Let love reign

by veronique2

For the first time of his life, Hephaistion feels he is losing Alexander’s love.

Title: Let Love Reign

Authors : veronique

Email address:kyomine2002yahoo.fr

Category:romance

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion slash some mention of Alexander/Bagoas and Alexander/Roxane.

Date:25/01/2005

Feedback: please, but if you don't like it, be constructive , I don't want to read sarcasm or snarks.

Archive: if you want I'm ok

Rating:nc 13

Disclaimer: I don't own them. They're characters belonging to Warner Brothers Pictures, to Oliver Stone, to my imagination, and to the ages. This is a work of a fan, done for no remuneration save the satisfaction of the work.

Special thanks to my beta dreamer46 .

Summary: For the first time of his life, Hephaistion feels he is losing Alexander's love.

Feedback: please, but if you don't like it, be constructive , I don't
want to
read sarcasm or snarks.

Archive: if you want I'm ok
Rating: nc-13
Disclaimer: I don't own them. They're characters belonging to Warner
Brothers
Pictures, to Oliver Stone, to my imagination, and to the ages. This
is a work of
a fan, done for no remuneration save the satisfaction of the work.
Beta: Special thanks to my beta Dreamer46.

Warnings: I based my characters on my interpretation of the movie.
It's a fanfiction based on the movie and the movie only.
Particular warning for this fic: This fic is, like I said, based on
the movie. I see Hephastion as a strong character who possessed both
good and
bad qualities.
My portrayal of him is not black and white, but gray. This is what I
took from Oliver Stones's suggestions and his little glimpses. The
story can
appear shocking to some people, I guess. Remember it's a fiction and a
fiction only. I can tell you later if you request it why I imaginated
this fic
from Oliver Stone's movie.

Thanks for reading the warnings.

Let love reign 1/1

Hephaistion lay on his bed. He sighed deeply and heavily. For the first time in his life, he felt he had lost Alexander's love. The man had fallen in love with someone else. It finally happened and even if he always knew that day might happen, and thought he was prepared for that, it still hurt him badly. His heart was broken.

Tears threatened as he stood up. He looked through the window, the night was beautiful.

He had left the wedding ceremony a little earlier than he should have. He did his best to show support to Alexander and to show him he was happy. But the truth was he felt completely lost, standing there alone, watching Alexander getting married to Roxanne. Some said it was for political reasons, to unite the tribes, others said it was because he wanted an heir.

Hephaistion thought it was just because, for the first time in his life, Alexander had really fallen in love with a woman. He could have married a barbarian princess long time ago if it was to unify the barbarians and the Greeks. An heir? Alexander had always had wanted an heir so that wasn't new. But this time, Alexander just found the woman of his dreams. That why he married her. The answer was simple and cruel to Hephaistion's heart.

Hephaistion had never truly been interested in women, He always felt more attraction to men and he thought Alexander was the same. Sure Alexander had slept with women, to reassure Olympias, and because of his curiosity, but women had never been where his interest lay.

Most men turned to women when they grew up. They continued to have male lovers, but younger than themselves, that was part of sexual initiation - nothing more. Two men like himself and Alexander, being grow up men, around the same age, and still having a love affair was something exceptional, something not really appreciated.

Finally, thought Hephaistion , finally Alexander turned to women, but worst not WOMEM, but The woman: Roxanne.

He decided to sit at his desk. Tears rolled down his cheeks. This time Cleitos, Cassander , Crateros and all the others who were eagerly waiting for Hephaistion's downfall from Alexander's heart, could be happy.

Hephaistion remembered how they were already expecting that downfall with Bagoas arrival's in Alexander's bed. But Hephaistion never once felt threatened by Bagoas.

Of course, Bagoas was beautiful and charming, younger too. Alexander said he was not only talented in bed but someone with a good mind and clever conversation. But Hephaistion knew that if Alexander cared about Bagoas, it wasn't the same way he loved Hephaistion. Bagoas was there to please Alexander, he had been trained in sexual pleasures and other entertainments, like dancing. Hephaistion knew Bagoas probably fell in love with Alexander. 'Who wouldn't fell in love with Alexander,' he thought?

