Dream Beings by melremade
Summary: She meant so much to him and in the dream, he could choose differently. In the dream, he could choose correctly
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Inception or any of its characters.
"All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together." – Jack Kerouac
His eyes widened as he realized where he was. This hotel room had long been locked away, along with its occupant. But as he looked further into the room, he felt his heart speed up as he looked through the glass doors leading out to the balcony.
'She shouldn't be here. This isn't right. Something's wrong,' the voice in his head whispered but as he continued to gaze upon the woman standing on the balcony with her back towards him as she leaned against the balcony's edge, he quickly shut the voice up.
The sun was beginning to set, casting shadows in the room and leaving behind a warm red tint in its wake. The sounds of the street below softly drifted up to their floor, but being so high, they easily faded to the background.
But none of that mattered as he stared wide-eyed at her. Her chocolate brown hair fell in soft waves just past her shoulders and it took every ounce of self-control to keep from running to her and burying his fingers in her silky hair and crashing his lips to hers.
He slowly made his way to her, having to remind himself to breathe. Once he was standing in the doorway, he didn't know what to do next. However it seemed that his body was beginning to move of its own accord and all of a sudden he was standing next to her.
"Amelia," he breathed out gently as he brought up a hand and ran it through her hair.
She turned to face him, a sad smile on her lips and he took a long moment to take in her features. Everything from the very small sprinkling of freckles right across the bridge of her nose to her bright green eyes, which were surrounded by her usual heavy eyeliner and mascara. As much as he told her he loved her eyes without all of the make-up, he couldn't deny that they still looked just as beautiful now.
"You made it," she replied and he nodded as he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her closer. She was quick to return his affection as she moved her head up from where it was currently resting on his shoulder to his jaw, her nose gently skimming along his neck as she did. He shivered at the feeling and she planted a long-awaited kiss on his jaw, having to stand slightly higher on her toes in order to reach.
"My flight just got in. The line at customs was longer than usual," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. The moment the words left his mouth, he was suddenly snapped out of the moment like a cold bucket of water had been dumped on him. He carefully pried himself from her grasp and she gave him a confused look at his actions.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her head tilted slightly to the side.
"What are you doing here, Amelia?" he asked, his tone desperate as he gently brushed her hair behind her ear. But for some reason, the question went ignored as the memory continued to unfold.
"I know the solution," she said, her eyes shining with unshed tears and he had relived this memory enough times to know that it wouldn't be long until a mascara stained tear fell down her smooth cheek.
"Solution to what?" he responded, surprised at the question. It was as if he couldn't help himself. The same words he had spoken over two years ago were spilling past his lips without a second thought.
"Ignorance doesn't look good on you, Arthur," she gently teased with a faint smile and as she brought her hand up to his cheek, he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "You know what."
"Amelia-" he started and just like every time before, she cut him off.
"There's no quick fix to this. There's no trick. There's only one solution – I have to walk away. I have to give it up," she whispered quietly and if Arthur didn't already know what she was going to say, he would have had trouble hearing her.
"No, you don't," he argued, reciting his lines perfectly and she gently shook her head.
"Oh, Arthur," she murmured sadly. "It's the only way. I can't live like this anymore and you know it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. You've seen it, you just don't want to admit it."
"No, but this is what the totem's for, for this exact purpose. As long as you have it, you can keep dreaming," he attempted to convince her and she slipped her hand from his cheek into her pocket and brought out her small pocket watch. She stared at its silver cover, but refrained from opening it to see whether or not this was a dream.
"The totem's not enough anymore, Arthur," she whispered softly as she put her watch away and looked back up at him.
"Don't say that," he pleaded with her and he forced himself to take a calming breath to prevent the same tears that always formed. He couldn't allow himself to become that absorbed in the memory.
"There are only two ways this ends and you know it. I either end up killing myself in reality-"
"Don't say that!" he repeated harshly as an image flashed through his mind of her bleeding on the floor with a gun in her hand.
"Or I walk away," she finished calmly, ignoring his outburst. "There's no option that involves me both alive and still dream sharing."
"I know," he softly admitted because before this had happened and he had seen the signs, he knew that dream sharing would only lead to tragedy for her.
