Unexpected
Ianto tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as he rolled his head slowly from side to side. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in the Archives, but it must have been awhile for his neck to be aching the way it was. Things had been busy lately, which meant Ianto was constantly going back and forth between the main floor of the Hub and the Archives to retrieve and put items away again.
"Owen's getting cranky so I thought I'd come down here and hide with you."
The voice is accompanied by strong fingers squeezing the tense muscles where his neck and shoulders met.
"I wasn't aware that I was hiding, Sir," Ianto murmured, doing his best to keep the contented groan from his voice. Jack certainly knew what he was doing, something Ianto had learned first hand after the events at the Beacons. By the time Jack had finished with him that night, he'd been a puddle of goo.
That was how it had begun.
From a simple back rub on the sofa near Tosh's workstation, his and Jack's relationship had somehow developed to the point where Ianto spent quite a few nights at the Hub in the rooms Jack had set aside for himself under his office. Ianto still wasn't entirely sure how it happened. How he went from wanting to watch Jack die a slow and painful death to curling up against him in the middle of the night. It was just something that was and Ianto was content to leave it at that.
"It never takes you two hours to put away five files," Jack pointed out, his teeth closing lightly over the tip of his ear. "Now, come along, we have a date with some Weevils."
Ianto snorted, turning around to face Jack. "Is that what we're calling it now?"
"You spend too much time here. You need to get out so I'm making that my priority for the night."
Ianto opened his mouth to protest, but was immediately cut off by a firm shake of Jack's head.
"You can't hide down here all the time," Jack said, bringing both hands up to rest on either side of Ianto's neck. Both of his thumbs were under Ianto's jaw, ensuring that he didn't look away. "So we're gonna go check out those reports of possible Weevil sightings and then we're going to get something to eat."
"Jack—"
Once again, Jack shook his head.
And though a rather large part of him wanted to continue protesting, it had been a long time since someone had looked after him. Nearly as long since he'd last gone out to eat with someone else.
So, in the end, Ianto nodded his head.
Jack's brilliant smile alone was worth it.
Ianto was given fifteen minutes to finish what he was doing before Jack came back down and flung him over his shoulder and carry him out of the Hub. Jack only laughed when Ianto glared at him. With a wink, Jack disappeared from the Archives, pausing near the exit of that particular section to tell Ianto to wear something comfortable.
Glowering after his sometimes-lover, Ianto finished what he was doing then headed towards the shower room. He kept a pair of street clothes in his locker there specifically for Weevil hunting as he didn't much fancy ruining his suits wandering about in the sewers. Though, given his minimal field experience, it hadn't actually been necessary. Ianto new which Weevil sightings Jack had been referring to and had a feeling that he'd end up in something dirty before the night was over.
Thirteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, Ianto walked into the main bay of the Hub dressed in dark jeans, a black long sleeve t-shirt, leather jacket, and a pair of combat boots. The boots were old and battered, and wonderfully comfortable when it came to wandering the streets of Cardiff late at night.
"Please tell me why I've never seen you dress like this before?" Jack asked, glancing up from whatever readout he'd been looking at on Tosh's computer. "Not that I don't love the suits, of course."
Ianto merely arched an eyebrow in Jack's direction. "You've never asked me out to dinner before."
"Oi!" Owen shouted from somewhere near the autopsy bay. "How come the teaboy gets a dinner break and we don't?"
"Because Ianto's been cleaning up after you all week and needs to get out and see the sky again," Jack called over his shoulder. Straightening up, he grabbed his greatcoat from where it was draped over a nearby chair and slipped it on. "All of you, finish up whatever it is you're doing and go home. Have a life."
Together they made their way to the garage and got into the SUV. Since they weren't rushing off to some kind of emergency, Ianto didn't fear for his life with Jack behind the wheel. There had been more than a few times in the past that Ianto was utterly convinced that the American's driving alone would get them killed. Luckily for Ianto, most of those times he was back in the Hub coordinating things and didn't have to worry about his imminent death.
"So, any ideas on where you want to eat once we deal with this Weevil problem?" Jack asked as he made a quick right turn.
"This little excursion was your idea. I assumed that you had something in mind," Ianto countered, his lips curving up into a slight smirk.
Jack did his best to look hurt, but even in the dim lighting in the SUV, Ianto could see his eyes twinkling. "You wound me, Ianto Jones. Lucky for you, I happen to know just the place for a nice, quiet meal."
