Princess Emma
(A/E: Hello, everyone. This is the chapter I'd like to add for 'Meg's Family Returns', but Malcolm Fox haven't respond it yet. So, I decided to post it as a one-short. This particular chapter is to introduce my OC Eddie Walker in Malcolm's story. If you're reading this, man, I hope you enjoy it as well as everybody else.)
It starts out in the Griffins' house; Maddie and Cody were playing Battleship. They were pretty bored.
"E-7" Maddie said.
"You missed" Cody said "F-12"
"You missed" Maddie said "God, this game is more boring than the movie it was based on!"
"Shut up, nothing is more boring than that piece of crap!" Cody said.
"Okay, kids, I'm going to the mall with Raven" Meg said "Please, obey your grandma"
"Not grandpa?" Maddie asked.
"No, don't listen to anything he says" Meg answered "Last time I did, it wasn't pretty"
Flashback
"Meg, quick!" Peter called " Maddie is trapped in the basement with wolves!"
"OH MY GOD, MY BABY!" Meg screamed as she got into the basement.
Peter closed the door.
Wait, where's Maddie? OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY BIT ME! AAAAAAAHHHHH!
"Hehehehehe, she doesn't know it's actually Quagmire in disguise" Peter said.
Then Quagmire appeared with a dog costume.
"I'm ready, Peter!" Quagmire said "I couldn't find a wolf costume, but this will work fine!"
"Oh-oh, Zack is gonna kill me" Peter said.
OH MY GOD! IT'S EATING MY FOOT!
"Worth it..." Peter said.
Flashback's end
"Luckily, an afternoon in the mall with my BFF will make me feel better" Meg said until her cellphone rang "Hello? Hey, Raven! I'm coming out of my house!"
A line divided the screen to show Raven.
"Yeah, about that...I'm not going out to the mall today" Raven said
"What?!" Meg asked "Why?!"
"I'm...very...busy right now" Raven answered "Next time, okay?"
Raven phoned off as Meg was shocked by the sudden cancellation to the mall.
"No, why did my BFF cancel a very fun day in the mall?" Meg asked.
"Well, maybe she finally opened her eyes and saw what you really are!" Peter said "Hehehehehehe-" then he got kicked very hard in the balls by Meg "OW! Why did you buy a metal prosthetic leg!"
"Great, now my plans are ruined!" Meg said.
"Come on, Mom" Maddie said "You can always play with us!"
"Thank you, kids" Meg thanked "But now I'm not in a mood right now...I'm going to cry in my room, then have sex with your father, then cry a little more and finally going to sleep"
Meg went upstairs to her room.
"Poor Mom, I hate when somebody breaks a promise to her" Maddie said.
"Come on, you do that all the time" Cody said.
"This is different!" Maddie said "We must go to Raven's house and see what is she hiding!"
"Cool, we'll be like those twins from Gravity Falls!" Cody said.
Cutaway
Dipper and Mabel found a skeleton in the closet.
"Oh my god, somebody died in the closet!" Dipper said.
"Come on, Dipper" Mabel said "I'm sure it's a Halloween decoration!"
Them Grunkle Stan appeared.
"Wow, looks like you kids found my grandmother" Grunkle Stan said.
Cutaway's end
Maddie and Cody were in the bushes spying Raven's house.
"Thank god I got Stewie's high-tech binoculars" Cody said.
"Why would he burrow them to you?" Maddie asked.
"He didn't, I use his gadgets without permission" Cody answered "What other way I'd use his machine to create clones of ourselves?"
Flashback
We see deformed versions of Maddie and Cody as Peter were playing with them.
"I'm Bitch Cody!" Cody said.
"And I'm Bitch Maddie!" Maddie said.
"Cool, my grandchildren got 20% cooler!" Peter said.
Flashback's end
They kept spying on Raven's room; they saw Raven listening music on her iPod until somebody came out: a brunette girl who wears a purple princess dress similar of Princess Sofia from Sofia the First. She was carrying a plate of two hot chocolate cups.
"Oh my god, she's cheating on Mom...with another friend!" Maddie said.
"Don't be stupid, Maddie, girls don't cheat on each other with another girl friend" Cody said as they kept watching as Raven and the girl started...making out! "Now she's cheating on her"
"Wait a minute, why are we talking about 'cheating'?" Maddie asked "Anyway, I can't believe Raven is a lesbian!"
"That's the most shocking thing I've ever seen since I saw fanarts of Five Nights At Freddy's" Cody said.