"But I love you, Arthur," she said, staring deep into his warm eyes and she took a deep breath. "Will you walk away with me?"
His heart skipped a beat at the request. This was the moment he had replayed in his mind over and over. He knew how to fix this.
"I can't," he whispered and his eyes widened at his response. Whenever he dreamt this, he always told her he would gladly walk away from this life if it meant she would always be by his side. But something was wrong. He shouldn't have given her the same answer he had in reality.
"You can't?" she repeated and he could see the heartbreak written across her face. She began to move away from his embrace but before she could get too far, he had placed a hand on her hip and pulled her right back in.
"Amelia, listen to me. This isn't real. This is a dream, a memory," he forced the words out, unsurprised by the pain caused by admitting it aloud. "I can't walk away with you because this isn't real."
And finally, finally, he could feel the atmosphere shift so he was no longer just reliving the memory. He was finally able to affect the dream.
She smiled sadly at him as she gently brought her hand up and needlessly smoothed his hair back. Clean-cut Arthur, with his tailored suits without one wrinkle and never a hair out of place.
"Says who?" she asked and he rested his forehead against hers.
He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out the familiar red die. It rested innocently in his hand, but before he could roll it, Amelia had moved her hand over his and closed it back into a fist around the die.
"It's a dream, Amelia," he whispered and she gently brought her lips to his in a soft kiss.
"Does this feel like a dream?" she asked against his lips and as he felt her warm breath mixing with his and her body pressed against him, he found it difficult to argue.
"No, it feels real," he whispered back before crashing his lips onto hers. He moved his free hand from her waist into her soft hair and instinctively, he parted his lips and melted into her just as he had done so many times before.
Without thinking he opened his hand that was clutching his totem to place it on her hip and in doing so, the die fell to the floor. The noise it made as it did so was enough to break the spell and Arthur sharply pulled away. But before he could look at the die innocently sitting against the expensive tiles of the hotel balcony, Amelia had brought her hand up to his cheek to keep him from seeing it.
"Don't look," she whispered. "You already know. So please, just stay with me for now. Don't make the same mistake again. Don't leave me."
He found his voice failing him and he slowly began to nod.
"Stay with me," she pleaded quietly, her eyes still shining with unshed tears. "Please, stay with me this time. Don't go."
"I won't go," he told her, his voice hoarse as he wrapped his arms around her. "I promise. I'll stay with you forever. I'll never, ever leave you."
As he held her to him tightly, he suddenly realized the noise from the streets below had altogether stopped. His heart skipped a beat as he looked over the balcony's edge to see the streets were now empty.
And as he looked up to the sky he saw that it was beginning to grow dark, not because the sun was setting, but because it was literally disappearing altogether.
"Amelia, the dream, I'm waking up," he whispered into her hair fearfully and her grip grew tighter on him.
"But you said you'd never leave me," she protested as she looked up at him, her green eyes sparkling from her tears, which were now making their way down her porcelain cheeks.
"I won't, I promise," he softly replied, his vision beginning to become blurry as tears formed in his own eyes.
The buildings around them were beginning to crumble and the only source of light left was coming from their hotel room. He didn't know how much longer they had, but it wasn't long.
He brought his hands up to cup her face before resting his forehead against hers. She shut her eyes tightly and Arthur brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb, only for them to quickly be replaced.
"How could you leave me, Arthur?" she sobbed as she gripped onto the lapels of his jacket and he softly shook his head.
"Because I was stupid. I was so stupid," he answered, his voice cracking as a tear finally fell down his cheek. "But I'm not going to leave you again. I'll never leave you again."
"But the dream-"
"It's not a dream," he rushed out, shocked at the words that left his mouth. This was unbelievably dangerous territory. Even saying the words aloud could do so much damage.
Projections were unpredictable and given the opportunity, there was no telling what sort of ideas they might latch onto. And this was certainly a dangerous idea.
But somehow, even his projection of Amelia wouldn't disappoint him as she gave him a long look before pressing her lips gently to his and he could taste her tears. And he knew what her kiss meant. It was a promise, a promise that she wouldn't let him lose his grip on reality like she had lost hers.