He didn't say it—would never say it—but Ianto was enjoying his time alone with Jack. He always had, even if it was just the two of them alone in the Hub. Jack may flirt with any species, but Ianto merely found it amusing; a part of their Captain's charm. When it was just the two of them, though, there's something in his eyes that Ianto can't quite figure out. It was a look that Jack seemed to reserve just for him. Not even Gwen, who Ianto once thought Jack was in love with, could bring that amused, affectionate glow to Jack's eyes. Most of the time, Ianto couldn't believe that he was the reason for it and was pretty sure that it was his coffee Jack was so infatuated with.
"This is starting to sound suspiciously like a date, Captain," Ianto murmured, surprised at how thick his voice sounds.
Jack grinned that wide, toothy grin that alternately made Ianto want to smack him and kiss him. "Would that be a bad thing?"
"I don't know. Is this going to be a one time thing or will there be more dinner and a Weevil outings?"
Any answer Jack was going to give was cut off when a Weevil darted in front of the SUV. Jack slammed on the breaks and a moment later they were out of the SUV, guns and Weevil spray in hand.
"Be careful," Jack warned when they met up at the front of the SUV. "I'd rather not have to deal with Owen bitching because he has to come in and patch one of us up."
"Certainly don't want that," Ianto deadpanned as he followed Jack into the alley. "His beside manner's terrible enough without getting him annoyed beforehand."
There was a rustling noise from the back of the alley. Each of them took a wall, stepping carefully over various debris and detritus. Ianto winced internally when he heard something squelch under one of his boots. He preferred his nice, clean office, but Jack had been insisting lately that he became field trained. And while Ianto enjoyed the fact that he was no longer merely the teaboy, he wasn't particularly fond of wandering through alleys in less than reputable areas of the city.
When they reached the end of the alley, it split into two directions. A few quick hand signals from Jack and Ianto was heading north while Jack went south.
"Any trouble, let me know on the comm.," Jack instructed quietly.
Ianto moved slowly, keeping all of his movements efficient as he'd been trained. He couldn't hear any obvious sounds of a Weevil, but that didn't mean there wasn't one about. From all of the times he'd coordinated from the Hub, he knew that Weevils were good at hiding themselves, not coming out until they wanted to be seen.
"Anything on you end, Ianto?" Jack's voice echoed quietly in his ear.
"Nothing so far."
He took a few more steps before he heard a startled shout, both through the comm. and in real time. Ianto automatically spun around to where he knew Jack had gone and before he could even think about it, he was sprinting down the alleyway, gun at the ready. The gunshot made him run even quicker.
"Jack!" Ianto shouted, hoping to hear some response from the other man. "Jack, answer me!"
Spotting the hunched figure of a Weevil, Ianto shot it without even pausing to fully consider what he was doing. All he knew was that it was a Weevil and that it had more than likely severely injured his lover. Ianto jumped over Jack's crumpled body and knelt down, jabbing a needle of all-species sedative Owen had cooked up into the thing's chest. Only when he was sure that the Weevil was down for the count did he turn his attention to Jack. It wouldn't do to have the Weevil come back to life while he was in the midst of treating Jack.
"Jack?"
There was so much blood. It was like the night he'd first met Jack all over again, only much worse. This time Jack wouldn't be walking away. There was simply too much blood and, when Ianto pressed his fingers to the pulse point on the undamaged side of Jack's throat, there was no pulse. No sign of a heartbeat. Shaking his head in disbelief, Ianto checked both of Jack's wrists, hoping that he'd just been mistaken. There wasn't even a puff of breath when he held trembling fingers over Jack's nose and mouth.
Jack was dead.
At that moment, Ianto's mind more or less stopped functioning. He wanted to scream, to rage, to sob, to rant... anything but admit that what was happening was real. Jack couldn't be dead. It was impossible. In the end, he probably did a bit of all. The sounds that were coming out of his mouth were a garbled mess of emotion that Ianto had no intention of deciphering.
Ianto gathered Jack up into his arms, holding his lover's body tight against his own. He knew that he should get in touch with Owen, call Tosh and Gwen, but he simply couldn't make himself move. Couldn't do anything except sit there amidst the rubbish, clutching Jack frantically against his chest.