Flashback
Cody watched on DeviantART several fanarts Five Nights At Freddy's, some of them were terrifying, while others...they're all look like either cute versions or Anime versions of the characters who fall in love and have sex.
"Okay, this is more disturbing than the games themselves!" Cody said.
"If you think that's disturbing, take a look at Undertale's" Maddie said.
Flashback's end
Next day at James Woods High School; Raven was taking her books out of the locker and she was about to close it, but...
"No, I won't close the locker, because that will reveal a person next to me asking questions I don't want to answer...oh, what the hell" Raven said.
She closed the locker to reveal an upset Meg.
"How could you do this to me?!" Meg asked.
"What are you talking about?" Raven asked.
"Don't fool me, I know why you ditched my invitation to the mall!" Meg answered.
"I was...SICK!" Raven said, nervously "I had fever, so I was hot as hell"
"Hot as the chocolate you drank with your 'friend'?!" Meg asked.
"I don't know who told you that ridiculous story" Raven answered.
"Really?" Meg asked, showing her cellphone with photos of Raven making out with her girlfriend.
"Wait, where did you get these?!" Raven asked.
"My kids took these pictures and sent them to me" Meg answered.
"These brats, they should be punished!" Raven said.
"Actually, I should thank them for telling me your secret" Meg said "Raven, it's okay you're pretending to be a lesbian. I did the same a long time ago"
"I'm not a lesbian!" Raven said.
"Well, the way you kiss her tells the opposite" Meg said.
"ARGH!" Raven grunted "Okay, you got me. But believe it or not, she's not...god, how do I put this...? She's...different from all the girls of Quahog, okay?"
"So, you're telling me she's not like Connie D'Amico, right?" Meg asked "Sounds promising!"
"Do you want to meet her?" Raven asked.
"I'd LOVE to!" Meg said "A girlfriend of yours it's also my girlfriend! Wait, that doesn't sounds right. But anyway, you're both invited to my house for dinner! And don't you dare to ditch this invitation this time!"
"Okay, okay" Raven said "Just promise me if they misbehave, you won't become a goth like the last time"
"I promise" Meg said "This will be more exciting than meeting Mila Kunis!"
Flashback
Meg was in Hollywood where she met Mila Kunis...who look EXACTLY like her, except for her hair and outfit.
"Oh my god, you're Mila Kunis!" Meg cheered.
"Uh...yeah, do you want my autograph?" Mila Kunis asked.
"SURE!" Meg said, giving her a piece of paper as she signed it out "I hope one day I'll be as beautiful as you!"
"Yeah...sure..." Mila Kunis said "*thinking* All you need if change your hairstyle and clothes"
Flashback's end
The Griffins were getting ready for Raven and her girlfriend.
"I can't wait to meet Raven's girlfriend" Meg said, excited "Maybe we can go to a double-!"
"HELL NO!" Zack said "Every time we get one, it ends up badly! Remember our last double date?"
Flashback
Meg and Zack's double date was with a blonde guy and a brunette woman.
"So, tell us about your parents" Meg said.
"Well, my dad wears a hockey mask" the guy said.
"And my dad gets into people's dreams" the woman said.
"Wait, what?" Zack asked.
Then Jason Voorhies and Freddy Krueger crashed the restaurant and they were fighting to the death.
"You're going to hell!" Freddy said as he looked at his daughter "Oh, hi, honey"
Flashback's end
"Don't worry, Meg, we promise we'll behave our best" Lois said "That's why I locked down Peter in our room with beers and porn"
"Good" Meg praised it.
DING-DONG!
"THEY'RE HERE!" Meg cheered.
When she opened the door, she was received by a well-dressed guy with a trumpet.
*trumpet sounds*
Meg covered her ears from that sound.
"Announcing the arrival of Princess Emma Oldman and her guest Raven...! Uh, I don't remember her last name" the British announcer said.
'Princess Emma' (wearing her princess dress, except this time she's wearing jewels such as a tiara, necklaces and bracelets) and Raven (wearing a black suit) came out of the carriage.
"Oh...my...god" Meg said, astonished.
"What?" Raven asked "You've never seen Cinderella? Anyway, Emma, this is my friend Meg Griffin. The girl I talked about to you"
"You're so...BEAUTIFUL!" Meg said.
"Oh, dear, I must say that with your comment, you gave a good impression of you" Emma said.
"Thank you!" Meg thanked "I hope we become friends too! Come on in!"
Meg let Emma into her house first.
"Well, so far, so good" Raven said.
