. He had been terrified that he wouldn't hear her laugh again, wouldn't have her reprimand him and Harry for whatever stupid situation they got themselves into, wouldn't be able to lose himself in the depths of her chocolate brown eyes. Then she was cured and his heart had swelled with relief.
Next their turbulent third year comes to mind, especially the day she had slapped Malfoy across his face and had walked out of Divination for good. He doesn't think he has ever admired someone as much as he admired her in that instant. To him, she is one of a kind, and when he thinks about it, he convinces himself that on some subconscious level, he had always known – from the first moment he met her – that this girl was worth walking through fire for.
Late in his fourth year, he was finally hit with the realisation that the feelings he had for her were more than those someone has for a friend. While a lot was still unfathomable, he knew it was a tentative form of love, which was heartbreaking, because she was as unattainable as the moon.
Sometimes, when he can't sleep, because the nightmares have taken the better of him – his breathing laboured and his heart pounding violently – he finds comfort in the fact that she's lying beside him. He will steal a glance at her, with her wild locks a tangled mess, spread all over her pillow, her breathing even, her face serene – peaceful.
He will gaze at her and he will remember their sixth year, will think back on the Horcrux hunt, on Malfoy Manor. He will remember her screams, his hopelessness in that cellar, her bravery and his heart will shatter.
So he will try to let go, because they are alive and their hearts will keep beating – even after they break.
Then life stretches before them, on a day when the blazing summer sun slowly descends beyond the horizon, and it's for better and for worse and her euphoric smile mirrors his.
And their love is a light that will never, ever burn out.