So, I'm part of this fic challenge community on LiveJournal called Mission Insane, and my claim for it is Death Note. I wrote this for the prompt "Haunted."
Spectre
Mikami knows there are some things he can't help Kira with, and this is one of them. But just because he knows, that doesn't mean he has to like it. Not being able to aid his God is one of the most painful things he's ever known.
It's not usually this bad. Kira's never cried before, and Mikami doesn't know what to make of it. Kira says it's only because he wasn't expecting to bite his lip so hard it bled, and it's the pain of that making his eyes water.
But Mikami knows better. He knows Kira cries for that detective - for L. But he won't say anything, and God's lip bleeds on.
Kira lies through his teeth, furiously wiping the tears away, and his eyes grow cold again as he tries to force away thoughts of the past.
Mikami wants to comfort God, but daren't touch him without permission. If Kira wants comfort, surely he'll take it.
If L weren't already dead, Mikami fancies he'd kill him just for causing this much pain, for completely consuming God's thoughts – Light's thoughts, Mikami corrects himself, because this kind of tortured pining would never afflict a godlike figure, only the human cowering behind it.
Mikami thinks God's thoughts should be focused on him, and only him. He was chosen long after L was gone, but the shadow of the detective has always loomed large over everything he does. Even in death, L still consumes God's - Light's - thoughts.
In a sick, twisted irony, Kira and his devoted disciple are united in their hate for the power L has over both of them, even from the grave. They recognize this in each other, but are kept from giving and receiving the comfort they so badly crave by nothing more than blind obedience and stubborn pride respectively.
Mikami knows he'll never be as good as L, and that is the most painful thing he's known.
-fin-