Friends Again
by Hana Tenshi
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS so don't sue me. I don't get a single penney out of this.
I just stood there, leaning on the railing of the second-floor hallway, watching my former schoolmates below with cold, impassive eyes. I could care less what all of them are up to for the past years. My friends were somewhere down in that crowd and they would probably come looking for me. They were the ones who convinced me to come to this bullshit. I didn't want to come back to the place where all my grief started and I didn't want people coming to me, symphatizing with what happened. I don't need that shit. Nothing will make things go back to the way it used to be before. I had learned the painful truth that holding on some belief will not make things go your way, that things will suddenly change. Life is not a fairy tale.
I sighed. All these things made my head ache. There were so many people and the music was loud. I'm getting irritated by it. I pushed myself off the railing. Maybe I should tell my friends where they would find me. On the other hand, they would text me if they wanted to find me. I started going down the stairs with my head bowed. I pulled my hat lower so it would cover more of my face. I hoped that no one will recognize me. I continued on my way, pushing through the throng of people that were on the grounds. As much as I want to enjoy this day, there was just no way around it with my current mood. Finally, I reached the canteen. There were little people in this area. I just hope that no one's in my place. I ascended the stairs to the registrar's office. There's a balcony there that people rarely go to.
That place held so many memories for me. It was memories of him. A small smile formed on my lips when I found out that the place was empty. The breeze was blowing freely and the place was quiet. It was so serene. I stepped on the cemented benches that were there and sat on the railing. It was pretty dangerous, I know. One slip and you fall to your death. But, it was also the way that he sat when we were here. I remember that I would always scold him when he did it because I'm scared that he might fall off. He would only smile at me. I looked across and one memory hit me. That was where we were sitting when he first french-kissed me. I was shocked to say the least. I sighed and looked up at the sky. There's no use remembering those times knowing that they will never come back again. Come to think of it, this was also the place where I attempted to cut my wrist that day before the graduation.
A sad smile crept unto my face then before I knew it, a small tear escaped my eye. I just let it roll down. It was a sign of my pain, my grief. I would like to show it to the world, even though I am alone. People always thought of me as a happy person. They didn't know how wrong they were. I might had been, but that was long ago. That me is already dead, the one they see right now is just an illusion of the old me. Another tear followed and soon rivers were crashing down onto the ground. I had admitted a long time ago that I still love that jerk. What a fool I am. I was so engulfed in my grief that I didn't notice that someone came up.
"Sakura-chan?"
I snapped back to reality because of the voice. I hastily wiped my face and looked at the person who was there. I was shocked to find out who it was.
"Syaoran-kun?"
He smiled and went to sit at the bench that I was stepping on.
"Don't sit there. You might fall off." I just stared at him. I couldn't believe what I'm seeing. The man that I loved with all my heart and shattered it into pieces was sitting beside me, telling me to come down because he's afraid that I might fall off. It was so surreal. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, not knowing whether I'm dreaming, hallucinating or if it was for real.
He noticed me just staring at him and he tugged at my arm. Ok, he's real, I felt that tug. I stood up and proceeded to sit at the space beside him. I just looked at the ground, finding my worn out shoes to be very interesting. An akward and tense silence enveloped us. After a few minutes, he decided to talk.
"Why are you here alone? Where's Daidouji-san and Eriol?" his voice sounded concern.
"They're hanging out with their friends. They haven't seen them for awhile. We always see each other. I don't like it there. So many people and the music's way too loud. They'll text me if they're looking for me." I said in a low monotone voice. I could tell that he was surprised with the way that I answered. I couldn't blame him. This was not the way that he knew me.
"Why are you here too? Where's Meiling-san?" I was still looking at the ground. I could feel him looking at me intently.
"This is place is quiet. She's with her friends. Aren't they your friends too?"
I nodded my head. "I already met them awhile ago. I just want to be alone."
"Do you want me to leave then?" he said while he stood up. I grabbed his hand and shook my head no. I wanted to be close to him, even for a short amount of time. He sat back again beside me. Another blanket of silence enveloped us. He's here but I don't know what to say to him. This is my chance to say to him that I still love him and yet I'm acting like a mute.
