ok this is really depressing. well i felt depressed while i was writing it but i might be biased. :) please read and review. this is about jacob. they don't get into detail about how the imprinting feels for him so i fabricated my own ideas. :) enjoy i guess!
Numb. That's what it was. Sure he didn't feel that pain that he used to every time he looked at Bella but this felt strange.
He loved Renesmee, he knew he did. She was destined for him and him for her. Maybe it was fate's way to make it up to him that he could never have Bella or maybe fate was playing a sick joke by making him imprint his loves daughter.
He could still feel his love for Bella in the back of his heart. Like a memory that he knew and couldn't quite remember. He knew how much he used to love her and he still loved her the same way he just couldn't feel it anymore. But he knew without a doubt that it was there. Every time he looked at Bella he felt it overpower him and threaten to break out of its protective bubble that sealed it away and kept him imprinted, kept his feelings inside.
He would look at Bella and know that he loved her and look at Nessie and feel that same love just redirected. He knew that the imprint made Him love Renesmee, made him feel the love for Nessie that was meant for Bella. But the numbness was such a relief.
He just let it wash over him in gentle waves. Felt the smoothness wash over him and try to erase the traces of his love for Bella but it had no effect. They marks remained and the imprint settled on forbidding him from feeling his love for her. They made him be numb and to feel nothing except loving Nessie and everything that entailed.
But He could live with being numb. It wasn't that bad. It was better than the pain. At the time the pain had made sure that he still loved Bella but now he could have the knowledge without the pain. He could watch her kiss Edward and know that it hurt him but not have to feel that pain.
The numbness controlled him, enveloped him and took away his free will to feel. Not that he really regretted it. That was the problem he supposed there was with traditions and myths. Nobody ever thought to challenge them so when they finally found someone who would for their first love they destroyed his resolve by giving him what he wanted.
They took away his pain. Oh it was still there but he couldn't feel it and that was what mattered. He could just smile and pretend that he didn't know the pain that was inside him just trying to burst out and make him feel the agony. Maybe he was going crazy. If he was than craziness was bliss.
He embraced the Numbness and let it consume him. Grinning as he left is feelings on the other side of the wall incasing his feelings and grasped at the painless love he could feel for Nessie. Oh the relief. Well there would have been relief if he could have felt it. He smiled at Nessie and ignored the knowledge of his love for Bella as long as he could, as long as he was with Renesmee. Oh to be crazy without pain, to love without pain.
hope you liked it. kinda weird i know. i don't really think imprinting is like this it was just an idea. pretty please review i will be ridiculously happy :)