"Jack... Jack, please. JackJackJackJackJack... JACK!"
Moaning, Ianto buried his face into Jack's hair. He was only aware that he'd started rocking back and forth when he tipped a little too far back and felt a rock dig into his ass. Ianto leaned back a bit, taking several deep breaths to try and calm himself. There was a lot that needed to be done; not the least of which was getting the Weevil contained before it regained consciousness.
Then there was Jack.
Jack was gone.
Ianto was startled and nearly dropped the body in his arms when Jack released a sudden, loud gasp. He could only stare in amazement as Jack lay struggling in his arms, gasping for breath. Before his eyes, the ragged tear on Jack's neck—the one that had killed him—began to heal. Flesh knit and bruises faded in a matter of seconds and when Ianto looked at Jack's face once again, his lover's eyes were fluttering open.
"J-Jack...?"
Jack coughed, turning his face into Ianto's shoulder. "Yan."
Even though he had millions of questions, Ianto pushed them momentarily aside, choosing instead to focus on getting them back to the Hub. There was no denying what he'd seen. Jack had been dead. And then he wasn't. Ianto wasn't going to allow Jack to brush aside that bit of information like he did so many other things.
"Stay here," Ianto instructed, dragging Jack the short distance to a nearby wall. "I'm going to put the Weevil in the back of the SUV then I'm going to come back for you."
Jack grunted an affirmative, his head lolling forward weakly.
"I'll be as quick as I can," Ianto promised, tilting Jack's head back so that he could press a tender kiss against his lips.
It seemed to take forever for him to drag the Weevil to the SUV and get it secured in one of the back cages. As soon as he was sure that it wouldn't get out, he sprinted back to where he'd left Jack. He could smell the coming rain in the air, and wanted to get Jack back to the Hub before it started falling.
When he reached the end of the first section of the alley, he spotted Jack struggling off the ground. Ianto sped up a bit, catching Jack under his arms and hoisting him up the rest of the way. Jack was panting by the time he got standing, leaning heavily against Ianto.
"Don't call Owen," Jack gasped against his shoulder.
"Jack?"
The other man shook his head, turning just enough so that Ianto could see his eyes. Blue eyes that were pleading with him.
"Don't call Owen."
Ianto squeezed his eyes shut tight and cursed under his breath. In the end, though, he nodded his head. There had to be a reason Jack didn't want to bring their medic in on what had happened. A reason why Jack had been dead one moment and alive the next.
By the time they reached the Hub, Jack was much more alert. He got out of the SUV under his own power and even volunteered to help Ianto with the Weevil. Ianto brushed him off, insisting that he could handle it on his own.
"I'm gonna go grab a shower then," Jack grunted, lightly squeezing Ianto's shoulder before disappearing towards the locker room.
When Ianto finished with the Weevil, there was still no sign of the Jack. Not in the main area of the Hub, the small kitchenette, his office, or in his rooms. Tossing his jacket over the back of Tosh's chair, Ianto headed towards the shower room. It was the only other place he could think of where Jack might be.
"Jack?" Ianto called as he entered the locker room. He could vaguely hear one of the showers running from deeper in the room and followed the sound of it, stripping out of his clothes along the way. They were a mess anyway; muck from the alleyway and Jack's blood. So much blood. And, yet, there Jack was. Standing in one of the shower stalls as though nothing had happened. He was leaning forward, hands pressed flat against the back wall, head bowed under the steady barrage of water.
Grabbing a bar of soap from the recessed ledge within the shower stall, Ianto stopped up behind Jack and began running it over the smooth planes of his back. He didn't say anything. If there was one thing he'd learned about Jack, it was that he'd only speak when he wanted to and not before. And no matter how many times he'd warm Gwen about the same thing, she'd blunder in without thinking, demanding answers that Jack wasn't necessarily ready to give.
"I can't die."
The words were spoken so quietly that Ianto wasn't entirely sure that he'd heard them.
"A long time ago, I was in a battle. An impossible battle that I knew I wouldn't be walking away from. I died... but then I woke up. I don't know how or why, but every time I die, I somehow come back. It's happened again and again. I don't know how it happens or how many times it'll happen, but... I'm so old, Yan. So tired."