The dinner was going fine as everybody (except Peter, who's still in his room with his beer and porn) was enjoying Emma's company.
"So, you guys met in...what was the intern school's name again?" Lois asked.
"The stupid place that my folks forced me to go: the 'Academic Institution of Disciplined Sissies' or 'AIDS'" Raven answered "I'd rather to have the latter one..."
"You see, after my parents got divorced, I was an awful child who used to bully innocent girls" Emma explained her backstory "But my mother found this wonderful place that turned me into a lovely princess"
"She made my 'prison life' more tolerable and the best part: they couldn't transform me" Raven said.
"I love you just the way you are, my cute spider" Emma said as she kissed her.
"Well, you guys really are into your gay relationship" Brian said "Couldn't be any more proud"
"Thanks...but...the thing is...I'm not like one of the girls" Emma said
"Raven told me, you're not like that bitch of Connie D'Amico, right?" Meg asked.
"Well, no, but that's not the only thing" Emma said "You see, I usually don't tell this to anybody"
"Emma, please don't" Raven said.
"I gotta tell them, I have to be honest" Emma said.
"Telling us, what?" Lois asked.
"*masculine voice* My real name is Eddie...and I'm a guy" Eddie/Emma said.
*everybody gasps*
Suddenly, Peter came out with a DVD porn.
"Lois, this porn has poor video quality" Peter said as everybody was watching his family's reaction "What's going on? Did Donald Trump become president?"
Cut break
"Okay, let me get this straight: you're actually a guy who used to be a bully who picked on girls until your mother turned you into a sissy?" Zack asked.
"What's a sissy?" Maddie asked.
"I'm a feminine guy" Eddie/Emma answered "I mean, I'm 100% straight, but I love crossdressing"
"The sick bastards from 'AIDS' brainwashed her" Raven said.
"It was for the best in my case" Eddie/Emma said "My former bully self was just awful and if being a well-mannered princess makes me a better person, I'm gonna continue being *feminine voice* Princess Emma"
"Well, I'm happy for you and I hope we become friends" Meg said.
"And don't let anyone make fun of your sexuality" Brian said.
"Well, I've just thought in a very funny-OW!" Peter said, getting kicked in the balls by Meg.
"You will NOT make fun at my new BFF!" Meg said.
"I really need to get rid of that metal leg..." Peter said.
Next day, in James Woods High School, Meg and Raven were talking in the hallways.
"I gotta tell you, your girlfriend is fabulous" Meg said.
"Well, I'm glad you accepted her despite being a crossdresser" Raven said.
"Are you kidding? She's the nicest person in the world!" Meg said as she let out a big disappointing sigh "It sucks that she's not studying here"
But then Emma appeared behind of them.
"Is this James Woods High School?" Emma asked.
Meg squaled like a fangirl and hugged her.
"YOU'RE HERE!" Meg cheered.
"What are you doing here?" Raven asked.
"My mother allowed me to transfer her" Emma said.
"Really? That's awesome!" Raven said.
"More like SUPER AWESOME!" Meg said as she heard the bell "Oh-oh, we're late for gym"
Both girls and Emma got into the girls' lockers where everybody was undressing. Meg was wearing a pink bra and matching panties while Raven was wearing a black sports bra and matching boy-shorts.
"Wait, Emma, you shouldn't change here or they'll kick you out" Raven said.
"WE DON'T MIND" all the girls in the girls' locker said.
"She told us she's a crossdresser boy and we thought she looks hot" Roberta said, as she's wearing a skimpy leopard-print lingerie.
"Well, I hope you don't mind seeing a guy's pe-" Raven said as she looked at Emma.
Once Emma took off her princess dress, she revealed a very slender body with a round butt and big breasts covered with a lacy purple bra and matching panties. There's not even signs of her manhood.
"H-How did you...?" Meg asked, astonished.
"My mother got me the most realistic breast forms she could find, I did some exercises to get a thin waistline and I perfectly tuck my-" Emma explained.
"That's too much information, honey" Raven said.
"Hey, haven't you get the feeling that some pervert is spying on us while he's masturbating?" Meg asked.
"That's ridiculous, Meg" Raven said.
But they don't realize there's small cameras and they all belonged to Quagmire, who's watching this from his laptop.
"Jackpot!" Quagmire cheered "Thank you, Amazon!"
In the Griffins' house, the family was having dinner as Meg was talking about how great Emma is.
"I'm telling you, Emma is the most fabulous friend I've ever got" Meg said.
"Yes, sounds as amazing as the other 157 times you mentioned" Zack said.
