A/N This is a oneshot I've written for my Secret Santa on tumblr, teaisahuginacup, based on a conversation.
As Kate stacked a packing box with books, she couldn't help but think how much things had changed over the past eight years. Eight years ago, she was a scared and damaged, unable to move past her mother's death and now she was in a healthy relationship with the man who helped her to break down the walls that had surrounded her heart. Kate Beckett was moving in with Richard Castle after three years of dating and, even though she was secure in her relationship, she was nervous. She had never really lived with a man, let alone a man-child like Castle. Other than the month long book tour he had to do the previous year they hadn't spent more than three nights apart in two and a half years. When Castle had returned from the tour they decided that living apart was just too much and that Kate would move in at the end of her lease.
She grabbed another pile of books and placed them carefully in the box, adding the titles to the list on the side of the box. With books being so important to both of them, she knew she would need proof that the good quality ones were hers at some point.
As much as she had hated having him shadow her to begin with, it didn't take long for her to begin to love having him around And hating the days he didn't show up. All these years later, she couldn't help but wonder what her life would be like now if he hadn't forced himself into her life. It scared her to imagine the alternative; the emptiness and anger that she would carry every day. Kate had always thought that she was fine, that she didn't need closure, but she wasn't, and she did. She buried herself in her work, hoping to hide from the reality of her pain.
Kate reached for the final stack of books but, instead of placing them in the box with the other books, she carried the books to the lounge, taking a seat. She placed the books in her lap and opened the topmost book, smiling as her thoughts drifted back to the first time she read it. Her college roommate had recommended it and she had borrowed the already worn copy the weekend after finals. It had been a good read, but she hadn't loved the book completely, at least not that first read. Despite that, her roommate had given her a pile of books by the same author for her birthday. Soon after, her father rang with the news that had ruined her life.
The books stayed in the bottom of her suitcase for six months. The day she opened the suitcase once more was the day that she made the decision that changed her life. It had taken Kate some time to have the courage to read the other books, but once she began, she struggled to stop. She held the books close to her; these were the words that saved her.
{Kate&Rick}
Kate carried her final box into the lounge of Rick's - no, their - loft. It was the box she had packed that afternoon, filled with books. Rick sat with his laptop on the lounge, watching her as she walked in.
"That's the last one."
"I thought you said you didn't have much stuff?"
Kate smiled as she placed the box on the coffee table. "I suppose I had more stuff than I had thought"
Rick let a grin cross his face as he closed his laptop and placed it at his feet. "You know, things have really changed over the past few years."
"Really?" Kate said as she sat in Rick's lap.
"I was just looking over the notes I made as I was beginning Heat Wave."
Kate's cheeks flushed red as she remembered the secrets, the lies and the games that had been played. "I'm not sure I want to know."
Rick sighed softly, wrapping his arms around Kate's torso. "Well it's there if you want to see it. You know, no secrets and all that"
"Speaking of which," Kate said as she stood from Rick's lap and walked to the box she had placed on the table. She hadn't sealed it, knowing that she would want the contents sooner rather than later. She reached into the box and pulled out a stack of books that had a ribbon tied around them. "No more secrets," she finished as she placed the books in Rick's lap.
Castle had a look of confusion on his face and Kate knew he was wondering why she would give him books he had written himself. "Um, I'm not sure I understand."
Kate grinned at him. "You will. These books, they're important to me. They're the last secrets I have. No more secrets." She leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'm going to finish with my clothes." She exited the living room, leaving Rick to discover her secrets himself.
{Kate&Rick}
Rick slowly untied the red ribbon that Kate had fastened around the books. He was curious to say the least, but also a little scared. She had said that they were her final secrets and, although he had teased her about her past, he wasn't sure he wanted to know everything.
The book at the top of the pile was In a Hail of Bullets, the first book he had written. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the cover. On the front page, Kate had written "The first words I read."
Rick smiled as he placed the book aside. He looked down at the next book, At Dusk We Die. He found another message written inside, "When I fell in love with your words"
Deadly Storm was the next book in the pile. Rick was slightly surprised as he had never really heard Kate talk about Derrick Storm. When he made the decision to bring the character back, Kate hadn't said a word, even though it meant he would no longer be fictionalizing her. Surprisingly, Ryan was devastated. Rick opened the cover and, rather than finding a message from her, it was another surprise. "To Kate, Thanks for the support, Enjoy, Richard Castle." He hadn't known that Kate had gotten a book signed, although he did sense she was a fan. He flipped to the next page where Kate had left him a message, "When we first met"
The next book in the pile was Death of a Prom Queen. He was pretty sure he knew what the message would be, and he was right. Inside the front cover, in Kate's writing was "The book that brought us together..."
The next book in the pile was Flowers For Your Grave. Inside this book, Kate had written "... and I realised that you were an ass." He shook his head, smiling as he remembered how hostile Kate had been towards him. It made so much more sense now that he knew her so well.
The next book in the pile was Heat Wave. He was a little worried about what Kate may have written for her in this book. He held his breath as he opened the cover, and found nothing. He kept turning pages until he reached his own dedication, "To the extraordinary KB and all my friends at the 12th". Underneath, she wrote "The book where I stopped hating you..."
As he placed his first Nikki Heat book aside, he was not surprised to find Naked Heat underneath it. This time, he flipped directly to the dedication he had left to her, "To the real Nikki Heat, with gratitude". Kate had written underneath it once more, "... and the one where I started loving you."
Casting that aside, the next book was Heat Rises. Under the dedication he had made out to Montgomery was Kate's message, "The book where I realised you love me too and learnt how much I need you in my life."
As eager as before, Castle placed the book with the others and opened Frozen Heat to the dedication page where he had written "To all the remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating people who inspire us to do great things..." and saw the three words Kate had written beneath them, "I love you". A smile crept across his face, as it did whenever Kate said it to him. It didn't matter that they had told each other how much they loved one another thousands of times, it always felt like the first.
There were two books remaining. The next was Storm Front. On the first page of the book, Kate had written "The book where you taught me that the past doesn't matter, only the future..." Having brought Storm back from the dead in Storm Front the previous year, Rick certainly knew what Kate meant. I their relationship they had moved forward from the past as well. Their lives well and truly imitated his art.
He placed the book aside and opened up the final book Kate had put in the bundle.
{Kate&Rick}
Kate watched from the bedroom door as Rick opened the final book she had set aside and written in that morning. She knew he had read the message as he looked up at her and practically ran towards her, book still in hand. He dropped the book and engulfed her in a passionate kiss.
"Always Kate, Always."
She smiled, looking down at the book that was still open to the page she had written on, "Let's spend our future together. Marry me."