A/N: So we had an epiphany today. Mean Girls: AI Edition!
Cast is as follows:
Cady: Extraordinary Girl
Aaron: Tunny
Regina: Heather
Janis: Whatsername
Damian: Johnny
Gretchen: Aspen Vincent
Karen: Libby Winters
Jason: Jimmy
Kevin Gnapoor: Will
Mr. Duvall: Billie Joe Armstrong
Ms. Norbury: Adrienne Armstrong
Cady's Dad: Mike Dirnt
Cady's Mom: Brittney Cade
Coach Carr: Tre Cool
Regina's Mom: Claudia Suarez
Students: Ensemble Members
Hope you enjoy! Will be putting more up eventually, but it's way too much to write at once.
Thanks to Twinsie (AKA Whatsername01) for helping me brainstorm but then losing it all to fucking Yahoo chat…
REVIEW PLEASE!
Disclaimer: I don't own AI, or Green Day, or Mean Girls!
Here's the link to the cover!
http: / twitpicDOTcom/3vk3t0
(PS DOT is a . and fill in the spaces)
Mike Dirnt: Ok, so…*tearing up* Time for you to go to *bawling* REAL SCHOOL!
Brittney Cade: It's ok, dear…
Mike Dirnt: JUST GO!
EG: Dad, stop it…people are staring.
Brittney Cade: GO BEFORE YOU GIVE YOUR FATHER A HERNIA!
EG: Ok….
***in school***
EG: So being the new girl kind of sucks. We used to travel all over the place because my dad was in a band and-
Wallace: Are you talking to yourself?
EG: IT'S NARRATION!
Wallace: Uh-huh….
EG: So I was homeschooled. We finally decided to settle down in a nice little town in California.
Wallace: *to others* Seriously. She's talking to herself.
EG: My name is Cady.
Wallace: Do we look like we care?
EG: JUST SHUT UP, ASSHOLE!
*bell rings*
EG: *goes to sit down*
Whatsername: Don't sit there.
EG: Wh-?
Johnny: Leslie McDonel's boyfriend sits there.
EG: Oh. *goes to sit behind Declan*
Whatsername: Don't sit there either…
EG: *moves*
Declan: *turns around* Assholes…
Johnny: Oh my God. Is that you're natural hair color?
EG: I…um…
Johnny: *grabs her head* See? This is what I want to do with my hair.
EG: Ok…
Whatsername: That's Johnny. He's almost too gay to function.
Johnny: That's only ok when she says that…
EG: And you are…?
Whatsername: Just call me Whatsername. Ok?
EG: Alright, then…
*Enter Adrienne*
Adrienne: Ok! Hi class!
Billie Joe: *runs in* THINK FAST! *spills coffee*
Adrienne: Dear, did you pour coffee on me?
Billie Joe: Fuck no. Why would I do that?
EG: Is this for real?
Whatsername: Uh-huh…*rolls eyes*
Billie Joe: I just came in to fucking congratulate my best buddy's kid for coming to fucking real school. Where are you, Caddy?
EG: It's Cady. Like Katie.
Billie Joe: Ok! Well, I'm fucking out of here then! Oh, Adrienne, your shirt is see through.
Adrienne: Yeah….thanks.
***later***
*in the hallway*
Johnny: MOVE! PART THE RED SEA! Etc…
EG: So…would you consider us friends?
Whatsername: if you'd like, Caddy.
EG: It's Cady.
Whatsername: I'm gonna call you Caddy.
EG: Ok…that's fine too.
Johnny: *eyes widen* HOLY FUCK! *pulls down poster* THEY'RE ALREADY ADVERTISING THE SPRING FLING! I'M LATE!
Whatsername: It's September, Johnny…
Johnny: I know! But I have to beat those bitches! I WILL BE THIS SCHOOL'S NEXT SPRING FLING QUEEN!
Everyone: *confused glares*
Johnny: I mean king.
Whatsername: Wow, Johnny Cakes, you really out-gayed yourself.
Johnny: Thanks…HEY!
Whatsername: So what do you have next?
EG: Uh…health.
Johnny: I know where that is!
Whatsername: in the back building.
Johnny: In the back b-? *gets elbowed in the chest* Oh yeah. In the back building.
