Happy birthday Matt-kun! This is for you!
Warnings: Very profane in the beginning—but then it mellows out (hahahaha, no pun intended)…but just a bit. Yaoi (MalexMale, boyxboy, Shounen-Ai, Gay guys, you get the point)—MattxMello…because I guess Mello's kind of Uke in this. Please enjoy!

"Bitch."

"Fail Whale."

"Fucker."

"Noob."

"You suck."

"You're a fail to humans everywhere."

"I'm the best."

"I pwn you."

"I'm on top."

"That could be misconstrued as sexual."

"Your head's always in the fucking gutter."

"That may be true, but it's better than where you want it to be."

"…"

"I mean sucking your dick."

"You're a bitch."

"You're not denying it."

"YOU—!"

"Don't bother. I know what you're going to say. By the way, you know what tomorrow is, right?"

"…"

"February first."

"…?"

"My birthday, genius."

"I'm more so one than you."

"Don't make me go Super Mario on your ass."

"I bet you'd like that."

"I bet you would, too."

"…"

"…"

"…e you…"

"What was that?"

"I said…ve you."

"I can't hear you~"

"Forget it."

"You said something. I want to know."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Absolutely not—I hate cherries."

"Pretty please with a dozen chocolate bars on top?"

"Now that's a bit better."

"So—?"

"Still a no."

"You suck."

"Yeah, I bet you like that, don't'cha?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I can't stand it."

"So you say."

"…"

"So what did you say?"

"I'm not telling!"

"Such a childish thing to say."

"Fuck you."

"I'd be willing to bet that you'd like to."

"…"

"And sticking your tongue out like that. That's real mature."

"…Fine, you wanna know what I said?"

"Yes."

"Fine, I said—"

*DING DONG*

"Stupid clock, ringing midnight."

"So you said…?"

"Fine. *!"

"Jeez, no need to run away so fast. I'd've walked away anyway—I heard him the first few times. Just wanted to make him say it again."

*I love you bye bye now I have something to do. Just in case you guys couldn't figure it out. ^^U

Welp, here ya go! My story for Matt-kun's birthday. I love you, Matt-kun!
Anyway, this is the first installment of my M to the Second Power story. Just a bunch of random oneshots with the pairing MelloXMatt. Although, some may be MattXMello. Meaning Matt would be Seme. I always put the Seme first, and the Uke second: SemeXUke. :D
And remember: just one review a day can help a Mello…get more chocolate…? Hahaha, I don't know. Oh well. :D