"But it is, Arthur," she whispered, another tear slowly falling down her cheek. "This is a dream and you're waking up."
"No, I'm not," he weakly argued as he stared into her eyes. She then shifted her eyes so they were now looking towards the side and as he followed her gaze, he realized she was looking at his totem.
"See? You're dreaming," she said as he stared at the side that was facing up and he felt his heart crack. There was one more dot than there should have been if this was reality.
"I'm sorry, Amelia," he told her. "I'm so sorry."
"Please don't wake up, Arthur," she begged. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me all alone again."
"I won't, I promise," he replied, knowing it was futile.
The hotel room was now gone. It was just them standing on the balcony, surrounded by an infinite abyss of darkness. The dream was slipping through his fingers and he couldn't hold onto it for much longer.
"Didn't you love me, Arthur?" she asked and his heart broke at the question.
"Of course I did. I still do and I miss you more than you'll ever know," he whispered and she shook her head. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret this moment."
"If you love me, then stay," she said through her tears and he nodded fervently as he cupped her face in his hands.
"I'll stay! I promise!" he assured her, needing to yell as the balcony around them began to collapse loudly.
"Don't go," she pleaded, her voice being drowned out.
"I won't, Amelia!" he promised, the determination clear in his voice. "I won't leave you! I won't go!"
"Please don't go, Arthur. Don't leave me."
"I promise-"
xxxxx
"I won't leave you!" he shouted aloud to the warehouse, causing the other occupants to jump in their seats before quickly turning to look at Arthur with worried and shocked expressions. Without a second thought, he shoved his hand in his pocket, PASIV needle still attached, and pulled out the small red die.
His hands shook as he attempted to roll it, but the shaking was so severe it ultimately just ended up falling on the floor. However the result was the same regardless of whether it was rolled or dropped and as he saw the two white dots staring back up at him, he found that he was unable to tell whether he was relieved or upset at the result.
"Arthur, what happened?" Yusuf asked from where he sat at the table next to where Arthur sat in an old piece of lawn furniture.
"You need to adjust your formula," he spat at Yusuf, angrily lashing out at the confused chemist as he pulled the needle out of his hand rougher than he meant to, causing a small bead of blood to form where the needle had once been.
"What went wrong?" Yusuf asked as he quickly sorted through the papers filled with complex equations on the table in front of him. "What happened?"
There was a tense silence as everyone awaited Arthur's response. Without looking up, he already knew their reactions. Yusuf who was still trying to understand what went wrong continued shuffling through his papers. Ariadne was an open book and her worry was written across her face. Eames for once remained silent and for that Arthur was grateful. This was one subject the forger had always had the sense to steer clear of.
And Cobb. Cobb, the only man in the room who understood. The only member of the team who wouldn't judge him for having such a strong reaction.
"Arthur, I need to know what was wrong with the dream," Yusuf repeated, and Arthur met his expectant gaze.
"The first level was too deep," he finally answered after a brief hesitation. "If we use that compound on Fischer, every repressed memory and painful experience will crowd out any maze we build. He'll be too deep in every traumatic event he's ever gone through for us to even think about getting close to him. We'd be lucky to get to the second level. You might as well forget about the third."
Yusuf looked satisfied with Arthur's explanation as he began to go over the formulas before him, working on fixing the problem. Arthur picked his totem off the ground, gripping it tightly in his hand as he stood up and made his way past everyone else, careful to avoid eye contact.
Once he had rounded the corner and found himself alone at an empty workspace, he slammed his fist against the old table before leaning against it. He quickly loosened his tie, finding it hard to breathe. He looked down at his closed fist and after a moment, he rolled the die in his hand and let it fall against the metal surface.
"Goddammit," he softly breathed to himself as it came up once more with a two.
"You okay?" a voice asked from behind him and Arthur jumped in surprise before picking up his totem and turning around to see Cobb leaning against the wall with a cautious look on his face.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied with a shrug and Cobb raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "I am."
"You're not," Cobb disagreed and Arthur briefly dropped his gaze. "But will you be able to go through with the job?"
Arthur gave a stiff nod as he turned back around and once more rolled his die.
