A/N: Thanks to everyone on Sketchydoodles' Discord Vorthos Server for help with headcanons and decks.

Tricks of the Trade

Jace gnawed on his thumb and stared at his hand. He had out Deceiver Exarch, and with five open mana, he could play Splinter Twin and set off the combo—if his opponent didn't have enough counterspells. He had at least one remand in hand, and if he only had one, then Jace was all right, because he had one remaining mana to use on Swan Song to counter it. If.

After a long minute, he sighed. Might as well try it. He'd just gotten back into Magic after a dry spell of a few years, and he'd only played this deck a few times before. Staring at his opponent's hand longer wouldn't magically tell him what he needed to do. "Okay," he started, and his voice came out as a hoarse whisper. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat and tried again. "Okay, I tap my temple, reef, mountain and steam vents to play Splinter Twin."

"Flash in snapcaster mage, flashback izzet charm to counter."

Jace raced to recalculate. Was he still okay—

"Cally! Hi!"

Oh, fuck. "Kind of playing a match right now," Jace said, sinking into his hoody and trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Liliana's smooth voice continued. "I don't want to put you off your game, Cally, I just haven't seen you in so long, and I've been so worried, and—"

"My name's not Cally," Jace mumbled into his chest, not even sure if she'd be able to hear him.

"Oh, darling, you know I don't mind if you want to dress up like a boy," Liliana said, putting on her best 'I'm just concerned about you,' voice.

Jace shut his eyes, trying to keep back the tears. The binder made it hard enough to breathe without the sudden choking panic rising in his throat. He'd better concede, he couldn't win at this point anyway, he just needed to get away.

"D'you have a response?" said his opponent loudly from across the table, which Jace appreciated, but which wasn't going to be enough to get Liliana off his back.

"Cally, darling, please, I'll just be waiting for you when you're done, okay? And we can talk? Please don't ignore me. It's so hurtful."

Grinding his teeth together, Jace hunched his shoulders in and tried to remind himself that he didn't owe her anything, but he already felt hot and scared and as if he were suffocating. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I guess I con—"

"Hey," said the person across the table, and Jace glanced up, which he had studiously not been doing for most of the match because he didn't particularly feel like getting distracted by either his opponent's good looks or his persistent, stomach-churning worry that he was just a straight girl faking it. Not to mention his fear that that was how said opponent would read him, even though he'd probably never see the guy again, so who cared? "Do you mind? We're trying to play a game here."

Liliana tossed her hair back. "My girlfriend has been avoiding me, and I'm worried about her," she said tightly.

"I'm not your girlfriend," Jace muttered into his cards. "I'm not even a girl."

"Darling, you know I'm supportive of how difficult it is to be a woman in science—"

"Okay, that's it. Shut the fuck up." This time Jace didn't just glance up, he actively had to stop himself from dropping his cards on the table. Liliana was staring at his opponent with an expression of almost comical outrage on her face. Said opponent grinned back. "Thanks. Now shoo. Or do I have to get the store owner to kick you out for interfering with play?"

Liliana went pale except for the tips of her ears, which went red. "Where exactly do you get off telling me—"

"Where the fuck do you get off telling my boyfriend he's a girl? Seriously, bitch, fuck off."

"That's a pretty gendered—"

"So is telling Jace that he is a girl. Now get out."

"She's not your girlfriend."

"Well, no, I never said he was. Do you have a response, man?"

Slightly stunned, still trembling, Jace managed to stare at the board. "Y-Yeah, actually. I counter your counter with Swan Song."

His opponent whistled. "That'll do it. Forgot you had one-mana counterspells in there, that was pretty dumb of me. I was sitting here thinking 'well, at least he doesn't have Force of Will.'"

Liliana cleared her throat, but this time Jace ignored her entirely. "I—I attach Splinter Twin to Deceiver Exarch, tap it, and—"

The opponent laughed. "Yeah, I know how the combo works, I would've had mine going if I could've got Kiki-Jiki out without you countering him. I concede. Nice job. Why don't I come with you to report?"

Jace glanced at Liliana, who gave him another pleading, wounded look. "I don't want to talk to you, Lili," he said. "Please go away. I—my boyfriend and I are—are going on a date after this, so I just don't have the time." God, what a wonderful excuse. Jace thought he was in love with the guy across from him. He'd never been so abjectly grateful to a human being before in his life.

Rolling her eyes, Liliana finally conceded. "I'll call you later, Callisto."

"And my name is Jace," Jace said to her departing back in exasperation, before slumping over his cards. "Just—give me a minute," he said to his opponent. "Please."

"Anything for my boyfriend," the opponent said wryly. "Dude, your ex-girlfriend is a bitch."

"Yeah. Yeah, she really is." Covering his face with his hands, Jace took several long, deep breaths. "Thank you so much," he said.

"You wanna get a drink with me after the prizes?"

Jace restrained himself from saying, I would pin you to the floor and fuck you within an inch of your life for what you just did, and managed, "Um, y-yeah, actually, I'd like that."

"You could come back to my place afterwards and get the binder off if you want to have some time somewhere where she can't find you," the other man said, leaning forward and speaking quietly enough that his voice couldn't have been audible to anyone but Jace.

Jace's head whipped up. "You—you know—"

"Mmm."

"Jesus, man, thank you—"

"Firstly, I don't give a fuck because it's not my business. Secondly, I don't give a fuck because I had top surgery last year and if you need any advice, I'm absolutely your man." Jace sucked in another breath and stared, open-mouthed. "What? I don't usually introduce myself as hi-I'm-Ral-Zarek-I-was-born-without-a-dick, but it seemed relevant."

Jace had to laugh. "A drink sounds great, and maybe we could do a movie at your place, too?"

Ral grinned back. "It's a date." He paused and cocked his head to one side. "As long as you let me go over your decklist, you pulled off some pretty great things with a budget Twin deck."

"Sure." Jace reached out tentatively and brushed his fingers over the top of Ral's hand, and the man who was definitely-not-actually-his-boyfriend (yet?) turned it over and gave Jace's wrist a tight squeeze.

A/N2: I know this is weirdly meta, and I don't have a chance to mention most of it in the fic because it's rather short, but this is part of an AU series (maybe if I have more inspiration anyway) where all the walkers and some of the legendaries are MtG players. Which of course leads to the weird question what about the in-universe characters? Any in-universe character who's turned into a player doesn't have a card anymore, but other than that MtG is basically the same. For example, Ral's Splinter Twin deck (which incidentally is NOT budget) could have in its sideboard a copy of Ruya, Seer of the Eternities, who is this AU's version of the characteristic mono-U planeswalker.