One

"Well," Adam said, pulling her closer to him, "why do I need a wife since I have you." he kissed her shoulder and moved his lips up to the back of her neck as she lay, her back to his front, his arms around her, one leg thrown over both of hers.

"You could have children then. Don't you want children, Adam?" She posed the question tentatively, fearing his answer.

"I want only you."

She sighed as Adam tucked his head against her neck, smelling her hair and her skin. He didn't care that she saw other patrons as long as she was available to him whenever he wanted her and she was; she would turn aside other men, to her madam's dismay, if Adam Cartwright showed up and if she was with someone else, she sent him away as quickly as possible and Adam would go to her room and watch as she bathed, washing the other man off of her. The young Chinese girl who served her would stand by with towels for her to wrap about herself and then Adam would rise from the bed and help dry her off. And then she would be his for as long as he liked.

"But Missy Anna," Wi Song would say when Anna had another man requesting her, "man angry. Him say you no see him, him no come back." And Adam would laugh no matter what the other man's ultimatum was and Anna, she would hold onto Adam tighter and tell Wi Song to tell the other man, no. No, she couldn't see him; she was busy. For Anna knew that the other man would always come back even though, deep down, she hoped he wouldn't. Anna would be happy to spend all her time with Adam, serving him, lying under him and catering to all his needs and desires even if it kept her a slave to Lady Bourbon, the madam.

Lady Bourbon, the name the brothel owner took to keep her actual name untainted, didn't want to alienate Adam Cartwright. He bought champagne and not the cheap bottles either, but the best champagne she had in the cellar. And he tipped well, not just the people who brought up the champagne, but Anna. When Lady Bourbon found out how well the rich dam Cartwright tipped, often leaving Anna as much as five silver dollars, she demanded a cut. Anna protested—the money Adam left her was for her and her alone—Adam said so, told to spend it on herself or—in a what Anna took as a snide comment, for her old age; she and Adam both knew that in another few years she'd have to fall on her back for a mere dollar having aged out of the business.

Miss Bourbon gave Anna an ultimatum: Either Anna gave Miss Bourbon 60% or she would have to rush through Adam Cartwright's time with her in order to make up the money lost by turning others away. If Anna didn't agree, well, although she was a valuable whore, there were always girls needing work.

Anna had been furious and shook with anger and fear—fear because Lady Bourbon's place was the best and cleanest brothel within the town's limits. If Anna had to find another house, her choices were only the cheaper ones where men were given only twenty minutes to complete their business before another man stood waiting outside the door, impatiently pounding. And a girl never knew what type of man she would entertain in sleazy places like that—and in what manner he required. Many a girl was left sobbing or groaning in pain—or even dead.

Besides, Anna had considered, she loved Adam Cartwright—as foolish as she knew that was—and he wouldn't go to one of the seamier places with fleas and unwashed sheets. He would just find someone else. So Anna agreed to her boss' terms.

"But Missy Anna," Wi Song would plead as other men waited to see her, "him angry. Him say you no see him, him no come back." And Adam would laugh no matter what the other man's ultimatum was and Anna, she would hold onto Adam tighter and order Wi Song to tell the other man, no. No, she couldn't see him; she was busy. For Anna knew that the men would always come back even though, deep down, she hoped they wouldn't. Anna would be happy to spend all her time with Adam, serving him, lying under him and catering to all his needs and desires.

But tonight, she was sad. Adam was late, later than his usual time on Fridays and she was mad with anxiety. She sent Wi Song out to the porch to watch for "Mistah Cartwright" and to come tell her when she saw him coming. But Wi Song didn't come up to her door despite Anna's mumbled, desperate prayers. Anna waited, rocking herself with her arms wrapped about her, as she sat in the plush, oversized chair in her room, her knees drawn, clothed in a silk wrapper with Chinese embroidery. Adam had given it to her. It had chrysanthemums and butterflies embroidered on the pale-yellow silk and Wi Song had told her that in China, chrysanthemums were luck for a happy marriage. She told Missy Anna that it was a wedding robe. But Anna never told Adam; she knew that he would only make a joke about her wearing such a piece of clothing and say that maybe one of her "patrons' would propose. Adam had no idea how very much she loved him and Anna knew that she couldn't tell him, wouldn't tell him, because he might then never see her again and that she wouldn't be able to bear.

Anna rose from the chair and began to pace as she felt the panic rising inside her. Why hadn't he arrived yet? Adam wasn't going to come that night—or any night, she told herself. But no, he had been late once before and still shown. And he would show—she knew he would. But in the back of her mind, she was worried about the other woman, the widow with the daughter. They might be keeping Adam away.

Anna had been at the milliner's last week and heard two of the sales girls gossiping about Adam Cartwright and a young, lovely widow; it was rumored that he was about to ask her to marry him. After all, the girls giggled to one another, he escorted her everywhere and if that wasn't enough to seal it, he spent just about every evening at her house.

"Does he stay really late?" one girl asked the other. It would be cause for scandal if he did. To the two young sales girls, Adam Cartwright was dark, handsome and mysterious and they could just imagine how he would be in bed with a woman. If he stayed late at the young widow's, they conjectured, it could be that he tumbled her before returning home to the Ponderosa.

"No, at least that's not what Tom told me. He says that from the bunkhouse they can hear when he leaves the Running D and he's usually gone by 8:30, 9:00. But he eats dinner there just about every evening.

