Here's the first episode of Teen Titans Abridged- Season 01 =D
I want to see if people will like it and then I'll decide if I should keep going.
It's kind of fun,

But at the same time...IDK

Just please read and like =D

And by the way, when the voice is talking, I suggest picturing that part on the real episode and use this voice instead of the real one. I'm not saying I want you guys to stop supporting their works it's just that... *sighs* just read the disclaimer down there.

Disclaimer: All the characters of Teen Titans and the references used in this chapter belong to their proper owners. Please support the original works and don't waste anyone's time by suing someone who claims who owns NOTHING. Got that? I'm pathetic! Do you want to sue a pathetic person? =P

Voice:
We're here to interrupt your more interesting show with a less interesting one.
Brought to you by the wannabe rich kids' school's top losers.
In other words, the Hive Academy's top graduates.

-Scene Transition-

Gizmo, a.k.a, Dr. Octopus.
Look, I know the show's called Teen Titans,
But has anyone seen him in the comics?
He's a short dude with a mustache and a tied-up beard.
So why the flip is he a kid in this series?

And how old is he?
Is he a 15 year old midget or a third grader?
Make up your mind Warner Bros.!

-Scene Transition-

Jinx, the cheap imitation of the real character.
Seriously!
In the real comics, she's an elemental sorceress with the power to summon emerald flames and generate powerful force bolts.
But in this series,
She's a black cat with a purple fetish.
Yeah...so if you see her, hold up a four-leaf clover and you'll be just fine.

-Scene Transition-

Mammoth, a guy with long hair,
No real combat experience,
Wears tight clothes revealing his huge-ass arms,
And uses steroids like they're flipping Tic Tacs.
He's Jessica Alba that's what he is.

-Scene Transition-

These three were picked out of all the other losers- I-I mean students, to get their ass kicked by the Teen Titans. They can be yours if you call the number of 1-800-HIVES.

-TV Turns Off-

An old woman turns to the masked man sitting on a chair, viewing the screen with a nonchalant look in his...eye.

"Well?" she asked.

"I'll take 'em," Slade proclaimed.

The old woman raised a wrinkly brow, "Wait, seriously? You're not like...gonna give them a test or anything?"

"What are you talking about?" Slade eyed.

"You know," the old woman hinted, "Prove they're worthy by destroying a certain group of teenagers?..."

"The Jonas Brothers?"

"The Teen Titans!"

"Why would I wanna do that?" Slade queried, "Didn't the huge-ass mirror on the wall just tell me they were the top graduates in your academy?"

"Well, yes, it did," the woman admitted, "But apparently this episode's about how teenagers improve their self-esteem by ruining other people's lives."

"But don't schools have programs so it doesn't happen?" Slade countered, "You know, because of all the suicides and bringing weapons to school to kill people?"

"This is a Japanese cartoon," the woman reminded, "The main characters show how inspiring they can be by never going to school."

"So how do they know how to do stuff like hack computers and build cars?"

"I dunno," the woman shrugged.

-Opening Credits-

"Ugh," Cyborg grunted before lifting up the couch, "I can't believe you lost the remote!"

"How would you know I took it?" Beastboy barked after transforming back from his bloodhound form.

"Because you're you!"

Looking up from her book, "Why don't you guys just get up to the TV and change the channels manually?" Raven asked.

"Because we're superheroes!" Cyborg retorted, "If we can find crime, we can find the remote!"

"You can't even find Waldo on a 'Where's Waldo?' book," Raven retorted, "What makes you think you can find the remote?"

An animated anger icon popped out at the side of Cyborg's head before he turned to the navy-haired teenager, "O-oh yeah?" Cyborg fumed, "And how do we know the remote's not in your room?"

"Why would I have the remote in the room?" Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Oh c'mon! Do you really think you can get laid with that attitude?" Cyborg smirked,"Come to think of it, we're missing a couple of hotdogs in the refrigerator too."

"At least the refrigerator has weenies."

Cyborg growled and flames shot from his eyes, "Why you—"

The automatic sliding door opened and revealed Starfire and Robin talking while walking alongside each other, "And that's how you have Tameranian se-"

"What the f*** is going on in here?" Robin asked. He raised an eyebrow and noted how Cyborg and Raven were glaring at each other while Beastboy stood in the middle of it with an amused look on his face. This was obviously more entertaining to him than TV.

"We're trying to find the re-"

"Raven won't admit she's a hopeless virgin!"

"And Cyborg won't admit he'll never stop being one."

"WHAT?"

"Come the f*** down and shut up!" Robin demanded, "You can f*** each other all you want in combat practice this afternoon," he motioned his thumb behind him, "But right now, get me something to f****** eat. I'm f*******starving."

