Lol, I've had this stuck in my head for sooo long! This is just a one shot so maybe this is the blockage that keeps me from writing more stories... anyway. Onward to the story!
Kowalski was laying on the floor of the penguin HQ, sleeping like a log. He didn't move, and he looked like he wasn't breathing. The fishbowl entrance of the HQ opens and Catherine climbs down the ladder.
"You don't really have to follow the rule ladies first, I mean, I'm younger than all of you guys," Catherine said. Private climbed down next.
"Skipper still wants to make you feel at home, ever since you know... the move," Private said.
"I moved here two weeks ago and I already love it here," Catherine said.
"Just try not to let getting access to our HQ get to your head," Skipper said as he climbed down. Rico got down last and smiled at Catherine creepily. Catherine acknowledged him with a nod. She looked at Kowalski.
"Omigoshness!" Catherine screamed. She ran over to Kowalski and poked him with her flipper.
"OH NO! I've only known him for two weeks!" Catherine screamed, laying her body across Kowalski's.
"What do you mean?" Private said, his heart beating fast.
"Kowalski's... dead," Catherine whispered, looking at Kowalski. Skipper looked at Catherine funny. Was she kidding?
"Catherine, unless a strange germ from another planet suddenly bit Kowalski, causing him to sleep like this, you couldn't be more wrong," Skipper said, shaking his head. But Catherine shook her head.
"Nope. That's what Manfreddi and Johnson said when they fell asleep on the Mississippi River on a raft. A wooden one, unfortunantly," Catherine said.
"Are you sure your penguin commando material?" Skipper said, "You seem to be."
"Ronald, M and J go way back to when Ronald hatched... I'm guessing. I don't know," Catherine said, "From the looks of it, Manfreddi and Johnson knew a lot of people."
"Is Kowalski really dead?" Private whimpered, poking Kowalski in the eye. Kowalski snorted and turned over.
"Look, he's getting the death position!" Catherine screamed, pointing at Kowalski. Skipper than knew something was up.
"Kowalski's not dead! He's just asleep. Like a little baby," Skipper explained, looking at Kowalski. Rico giggled.
"No, he's dead like an old man. Look, he probably won't react when we slap him!" Catherine said. She raised a flipper and slapped Kowalski across the face. Kowalski didn't react. He stayed asleep, unresponding.
"Catherine, you probably didn't slap him hard enough," Skipper said, walking towards lifeless (but sleeping) body, "You've got to do it more like this!" Skipper slapped him so hard you could pratically hear the smack echo through the HQ.
"He's not waking up!" Private said, "He really is dead!"
"Uh uh!" Rico said and hocked up a chainsaw. He was going to try to scare him awake.
"Hey!" Rico screamed and made noises with chainsaw. Kowalski didn't react. Rico tipped his head to the side.
"Well, this gives me the chance to do something I've been wanting to do. Tickle Kowalski without him yelling at me!" Catherine exclaimed. She reached her flipper out and tickled Kowalski a little. He giggled. Catherine tipped her head to the side and started tickling Kowalski some more. Kowalski laughed and laughed and laughed. Than he started to sob.
"Oh, he's crying," Skipper said, looking at Kowalski.
"Stop tickling him, your hurting him!" Private screamed. Obviously he had gotten the message that Kowalski wasn't really dead.
"Dead penguins can't get hurt," Catherine said. Kowalski breathed heavily a little. Than his breathing slowed down into a gentle breathing. He fell asleep... again.
"Kowalski is dead! See!" Catherine said. The boys shook their heads. He obviously wasn't dead.
"Ugh, look, I'll show you again, I'll pour some pepper to make him sneeze," Catherine said, getting the pepper from the table. She poured over Kowalski's beak and waited. Skipper crossed his arms and growled. Kowalski beak twitched.
"AH-CHOO!" Kowalski sneezed. He kept sneezing and sneezing, all while scratching his beak. Finally, the sneezing ceased and he breathed heavily. He suddenly collasped to the floor and fell asleep... again.
"Dead," Catherine said while gesturing with her flippers.
"ASLEEP!" Skipper screamed at her.
"I know he's dead, cause I put him through the tests. Its obvious, he's dead!" Catherine said, getting a little angry.
"No, he's just asleep!" Skipper said, getting ready to slap the heck out of Catherine. Kowalski shot up. He looked at the television.
"Must not miss favorite show," Kowalski muttered and walked over towards the TV. Catherine looked stunned and the others looked relieved.
"Ha! I knew he wasn't dead!" Catherine said, laughing.
"NO YOU DIDN'T, YOU IDIOT!" Skipper screamed at her. Kowalski looked over at the others and shrugged.
Weird, he thought and turned on the TV.