OwlCookies: I was bored… and after reading one of my crackfics-in-process I came up with this :3
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Once upon a time[cheesy huh lolz], Italy got a rare disease. Probably from eating too much pasta.
"Ve~ You can never have enough pasta!" Italy protested.
Yeah? Well to bad punk!
"I'm so sorry ve~!" he exclaimed with his Italian accent.
Ok yeah, well anyway, one day, like on a Tuesday or something, Italy woke up feeling different. Well… if you could say different.
"Today is a lovely day! Lalala!" Italy cheered getting out of bed.
Like usual, he went up to Germany and greeted him.
"Hello Germany! Ve~"
As Italy walked away, Germany scratched the back of his head in confusion.
"What did he just say?"
This is what he heard.
"Ve! Ve! Ve!"
Passing by Japan, Italy greeted him in the same way.
"Ve~ Good morning, Japan!"
Japan stopped and watched as the cheerily Italy pranced away happily. Then somehow, Germany levitated his way next to Japan.
"Did you understand any of that?" Germany asked Japan.
Japan shook his head.
"All I heard was, Ve! Ve! Ve!" both countries said in unison.
"I wonder what's gotten into him," Germany muttered.
Unknown to them, Italy had woken up with an extremely rare disease that no one but him has actually caught in any life time. Seriously.
So there we have it, Italy's prancing around every single country known to man. Even the countries that never even appeared in any version of Hetalia. He goes around greeting everyone, but when he leaves, the country he had greeted has no clue to what he just said because all they heard was…
"Ve! Ve! Ve!"
Taking it into their liberty, every single country but Italy decided to have a meeting to talk about what the heck was going on with that pasta-obsessed country.
"I bet you he's trying to pull a prank!" China exclaimed.
"Nomnomnom…" America decided now was the time to eat his many hamburgers and drink his many shakes. How he was able to stay as skinny as he was, we are never sure… THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!
Romano, who had been quiet for most of the discussion, stood up and hit the table with a giant mallet causing everyone to be quiet.
"Italy is sick," he plainly stated.
"…Really?" Germany asked. "It was as simple as that? Wait, how did you know?"
Romano sat back down ignoring Germany. Confusion rippled throughout the group and soon, they began to argue again.
"He might be trying to drive us mad!" China explained.
"Noms…" America had just finished his like, 50th burger and like, 44th milk shake. Chocolate milkshake.
[The crowd gasps. "How is he so skinny?"]
"We should shove some tea and crumpets down his throat!" England suggested.
In the background, some countries snickered at the word crumpets. [Hehehe… I know I'd laugh!]
"Maybe we should isolate him in Sealand!" Canada exclaimed.
"Whaa? Why me?" Sealand cried in protest.
"Because he said so," Cuba retorted. He began to light a cigarette and smoke it.
"You…smoke…?" Sealand asked.
"I dunno, it said I did in this one quiz so I guess I do. The author who's writing this never finished Hetalia so she wouldn't know," Cuba shrugged.
"Oh uhm… ok…"
"So… why are you here?" Cuba asked. "Are you some unknown country?"
Sealand looked and was offended. "I'm a country! Geez!"
"The author knows about you and not about me?" Prussia gasped, hearing their conversation.
"Pretty much!" Sealand chripped.
In the background, some of the countries that me the author didn't get to see in the anime, were murmuring in despair in a very dark little corner with dark lines hovering strangely above their heads.
"Nomnomnom…" America has now reached… HIS 100TH HAMBURGER AND CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE!
[The crowd cheers.]
Quickly, everything turns dark and Holy Rome appears and begins singing.
"-Blah blah I don't remember the lyricy stuff to his song except- And Germany is the banker~" Holy Rome sang.
Then, everything turned back on and Holy Rome disappears.
"…" Japan and Germany are speechless seeing that they've seen Holy Rome so many times before.
"Ve~ Bye great grandfather!" Italy chirps happily.
Everyone's ears perk up when they hear Italy. Once again, all they hear was…
"Ve! Ve! Ve!"
"AHH! HE'S HERE!"
"OMG! RUN AWAY!"
"AHHH! SAVE US!"
"I shall play my feelings on this piano!" Austria began to play a scary song on the piano.
Unlike most countries who began to run around in circles, screaming like girls(if they were boys), Romano stood up and the hit the table again with the oh so giant mallet.
"Italy is sick," he repeated.
"Don't just give us the appetizer! Give us the main course, man!" America shouted.
"Italy is sick."
"…Anything to add…?" Germany calmly asked.
"Italy caught Italian sickness."
"…Anything else…?"
"He thinks he's talking normally."
"…So…"
"His voice box is malfunctioning."
"Ve~" Italy giggles as he see's the wreak and havoc. [LOL JEAN HAVOC!]
"…And then…"
"Causing Italy to keep saying 've'."
"I see how it is," Japan said. "Can we cure him?"
"Wait until tomorrow."
"Ve~"
The next day, Italy is back to normal. Although, he has completely and somehow scared some of the countries…
"Ve~" he chirped happily.
"AHHH! NOT AGAIN!"
And that's how the story ends! MWUAHAHAHA! TEEHEE! LOLZ! Ok ahah… I'll stop now…