Ianto remained silent, his hands methodically moving over Jack's body, removing any sign of that night's activities. He listened intently, though, taking in all of the information Jack was willing to share. There was so little any of them knew about Jack; just the stories the Captain chose to share with them when they were all sitting around. The things Jack was telling him then, Ianto wouldn't have believed him if it weren't for the absolute desolation in his voice. Being abandoned by his friends, the people he loved, two hundred thousand years in the future, was something Ianto had never conceived of. Something he could not conceive of.
When at last the words had run out, Ianto pressed a kiss to nape of Jack's neck and carefully turned him around. Jack moved as though he were a pantomime marionette, allowing Ianto to direct him at will. Being efficient, but still tender, Ianto got Jack rinsed, dried, and into a clean pair of clothes. He then left Jack on the sofa near Tosh's workstation and hurried up to Jack's office to get the bottle of scotch he kept secreted there. Even if Jack didn't want a drink, he definitely needed one.
"You're taking this very calmly," Jack observed as Ianto returned to the main floor.
Ianto merely shrugged, taking a swig of scotch straight from the bottle before handing it to Jack. "I worked at Torchwood One, if you remember. I saw those monsters that came through the Void and destroyed everything. You travelling that far into the future isn't beyond my realm of believability."
"And me not being able to die?"
"I'll admit, that will take some getting used to," Ianto said after a few moment's hesitation. If he was honest with himself, it freaked him out more than a little bit. One moment Jack had been dead, the next alive. It was frightening and impossible and the proof of it was sitting right next to him.
He snatched the scotch back from Jack, taking another deep drink. "When you die... Does it hurt?"
Jack chuckled, the sound of it somewhat broken. "That depends on the death. Ones of these days I'm going to let you fuck me to death. Go with a smile on my face."
"That's not funny."
Jack made an unintelligible sound that could have been either an agreement or disagreement. Gallows humour, his father would have called it. His father had always been particularly fond of it as Ianto recalled. At the moment, it was making Ianto's skin crawl, the idea of Jack dying repeatedly a terrifying reality.
"Sorry," Jack murmured, reaching over to stroke Ianto's cheek with the back of his fingers. "There are some things you just get used to after such a long time."
Ianto gave the scotch a brief shake. "That's why this was invented. It does wonders to help you forget things."
"And what do you want forgetting?"
There were hundreds, if not thousands, of things that Ianto could do without remembering. Torchwood was responsible for a vast number of those memories, but his life before it had been filled with things that he could do with forgetting. Better to stick with what was most recent.
"You. Lying in the alley. Your throat ripped out. That's a memory I could definitely do without."
Jack frowned at that and reached to take the bottle of scotch from him. Rather than taking a drink, he set it down carefully on the ground.
"What would have happened if you hadn't—woken up, is the best term I can think of—so quickly? What if Owen had been in the middle of your autopsy when you came back? Don't you think one of us should have known? Hell, don't you think all of us should have known? You're our leader. We're supposed to trust you with our lives and you can't even trust us with such a fundamental part of yourself."
The words came tumbling out before Ianto had a chance to check them. He didn't want to get into a debate with Jack. What he really wanted was to take Jack back to his apartment and spent the rest of the night convincing himself that Jack was really alive. He also wanted answers.
"You would have been told eventually," Jack said after several long moments. "I just... I liked that no one knew. For over a hundred years, I'd been Torchwood's pet. If something dangerous came up, I was the one they sent in to take care of it because they knew I couldn't die. The things that I have seen, the situations I've been in, the number of times I've died... I just wanted a break. So I chose not to tell the rest of you."
Ianto nodded silently, digesting Jack's words. Having worked for Yvonne Hartman, he knew just how ruthless Torchwood could be. "If it's alien, it's ours," had been their motto and Ianto can't even begin to imagine what she would have done if she'd gotten her hands on Jack. Or, perhaps she had at some point. However, Torchwood Three was nothing like Torchwood One.
"Will you tell them now?"
Jack snorted, the lines around his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "And have Owen shoot me every time he's having a bad day?"
"Point taken."
Sighing deeply, Jack's smile faded. "Gwen knows."
"Gwen?"
"She saw me come back, same as you did." Even though his lips stayed neutral, there was a frown evident between his eyes. "Well, not quite. She was there was Suzie shot herself. After shooting me in the forehead at point blank range."
