Title: Making Love, Out of Nothing At All
Author: ClayandSarah4ever
Feedback:
Rating: PG-13 to be safe
Category: Songfic but, it may fall under a few more
Pairing: None really, although it alludes to Clay/Sarah
Spoilers: All seasons up to and including "Hail and Farewell"
Archive: Don't know why you would but, ask first
Summary: My take on the ending of "Hail and Farewell" from Clay's POV
Warnings: Uhm, none that I can think of. Mild profanity and sexual encounter alluded to.
Disclaimer: The characters of JAG belong to Donald P.Bellesario Productions. "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" belongs to Air Supply and was written by Jim Steinman. Any other names in the story are fictional and based on the characters in the show, although we don't know their real names. No copyright infringement is intended. This is solely my imagination.
Author's Note: Thanks to zzilly14 for telling me how to post this. This is my first attempt at fanfic. All blunders, if they don't coincide with canon, are mine. Words spoken are in double quotation marks; Clay's thoughts are in single quotation marks. The words of the song are in italics. Feedback is appreciated.
The spring evening was clear and bright, the stars were sparkling through the night sky. The humidity hanging in the air foretold of the coming heat of summer. The low murmur of sounds, emitting from the nearby building, were all that the lone occupant in the car could hear. The man was sitting in the dark, using the night as a shroud. He had lived majority of his adult life in the shadows. They became his friend, his confidante. They were the only one in whom he could confide his deepest, darkest secrets. That was, until she appeared in his life.
Her. Was there anyone more perfect than she? She displayed grace and beauty, even when she felt awkward and unworthy. She had a competitive spirit that fought for respect in a male dominant world. She, who helped me survive the worst possible hell. She was my beacon of hope to anchor me to the ground. She, who was willing to sacrifice her life for mine. She, who kissed my broken body gently, as she prepared to embark on a dangerous mission without me. She, who I was unable to protect but, who in turn protected me. She became my life. In a word – Sarah.
'It was Sarah whom I was watching. She had just come out of the Officer's Club with her partner, Harmon Rabb, Jr., and sat on the porch. From this distance, I, Clayton Webb, CIA extraordinaire, could see Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie's face as she sat and talked to Harm. A pang of jealousy shot through my heart. Sarah, this past year, had become the special woman in my life. Even though I knew, rationally, that Sarah had to interact with the Navy Commander, on a daily basis, it still bothered me to see them so cozy'.
'However, I felt guilty because I know that the mixed emotions that played across Sarah's face were because of me. I had left her, again, to go on a mission. I had sort of lied, well, not actually lied, but, I omitted my final destination. I did go to Rhein-Main, Germany, as I told Sarah but, I failed to tell her that I had to go on to Kuala Lumpur, in Malaysia. My contact, in Malaysia, had warned me that there were several Al – Qaeda cells preparing for another attack but, were unable to specify when. There was one man on the inside of one of the larger cells and only he had the intel to take out the entire network in Malaysia'. "My job," I mused, "was to get Omar and his informant out of Kuala Lumpur. Even that failed."
'I had arranged with the SecNav, the usage of the USS Thomas Lyons, the closest Naval ship in the area. She was already in the Pacific providing Naval components support for a Pac-Com ops. It was just a matter of diverting her to meet my two companions and I in Singapore. Once there, the others and I would board the USS Thomas Lyons where the ship, in turn, would transport us to Darwin, in the Northern Territory of Australia. Once in Darwin, we would board a charter plane to Sidney; and from Sidney, a plane headed for the States'.
That was, if we had made it to Singapore. 'I can't believe what a screw up the op was,' I sigh. 'It seems I'm bound for failure'. I had been doing rather well, or so I had thought. ' The psychiatrist said that I was progressing well. Physically, he couldn't see any residual scars on my body. Mentally, the months that I have spent in therapy, have helped me overcome my self-doubts that plagued me since the Angel Shark incident.'
Rubbing my fingers over the bridge of my nose, I shift my position in the car seat. ' The plan was foolproof but, somehow I feel that Fate was conspiring against me the whole time. We were to board a Zodiac, that I had hidden in the bushes, and travel the two hundred miles to Singapore. We had enough provisions to last us, what I calculated to be, a four day trip. We were going to travel the Straits of Malacca under the cloak of night and stop, in secluded areas, on the Malaysian Peninsula, during the day. And all was well, until the third night. I swear, the meteorologists there suck just as bad as here in the States. I should have never trusted the weather forecast. Otherwise, that squall would have never taken us by surprise. Thank God, we were close enough to Singapore to send off a distress signal and that the captain of the Thomas Lyons had common sense to come into the Straits. Otherwise we would have all been goners'.
'Even after all these years of working for the Company, I still can't get used to the loss of life. We'd all be goners but somehow, some stroke of luck, kept me from drowning. Maybe Fate was shining down on me. Or else, Someone up there knew I had a promise to keep to a Marine Colonel. And though I don't have the hard proof, Omar's contact was good as his word. It's a pity that they both lost their lives at sea. He did, fortunately, speak of the plans the Al – Qaeda cells had for another attack, while we were traveling. So, at least I know the where, if not the when. After the bodies and I were left in Hawaii, I immediately called Deputy Director Harrison Kershaw. Of course, Kershaw told me to come home immediately to be briefed by him personally and that it would be reported to the world that I was one of the "casualties" lost at sea. I argued vehemently with him, to no avail. I didn't want Sarah to have to go through the pain of my loss. But, knowing my Marine, she will suck it up. I'm just sorry that I have to put her through this again. I know of her track record with men. She told me about it during our last night together. She told me of how, when in Paraguay, after she and Harm made it back to Ciudad del Este, he told her how he hoped that I would fare better than her previous boyfriends. As she told me that, I could see the hurt that flickered across her face. I gently asked her what he meant by that. She sadly explained to me how she had overheard Harm tell Sturgis that every man she had ever gone out with was either dead or wished that he was. When I heard that, and seeing the pain that it caused her, I was ready to storm over to Harmon Rabb's apartment and this time HE would be the one with a broken nose. Fortunately, for him, Sarah restrained me and stated that she has come to expect that from him, especially when it concerns our relationship. Still, it doesn't make it any easier to swallow'.
' I've got to get myself out of this funk,' I think, as I reach for the dial on my car radio. 'The nice thing about my sportscar, is that is has an awesome sound system.' Turning it on, I flip past the hard rock stations and even bypass the classical station that I frequently listen to. 'Ah, yes. The good old '80s station.' The DJ was just coming back on the air, from a commercial break. She started saying that the next song was a special request of Ty for his girlfriend, Jackie.
The opening strains began and I closed my eyes as the voice of Air Supply came over the airwaves.
I know just how to whisper,
And I know just how to cry;
I know just where to find the answers;
And I know just how to lie.
' Oh, Lord. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear this was me. If there was one thing that the Agency has taught me, is how to find the answers I need, no matter the cost, and how to lie to loved ones, all in the name of National Security. That's why none of my previous relationships have ever lasted. They were all based on lies. Lies about my job, lies about where I was going, lies about when I would be home. Thank God, Sarah has been able to see beyond Clayton Webb, the Agent, and see Clayton Webb, the man'.