Chapter One: Fear the Unknown and love the alcoholic.
Oh yes.
Mike choked back a hysterical fit as he watched the television screen zoom towards the old lady. "Oh…oh God," He blurted feverishly, clamping down at his stomach with one hand, beer bottle in the other.
Comedy bad-ass television shows were the best.
He rolled up and down the sofa, tears now beginning to build as he watched the old lady scream at her car which was now a broken mess on the parking lot. Mike reached out for another beer bottle rapidly but failed as he watched the woman begin to batter the hidden camera man behind the bush.
Oh, this was classic. He slapped his knee theatrically and continued to laugh. He was – he was…he was in control. Not too loud.
"You've been a VERY bad man! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CAR?!"
Mike exploded. He collapsed, clutching his sides with laughter. He knocked off a beer bottle which landed with a thud on the floor. He stopped as he heard footsteps beginning to thunder from the upstairs. The moment he heard the descent, Mike immediately returned the beer bottle and wiped the cold, amusing tears from his face.
Oh fu…
And then the living room door opened and she was there. Mike turned his eyes up at her, forcing an innocent smile.
"Morning, darling."
He watched her face turn from anger – to absolute hatred.
"Don't. Darling. Me." She growled between gritted teeth, "It's four Mike. Four. FOUR!"
It was actually five am. But Mike decided not to mention that and let her carry on.
"…isn't it a bit late to fulfil you're perverted cravings?!"
"Hey, crabby," Mike interjected, "I wasn't doing that." Their server wouldn't work, but Mike assumed didn't need to explain that either, "I was watching TV, that's all. Look! That old lady is-"
"I DON'T CARE!" Abby shrieked, making him jump slightly. She was angry. Mike could tell. Her normally pale face now resembled a pumpkin. A still-very-sexy-pumpkin but a pumpkin all the same. She eyed him then scowled, "Just. Keep. It. Down!" She continued, exhaling, "I swear Mike if I don't get any sleep. I will have to result in killing you."
"What?!" Mike stood up, holding both hands, "Hey – I am entitled to this house as much as you are. What's with you being up in my ass so much lately anyway?" He narrowed his eyes, "You high on something?"
The fact was that Abby did get very agitated with him – more times than they did it and they did it a lot – but it just seemed to have worsened.
For example at lunchtime, she got very peeved that he was eating a burger. And when they were driving home, she complained at the fact that he was driving too slow.
Women, He had thought, why did I fall in love with her again?!
Bloody whiner. But Mike still loved her of course, he just sort of did. And he did love their arguments since these normally ended up getting resolved in the bedroom but he wasn't happy with the fact that they were happening more often than they should be. Because, he didn't love her just because of that. He loved her because she was so funny. But now, she wasn't the funny he loved anymore. She was the bad type of funny. The sort that Mike didn't exactly have patience for anymore. He did love her. More than anything.
But for heaven's sake. Mike was just like any other person in the universe. Her continuous yelling and incessant nagging for the past few weeks was just pushing him to insanity. She was so moody. And hell, he couldn't deal with moody women -- that's why he normally left them before they woke up.
"Well?" He urged at her.
Abby stood, softening her look then just shaking her head. "Just turn off the TV Mike." She sighed, "I really need some sleep."
"Fine," Mike picked up the remote and switched the TV off, eyes never leaving her face, "You okay Abby?"
She directed her gaze towards him and nodded weakly, "Yeah. Just – I just have a lot in my system."
"Anything…you'd like to talk about?" Mike only said this of course because he loooved her. He didn't exactly want to hear about her problems since he was pretty crap at solving these things but if anything, he just wanted her to calm down. She was beginning to be like his mother at times.
"No – I mean yes – No…" Abby bit her lip and then posed a soft smile, "I'm just sleepy – and…um," She then paused as her eyes narrowed at him, "Have you been drinking?!"
"Don't change the subject," Mike warned with a nod but then eyed the beer bottles and shrugged, "Perhaps. A little…harmless…."
She frowned. "Mike, you have work."
He blinked, "Don't you?"
Abby opened her mouth but then just answered with a shake of the head.
No – my ass, Abby. Mike thought bluntly. She never missed work.
"Why?"
"I need to go somewhere."
"Where?"
"I need to do some of this research stuff for the…Mike, you really don't need to know." She smiled and stepped towards him, poking his nose with her finger, "Just get to bed, okay?"
"You're not cheating on me are you?" Mike accused, raising a brow.
Abby rolled her eyes, "Trust me. I wouldn't dare cheat on you. Darling," She smiled, "I just – I already told them at work, so it's settled. I just don't want you swaying around on the show tomorrow."
"I'm more honest when I'm on a hangover."
"No, you're a walking comatose when you're on a hangover," Abby nodded and kissed him briefly on the lips, "Bed." She instructed before beginning to pad up the staircase again.
Mike watched her leave, eyes deciding that perhaps it was time to hit the – whatever…But there was something that Abby wasn't telling him.
Maybe later. Right now, he was almost too drunk to really care.
Abby stumbled into the bedroom.
Oh God.
How was she going to tell him?
Well, perhaps she should wait till tomorrow. Perhaps the pregnancy test was wrong. Yes, she'd just have to see with the doctor.
Oh God.
That reminds her to buy lots of wine for tomorrow. Vodka. Perhaps if there was the chance the test wasn't lying – then…Mike wouldn't mind so much if he was drunk.
Oh, Abby what are we going to do?
A/N: After watching the movie, I just thought that something like this would be nice. :D I love their relationship (and Gerard), tis cute. And I need to write more fluff. R/R as usual.