EG: ok. I trust you guys…
*they walk out to the football fiels*
EG: Where's the back building?
Whatsername: It burned down after Billie Joe got drunk one time.
Johnny: Fucking awesome.
EG: Oh…But wait. I'm skipping?
Johnny: Don't worry, Caddy. We got your back.
EG: Really?
Johnny: Ye-! OH MY GOD!
EG: Thanks, Johnny.
Johnny: Plastics!
Whatsername: Eew. Look away before you throw up.
EG: What are you talking about?
Whatsername: That clique right there. See the brunette one? That's Aspen Vincent.
EG: Ok.
Whatsername: She knows everything about everyone.
Johnny: It's creepy.
Whatsername: The little blonde one? That's Libby Winters.
Johnny: Dumbass.
EG: Who's that?
Whatsername: That is the face of the devil. Heather Daniels.
***cutaway sequence***
Alysha: Once, Heather Daniels punched me in the face. It was awesome.
Theo: She met John Stamos on plane and he told her she was pretty.
Chase: I hear she does car commercials. In Japan.
***back to real life***
Johnny: She's a total bitch. Like she started this rumor about Whatsername that-!
Whatsername: JOHNNY! Please…
Johnny: Sorry…
EG: And that was the first time I saw Heather Daniels.
Johnny: Are you talking to yourself?
EG:…
***at lunch***
EG: *walking*
Heather: Oh my God. You're new.
EG: Yeah…
Heather: Sit down.
EG: No thanks…
Heather: SIT!
EG: Yes ma'am. *sits*
Heather: So your dad knows Billie Joe?
EG: Uh…yeah…
Aspen: That is just, like, so totally fetch.
Heather: What is fetch?
Aspen: It's a new word…from…England.
Libby: So…if you know Billie Joe…why are you here?
Aspen: Honey? Just stop before you hurt yourself.
Libby: *nods*
Heather: Oh my God….um. What happened to your head?
EG: What do you mean?
Aspen: It looks like a lawn mower ate it.
EG: Oh….um…
Jimmy: *randomly popping up* Hi. I'm conducting a lunchtime survey for new students.
EG: Ok.
Jimmy: Is your muffin buttered?
Guys: *snicker*
EG: What?
Jimmy: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Aspen: You were supposed to call me last night…
Jimmy: Well…c'est la vie.
Heather: Jimmy, you're not wanted here.
Theo: NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY JIMMY! *huggles him*
Jimmy: Dude…you're embarrassing yourself…
Heather: *to EG* Do you wanna have sex with him?
EG: No…
Heather: Ok. That's settled. *looks at watch* I'll be back…
Aspen: So…see any cute guys?
EG: Well…one…there's this guy in my Calculus class. His name is Tunny-!
Libby: No!
Aspen: NO! Tunny's Heather's ex. Friends just don't do that.
EG: Friend?
Aspen: Well, yeah…if we're gonna be friends you've gotta play by the rules.
EG: Really? Um, wow.
Libby: On Wednesdays we wear pink!
Aspen: So don't let us down.
EG: I…um…I have to go to the bathroom…
Libby: We'll come with you!
EG: Uh, alone.
Libby: Oh. *watches her leave*
Aspen: She probably needs some Cady time.
Libby: *nods*
***in the bathroom***
Whatsername: They asked you to WHAT?
EG: Sit with them.
Johnny: *laughs*
Leslie: Eew! What are you doing in the girl's bathroom?
Johnny: I AM A QUEEN!
Leslie:….
Johnny: Go run….
EG: I dunno…Heather seems….sweet.
Whatsername: She's not sweet! She's a life-ruining skanky whore-bitch!
Johnny: Emphasis on the whore-bitch.
Whatsername: She's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives,
EG: Well, why don't I like…you know…spy on her?
Johnny: Caddy has an idea!
Whatsername: That…that might just work….
Johnny: Mwuahaha. We're so evil.
EG: But I need to find something to wear tomorrow. Do you guys have anything pink?
Whatsername: *disgusted* No.
Johnny: YES!
EG: Well, ok then. Tomorrow we begin. And I was prepared for anything that came my way.
Leslie: Are you talking to yourself?
EG: JUST GO AWAY!
A/N: Tada! Johnny Cakes is love.
Reviews?