Ianto found himself at a loss for words, not sure how to respond to such a revelation. Part of him was furious with Jack for keeping the rest of them in the dark while Gwen knew the truth. It certainly made bits of conversations he'd overheard make more sense in hindsight. Seeing the effects his immortality had on Jack, though, Ianto found he couldn't stay angry with him. Jack may have been sitting in front of him, completely all right, but only an hour ago he'd died a truly painful death. The fact that Jack had brushed off the question only confirmed his suspicions. It wasn't a matter of not dying, it was staying dead. Jack had actually died in the alley. The Weevil had attacked him, ripped his throat out, and killed him. The fact that Jack was currently sitting on the sofa talking to him didn't make the death any less real. Any less painful.
A sudden realization dawned on Ianto and he found it difficult to breathe. Half-heard conversations suddenly made a great deal of sense. Lisa. At some point during that horrible night, Lisa had killed Jack. Electrocuted him twice if what Owen had said was correct. His eyes flew to Jack's equal parts shocked and amazed when he saw understanding there.
"She killed you."
"Ianto—"
"You died because of something I did. And you still saved me."
Jack smiled softly, his fingers lightly skimming through the short hairs at t nape of Ianto's neck. "I wasn't about to give up your coffee."
"Jack—"
"No more," Jack interrupted him. "This night has lasted long enough already and it's tuned out nothing like I'd hoped. Guess we're gonna have to grab dinner another time."
A few weeks later comes Billis Manger and Abaddon and Ianto feared that Jack's luck had run out. Three days and still Jack showed no signs of waking. It took both him and Owen and some sedatives to get Gwen out of the morgue. Desperate as he was for Jack to wake up, he just couldn't figure out how it would be possible. Even though Jack had insisted that the rest of them stay away, Ianto had followed in his own car. He'd been too far away to hear what Jack had shouted at the demon, but he'd heard Jack's scream when the shadow turned upon him. It had gone on for more than a minute when it took only seconds to kill others. The sound of Jack's screams would be etched in his memory for the rest of his days.
"I'm sorry," Ianto whispered, leaning over to brush his lips against Jack's. Squeezing his eyes shut tight against the threatening tears, he touched his forehead to Jack's.
"Not your fault."
Ianto would have thought he imagined the words if it weren't for the puff of warm air he felt against his skin as Jack spoke. Jack still had the pallor of a corpse, but Ianto couldn't stop smiling when he looked at him. He was crying as well when Jack smiled at him.
Ianto knew that he should have let the others know immediately that Jack had woken up, but he wanted the Captain to himself for a little while. He supported Jack with an arm around his waist as they made their way to the locker room and gently rid him of the morgue-issue hospital gown, his fingers rarely leaving bare skin. Jack undressed him in turn, the jeans and t-shirt he'd been wearing the last three days puddling on the floor alongside his trainers.
"I was beginning to think that you weren't going to come back," Ianto murmured as he lightly ran the bar of soap over Jack's torso. "That the last thing we'd done as a team was mutiny against our captain then let him go off to his death alone."
Jack pushed Ianto's wet bangs off his forehead, ducking down to meet the other man's eyes. "You were scared. I understand that. The world was falling apart and even the best are allowed to give into that fear occasionally. Just wasn't expecting you all to do it at the same time."
"We should have trusted you."
The heat from the shower had erased any remaining coolness from Jack's skin so when Jack kissed him, all Ianto could feel was heat. That wonderful, glorious heat that always seemed to seep out of Jack. The soap fell forgotten from Ianto's fingers as he spread his hand out over Jack's broad back. The fingers of his other hand wound themselves in Jack's hair, holding his lover as close as possible. He clung tightly to Jack, glad for the shower because it hid his tears. Aside from a brief lapse that led to him burying his face in Jack's greatcoat, Ianto's had been doing his utmost to remain in control of his emotions.
"I think that we could both do with a holiday," Jack mumbled against Ianto's cheek. "Let the others deal with the Hub and the two of us disappear for a few days. A week even. I'd run away with you for a month if I thought we could get away with it."
An hour later, Jack's gone amidst a strange grinding noise that Ianto's heard only once before. Both times that he's heard that sound, Ianto's world had crashed down around him. The Battle of Carnary Wharf and now the disappearance of his lover. He survived the first and all Ianto can do is survive the second.
Something that became infinitely easier when he received a text a few hours later.
"Found my doctor. Be back as soon as I can. Start making plans for that holiday. xx Jack."