_-_Twice-Damned and Still Walking_-_
_A conversation_
A/N: (What's to say…?) Mello and Matt's conversation sometime before The Suicide Mission. Everything belongs to the Death Note creators except this fic itself. They wouldn't do something this trivial. I, on the other hand, had too much free time.
P.S.: Mild swearing, but the F- word is changed to "firetruck," as in the word that begins with F, ends with UCK. Yes; silly, isn't it?
A/N2: Check out my other fic, Gone. You can say that's the sequel to this one, in a completely different format, about what happens next.
"Mello? Hey, Mello, what's wrong?"
"Don't you dare ask me that."
"Why the hell not? I want to know—"
"Everything, damn you, Matt. Everything is wrong."
"So, we have to die?"
"No, Matt, I have to die."
"What about me?"
"What about you?"
"Don't I get to die too?"
"…No."
"Why?"
"Hell, Matt, do you want to die?"
"No. But I want to help."
"I'm sure you'd screw up again. A delicate operation like this is not something I can trust you with."
"That's harsh, man."
"You know it's true. Don't you firetrucking lie to yourself too."
"But…"
"Look, Matt, I'm sure I've told you this before, but this isn't something I want you to be involved in—"
"To hell with that! I was involved in this ever since you came to me for my help. Shouldn't that count for something?"
"I don't want your life on my hands too, Matt."
"It's not. If I die, then I die. I won't blame you for anything."
"You and your firetrucking death wishes. You know you can't go back on this, right?"
"Of course I know. I'm not dumb…. Well?"
"…If you get any chance at all to escape with your life…"
"Go and save my ass, I get it. But you have to promise me that, too."
"Matt, you know I can't promise that. Someone has to die."
"Why did you take it that it has to be you?"
"Who else is there?"
"I don't know, one of Near's cronies? He has bunches of henchmen at his disposal."
"It doesn't work that way. You know the plan, it has to be someone else, someone Kira knows is not on Near's side. There's only me… Oh, hell, us. Happy?"
"Can't say I'm happy to die. But just don't leave me out of this, okay? I can't stand you dying alone. No that's not right, I can't stand you dying—"
"Matt, I get it."
"…So?"
"Sure. You can go firetrucking die if you want to. Just don't expect any glory."
"Oh, I know. But Near… Near would know, in the end. One day, he will stand over our graves—"
"And laugh."
"— and avenge us. Think of it this way. Dying will be the suckiest part, but think of what that will accomplish. We will be freaking heroes."
"Only to those who know."
"True, but you can't deny our martyrdom. You can't see Near dying for this, can you?"
"…Probably not."
"Exactly, Mello. One thing you can always hold over his head: you didn't hesitate to give your life for this case to be closed. The one thing you and L have in common that he can never have."
"Dying?"
"Dying for the Kira case, man. One step closer for everyone else."
"He better get it, or I swear on your life…"
"Hey."
"Don't give me that, Matt."
"Ha-ha-ha…. Hey, where're you going?"
"The plan is settled. I need to talk things out with Hal."
"I'll wait here."
"Whatever…. Oh, and Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"Damn you, Matt. Damn you."
"I'm sorry, man. But it worked, you would be happy for that. Near got it. They all did. You're the hero now. I kept my promise. I know you would have too, if you'd promised me you would. But you saw this coming, didn't you? You lied to me again. You said that we both would die, but you didn't intend that, did you? That was for the bullet-proof vest, for asking Hal to look out for me…Well, thanks. I guess. You did your part. And me…I'm the one you damned twice and I'm still walking. This was what you wanted.
You can rest in peace now, Mello."