This warning will be in every chapter 'cause it's too long to fit on the summary. deal with it. (although THAT. Will only be on the first one. Because. We can.)

Warning: This is pure crack and random. So if you can't take randomosity seriously, then please go see your family doctor. Some(most?) of our words aren't words, and our grammar can (will) be sloppy are your gramma (kidding... sorta). And if you have any problems with this fanfiction, talk to the foot 'cause the hand doesn't care.

Disclaimer: We don't own any of the shizzle we reference from and probably wouldn't want to unless we want to be mauled by chimaeras, dragons, rabbits and the likes.

Eruza's POV. 'Cause it can be. :P

Our first Guinea Pi—I mean, specimi- I mean… umm… yeah. Specimen. Is…. The one and retardedly, Light I-Ma-Ga—I mean. Light Yagami! Welcome and we hope you have a miserable time. ^_^

"What is this… GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACEEEEEE!" DDDl. That was Light. There are rainbows coming out of his ears…

"... I'll make blood come out of every hole in your body!" :DDDD ... That. was Kairii. She's high today. ... And yesterday. And the day before that... -

"SHUUUDUP ALREADY. YOU KNOW WHAT. IF YOUR GOING TO GET ON WITH THIS. GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY." ... Light as you can see. Has lost it.

"Never had it ... "-_- And thank you Mika for pointing out the obvious.

I. Eruza. Am currently enjoying the magicalfully spectaculest spectacle of Light eshploding.

Basically, as said in the summary, we are now going to present (and preform) 20 horriblec, amazingful, magiciel and mind-shizzling things to our favorite(and therefore now eaten) characters.

#1) Eat his Death Note.

"NONONO WAIIT- ANTHING BUT-"

"Too late bro..." I look over at Light with a satisfied grin on my face, death notes are good dudes. Was that foam coming out of his mouth...? DAAMN.

... he's crying now... :)

#2) Tell his dad Light's gay.

Mr. Yagami answers the door with a ticked off look on his face. Why? Well. It's three int he morning. Outside the door, is the one and only, Kairii.

Forgetting his manners due to the early hours and sleep deprivation Soichirou scowled, "Who the hell are you?"

Ignoring his question, more of a demand really, "Mr Yagami. Did you know your son's gay?"

"What the-" With a deer-in-head-lights look being swapped with a look of anger, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU-" but before he got to finish, Kairii slammed his own door in his face... and ran for her life.

Back in the house, stunned and extremely annoyed, Soichirou raged,"LIGHTTTTT! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

Looking tired and equally pissed off (although he didn't show it in front of his own father)"What?"

Soichirou walked up to light so their noses were almost touching. "Are you gay?" he demanded with cold menace.

Looking stunned Light stepped back "wha-what..."

"ARE. YOU. GAY?"

"NO! Why- why are you even asking something like that...? AT THREE IN THE MORNING TO-"

Mrs Yagami and Sayu stands at the top of the stairs looking amused. I think Sayu is giggling.

"Those magazines you had... what were you trying to do? Trick me?"

"Wha-what?" Light's sweating now.

Sayu's giggling became louder "Told you those magazines would work...ehehe.. hehe..."

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME." his father yelled as he looked as capable of eating a cow. MOO.

(that was a long roleplay... O.O)

#3) Give him a hard core mohawk while he sleeps.

#4)Chain him to a chair and make (let?) a two year old give him a tattoo. :)

#5) Starve Light and put him in a cage with Mello and one chocolate bar.

#6) Distract him while he's writing a test and make him fail.

Mika looked at light with a (many) evil gleam(s) in her eye(s). She starts poking him. HARD.

"... that looks fun" I join in. Then Kairii. And L. Mello. Matt. Matsuda... yes. even Matsuda.

#7) Strap him to a chair and make him watch yu-gi-oh(they don't deserve capitals. :( ) reruns.

"NOO.! I ALREADY WATCHED THESE EPISODES." TT^TT ... Yes this. Is your beloved murderer's response to this situation.

#8) Stick him in a zoo cage with GRELL. ; u;

#9) Stick him in an alligator's mouth.

#10) Then the other end.

"So ... vile..." Mika stared wided eyed at the spectacle.

"You know you love it."

#11) Make Light spend an hour with us crackos.

"THIS. IS TOO CRUELLL. MERCYYYY. I'M BEGGING YOU!" He's crying so much, we are now swimming. "KAY. L, I. AM. KIRA. NOWWW. KILL MEE!" :DD

"No can do bro." My rape face is impressive. Even Sebastian thinks so.

#12) Make him eat Grell's left foot cooked by yours truely, Mika, Kairii, Orihime(Bleach), and Yuuki(Vampire Knight).

#13) Somehow trick him to write his own name in the death note.

"Hey, Light... How do you write your name...? HERE! USE THIS!" My face expressionless as I gave him a slip of paper that I had previously ripped out of the death note.

He starts writing. I'm overwhelmed with adrenaline.

"Here." His face dead-pan.

I start to grin. Then stopped dead. I turned away and speed walked the hell out of there.

"So how'd it go?" Kairii's poked and stabbed.

"No good. ... He spelled Light wrong."

#14) Chuck him into Deadman Wonderland. (If you don't know what that is, then shame on you.)

#15)Make him sing his favorite song. In front of (OVERNINETHOUSAND) people.

"Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness

I need to calculate

What creates my own madness

And I'm addicted to your punishment

And you're the master

And I am waiting for disaster

I feel irrational

So confrontational

To tell the truth I am

Getting away with murder-"

...

...

Dead silence.

Kaiiri comes out with the awkward turtles.

"Crap." Please excuse his fugly language.

Looking stern and holding handcuffs L approaches Light, "I'll take that as a confession."

#16) Tell L he's Kira.

#17)Make him read Vampire Knight and Twilight and watch him slave over his law book(s) fo justice for Hino Matsuri. (for the record I couldn't care less about VK but Hino-sama is boss soo...:DD)

#18) Hide his hair spray. His wallet. And his shoes. Just 'cuz.

#19) Find some dude to beat him at tennis.

#20) Whenever (if-ever) the guy says thank you, your welcome etcetra. Ask him if he's (deathly?) ill. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Well. Our work here is done. At my feet, are the ashes of the once was Light Yagami. Rest in pieces.