"And who do you think you are to boss us around like that?" Cyborg barked.

"The main character!"

"Son of a b-"

Not wanting to continue listening to her comrades fighting and breaking the fourth wall, Starfire skipped towards the refrigerator. Avoiding where the hotdogs were usually placed, Starfire crouched down and opened the fridge. She smiled at the sight of the blue smooze saying hi and waving at her in an animatedly cute fashion.

"Awe how cu-"

"SMOOOOOOOOOOOZE!" It roared.

"What?" Starfire shrieked, "But nobody can stop the smooze!"

Starfire screamed and shot a starbolt at the fridge, causing all the smooze to spread around the living room. The other four titans sweat-dropped as not only are they covered in smooze, but Starfire is ranting about its planning to take over the world.

"Oh f*** it let's just eat out."

"I want pickles and mint frosting!"

"I want the all-meat platter!"

"I want vegetarian!"

"I want someone to just order already."

"And I want you all to shut the f*** up!"

Everyone turned to a fuming Robin before complying to his request. Proud of his result, Robin smugly smirked, "Now that everyone has finally shut the f*** up, I'm deciding the order will be-"

-Scene Transition-

(What the crap did they just cut me off?)

"Gizmo to Jinx," Gizmo called through his headset, "Walk through the bus that's conveniently behind you."

"Why do we have to do this?" Jinx started, "If you're standing right there hidden with the titans all vulnerable, why don't you just kill them now with a rifle?"

"Because I f****** said so," he argued, "Now do what I say before I laser your ass."

"Okay," Jinx sighed before obeying the request. Jinx giggled and watched as the bus started moving down the hill and towards the baby in the carriage on the middle of the road. (A/N: Seriously...)

"Did Jinx do a good job?" Jinx asked.

"Yes, yes," Gizmo sighed, "Jinx did a very good job."

"Yay!"

-Scene Transition-

Few honks were heard from the distance and the five teenagers rose from their seats to see what it was. From the distance, a big blue bus is rapidly charging towards a baby in its carriage in the middle of the road.

"What the f***?" Robin muttered.

"What kind of parents leave their baby in the middle of the road like that?" Cyborg petitioned.

"Come to think of it, where the flip is our parents?" Beastboy asked.

There was a long pause and the five teens looked at each other with puzzled eyes. Remembering the situation, then turned back to their previous direction and gasped when they saw the bus a lot closer to the baby now.

"Umm," Beastboy noted, "We should probably save that baby."

After few nods and comments of correspondence, "Titans go!" Robin declared before the five jumped out of the pizza balcony and managed to stay in one piece.

"Good thing we're cartoons," Beastboy gleamed as they continued to make their way to save the day.

Robin took the baby carriage out of the scene before Cyborg stopped the bus with his hands. Appearing behind the half-robot, Raven used her magic to switch the bus's gear-shift to park.

Surprised at what just happened, "Why didn't you stop it when it was still way over there?" Cyborg demanded.

"Hey I can't do it as well as you do."

"Son of a b- Hey!- Doesn't busses usually have drivers?"

"And doesn't baby carriages normally have babies?" Robin asked before picking up a green obviously tampered teddy bear from the carriage.

"And doesn't good superheroes run away before something blows up?" The teddy bear asked before light formed in its eyes.

"What the f*** are you talking abo-"

Lasers shot of the teddy bear's eyes before blasting Robin, Starfire, and Beastboy across the street. Cyborg and Raven watched as the magical bus suddenly stood before and slammed them down to the concrete. (A/N: Why the flip didn't they move? .)

"Well that was easy," Gizmo said as Jinx and Mammoth joined him, "Take that Staples!"

"Why the f*** do they keep cutting me off?"

The three villains turned to see Robin, Starfire and Beastboy got back on their feet in a simple way while Cyborg cannoned the bus off him and Raven before getting back on their feet also in a simple way.

"What the?" Mammoth took a step back, "How the flip are you guys still alive?"

"Look, I know this is the first episode," Robin informed, "But everyone knows you can't die in a f****** cartoon just by being shot violently from across the street by highly radioactive lasers or being pulverized by a ten-ton bus."

"Who are you guys anyway?" Beastboy asked.

The five teenagers sweat-dropped when the three newbies did a dramatic pose.

"We're the Hive!" Gizmo announced, "And we're here to kick your bu-!"

"Okay okay wait!" Cyborg interjected, "This is the first episode and the first real action scene, and the villains get the firstintroductory bad-ass pose?"

"Hey you guys get the title sequence," Gizmo countered,.

"Bu-"

"So just shut up and fight us!"