"Really? Not a million?" Meg asked "Then I'll keep saying until reach a million!
Everybody groaned.
"Nice move, jackass!" Peter insulted.
"Well, how about if tonight we..." Zack said, trying to seduce her.
"Oh, tomorrow we'll go to his mother's boutique!" Meg said "His mother has a boutique! Did I mention his mother's boutique?!"
"God, she became more annoying than Jar Jar Binks and Darcy Lewis from Thor having sex!" Stewie complained as he expected a clip "What? No clip?"
"I asked the editor to delete it" Brian answered.
"What? Why?" Stewie asked.
"You wanna annoy our readers to death?" Brian asked.
"Good point" Stewie answered.
Next day, in a boutique called 'Inner Beauty', they met Emma's mother: a blonde woman about Peter and Lois's age. She wears a blue blouse, white pants and blue shoes.
"Guys, this is my mother Helena Oldman, owner of 'Inner Beauty' boutique" Emma said.
"I already met Raven, but not you" Helena said, talking to Meg.
"My name is Meg Griffin, it's a big honor to meet you" Meg said.
"The honor is mine" Helena said "I'm proud of Emma for having such accepting friends"
"Mom, did you make these designs?" Eddie asked, looking at some beautiful dresses.
"Oh, yes" Helena said "I need models to try these one. Would you be my models?"
"YES!" Emma and Meg amswered.
"Uh...I don't wanna sound rude, but..." Raven said.
"I also made one for your taste" Helena said, showing off a gothic style dress.
"Oh, what the hell" Raven said, convinced.
They spent a good time trying on dresses, swimsuits and even lingerie.
Meanwhile, in the Griffins' house; Zack was sitting on the couch and feeling bummed out. But Cody and Maddie appeared to approach him.
"What's up, Dad?" Cody asked.
"Shouldn't you working in the local store?" Maddie asked.
"It's closed until Carl recovers himself from the trauma he got from Nikki's hostage" Zack answered.
"Then why you feel bummed out?" Cody asked.
"Meg is spending too much time with 'Princess Drag Queen' and I feel neglected" Zack answered
"Don't you mean 'jealous'?" Maddie asked.
"I said 'neglected'" Zack answered.
"What's the difference?" Cody asked.
"Look, Dad, if you want to recover Mom's attention, you gotta do something she likes" Maddie said.
"I can't believe I'm gonna ask this to my troublesome daughter, but...any ideas?" Zack said.
"Luckily, I called Quagmire's transgender dad to help you" Maddie said.
"Hello, Zack boy!" Ida greeted.
"I don't like where this is going" Zack said, shaking of fear.
"Trust her, just like the people who trust more on Godzilla than Superman" Cody said.
Cutaway
We see the people who was congratulating Godzilla for killing off the M.U.T.O.s.
"Good job, Godzilla!" a guy said.
"We love you!" a woman said.
Then Superman (the one from Man of Steel) appeared.
"Hey, what about me?!" Superman asked "I did the same thing!"
"You destroyed half of the city!" the guy said.
"And killed thousands of people! the woman said.
"So, let me get this straight: if two super powerful men destroy a city, it's awful. But if THREE GIANT MONSTERS do that, it's OKAY?!" Superman asked.
"Jealous, Supe?" Godzilla asked.
"You know what? I'll go to Gotham City to kick Batman's ass" Superman said, flying away.
Cutaway's end
It was sunset already and the boutique was closed. But the four women (okay, three, plus one feminine guy) decided to stay here for a while to drink some coffee and chat a little.
"And then I asked 'Are you pigging me?" Raven said as everybody laughed "I'd wish to remember the rest of the joke"
"That's okay, babe" Emma said "I still love you"
"And I love you two, guys" Meg said "You're the best friends I've ever had!"
"I'm proud of Emma for having such wonderful friends" Helena said "I was not easy to raise him, ever since I divorced from my husband"
"I never knew, why did you guys divorced?" Raven asked.
"You see, my ex-husband Frank's parents died on a plane crash and we were devastated" Helena answered as she started explaining her backstory "When we read their testament, we found out he inherited 2.5 million dollars!"
"DAMN!" Raven said, impressed "Excuse my language"
"I'd wish it would make things better...how wrong we were" Helena said "After that, Frank became so greedy and arrogant with such much money that she left me with two supermodels. Both of them, barely legal!"
"Argh, I'd like to kick him in the nuts!" Raven said.
"Me too!" Meg said.
