I lifted up the hoe and brought it down again, and hummed a tune as I prepared the field.

"Ready the land, ready the hoe! Ready the plants with a water hose! Ready the harvest with a sickle stroke! Ready the crops, steady the food!" I sang happily, as I worked.

Hello, my name is Barzini, just a typical farmer living in Singapore. In games, we see that everyone, if they play the game well, would end up with 50000G everytime and kick an evil corporation out of their town? Please. That is total nonsense.

We have to practically buy the land ourselves, it is not always conveniently left behind by a late Grandfather. Also, we don't even have a barn or coop. Sure, we can buy them, but it is a lot more easier to build them! Also, guys and girls aren't so easy to woo, if you know what I mean. Really, it's not a simple matter of giving berries to him or her to gain two friendship points. I mean, this is the lousy reality!

In Singapore, everyone has to go through years of proper education, primarily because all of us are trained to do commercial farming through GR.

Green revolution in Geography, take that.

Anyway, I own a small plot of land in Singapore, where I grow blueberries and strawberries. I earn just enough to get by. I don't have a barn, I don't have a coop. Just a dog called Doraemon. Yeah, I'm childish. Whatever.

So, do we undergo education? Answer is yes. I take chemistry, where we learn about the Haber process, which is the process of creating fertilizer. In Physics, the angle by which water hoses should be fired, so as to conserve water and maximize the amount of land that can be watered per litre of water.

In Geography, we learn about the Green Revolution, Blue Revolution and the importance of water. History, things about food riots in Africa and other developing countries. In maths, differentiation for architecture in case we are building coops and barns. Oh yes, ratio for fertilizers with respect to acidity of soil.

School life is typical for all Singaporeans, any parents who did not send their children for education will be jailed and fined. Interestingly enough, despite being a democratic country, Singapore has been under control of one party for over 50 years.

I'm attending one of the Opposition Parties' rally today. I know... I am too young to vote... But...

The Opposition leader, Low Thia Kiang stepped onto the stage, holding a hammer, and the crowd erupted. I held up my own farming hammer and cheered.

"People of Singapore. Good evening. Thank you for coming to Aljuined farm today, to support, the Worker's Party." The leader said, and the crowd again roared.

I took out my HTC Touch and called my dear friend, Diane, anxious to alert her to my position, as she was in the stadium.

Correction: Or so I thought.

"Where are you? Low Thia Kiang is speaking already!" I shouted into the phone.

"What? What rally?" Diane murmured into the phone. Apparently, I woke her from her slumber.

Two things about Diane. She is always slacking, and she always sleeps. First chance she gets.

In fact, in school, a fire broke out and she was asleep at that time. I smacked her, and was squealing about fleeing and guess what's her reply?

"Let me burn!"

Xxx

"God! You wanted to attend the Opposition rally!" I shouted into the phone so that Diane can hear my voice above the din.

"I... Oh ya! I'll get there right now."

Xxx

I watched anxiously for my other favourite candidate within the Opposition to speak, but after two hours, there was still no sight of him.

"Where is my cat! Where is my Mao Mao!" I squeaked.

In Chinese, the term 'Mao' symbolizes cat, and the candidate's name is Chen Show Mao. Therefore, when I said "where is my Mao Mao?" I simply meant, where is my cat?

"Now, our next speaker for tonight will be Sylvia Lim, the chairman of the Worker's Party." The MC said and the crowd cheered.

"Where is my-" I was about to repeat a sentence until I heard a voice inform me, "I saw him in the MRT earlier. He is on his way here."

I turned around and saw Diane, in a T-shirt that screamed that she was a Green Day fan, big black spectacles...

Me? I always dress in a simple coloured T-shirt, and jeans. Oh yes, MRT stands for Mass Rapid Transit, or Singapore's version of a high-speed train.

"Brilliant." I said and gestured for her to sit down beside me.

"This rally is more awesome than I thought." Diane said in awe, and I nodded excitedly in agreement. I passed her a miniature flag of the Worker's Party to Diane.

And did I mention she speaks with a British-American accent which she picked up from an International School?

I am so envious of it, but sadly, though we grew up together at the orphanage, I have failed to pick it up, but instead, able to converse fluently in proper English, singlish (broken English with terms from various Chinese dialects, Malay thrown into one sentence) and Chinese.

Diane's Chinese ability... Let's not go into that...

"I trust you have done your homework already? Before you came here?" I asked, and as usual, she shook her head.

"I give up..." I threw my hands up and as if on cue, my Mao Mao stepped onto the podium.

"Boo Yeah! I shouted, and waved my hammer, as the crowd went into an uproar. Diane started chanting, "Worker's Party! Worker's Party!" and we laughed at our enthusiasm for people who aren't even old enough to vote.

Maybe that's the spirit of the Hammer.