-Censored Fighting Sequence!-

"Hey Cyborg!" Mammoth called out as he held down Cyborg's wrists, "Wanna know what people say after watching an Aquaman episode?"

Cyborg widened his eyes and turned to see Gizmo strapping a rocket on his back before he taking off in the sky, "OH FU-"

-Censored Fighting Sequence!-

"You fight like a boy," Jinx belittled as she continued to evade Raven's punches.

"You would know," Raven commented.

"Convenient Unseen Laser Shot GO!"

Raven's eyes grew big before Gizmo activated his laser beams once again.

"OH FU-"

-Censored Fighting Sequence-

Robin scowled at the sight of Gizmo showing how bad-ass he's being with his powerful lasers. He's technically doing all the work for his teammates and it's insulting him by making it look so easy.

"Time to show the viewers who's the real bad-ass in this show."

Robing smirked before walking towards Gizmo.

"Hey Dr. Octopus!" Robin taunted, "F*** Y-"

A boom was heard before Robin was suddenly interrupted by his own screams before plummeting into an underground water labyrinth.

From the bottom, Robin's voice was heard.

"ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME?" he was heard complaining, "Oh f*** it I'm gonna get some coffee!"

"Robin!" Beastboy called out as both he and Raven approached the water whole, "Damn it! Why can't it just be solid ground so we know he's still alright?"

"Now to finish you guys off!" Gizmo proclaimed.

(A/N: Do it and I'll F*** your ass!)

"Ugh fine we'll just go to give them some dramatic screen time."

(A/N: Damn right you will!)

"I can't believe he just ditched us!" Beastboy said before sitting on one of their unnecessarily countless couches.

"I can't believe it's not butter," Raven muttered.

"What?"

"N-nothing," Raven stuttered before kneeling down next to him, "Here let me heal your thigh. You seem to be rubbing it a lot lately so I assume you're in a lot pain."

'This is it,' Beastboy inwardly cheered. He tensed when he saw her hands over his thighs, but was disappointed when her hand didn't even touch him. It just...glowed.

"There," Raven got back up to stand next to him, "Better?"

"Yeah," Beastboy muttered disappointingly, "Sure, why not."

"Good," Raven gleamed, "I learned that by training under Tsunade-"

"Wrong series Rae," Beastboy informed.

The two turned to the gigantic doors to see Cyborg and Starfire walk in.

"Man I thought I was screwed when that lion from Narnia told me I should find use the force or something," Cyborg chuckled, "So tell me, how'd we kick their ass?"

"We didn't" Raven muttered.

"Where's Robin?" Starfire queried.

"He ditched us for coffee," Beastboy muttered.

"We looked everywhere. Including all the cafes," Raven added, "We couldn't find him."

"What the f***?" Starfire bewildered, "What the f*** do you mean? People don't just f****** disappear!"

"Wow, calm down Starfire!" Beastboy pleaded.

"She obviously hangs around with Robin too much," Raven muttered.

"Don't worry Star!" Beastboy assured, "He's a main character! Nothing bad's gonna happen to him!"

Cyborg opened his mouth to retort.

"I said a Cyborg, not the."

"Oh okay then."

A knock was heard and the four turned to the unnecessarily huge-ass doors.

Starfire gasped, "Even if the chances are vague, I shall walk obliviously towards the doors and assume it's Robin!"

She walked towards the door, then got blasted back along with it.

"Oh no" Beastboy muttered as the four encountered with the three losers again.

"Oh yes," Jinx literally slid to the center. (A/N: Seriously...)

"You were lucky last time!" Cyborg threatened, "But you're in our house now!"

"Yeah nice place," Gizmo complimented, "We'll take it!"

Starfire gasped, "No!" she pleaded, "Please! Not our home!"

"Relax Starfire," Cyborg assured, "We're main characters too! Nothing bad everhappens to us!"

Flashing Starfire a thumbs up, "They're not gonna take our-"

The four stood outside on an island near their home island and stared at the "H" that was conveniently done is such a short notice.

Cyborg clenched his fists and raised them in the air, "SON OF A B-"

"Ugh," Mammoth grunted when he saw that every piece of food in the refrigerator were covered in blue smooze. He took a moldy hamburger before observing its structure. After a few seconds, he shrugged before tossing it in his mouth.

Gizmo watched the sight and stretched his tongue out in disgust, "Damn they got nothing to eat here?"

"How 'bout these hotdogs?"

Mammoth and Gizmo turned to see Jinx holding a couple of sticky-looking hotdogs in her hands.

Raising an eyebrow,"Where the flip did you get those hotdogs?" Gizmo asked.

"In the blue chick's room," she muttered.

