A/N: Hi! I'm with my awesome other half and we're bored. So,,,, We've made really delicious chocolate brownies and are on a chocolate high. And we thought we'd write a little fic for you guys.
By me and ThinAsADime- or Tali. You guys rule! Thanks for reading. :D
! Epic Chocolate Brownies !
Professor Severus Snape was walking down the corridor leading to the dungeons, questioning himself.
"So, perhaps I could sneak Mr. Potter into the classroom and fiddle with his thoughts a tad. But would that make me a bad person?"
'Well Severus, most people would consider you a bad person already. And, considering it is Potter...'
"Shut up you stupid piece of-"
"SNAPE! What are you doing?" Remus Lupin was walking towards him, and looking quite annoyed. It was after all, his special time of the month.
Snape pulled his gaze up from the ground. "Remus, I don't think it's any of your business what I am doing," he said bitterly.
"It is my business Severus, if your doings effect my potion, my transformation, or my favorite pair of shoes; which, it just so happens, you are currently staring at a little too awkwardly for my taste."
Severus glared at the werewolf. Damn, I forgot about his freaking potion. Now I have to go all the way back to my office and get it for the bumbling idiot. Good lord, this is the worst night of my life. Not including Lily's death of course. Fuck, now I need some chocolate.
"Shut your muzzle wolf boy. I don't care about your damned potion or your transformation. Or your hideous shoes for that matter. You do know that those went out of style the year we graduated."
Remus looked absolutely scandalized, and emphasized that by throwing his hand over his heart. "Severus, I am absolutely horrified by your cruel words."
"Oh please. You have no idea just how cruel I can be." Snape glared evily at the Maraurder.
Remus grinned maniacally. "Oh really, dear Snape? Is that... an offer?"
A 'what the fuck' look graced Snape's generally bored face.
"Honestly, I'm just in the mood for some biting," Remus said with a wink.
The Potions Master stared at him, puzzled. Ignoring Remus completely, he turned on his heel and stalked out of sight towards the kitchens.
! Epic Chocolate Brownies !
Snape stuck his spoon in the vat of chocolate peanut butter frosting and pulled it back out, bringing it to his mouth rather quickly. For someone so dignified, he didn't seem to care about his postion while sitting on the floor, drowing his sadness in chocolate and fat.
'Perhaps...' "I wonder what Potter would do if I stuck his head in this tub of icing?" 'Then again...' "That would be a waste of icing; which I really need right now. Fucking werewolf."
And then Snape had another odd thought. 'Well, maybe, and JUST maybe, I'm thinking... Remus would look damn fine covered in this frosting. I could just... eat it off of his body..."
"He did mention something about biting. And it has the potential to possibly be pleasent... How would that annoy Potter though?" Severus trailed off into his thoughts, trying to figure out how to have his icing and eat it too. "That's it!" Several house elves looked up at him, quite startled at his exclamation. "I can set it up so Potter can find us just as we're finishing... Have Lupin stuck tied to something naked and still covered in a bit of icing... Potter would nearly die at the thought, let alone the image. This way I'll have my fun with the wolf, and Potter will be scarred for life."
"Brilliant Snape, just what I was thinking. I want to give Potter a good shock, too," Lupin said from behind Snape, startling the man clad in all black. "I feel strongly about you Severus. Even though you think I'm joking, I want you in my pants. I kid you not."
"Well then. I believe we should retire to your quarters." Severus started walking away before Remus stopped him.
"Aren't you forgetting something Severus?" Lupin glanced over to the half full tub of icing Severus had left behind.
"What do you mean?" Severus asked, genuinely confused.
Lupin smirked. "That worked up already, are we Severus? The frosting, of course. I need it to coat my...naked... body for you to lick off."
Severus flushed and felt something stir in his lower abdomen.
! Epic Chocolate Brownies !
"Oooooohhh Severus."
"Lupin... Uhhhhh."
Severus accidentally stuck his hand in a streak of frosting when he crawled down, kissing Lupin's stomach slowly, then wrapping his lips around Lupin's hard cock, the man arching his back and bucking his hips automatically, Severus's skilled tongue torturing him beautifully. Severus stopped and looked up into Lupin's eyes, sucking the frosting from his fingers, teasing the man. It had gone from something fun, something to torture Harry, to something intimate that Snape was secretly hoping could happen again.
Speak of the devil... or think in Severus' case... The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Pain-In-Your-Ass entered the room at that very moment.
Harry blinked once, picked up his legs, screamed like a little girl, and instantly closed his eyes, covering them with his hands. "OH. MY. GOD. Lupin, WHAT are you doing? Snape! Please Snape, tell me you do not have his... thing in your mouth! OH, the burning sensation in my eyes!"
Remus brought his head up and Severus released his cock from his mouth. They both turned to see a stunned Harry Potter cowering in the corner, tears running down his checks and his body shaking. He was feeling along the wall, trying to find the door without opening his eyes and seeing the horrid sight before him. Finding the handle, he grasped onto it for dear life and dashed out of there like a bat out of hell. The two men just layed there, open mouthed and wide-eyed.
A few moments after Harry had left, it dawned on them that they had succeeded in their plan of annoying him.
"Well," Remus said with a smirk, "I suppose we're done here." He sat up, buttoning his pants. Severus looked lost, his eyebrows pulling together for just a moment. Then he scowled, angry at himself for opening up even in the slightest. He stood up and brushed himself off, fixing his robes.
He pulled a vial of Lupin's potion out of his pocket and set it on his side table. "There you are, Remus." He walked out of the office, closing the door a little too harshly behind him.
_3 Days Later_
Remus Lupin stepped out of the floo in St. Mungos and walked over to the information desk.
"May I help you sir?" She was a blonde witch, and was looking quite awe-struck at the attractive wizard in front of her.
"Yes, I'm looking for Harry Potter."
A bit taken aback, the witch answered with "Fourth Floor."
Giving her a boyish smile in thanks, Remus procceeded to the Fourth Floor to visit Harry Potter, who had been admitted three days prior after trying to remove his eyes with a severing charm.