"Mom, you're a beautiful woman, you'll find another man who's nice and accept me" Emma said.
"Thanks, Emma, but I'm happy working in my own boutique and living with you" Helena said.
"And we're happy for having Emma as our friend" Meg said.
"Thanks, but I doubt you'd like my...bully self" Emma said as she took out something from her purse.
"What are you taking out?" Raven asked.
"I wanted to tear it up and threw it away, but I keep it as a reminder" Emma answered, showing a photograph "This is me...when I was a kid"
The photograph showed a stereotypical bully kid: messed and greasy hair, buck teeth, overweight, he wears a black shirt with a skull, ripped off jean shorts, and black boots.
"Oh my god, I gotta admit, you had a pretty neat look" Raven said "He looks more intimidating than your step-son, Meg"
But Meg took a look at the picture very closely and then she suddenly had a flashback.
Flashback
A 6 years old Meg was peacefully eating her P&B and jelly sandwich until the bully from photograph appeared.
"Well, well, well, that sandwich looks delicious, would you like to trade? With my KNUCKLE sandwich?!" The bully asked.
*POW*
Little Meg was punched in the face, getting a black eye and on the ground. The bully evilly laughed as he left, eating the sandwich.
Flashback's end
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Meg screamed.
"What's going on, Meg?" Emma asked.
"Get away from me!" Meg shouted "You humiliated me, beat me, turned my childhood into a hell!"
"Megan, I can assure you that my son has changed for the better" Helena said.
"Yes, we're friends now, remember?" Emma asked.
"I wouldn't be friends with a SISSY!" Meg answered, making Emma and Helena gasped.
"Meg, what the hell?!" Raven asked, angered "You're going too far!"
"I don't care, I don't wanna be friends with a somebody who bullied me!" Meg said "This friendship is OVER!"
She ran away, crying.
"Damn, this sucks more than the Fantastic Four reboot" Raven said.
Flashback
Raven was watching the movie.
"This one should definitely return to Marvel" Raven said.
Flashback's end
Meg was in her room, crying...as always.
KNOCK-KNOCK
"Go away!" Meg shouted.
Meg, it's me, Zack! I got a surprise for you!
"Okay, go on..." Meg said.
Zack came in...and he was dressed like a punk girl: pink mohawk, make-up, piercings, bracelets, a black blouse with the words 'SASSY' pink letters on it, jean shorts over fishnet tights and blue sneakers.
"Do I look hot?" Zack asked.
"I'm not in a mood for role playing" Meg answered.
"Oh, come on!" Zack said "I did it to prove you I can be as hot as Emma! Or Eddie or...whatever"
"Yeah, don't even bother, we're not longer friends" Meg said "I found out he used to bully me when I was a little girl"
"Really?" Zack asked "Not again..."
"What do you mean 'not again'?" Meg asked.
"Remember when you hated me, because we found out I bullied you in your first day of high school?" Zack asked.
"Yeah...wait...oh my god, that's happened again, but with Emma!" Meg said.
"Except I never went to a sissy academy" Zack said as he started scraping his back "Thank god, I'd hate wearing a bra all the time"
"Oh my god, what have I done?" Meg asked "She was already nice to me and I treated her like the Westboro Baptist Church to gay people!"
Cutaway
We see Shirley Phelps (who looks like Immortan Joe from Mad Max: Fury Road) riding with her army of WBC people.
"We're going to destroy all these MEDIOCRE people and send them to hell!" Shirley said, with a very masculine voice.
"WHAT A LOVELY DAY!" a WBC guy screamed as he jumped off the wagon.
"Argh, less than competent guy!" Shirley complained.
Cutaway's end
Next day at school, Rave and Emma were chatting until a regretful Meg showed out.
"Hello, guys" Meg said.
"Ugh, what do you want now?" Raven asked "Telling Emma how much she sucks?"
"Dear, please, let her speak" Emma said.
"I just want to apologize to you, Emma" Meg said "You showed me how wonderful you became and when I found out you were this awful boy who used to bully me. I...ugh, why does life is so ironic?!"
"Because God hates us?" Raven asked.
"Would you ever forgive me?" Meg asked.
"Meg, there's nothing to forgive you" Emma answered.
Really?" Meg asked.
"Okay, I was a little hurt that you called me 'sissy'" Emma said "But despite of this. I still wanna be your friend"
"Of course you can! In fact, I still wanna be your friend too!" Meg said.
They both hugged.
"Come up here, dear" Emma said.
"Oh, what the hell" Raven said as she joined the hug.
End of the chapter