"But why would they be i-"

Both Gizmo and Jinx shivered at the same guess and gasped when Mammoth reached out to get them.

Taking one in his hand, "Are these cooked?" he asked.

"No..." Jinx muttered, "But I don't think-"

"Mmm salty!"

"EWW!"

"So," Beastboy muttered, "Teen Titans is over?"

"What are you talking about? It's only the first episode!"

The four titans turned their heads and gasped to see their leader shining under the sunlight.

"What the?" Cyborg scowled and gritted his teeth, "You ditch us so we can rot in our doom and then suddenly show up in the last minute in bright light like so the viewers can assume we're nothing without you?' he demanded, "What the flip man?"

Showing the cup of coffee he held in his hand, "I got some coffee," he responded.

"What the crap?" Beastboy demanded, "What the flip took so long?"

"Uhh," Robing scratched the back of his head, "There was a long line?"

"You got drunk and danced in clubs again didn't you?" Raven guessed.

Robin forced a bewildered face, "What are you talking about?" he denied, "I have no idea what you're -hic- talking about!"

"Then why can't you stand up straight?"

"F*** you that's why!"

"Can we just go save the tower already?" Cyborg sighed tiredly.

Robin inched back in surprise before making a cheeky grin, "Ohhhh yeaaah," he slurred, "Suuuuuureeee."

"But how are we going to fight them with Robin all drunk?" Beastboy mentioned.

Cyborg turned to Raven, "You still know that spell."

Raven smirked before her hands and eyes glowed a black shine, "Oh flip yes," she sneered before walking towards Robin.

"Heyyy what are yo- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Let's look through their music and see if they have good music."

Gizmo reached out the to get a CD before reading it and frowned.

"Kidsbop 1"

He reached out for another CD and frowned again.

"Kidsbop 2"

While Gizmo continued to read and toss away other Kidsbop CDs, Cyborg's arm somehow came to life and used its fingers to walk towards the control systems to activate the alarms.

"Its a good thing I'm made from Japan," the arm said before using metallic tentacles to drag Gizmo somewhere else in the tower.

"Father no!" Gizmo pleaded before disappearing.

"Magical giant raven claw grab go!"

Jinx eyes grew wide before being dragged upwards by that giant black claw.

"What the f- AHH!" Mammoth grunted before getting shot away by a starbolt.

-Censored fighting sequence-

"Yes! I finally get a belt to hold up my pants!" Robin said as he held it up in the air before putting it back on his waist. Turning to his teammates, "By the way, where did my other belt go?"

"Raven found it!" Cyborg answered.

"Where the f*** is my belt now Raven?"

"Uhh"

Holding Robin's belt evilly in her hands, "Yes!" she cheered, "I finally have his belt! With this scoring device, I won't ever have to use those stupid hotdogs again!"

Evil laughs.

"I lost it," Raven quickly answered, "Sorry..."

Sighing, "That's okay," Robin assured, "Since I'm a cartoon, I obviously don't have any other fashion senses. So I stick to the same outfit by having millions of them and make viewers wonder if I ever bathe."

"But enough of that. Titans!" he called, "Now it's time for our introductory bad-ass pose!"

Soon all the titans got with Robin in their positions for their cool pose.

"Ahhh yeee" Robin smirked.

"Aww man," Gizmo whined, "I hate plot twists."

-Censored Fight Scene-

"Aww man," Gizmo whined, "Slade's not gonna be happy..."

Robin stormed towards him and grabbed him by the collar, "Who's Slade?" he demanded.

Gizmo smirked, "A guy who's really gonna like this recording."

"What the f*** are you talking abo-"

-Scene Transition-

(Are you f****** kidding me?)

"Sorry our students have failed," the old woman apologized.

"That's okay," Slade assured, "At least they got me something to add to my collection."

The woman raised an eyebrow, "What are you—"

"Who's Slade?" the recording of Robin's voice asked.

"Hehe," Slade chuckled, "Now to mess with the rewind button."

"Who"

"Ooo"

"Ooo"

"Ooo"

"Slade"

"Slade"

"Slade"

"Slade"

"Ahh yes!" he cheered, "This is better than Joe's!"

"Umm," the old woman whispered, "Can I go now?"

"Huh? Oh!" Slade responded without taking his eyes of the screen, "Sure it's my alone time now anyway."

"Okay then..."

Hope ya guys like it! =D

And by the way, the parentheses after the scene transitions is Robin's voice talking during the next scene.

And yes, I say flip not f*** or hell. Just take the *** in the words as that bleeping censored sound so it sounds amusing xD

Please read, like, and review!

I wanna see if I can make this a regular saga for me and join the other "In-Progress" works I'm working on =)