"As long as Yusuf fixes the compound, I'll be more than all right," he assured Cobb. "Just let me know whenever he's ready and we'll try it again."
"You know, Eames or I would be more than capable of testing the next compound," Cobb said after a moment of tense silence.
"Yeah, but I'm the only one who can compare it to this one," Arthur pointed out and he sighed heavily as he focused his attention on the same side of the die that kept appearing whenever it was rolled. "As long as Amelia's not in the next dream then we'll know it worked perfectly."
Despite the silence, Arthur could still feel Cobb's presence.
"She's living in London now," Cobb eventually said, breaking the silence and Arthur tensed up.
"Yeah," he responded, needing to clear his throat. "I know."
"She's working as an architect for Foster and Partners," he continued and Arthur dropped his head as he nodded.
"Yeah, she got the job about a year and a half ago," he said and Cobb didn't need to ask how he knew. He had always been exceptional at gathering information and it didn't surprise him to learn that he had been keeping tabs on Amelia. "Have you, I mean, do you, you know, still talk to her?"
"Sometimes. She was working out of their Russian office a couple of months ago and I visited her," Cobb answered and he felt his heart stop.
"You saw her?" he asked quietly as he looked at Cobb over his shoulder and Cobb nodded. "How is she? Is she still…?"
"She's better," he replied and he could see Arthur visibly relax at the news. "She's much better."
"Good," he mumbled to himself as he picked up his die for the umpteenth time and rolled it yet again. When he saw the same two dots, he couldn't help himself from trying one more time and he heard Cobb sigh from behind him.
"I'll have Yusuf let you know when the new compound's ready," Cobb said and Arthur distractedly nodded before he heard the other man walk away. As he got ready to let go of his totem, he softly whispered a plea.
"Please let this be a dream," he begged. "Please let me have her back."
But just as he let go of the die, he was startled when he heard another voice.
"Are you okay?" a soft voice asked.
He spun around to see Ariadne standing right where Cobb had been only moments before, the same concerned look still on her face. He glanced back over his shoulder at the small die on table and nodded as he saw that it was still coming up with a two.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her stiffly and he could see that she was unconvinced.
"What did you dream about?" she questioned and instantly regretted it as she saw the look that flashed over his face. "You don't have to tell me. Sorry."
She quickly turned on her heel and made to walk away.
"It wasn't a dream," he told her and she turned back to look at him. He was leaning back against the table with his arms crossed across his chest. "It was a memory."
"A bad one?" she asked carefully and he snorted with a shake of his head.
"It's a memory that I've been pretty good at locking away," he answered vaguely. "But Yusuf's compound was too strong and it busted open every lock I had on it."
Ariadne nodded but he could still see the curiosity on her face and he knew she was dying to ask more.
"Who won't you leave?" she finally asked, no longer able to keep the curiosity at bay and Arthur was once again reminded of the reason she had come back in the first place – because she was eager to learn more.
"Her name's Amelia," he replied with a heavy sigh. "And I already left her."
"What happened?" she continued to push and Arthur knew she wouldn't stop until she got her answers. And at this point, he didn't have the energy to fight her on it.
"She was an architect, just like you, just like Cobb," he finally said as he turned back around to look down at his die. "She was one of the best."
His tone was weary and he ran a tired hand over his eyes, only to quickly open them when the image of the hotel room passed before them. He was forced to again roll his die, the sound it made as it hit the table's surface filling up the silent space.
"But she's not anymore," Ariadne quickly deduced and Arthur was thankful for her quick mind, it saved him the pain of having to spell out every detail.
"No," he choked out. "At least not in the dream world."
"Why not?" she gently asked and Arthur took a deep breath.
"She could no longer tell the difference between the dreams and reality," he told her, his voice rough. "The line became too blurry."
As he dropped his head, he couldn't help the memories that burst forward. The many nights of waking up to find her no longer sleeping next to him but instead sitting at either a table or on the couch of whatever hotel room they happened to be staying in. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face as he remembered how much she had loved hotel rooms. They had never put down roots and they had both been more than happy to keep moving from city to city, country to country.