Hephaistion had never been jealous nor felt threatened by Bagoas. He considered Bagoas Alexander's dearest pet. Bagoas took care of Alexander when he was on missions and each time he came back , Alexander only had eyes for Hephaistion because he had missed him terribly. He couldn't have been jealous of a pet.

Now the generals could hope, with Alexander's decision to marry ,even if they disliked that he married a barbarian, that at least it would be the end of Hephaistion's reign.

They didn't see Hephaistion as more than someone who shared Alexander's bed and because he did, had undeserved authority. They saw him as a good warrior but they felt sure they were superior. They ignored Hphaistion's skills in diplomacy, his skills at logistics, his good advice to Alexander. They ignored that it was he who kept the army fed, that the army was healthy and well armed because of him.

Hephaistion was not afraid of losing his authority, even with Roxanne here. If they thought that would be the case, they were mistaken. He won his authority because of his skills, not because he was in Alexander's bed. Alexander knew well Hephaistion's part in his success. No, what he was really afraid was to lose Alexander's heart.

He opened a drawer and saw the small box he brought from Egypt. The ring he bought for Alexander and had not yet given. He knew when he bought it, he should give it on a special occasion, at a very important moment in their lives.

Hephaistion opened the box and looked at the ring. He knew that time has come. He put the ring in a small linen. He didn't want to take the luxury box, he wanted the gift to stay humble and simple.

His heart began to beat faster as he felt the urge to give it now. Before Alexander had his night with Roxanne. Before he made love to her, he wanted Alexander to remember he was loved by Hephaistion and always would be, even if it was the end of their being together.

He exited his room and arrived in front of Alexander's room . He felt like his heart could break during the seconds while he knocked, and the door opened. The tears in his eyes threatened to escape and he did his best to hold them back, as he put the ring on Alexander's finger, wished him an heir and said a last time how much he loved him.

They were interrupted by Roxanne and Hephaistion felt inappropriate for the first time in his life, when he was with Alexander. He left. Alexander had accepted his ring with a smile, Hephaistion was happy with that, even if Alexander didn't say anything to him, nor even look at him when Roxanne appeared.

He only hoped Alexander understood his message of undying love.

Back in his room, Hephaistion felt relieved but also devastated. He let himself cry again for his loss, now that Alexander was with his beloved Queen.

He decided to write to Aristotle but he couldn't start the letter. He couldn't let his mind be confused or hurt - and for the first time he felt anger, and jealousy. Those two emotions frightened him. Aristotle said jealousy could bring awful things . He didn't want Alexander's downfall to be because of his jealousy and anger.

But the ugly feelings were there. He was human after all, broken hearted, jealous, and angry. He decided he should ask, as soon as possible, for a long mission, somewhere far away from his beloved. He wanted time to get over his pain, if he could. He wanted to rest his emotions, and have the time to regain his reason.

Now his emotions were controlling him. He couldn't find sleep. Two and a half hours had passed since he gave his ring and the hurt was still there, even more than before.

He opened the window, felt the warm wind, which he could perceive only as cold. His eyes were red and puffy. He was emotionally tired.

He heard a knock at his locked door. He always locked his door, too many enemies, especially now, since people thought it was the end of his glorious days.

He wondered who it was. He took a blade with him.

"Who is it?" he asked carefully.

"It's me," he heard - Alexander's voice. He was surprised. He opened the door, still suspicious, but it was really Alexander. Alexander entered in his room.

"She is asleep now," he said talking about Roxanne.

Hephaistion put his blade discreetly on a small table, unable to figure out why Alexander was here.

Hephaistion noticed that Alexander was wearing his ring still, and felt reassured.

Alexander looked at him with such love, but he was still so confused by his presence and didn't want to have hopes of any kind. It was already hard enough.

