Je m'excuse auprès de mes lecteurs francophones qui n'auront pas accès à ce texte, mais il a été écrit dans le cadre d'un cours d'écriture directement en anglais et je n'avais pas envie de le traduire.
Girls Like You Love Me Forever
.
He was a woman.
At least, Butters was a woman, now. He had the dress and the shoes and the make up. He had the breast and the thin bones and the smooth skin. He must have been born to be a woman, it's just that no one knew it before. I remember, when we were kids, everyone at school made fun of his middle name, because it was girlish: Ashley. Few people know that actually, Ashley is originally a boy's name. Today it was his new name. What an ironic coincidence.
My friends and I just stared at each others for at least ten seconds. I had been hearing rumors about Butters, but I was certainly not expecting such a change. Yet, strangely, it was still him. You could see it. Same blond hair, just a bit longer. Same blue eyes, just enlightened by eye-shadow. Same hands, but with nail-polish. Same legs, but with no hair. She was still Butters. And she was walking toward us, proudly, feeling as comfortable in her skin as any other confident girl. She sat down at our table, beamed as if everything was as usual, and spoke – her voice was so clear and feminine and fucking perfect
''Hi Wendy. Red. Bebe. How have you been ?''
But we didn't answer. Red and Bebe were still astonished. It seemed that I was the only one capable to speak ''Hey Butters, you... you...'' I didn't want to go straight to the point, but I couldn't find anything else to say.
''You... d- do you want to order first ?'' I managed to stammer.
''Good idea, I'm really thirsty''.
She turned around and gestured the waiter. He came immediately, apparently seduced by the girl Butters was now, and she ordered. I felt relieved when she asked for a pineapple juice. It had always been his favorite. He used to say it was because of his Hawaiian origins.
I was willing to start with some small talk and ask her about her job, but Red went ahead of me :
''So, you've done it.''
I was afraid that Ashley would be hurt, but she just smirked and answered ''Yeah. It took me a while to make my decision, but I know it was the right thing to do.''
''When did you do it ?'' Bebe asked.
''Two years ago. But obviously the whole process took more time.''
''And is it... definitive ?''
Butters looked down there and nervously chuckled ''Yeah, everything was... transformed.''
We went silent. Butters was staring at her glace of juice, playing with the ice cubes. Then, suddenly, Bebe said : ''I like your shoes. At least you have decent tastes in fashion, unlike Red''
''Hey !'' Red protested.
I immediately relaxed and so did Butters. The conversation went on, and on, and on. We ordered more coffee, more water, snacks and then alcohol. We talked about our college years, our life now, our memories from primary and secondary school. Red gushed about her genius of a little brother and Bebe talked about her job as a vet for a really long time. We felt like we were still in high school. We had been knowing each others since forever. We were born here, in this small town, in the same hospital. And for Butters and I, on the same day.
Something came to my mind : ''Ashley, do you have a second birthday ?''
The girls broke off.
''What do you mean ?''
''Well, you were born on April 3rd, but it was Butters. Does Ashley have her own anniversary?'' (Anniversary seemed to be more appropriate in my mind)
''As a matter of fact, I do, it is on July 28th.''
''Wow, you must be the only grown up born in 2017.''
Butters was surprised by that comment, as if she had never thought about it before. She paused for a couple of seconds and said : ''I think so''.
At 11 p.m, Red and Bebe left – the second giving a ride to the first – but I didn't feel like going back at the family house already, so I offered Butters to walk her home.
''By the way are you staying at your parents'? '' I questioned.
''No, I'm crashing at Kenny's for a couple of days. My parents are quite... uncomfortable with me around''
''Oh''
We walked in silence for several minutes, Butters seemed to have turned in a quiet, rather sad mood. Kenny lived far away from downtown – as far as it could be in such a small town. He rented an apartment next to his workplace (he was the best mechanic of the garage).
''So... it was true.'' I eventually said.
''What was true ?''
She was wearing high heels, she was way taller than I was. Even for a boy, he had been pretty tall, and now, she looked like a model.
''In high school, the rumors about Kenny and you.''
''Why do you remember this suddenly?''
''Because he is hosting you.''
''He can afford it now, you know. He's good at his job, he is very successful, almost every person from the county asks him to take care of their cars.''
''I know. But, I mean, at that time, you were... together?''
She chuckled, a little sadly.
''We were not 'together'. He just... understood me. And he still understands me. He was my friend.''
''That's for sure, but I was your friend too.''
''You were, indeed.''
''So why didn't you tell me about your... problem, in high school? Or in college. And above all, why didn't you tell about your surgery?''
I stopped walking. Butters turned around, and she seemed even sadder. Her hands clenched at her purse and she looked up, her eyes staring straight at me :
''Because I needed time to become Ashley. Being a transgender person in not only a matter of surgery. It's not only a hormone therapy. It's not about the dress, the shoes and the makeup! It's about who you are. You don't know what it is to be told by your own parents that you're just a freak now! And that they never wanted to have a daughter, because if they did, they would have just made one, for God's sake!''
She dropped her purse, but her fists remained clenched. She continued: '' You just don't imagine how painful it can be to me, to be back in this small town, where I know everyone but no one recognizes me! It just keeps on reminding me that, from now on, I'm not Butters anymore! They think I'm Kenny's girlfriend and that I am from Santa Fe!''
''… Why Santa Fe?''
''I've no idea!''
She finally stopped yelling. I rubbed her shoulder for a couple of seconds, picked up her purse and took her by the hand. She needed to get back home. And by home, I didn't only mean Kenny's house. She needed to feel she was at home, here, in the entire town.
''Hey! I've got an idea'' I cried out. I gestured her to follow me. We turned right, walked down the main street and reached the city park.
''Oh! The old park!'' She realized.
''Yeah! The city restored it last year, come on, let's jump over the metal gate.''
We removed our shoes and climbed over the fence with no effort. We would always remain countryside kids. We walked bare feet on the grass, up to the brand new playground. I sat on the merry-go-round. Butters stood up, as amazed as she would have been if we were still six years old. She was feeling the grass with her toes, a huge grin on her face.
''This is such a lovely idea'' She whispered.
''How long are you staying in town?''
''I'm leaving tomorrow unfortunately. I could only get three days off''
She still didn't move, playing with her feet on the grass. I knew how she felt. We were both living in big cities now, so walking on the grass was either forbidden or dangerous as hell. As a kid, he really liked to walk barefoot on grass, on sand, and on the carpet of my bedroom. I still had this carpet, at my parents'. Maybe I should give it to her.
''Hey, Ashley?''
''What?''
''Before leaving, you should come by my parent's house and take the carpet of my bedroom.''
''The white one which was super soft?''
''Yeah.''
''… Well, thanks, I will''
''And, Ashley? I love you, you know. You're my girlfriend. You have always been.''
She smiled again, and answered.
''I know Wendy. Girls like you love me forever.''
End
I though about the narrator for quite a long time. I was not sure if I really wanted Wendy to be Butter's friend but with any male narrator, people may have seen a sort of romance between him and Butters and it was not the point at all, so a girl was better.
The title is actually a tribute to ScarlettShazam, I admire her and she really influenced my writing : she wrote a fanfiction called Boys like you love me forever, so I reused her title and adapted it to my fiction.
Hope you liked this story.
Until next time,
~BillySage.