It was a cool spring night and I was spending it sitting on the porch of my little cottage staring up into the green canopy of the forest and the bright moonlight filtering in to my swampy front yard while I wrote down the day's magical research in my journal. This day had been a long one, filled with all manner of trivial obstructions to my work, and I had quite a bit to record. Angela's visit had been pleasant. I worried for her as she grew older and, though I tried not to admit it to myself, I worried for Wizard's well-being as he was soon to face the loss of his partner. Angela was a dear friend to me and even in the entering to her autumn years she still tolerated my childish ways. When you're as old as I am there isn't much left but to revert to childhood rather than a jaded outlook on the world. I suppose I'm much different from the Wizard in that way.
Just as I went to close my journal and head inside I felt Neith, the strange daughter of my best friend and my oldest friend, enter my domain. Her aura felt troubled as she easily wove her way to the heart of the forest and I decided it better to wait for her to arrive where I sat. It wasn't long before she came down the path and across the bride in my swamp to my little cottage. She looked worried about something and kept tucking strands of her long silvery hair behind her ears as she took in her surroundings. I always thought it was strange that Gale's children had been born with his current silver hair rather than his original rich black or Angela's chestnut. Perhaps the age his body had incurred over the years and the magic he was draped in had gone so far as to affect the inheritance pattern in his progeny. I made a little note of my thought in my journal and then readied myself to greet my not-so-expected guest.
"Halt, mortal, and pay homage to the Witch Princess! I need a new quill, gimme!" I demanded with a little giggle and held out my hand to Neith as she approached. It was true of course, the quill tucked into my journal was getting a bit worn and I could use a new one; I never asked for things that weren't appropriate to the time at hand.
She looked uncomfortable and frustrated at my demand. "Are you kidding me? I'm not my father. I don't just carry quills around. I've got a ballpoint pen, if you want it." I rolled my eyes as she stuffed her hand into her pockets and drew out two modern pens, one blue and one black. Angela was so much better at this game than Neith. Come to think of it Angela was better at this game than anyone I'd met in a long time, maybe that's one of the reasons I liked her so much.
"Is that what I asked for, silly girl? Get those things away from me." I said with a dismissive flick of my hand. "Now what are you here for? I'm feeling relatively talkative tonight so let's get to it." Neith scrunched her eyebrows in a rather unattractive manner at that and shoved the pens back into her pocket.
"My father", she said in a frustrated tone that made me wonder what exactly it was Gale had said, "told me I ought to come talk to you. He says I shouldn't commit myself to a master and becoming a witch because I'll end up taking bonds of immortality. I disagree." Snappish as ever, I thought with an internal sigh. I knew Neith didn't get along with me because she thought me childish, but Gale was right to have sent her to me. I gathered my energy to prickle up my personality at Neith's statement. I needed to draw on all my feelings about immortality for this one and turn them to something more productive than depression. I didn't see it as a "scared-straight" tactic like Wizard might have but I understood what he was trying to save his daughter from.
"Oh little Child Witch, you understand so little. Mortal witches exist you know, some of my best friends have been mortal witches. But the Wizard has a valid point, approaching a true master will most certainly end with you casting the spells of immortality. Now that might seem nice at first but immortality pretty much sucks in the long run." I crinkled my nose up at that last statement and then scooted over on the steps of my porch and patted the space I'd made, intending for Neith to sit down with me. She huffed and plopped down alongside me, but at such a distance I felt that she was trying to stay as far away as possible. A disgruntled sigh escaped my lips as I turned to the silver-haired girl.
"How am I supposed to get a magical education if I can't take a master? Immortality can't be that terrible a price to pay." Neith said, pouting. Childish, truly. For such a brilliant girl she really lacked foresight. Not much different from myself in the past when I thought about it too hard. After all, at this point I was just avoiding my past in order to approach the future with some semblance of being carefree. I looked down into my hands and pressed them together with a long sigh. When I opened my hands there was a white lotus cradled between them. Neith's lips curled up with intrigue and she leaned over to look at the elegant bloom. I lifted my hands to my face and kissed the petals gently before blowing a magic breath and watching it flutter off into the night.
"Your time with loved ones will seem so short if you become immortal, a pain I've faced many times. The Wizard is feeling that pain now, as he watches Angela grow old and you and your brother grow up. Is knowledge valuable enough that you would give away your happiness? Is any spell worth losing a chance at family, and seeing the ones that you love die? Impermanence is beautiful, and in some eyes perfect. Immortality will bring you greater sadness than you yet understand. Magic can be taught to you by others, who you are ignoring in your own self-absorption. That lotus wasn't so easy to conjure as you might have thought, and it was a dear mortal friend who taught me that trick. I don't know what you consider a real master, but your father is one of the finest magicians I've ever met and I'm recognized by the Sabveta Draíochta Stranu as a Potions Master." I fidgeted with my bracelet without thinking about it, and frowned out into the night. I felt silly lecturing Neith, especially when I'd made many mistakes in this area myself, but it felt like this was what Gale had wanted of me.
"It just… feels like letting go of an opportunity. Everyone says I have so much potential but neither of you want me to become as great as you are."
"Go study at a University, you silly girl. Ask your father to teach you. There's no spell on you holding you back. I'm not poisoning your tea. Appreciate the things that you have right in front of you and stop living in the clouds!" I stood up from the porch and stamped my foot at that last sentence. I slapped my hand against the doorway and snapped a couple magic words as I slid it across the surface. A slimy swatch appeared where I had touched; it glowed iridescently before becoming the image of Neith's family and friends. "Imagine this. You leave them, to study, with the potential of never coming back. They age while you're gone." I slapped the door again and with the resounding thud 20 years added onto each of the faces, except for the Wizard's of course. "Now even if you weren't gone for long, what happens when you take bonds of immortality?" Neith's lip quivered and I put my left hand on my hip as I dragged my right hand across the slimy window to the future, hissing a few more magic words. The faces aged and withered, fading one by one from the patch. In just a few seconds only Wizard's face remained. "This will happen to every person you meet and every person you love. In the end it's just a bunch of us immortals, embittered." I sighed and lowered my hand from the door as I allowed the magic to disperse. Neith began to cry, her face growing ever more frustrated, before she stood from the porch and ran from me into the forest. I regretted being so harsh with her almost immediately, it wasn't the sort of thing I liked to do to people. But a little pain now would save her from a long, long lifetime of pain.
I trudged into my house, twisting the bracelet around my wrist, and tossed my journal onto the sofa before crashing down onto my bed face first. It felt melodramatic, but entirely necessary. The meeting might have gone more effectively, might have even ended with Neith and I becoming friends. But who needs more friends when all you do is lose them? I bit back my tears and clutched my pillow tight to me as I tried to push away my thoughts. All the friends that I'd loved so much. The witch girls I'd met who'd chosen not to take the bonds. The few men who'd won my heart completely. It took so long to get over them. That's why I was in the woods now, so I wouldn't get hurt so often. Yet, it was so terribly lonely here and I questioned if the loneliness was worth the lack of pain. Occasionally another would wander in and if I was in the mood I would speak with them. As had happened with Angela I would open myself to them without being aware of it, ending up feeling as though I'd been cursed with the very fate I'd been trying to avoid. I didn't want that for Neith, I didn't want that for anyone. Not ever. I clasped at the bracelet again and felt the warmth of my lost friends there, reminding me that my relationships weren't for nothing in that singular token of their love. It tasted bittersweet though. Angela would die soon and I would be alone until someone else braved the fearsome stories that were told about me and Wizard would be left with the pain I felt. People always told me that loving freely was a virtue but it certainly didn't mix with losing with certainty.