HI.

This was a colab fic between Nameless14 and Sugarfang Phantom... writen at 2 in the morning. XD we present to you this crack containing content from Harry Potter, Yu-Gi-Oh, Code Geass, Death Note, Pirates of the Caribbean, Twilight, Kingdom Hearts, and Yu-Gi-Oh TAS. we do not own any of those shows, sadly enough.

In classroom 5-A of Domino high school...

They were expecting a new teacher. It was Epic. Students were shouting and playing. Until the new white haired sensei stomped into the room.

"You must be my new class. Staring now you will begin your rigorous course of ancient history." He grinned with a malicious twinkle in his eye that sent shivers down the spines of the students. :) They all shut up and sat down immediately, except for L, who sat on his desk with his knees up. He was wearing a blue satin gown and a tiara, which sent shivers down Light's spine, who stared at him hungrily. Light was literally- a faerie, with wings and a magical wand, and flower petals.

Bakura had launched into a lengthly lecture on his warped view of the pharaoh's history, which Yami continuously interrupted, causing Bakura to give him a lot of detention. Their argument was largely ignored when Light decided to turn Suzaku into a cat. He began to bite himself until he was attacked by the vicious Arthur, but he defended himself with his Spinzaku kicks.

Abruptly, Seto fucking Kaiba waltzed in with a briefcase.

"I'm here here to screw the rules and give out H1N1 vaccines, who's first?" He said.

"I believe Lelouch needs one," Bakura replied.

"Yes, I was too busy amassing an army to get it... I mean having sex with Suzaku... I mean playing chess! Yeah, that's it!" Lelouch stuttered.

Kaiba then took out a syringe from his briefcase (which happened to hold a link to another dimension), and prepared to stab Lelouch's arm with the vaccine.

"Wait, are you even a real doctor?!" Lelouch exclaimed.

"Of course he is! He's as much a real doctor as I am a real teacher," Bakura replied to Lelouch's ridiculous question.

"Somehow, that's not so reassuring..."

Kaiba then plunged the syringe into Lelouch's arm without warning, causing Lelouch to scream in pain.

"Okay, now we have to wait a few minutes in case your system rejects the vaccine," Kaiba calmly stated.

"Baka," Lelouch muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!"

"Whatever, second-best duelist."

Yami snorted, and Bakura laughed maniacally. "Say, what happened to Suzaku?" Bakura asked after his laughter faded away.

Near silently got up to the board and explained through biophysics and nuclear trigonometry how Suzaku's disappearance had occurred, leaving the class absurdly confused, except for L, who seemed to follow along just fine. Bakura was able to formulate an explanation, however it was in Egyptian and only Yami (and for some reason, Italy) were able to understand.

"Translating this will be tonight's homework for all of you. I expect a four-page summary on my desk by tomorrow," Bakura stated. The class groaned at their new assignment, and Matt and Mello began to translate. Italy, in frustration, threw the pasta he had been eating onto light. It engulfed him completely due to his small faerieness, which began the food fight.

"Food fight!!!" Mokuba screamed, flinging an onigiri toward Mello, as L jumped into his pretty candy-mobile to take cover from the soaring foodstuffs.

"Mokie, what are you doing here?" Kaiba questioned.

"I brought your trench coat, only I accidentally put it in with the reds, so it turned pink. Gomen ne, nii-sama."

"WHAT?!?!?!" Kaiba erupted in anger, but still put on his favorite coat reluctantly.

"Oooooooh~ who are you Sora?" Lelouch said drowsily. he giggled. the H1N1 vaccine was beginning to affect him negatively. "So~Ra, you look pretty today! You look like a butterfly. Why are you purple?"

"Hey Kid, you want some drugs?" Hallucination-Riku asked.

"Hey, Bakura- do you have any idea who he's talking to? And for that matter, do you even know what the fuck is going on?" Kaiba questioned.

Bakura shrugged. "No clue."

At this point, Watari began to ramble about his experiences in Vietnam as Yami made it snow.

"ILLOGICAL!!" shouted Near, pointing to Yami. Bakura preceded to explain what was going on to him, in ancient Egypt. Again, he assigned it as homework.

Then, Light-faerie, attempting to make sense of it all, transported them to the caribbean.

"Would you happen to know where the rum is?" Jack Sparrow slurred in his totally sexy drawl as he appeared from behind a palm tree.

"Begone with you!" shouted Yami, who then posed dramatically.

"But I need my rum! DO you know where the rum is? I must have my rum!" He continued to ramble on about rum and its glories until passed out from lack of oxygen.

Then, Mello demanded his chocolate, and Matt began to make out with everyone but Lelouch, who was still in an H1N1 induced hallucination of Kingdom Hearts.

Lelouch snapped out of confusion!

After seeing Matt make out with Suza-neko, he flew into a jealous rage, punching Matt in the face. It was a terrible mistake, for Lelouch is weak and was pwned by Matt and his badassery. This caused Suza-neko to punch Matt for beating up his boyfriend, and Mello then punched Suza-neko for punching his fuck buddy, causing a giant fistfight between all.

Voldemort became fed up with their squabbling, and exploded them all, stunning them into silence. They survived by going to Mars.

"We can only stay alive here by doing the macarena," deduced L. They began to break it down. Light, not wanting to die but still not wanting to do the macarena, transported them all to Forks, Washington, land of the sparkly vampires.

"Hello, I'm sexy," said Edward upon their arrival. Unfortunately for him, it was around noon and the sun beamed down, revealing his pink sparkliness. However, Yami, being the awesome person he is, outsparkled Edward with the millennium puzzle and endless belt buckles. Bella bitch-slapped Yami for doing so, and to everyone's surprise, Voldemort stood up.

"I have something I wish to share with you all," he said, "I'm gay... for Bakura!" The person in question fainted out of shock.

LittleKuriboh then wrote everyone out of the script, one by one.

The END.