But any trace of a smile quickly disappeared as he remembered what it was like to find her sitting up at night with a gun in front of her and a small pocket watch in her hand – her totem. She would repeatedly open it and close it, her wide eyes staring at the face of the watch as she tried to figure out whether she was asleep or awake.
"Like Mal?" Ariadne asked and Arthur sharply inhaled.
"Not at all like Mal," he told her, his voice colder than he intended. He didn't like obvious parallels between Mal and Amelia, because in another life, Amelia could easily have ended up like Mal. And at Mal's funeral, as he stood behind Cobb and watched her coffin be lowered into the ground, as shameful as it was, the only thought running through his mind had been how grateful he was that it wasn't Amelia in that box.
"Amelia knew what she had to do to fix herself. So she did what very few have been able to do and she walked away."
"And she asked you to walk away with her," Ariadne concluded, putting together the remaining pieces of the puzzle. Arthur looked at her over his shoulder.
"She asked and I said no," he confirmed as he shook his head. "I didn't want to give all of this up, I didn't want to give up the rush."
Ariadne kept silent as she took in what he was telling her. She had already seen how this lifestyle had affected Cobb, but it scared her to see how it affected Arthur, who always seemed so put together. As exciting as all of this was, there was still the tiniest voice in her head telling her to run away before she got in too deep.
"Biggest mistake I've ever made," Arthur mumbled to himself.
"Do you dream about her often?" she asked and Arthur finally turned around to face her, his totem tightly held in his hand.
"Only sometimes," he answered honestly as he smoothed back his hair, just as Amelia had done in the dream. "I try not to let her in too much, but sometimes the temptation's too great and I go looking for her. Sometimes, I just need to be with her again. Sometimes I need to fix what went wrong."
Ariadne could see the far-away look in his eyes and she knew he was remembering the time he spent with her in his dreams, living the same memories over and over.
"Were you dreaming about the night you left her?" she asked cautiously, breaking him from his reverie and Arthur's gaze fell to the floor.
"Yeah," he sighed, opening his fist and looking at the small red cube innocently sitting in his palm. "When I dream about her, it's always about the night I left her."
Ariadne was surprised at his answer, but let it go for the moment as another thought came to mind.
"Mal…" she trailed off, unsure of how to phrase her question.
"Mal shows up in all of Cobb's dreams so why doesn't Amelia show up in all of mine?" he finished for her with a sigh and she nodded. With one last look at his die, he put it back in his pocket before meeting her gaze.
"Because I don't think Cobb wants to let her go," he said and Ariadne raised a disbelieving eyebrow.
"And you do?" she asked and Arthur felt the corner of his lip slightly twitch upwards at how she stated what was clearly on her mind without a moment's hesitation.
"Let me rephrase it. I don't think Cobb is able to let her go," he corrected. "Amelia's gone. She's off living a better life, a safer life and that is something I am more than willing to live with."
"Can I ask you something?" she questioned and Arthur couldn't help but find it funny that she was just now asking for permission.
"Might as well," he sighed and she briefly paused.
"You don't go into your dreams to relive your best memories with her," she started and he nodded. "Why?"
"I won't live in the past," he firmly told her and she softly shook her head.
"But you are. You're forcing yourself to relive that one night over and over. Why would you keep putting yourself through that?" she asked.
A bittersweet smile formed on his face at her question. Her innocence shined brightly and Arthur was instantly reminded how naïve she was to this world. It was something that was easy to forget with how quickly she had mastered building entirely new landscapes from nothing. She had yet to be truly affected by this lifestyle.
"Because usually, when I go in to dream about her and our last night together, it's not to relive leaving her," he answered. "The dream only unfolded that way because the compound was too strong. She shouldn't even have shown up."
"If you don't dream about leaving her, then what do you dream about?" she asked with her brow slightly furrowed and Arthur sighed before turning back around and pulling his totem out his pocket again.
"In the dream, I make a different choice, I make the right choice," he answered as he once again rolled his die, praying to whomever might be listening that it would stop coming up with a two.
A/N: I hope you liked it. I decided to keep it as a one-shot because I really liked how it ended. I might turn it into a story at some point way down the line but for now I like it how it is and I hope you do too!