Disclaimer: Me no own Lord of the Rings.
I watched Glorfindel do the unforgivable.
He was eating.
Now, I know what you might be thinking.
Why is that unforgivable? Did Glorfindel do something wrong? Have you gone crazy; food is a gift!
Yes, but you see, it's not the matter of him eating.
It was the matter of what he was eating.
Strawberries.
They were ripe red strawberries too, matching a red fire.
And you know what they also were?
They were mine.
My strawberries!
The annoying, blond, trying, irritating, wearisome, difficult, frustrating, tiresome, demanding, obnoxious, exasperating, irksome, grating, galling, unbearable, idiotic, maddening, vexing, inconvenient, incommodious, bothersome, niggling, nagging, bothersome, troublesome—
Okay, I could go on forever and ever, listing things that described Glorfindel, but the point is: He's eating my strawberries.
Nobody eats Erestor's strawberries!
I'd knock them out with a spoon, hang them by their toe, dangle them there for a few years, eat my strawberries in front of them, and then do something that will prevent them from ever having children again. Because the people that eat my strawberries tend to be a male Elf with blond hair, blue eyes, the title of a Balrog slayer, and an impressively huge ego.
Funny how that just matches the description of a person named Glorfindel perfectly.
"Erestor…you've been staring at me for the past few minutes. Is there something you wanted to talk about?"
Yes; I wanted to talk to you about tearing your head off and feeding it to my pet Balrog. "It's nothing. Do continue with what you were doing."
He went back to eating my strawberries.
Well, my mother said, "Always fight fire with fire."
Actually, it's a really funny story on how it led her to say that to me. I would tell you, but it's just a little bit long, really. The point is, I argued.
"But, naneth, what if you can't find any fire? What if there's water? Couldn't you use water? I thought water was supposed to extinguish fire!"
I was a VERY sharp elfling.
"Glorfindel," I sighed. "Why are you in my study anyway?"
"I was bored."
"That isn't a very legitimate reason."
"Do I need one?"
"Yes."
"I don't have one."
"Then get out."
"You need a legitimate reason to kick me out."
"This is my off—" I realized that this was my place, and I didn't need to have a reason to kick him out. "I DON'T NEED A LEGITIMATE REASON!"
"Yes you do. I asked you if I needed a legitimate reason and you said yes."
"I was referring to you!"
"But every Elf is made equal," he protested. "If it happens to me, it happens to you."
"THIS IS MY STUDY!"
"Thank you for pointing that out."
"LEAVE."
"No; you need a legitimate reason, Erestor."
…
"GLORFINDEL, IF YOU DO NOT GET THAT GONDOLIN ARSE UP AND OUT OF THIS STUDY, I WILL PERSONALLY REMOVE YOU FROM IT ALONG WITH YOUR ABILITY TO PRODUCE LITTLE ELFLINGS!"
His eyes widened. "My, Erestor, I never thought you were capable of such threats!" He smirked a smirk that only the arrogant Glorfindel of Gondolin could smirk. "Elrond won't be happy about this new revelation."
I narrowed my eyes. "Glorfindel. Get. Out."
"Oh, my dear Erestor, you know you love my company."
"I prefer being without your company."
Then he did something even more unforgivable; he held a strawberry (very, very tempting) in front of my face, smirking arrogantly.
"Go on; bite it. Bite your beloved strawberry."
"I'll bite your face off first."
Glorfindel sighed. "I'm trying to make a truce here."
"Leave."
I bet you know what happened next.
"E-Erestor…p-put down that b-book."
…ladidadidadidadida…
"OW!"
Fight fire with water?
Yeah right.
Why do that when you can use water to obliterate it?