Xxx

I took a hose and slowly walked across the field spraying water on my lifelines, also known as the trees which would later give me blueberries and strawberries. After I watered the field the size of one-eighth of a soccer field, I went into the toolshed and pulled out a small box containing bottles of insecticide. Well, it is sold to us in this huge barrel, but I packed them into small quantities that would be what is required for my field, in case I use too much. After that, comes the routine of killing weeds.

And when I am done...

"My plank... Ah!" I beamed as I found the long wooden panel which I had bought just three days ago.

"Now..." I lifted up the plank, and brought it into my traditional, but cosy little house. Wooden paneled flooring... Brown paint on the walls... A fireplace... Kitchen and toilet, and one simple bed.

"Let's see, Ah-Ha!" I pulled out my favourite book from the bookshelf, Lord of the Rings, and took out a thick brush from my bag, which I placed into a can of waterproof paint. Gold colour of course.

I took out the brush and in swift but firm strokes, copied the font style of Lord of the Rings to write the name of my farm.

Your allowed to name your farm at age 16, something you should be looking forward to since you first picked up the watering can.

After a few minutes, the words in gold, written according to the so-called Tolkien's font.

The Shire

I smiled at the board, and took out a chisel, and carved flower decorations around the corners of the board, before using a fine brush to add a slight touch of grey within the carved areas of decorations to give it a rustic touch.

"Volia!" I grinned and held up the board delicately, and left the house, after grabbing the ladder from my toolshed, I made it to the entrance of my farm, and nailed the board to its rightful place.

"Beautiful…" I muttered as I climbed down and admired my masterpiece.

"Wow, that's not bad at all."

I turned around and saw Diane, smiling at me and I waved.

"Beautiful isn't it? Oh… I can see it now… Welcome to The Shire… Land of peace and tranquility." I said with a sweeping gesture of my hand across my farm.

"Sure, it also emphasizes on the fact that you're a nerd." Diane said cheekily and I scowled.

"Hey… That was uncalled for." I said and Diane walked towards the end of the farm which had a nice view of the sea.

"How much did you get this land for? Sea view and all. Can't be cheap." Diane asked, and I nodded.

"I saved up for six years to get this piece of land. Cost me 600,000G… Including whatever money that my grandparents left me. My late parents' money of course, I did not touch." I said, and closed my eyes as the sea breeze swept in land.

"When you say money, you of course did not sell the items that your family left you?" Diane quizzed, and I gave her a look of utter exasperation.

"DUH! They're the only things close to heart that I have!" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"So, we going to go shopping or what?"

"Okay. Let's go then."

Xxx

"Cool! Check that out! Whole irrigation system on sale!" I looked on enviously as I walked past a shop specializing in high-end equipment.

"Diane! Look! Look!" I said excitedly as I saw the latest Genetically modified crop go on display, apparently they are weed-resistant.

"Diane?" I turned around and slapped my forehead in exasperation as I saw her clutching on her iPhone 4 like her lifeline, playing Zombie Café.

"You… Forget it." I said wearily and continued walking, looking at the new farming goods that always seem to attract my attention so much.

"This is interesting… Sprinklers will make farming easier by a lot… Oh! And this!" I squeaked excitedly as I took on the task of taking a brochure from the salesman, and scanning through it.

"30,000G… Saves water… Stainless steel… Channel water from existing well… Good!" I said satisfactorily, and looked up.

"When will this promotion end?" I asked the elderly salesman, who gave me a kind a smile.

"You have six months, dear child. Till then, I will always be here."

Xxx

"Are you serious? Your seriously going to save up 30,000G?" Diane asked me for the umpteenth time, and I nodded once again.

"Look. It will increase productivity by several folds! Several! And even if my farm expands, this irrigation system can still cover it!" I said, desperately trying to prove to her my point.

"But still… It's THIRTY THOUSAND! Not THREE HUNDRED!" She said loudly and I grunted.

"Yeah… Yeah… Yeah… Have you watered your crops?" My tone became serious, and Diane's face turned a slight red.

"I… I… I might have forgotten." Diane said, and I couldn't help but sigh.

"What if your crops wither again? You'll have to bunk in with me, and I'll have to give you another month's worth of food again!"

"Yes…. Fun, wasn't it?"

Xxx

This chapter will stop here… Because I need OCs! :D

Name:

Farm name:

Crops grown (Minimum one, maximum two):

Relations to either Barzini or Diane:

Note that no one can own a machinery or any livestock, yet.

This story will be co-authored between Diane, my friend in real life and myself. I write Chapter One, she writes Chapter Two, and we alternate.

I know some parts of this story is already, NOT the Lousy Reality. But hey, I can't make everyone happy!

So, the next chapter will be by Diane, and I shall wait until she moves her hand to the computer.

Meanwhile, what are you waiting for? REVIEW ALREADY :D