"Well, I heard…" And then, Madam Pierre who owned the shop came out from the back with a new hat for Anna to try and chastised the two sales girls for gossiping. "Get back to work. Vite!"

Anna had also heard that Adam escorted the young widow and her daughter to church so that past Sunday, Anna had slipped into the back pew after services had begun and her throat closed when she spotted Adam sitting next to the lovely, small woman with blond, wavy hair and a stylish hat perched upon it. And during the services, Adam bent down to speak to a child, the young girl. Anna knew she should leave the church for the scene only caused her pain-but she couldn't. So she looked at the back of Adam's head, at his black glossy hair and the warm, mossy spot at the nape of his neck where the hair curled and where she liked to press her nose as he slept on his side with his back to her. He smelled so wonderful and warm. And she ached to be sitting beside him in church, to slip her arm through his and to stand and sing the Psalms with him and hear his deep, rich voice. But that, she knew, would be impossible so she slipped out of the church before the end of services.

And as Anna waited for him to arrive, she couldn't help but fear that Adam was with the pretty, young widow, eating Friday dinner with her, laughing with her, kissing her and then dandling the little girl on his knee; a family image. Anna felt an agonizing longing rise within her. And then she heard feet on the stairs, little running steps and Wi Song burst into the room.

"He coming! Mistah Adam riding up street!"

Anna collapsed on the chair, drained by her fears. But Adam would soon be here and her heart sang with anticipation of seeing his body fill the door frame.

She breathed deeply until her anxiety was under control. She needed to appear calm, to seem as if she had been quietly passing the time, not really concerned about his showing. She went to the open window and felt the cool air on her bare throat.

"Sorry I'm late."

She whirled around when she heard Adam's deep voice. "What?"

He came toward her, tossing his hat on the vanity. He slowly repeated, "I said, I'm sorry I'm late." He put his arms around her, pulling her next to him and clasping her buttocks through the silk. He lingeringly kissed her, his mouth moving on hers. Then he stopped with one last pull at her mouth, and looked at Wi Song who watched, grinning. "And you," he said to her, grinning back. "Why'd you take off running when you saw me? Did you have to warn Missy Anna that I was here?"

"No, no. Missy Anna send me to watch, see if you coming."

"Oh, really?" Adam looked at Anna with a quizzical expression. "Did you have to sneak another man out the window?'

"Don't be silly," Anna said, pulling away. "I just wanted…" But she didn't know what to say. How could she tell him that she was afraid that he was in love with the young widow and that he was going to marry the lovely blonde and give her up? She couldn't. She had no right to be possessive, especially since she lay with other men. But for her, the other men were merely business-no one else touched her emotions.

"Hey," he said as he reached for Anna again. "I'll always show up unless I tell you otherwise. Either that or I'll be dead and buried."

Her heart lifted; her fear had been for nothing.

"Wi Song," he said, pointing at the girl, "you need to leave. You're far too young to see what I'm going to do to Missy Anna."

Wi Song looked to her mistress. With other clients, she usually stayed in the room to help retrieve anything for her mistress and her client; some of them had strange requests, and she also stayed to learn the trade. Lady Bourbon had told Wi Song that when she became old enough, she could work as well and start to earn money.

"Go on, Wi Song," Anna said. "Go to your room. I'll ring for you if I need you." So Wi Song bowed and backed out of the room.

"Wait," Adam said, "here." And he tossed a silver coin which Wi Song eagerly caught.

"Oh, thank you, Mistah Adam! Thank you!" And the girl closed the door behind her.

"Now," he said, "let's take care of each other. I have been waiting all day for night to fall so that I could see you." He reached down and untied the silk belt that held Anna's wrapper shut and then pushed the robe off her shoulders and it fell to the floor, puddling around her feet. "Let me look at you." He stepped back and admired Anna. To him, she was the loveliest woman he had ever seen. It wasn't just that she was beautiful, and she was that, but it was the way she moved and her intelligence and humor. Adam adored her and yet, he knew she took other men, that she put her mouth on them and spread her shapely legs for them as well. But he tried not to think about those things. And yet sometimes when he was sitting at the widow's playing an innocuous game of cribbage or he was reading a book to her daughter, Adam would suddenly wonder if Anna was pleasing a man and if she was, who he was. Adam had always wanted to ask Anna who else she saw but then decided he didn't want to know; if he saw the men on the street or knew the man, he wasn't sure what he would do, how he would behave. The only thing he had ever said to Anna was that she wasn't to take his father or brothers. Besides, Anna was discreet and wouldn't have told him her other clients anyway and then he would have just given himself away, let her know that he was jealous and wanted her to himself.

Granted, in Lady Bourbon's small house, Anna had some say in who she took as clientele and the ability to turn a man away if his wants were too extreme. But between the five women who worked in the house, there was usually one of the other four girls who had no qualms about performing any act, no matter how unclean or repulsive. There was a girl for everyone but Lady Bourbon's girls were special—all beautiful, all talented and most important, all clean. And although Anna never cared for acts of perversion, had Adam wanted them performed, she would have done so just so he wouldn't go to someone else.

But here and now, they were just a man and a woman who wanted and needed one another so they could be who they really were, to be unashamedly naked, not just physically, but in their emotions, in their gaze and in their eagerness to see each other and who they really were with no artifice and no pretense.