Alexander came closer to him and touched his cheeks lovingly.

"You cried," he said.

"I'm fine Alexander" said Hephaistion with those damn tears threatening again. "I'm fine" he repeated with a smile.

They looked at each other.

"I didn't have time to tell you what I wanted, with Roxanne interrupting us" Hephaistion started. "I shouldn't have come. I didn't respect your intimacy, I didn't respect her" Hephaistion said honestly, "but it was something I needed to do."

"Roxanne is quite different from the other women," Alexander said calmly. "She will be perfect for my heir, I care about her but.."

Hephaistion looked at Alexander, his heart was beating so strongly, he thought he was ready to explode.

"She is not enough, I thought she could be. She impressed me Hephaistion, she reminded me of my mother. I wanted a strong woman like her as a wife. That why I didn't marry before. I wanted someone different than a perfect Macedonian or Persian woman, who did what a man wants without thinking. Roxanne isn't like those women."

Hephaistion remained silent.

"I was so happy to find a woman like that, I forgot your feelings. I forgot you might misunderstand my feelings for her, thinking my heart would no longer belong to you. Maybe I thought that way because you've never shown any jealousy toward her, or even Bagoas before. Sometimes, Hephaistion, I do wonder about your love."

Hephaistion was about to talk when Alexander continued. "Sometimes Hephaistion, you don't say anything; I can be with Bagoas, or decide to marry Roxanne and you just stand there silent, approving my actions and supporting them. I have wondered why those things didn't hurt you, when I know, that if you did them, I would suffer horribly."

This time Hephaistion could speak.

"Your happiness is mine" he said, suddenly aware he might have seemed colder to his beloved king than he knew. Hephaistion lived in a cold world, his only love and friend was Alexander; but he learned to fight his emotions for the outside world. He realised now, a part of himself shut down even to Alexander. The habits he showed to protect himself and his king from everybody. He was in pain.

"I always loved you, I never stopped, I'm so sorry if I started to show you the contrary because it's not true; you are the only love in my life. I never considered Bagoas a threat, I never doubt your love even when you are with him, ... but with her..."

Alexander kissed Hephaistion tenderly to stop Hephaistion from his talking.

"I have to apologise, too, Hephaistion, that I doubted your love sometimes, and I shouldn't have. I caused you a deep pain today and I didn't know, but I should have known."

Hephaistion felt secure again and his smile was more genuine and happy. Alexander was smiling back at him with tears in his eyes.

"You have no idea how much what you did tonight affected me, Hephaistion. I didn't have time to tell you, but when you came to my room, giving me your ring, it touched me in a way.... I can't even put it in words because there are no words powerful enough to describe it."

"I wanted you to know, to remember, that no matter what happens, I will always love you."

"Hephaistion, this was the most beautiful gift I have ever received. The symbol of your love will always be with me, to remind me to never doubt your love again."

Hephaistion smiled and kissed Alexander on the neck.

"I will never doubt your love again, either" he said, in a soft voice.

Alexander spoke again. "A few hours ago, I officially married Roxanne in front of the people, but today is also the day where the Gods witness that I vow to love you eternally. You are my true love Hephaistion."

Alexander held Hephaistion tightly, "Your ring is the symbol of our love and my promise to you."

Hephaistion smiled at his lover proudly. All his fears were now far away. He felt only love, trust and hope. He wanted to thank the Gods who allowed him to be loved that way by Alexander.

In the morning , Hephaistion woke up in Alexander's arms . Roxanne woke up in a bed deserted by his husband.

Few hours later, Roxanne, Alexander's queen, sat near Alexander for the party gave in honour of their wedding.

She noticed Hephaistion in the background. He was talking with Ptolemy. She also noticed Alexander's finger, wearing Hephaistion's ring.

She knew she lost. She never in fact stood a chance, she understood now. Before the incident with the ring, she never noticed Hephaistion. Now he was everywhere, even when he wasn't near.

end