I felt something shift under my right hand. That was the time that I realized that I was still holding his hand. I pulled back like I was burned by fire. I felt so embarassed and looked at the ground again. "I'm sorry"
"For what? For holding my hand?" I didn't answer. What could I say? He hit it right on the spot. He sighed. He took my hand and held it in his. I was surprised. I know for sure that there's a blush on my face.
"Sakura-chan, look at me." his voice was serious but I still wouldn't look at him. I didn't want him to know that he still had that effect on me. He repeated what he said, this time firmer. I have no choice but to comply.
I took in the changes that time did to him. His hair was long, it reached upto his shoulders. His facial feature was no longer the cute boy that I fell in love with but one of a handsome young man. His body was more built and he was tall too. But he still wears that black ensemble of him. I wonder if he'll ever change that one.
I looked at him in the eye for a brief moment before shifting my gaze right beside him. I felt uncomfortable looking at him eye to eye. I felt that he can tell whatever it is that I'm feeling if I look at him directly.
"I'm the one who's supposed to be saying sorry." he said quietly. I was confused. I didn't know what he's talking about.
"Why?"
"Because I made you cry. I told you it hurts me when I see you cry." Huh? Where'd he get that? But I could tell that he really meant what he said.
"If you're talking about what happened before, it's all in the past. You don't need to apologize again to me for it. I have accepted the fact that we're not together a long time ago." I said.
"But that's the reason why you were crying awhile ago." he pointed out. How the hell did he know?
"How can you be so sure?" I countered him. He rubbed my hand with his thumb and my blush deepened because of this act.
"I wouldn't have found you crying in here if that's the case." I was dumbfounded. Damn, he's sharp.
"I would like to make it up to you, but I don't know how." He looked so sad when he said that. That made me smile a little.
"We can be friends again?" I suggested. He looked at me confused.
"You can make it up to me by letting me know that I'm still your friend." His eyebrows were knitted a little.
"But you are always my friend." he said, frowning a little.
"I wouldn't know because you suddenly stopped communicating with me at all. The last time we talked, you sounded really cold and the last time we met, it's like we don't know each other at all. Those things are enough to make me think that we are not friends anymore although I don't know what I did to make you act like that."
His frown turned into a sad expression again and looked away. "I'm sorry... I didn't know I made you feel that way. I really am an asshole."
I frowned at him when he said that. Although what he said about himself wass true, I still didn't want him degrading himself like that. I tugged at his hand to make him look at me.
"Hey stop that. Don't talk like that to yourself." I said, reproaching him.
"But what I said was true." Hell yeah, you're right, it was true. I wanted to tell him that but I'm too nice to even do that.
"Just let me know that we're friends and I'll be ok. You don't need to email me or whatever. Just knowing that we are friends is ok with me."
"Of course you're my friend. You'll always be my friend." I smiled at him when I heard that.
"Alright."
Another silence enveloped us after that. But this time it's a comfortable one. We were just enjoying the quietness of the place and the presence of one another. We stayed like that for awhile, making small talks at times. The moment was broken however when his cellphone beeped. He got his cell and read the text message. I knew our time together was up.
He pulled back his hand and stood up. "I got to go. Meiling-chan's looking for me already."
I nodded and smiled understandingly. "OK" I also stood up then.
"It's nice seeing you again. And remember that we'll always be friends, ok Sakura-chan?" he pinched my cheeks at that. I smiled, sticking my tongue at him.
"Hai, Syaoran-kun."
He nodded and turned around, starting to walk towards the stairs. I watched him go but when he was half-way through, an idea suddenly hit me. I ran towards him.
"Wait!"
He turned around to face me. When I reached him, I tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek. I ran after that, not daring to look at his reaction. I shouted bye at him before I descended down the stairs.
-THE END-
Author's Note: Whew! Finally finished that. This story just randomly entered my mind and decided to write it. I don't know if the story's good so please let me know. I might follow this up if I get some positive reviews about it. Ja na!