Disclaimer: Slam Dunk and its characters do not belong to me but Takehiko Inoue. I, merely a fanatic of SD, want nothing but borrow the characters for the purpose of fun.
Also, the plot of the situational events, if there are any similarities with the original shows, is out of pure coincidence. I'm squeezing my brain out here to produce what I think is funny enough and not just plagiarizing. Besides, the purpose is to make people laugh… (err, if they will… hehe) and not to make myself famous.Although… if I'm out of ideas, maybe I could borrow them too? Hehe… Thanks!
That's it. So please don't sue me.
Seize the camera!
Seize the camera! has sent talented agents to different schools in Kanagawa, Japan. Mainly, high schools… those who have good basketball teams.
Err… whatever. They were just sent there. ^_^`
Purpose: to get (hopefully) funny reactions from the innocent students… and coaches, maybe?
Now, to get on with it…
à Target: Shohoku High School
Strike 1Situation: Lunch time. A gorgeous young lady wearing a casual outfit will try to get the attention of the people. By… uhh… read on.
Victim: Mitsui
Location: at the canteen, eating lunch beside the screened window
Agent 01 enters. Mitsui didn't notice since he's too much focused on his food.
Agent 01: Hi! Can I join you? (smiles cutely with a questioning look)
Mitsui: Oh, Hi! Sure… (shocked yet stood up and shove the chair beside him)
Agent 01: Thanks.
Agent 01 sits comfortably while Mitsui forgot about his half-eaten food, obviously up for flirting.
Mitsui: I've never seen you around here before. New student?
Agent 01: No. I have other purpose. (smiling like she's open for flirty mode)
Mitsui: Oh. And your purpose is…?
Mitsui gave the challenging look while resting his head on his palm, completely focused on what the other is going to say.
Agent 01: What do you think? (raising an eyebrow and looking completely seductive at Mitsui)
Mitsui: I think I know. (smirking, never taking his gaze off her)
Agent 01: What? (looking intrigued)
Mitsui: Looking for me? (with teasing eyes)
Agent 01: Hmm… not really. (turned a bit serious, smile fading slowly)
Mitsui: Ookay… Then what is it? (felt a bit embarrassed yet kept on with the questioning look)
Agent 01 seems disturbed, looking down. Mitsui's expression turned guilty, thinking he made the gorgeous lady upset… when she suddenly stood up, facing him again with excitement in her eyes.
Agent 01: My purpose is… (in a really soft voice)
Mitsui kept silent though relieved when he saw that she's excited.
Agent 01: To proclaim that… (still with the shy, soft voice)
Mitsui: That…? (smiling cheekily to the fact that the stranger seems to be getting comfortable with him)
Agent 01: THAT I'M GONNA BE THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!! NYAHAHAHA! YOU'RE GONNA BE JACK AND WE WILL RAVAGE THE EARTH!!! HEKHEK… (evil glint in her eyes, looking like a mad woman, disturbing the sanity of those in the canteen)
Mitsui was taken aback… basically from the fact that he had been openly flirting with a psycho. He tried running away but Agent 01 cornered him from his seat that he couldn't get off.
Agent 01: POOR BABY! YOU CAN'T RUNAWAY!!! BWAHAHAHA! (still got the menacing look)
Mitsui: Get off me!!! (almost crying and shrieking in disgust)
Sadly, no one's trying to help.
Let's think… what would be the other students' response? Using other tactics to get their attention… maybe they'll say:
Sakuragi: You are?? Whoa! You chose the right person because this is the tensai!!! Nyahahaha!!! (while jumping around giddily, holding each others hands)
Kogure: Hush. We can talk about it later. Maybe I should bring you first to the clinic. (with the worrying tone and look, he led her outside, looking apologetically to the surprised faces of people)
Rukawa: do'aho. (the agent had a hard time getting onto him since he had already walked away even she hasn't said anything much, yet)
Haruko: She seems pretty lively, ne? (while smiling sweetly, still the same clueless expression)
Fujii: It's not safe talking to her. Haruko, just leave her alone. (the same reaction when she heard that Haruko has been talking to Sakuragi)
à Target: Kainan High School Strike 2Situation: A newly opened museum has been built beside Kainan High. Written on the antique door, it says, "Kainan basketball players, keep out" in scary, blood stained letters.
Agents: An old woman in her late 60's wearing a morbid outfit. Complete with the black cape, ancient cane and witchy appearance. We'll call her Agent Panggap-baliw. And an old man of the same age in a costume like that of Cupid. (You know, like wearing only a diaper?) We'll call him Agent Panggap-tino.
And in case you're wondering what the meaning of their names are…
Panggap-baliw: pretending to be psychotic
Panggap-tino: pretending to be normal
Victim: Kiyota Nobunaga, Jin Soichiro
Kiyota: (thinking deeply) Should I enter or not?
Jin just got out from the school gate. Finding Kiyota weird, he approached him.
Jin: Hey, Kiyota! What's up? (questioning smile on his face)
Kiyota: Oh. It's you. Have you seen that sign before? (points toward the scribbled sign)
Jin: No. (looking serious now while staring at the uncanny sign)
Kiyota: Well, I was thinking whether I should get inside or not. (voice seems to be inquiring Jin)
There suddenly appeared a thick smoke. Then a loud thud boomed out of nowhere. Agent Panggap-baliw appears in front of them, setting the two in a trance.
Agent Panggap-baliw: Yes, open the door. It's not going to do you any harm. (in a deep, creepy voice)
Both are gaping, still speechless when another voice came from behind them.
Agent Panggap-tino: No, you shouldn't. It says you should keep out! (the old man obviously trying hard to sound like an innocent child, not considering the thought that he actually looks like a gay-lecher)
Kiyota laughed hysterically but Jin shut him up.
Jin: Kiyota! Can't you see the gravity of the situation here?? (looking really serious)
Kiyota: But… but… (trying very hard not to laugh, yet failed)
Jin: No buts. We're both going home now. (in a stern voice)
Kiyota: No way! You go home. I wanna check this out.
Jin: Kiyota! (sounding like he's cheated)
While arguing, both agents played angel and devil while the two are still deciding whether to follow their instincts or not…
In the background, other students are already thinking crazy thoughts about them.
Jin and Kiyota played heads or tails to know whose intuition to follow. Kiyota chose heads while Jin, who got no other option, chose tails…
Kiyota won and instantly, he's holding the knob of the aged door. Jin just followed from behind. The two agents are out of sight. Slowly, the door opened. Goosebumps rose to their senses. There seems to be not much of a big thing going on inside that Kiyota opened the door really wide. Only to find out…
A life-size painting of Coach Taoka making out with their coach. Both have no shirt, just pants. While Kainan's coach holds a big fan on her right. Each wearing a satisfied smile.
Jin: (speechless, mouth hanging open)
Kiyota: Huuwhaaaaatt??? (blinks rapidly then stopped and said in an overly excited voice:) Hey, that's what I always thought! Yuck! Wait till the others see this.
Think again… of the possible reactions of the others.
Maki: Huh? (nothing… just 'huh', then walk out, ignoring the painting as if he hadn't seen it for all his life)
Coach Taoka: Who the hell painted that obscene, hypocrite painting??! (pointing madly at the painting with smokes coming out of his head)
Kainan's coach: Cool. (smiles nonchalantly while fanning and observing if there are any flaws)
A/N: Well, first… I'm going to say sorry if I made the characters or the readers offended. I'm really sorry and it's not my purpose.
Err... I'm not really sure if you like the idea or not but I wrote it anyway… hehe… this fic is a bit short since I still have no idea of your feedback… and well, uhh… if you're reviews says you like it, then I'll continue… if not, well… guess I'm only gonna say "thanks for reading!"
So… reviews please??
And I'll be very glad if you point out my mistakes. Thanks again! ^_^