This is the latest song given to me by Jameson Rook. "Permanent" by David Cook.
Disclaimer: I only borrow these characters and use them as my puppets.
Permanent
He promised that he would always be there for her; that he would be strong. He didn't want her to see him falter in his emotions. The moment that the bullet struck her, that promise he made to her crumbled. It felt as if the bullet had ripped through his heart instead of hers. It was a moment frozen in time that was imprinted in his memory for eternity.
As she fell to the grass, he could only cradle her close to his chest to soften the impact. He could turn back time and quicken his reflexes in order to take the bullet for her. She would personally kill him if he ever did that; but he would if he could.
"Kate. Stay with me, Kate." The words were more of a comfort to himself as he attempted to stem the bleeding from her sternum. "Kate. I love you, Kate." She drifed out of consciousness and he wished that she could repeat the words back to him, or at the very least hit him for saying something so ridiculous at a dramatic moment. If this were a stage production, his mother would be proud of him.
He wasn't going to leave her; he was never going to leave her. They would have to pry his fingers from her lifeless body if the worst came. He prayed that it didn't.
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today
There he sat, Richard Edgar Castle, at the bedside of his muse, his inspiration, his lifegiver; her pale, clammy hands clasped in his own. Even though he had taken a moment to put himself back together before entering her room almost three days ago, he still could feel her blood on his hands.
He was there and he wasn't going to leave. Josh may be her boyfriend but he was her partner; that bond was stronger and more intimate than anything else. Josh may have saved her life on the operating table, but he had saved her sanity.
Her father sat on the opposite side of her bed, stroking her palm and whispering soft prayers. He had already lost one woman too early; he didn't want to lose another one.
"I'm sorry," Rick said softly to them both quietly. "I couldn't keep you safe."
"But you did, Rick. You did." Jim's reply was just as soft. "You have kept her safer than I ever could. Don't you ever question that," he said firmly and Rick just nodded his head in agreement.
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent
It was a long road to recovery for Kate. She had her ups and her downs; there were more down days. Rick was there for her each step of the way. He was there to hold her hand when her rehabilitation became too hard. He was there to hold her close when she broke down in tears; tears for herself, tears for her mother and tears for Roy Montgomery. He was there to be her sounding board when she needed to talk at someone without any judgement. He was there as a punching bag when it all became too much and she needed to hit something. He was there to make her laugh when no one else could. He was there. Day after day, week after week, month after month.
Kate knew it was taking a toll on him and she felt gulity for monopolising all his time. She wished that there was some way to take his burden away from him. She couldn't begin to imagine what it was all like for him. She tried to imagine if it was him that was shot; she couldn't fathom going through it all. She didn't think she would be strong enough. But, alas, he was strong enough and he was bringing her out of the darkness.
"Why Rick? Why do you keep doing all of this? I'm horrible to you; I can hardly stand being in my company. Why do you choose to?" she asked.
He shrugged, "Why wouldn't I? You're my partner, Kate. Partners are forever." He smiled a little, "And besides, I'm pretty sure you'd do the same for me."
Kate nodded, "Thanks."
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent
They say to always bulid a relationship on trust and friendship; without those things you're destined to fail. Rick didn't want to fail with Kate. He had made a promise to always be there for her and no matter how hard she tried to push him away if things got too hard, he wouldn't leave.
He felt his heart stop the moment the bullet pierced her soft body. He knew that he had to pick up the pieces of them both that shattered that day in order to for them to survive.
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry
Well I hope you liked that. It's a little more angsty than I usually write, but it was the only thing that I thought fit with that song. If it so moves you, please review. I love knowing what you all think. I've also finished uni for the semester and I will have plenty of time up my sleeve to write more during my holidays. Work also finishes for the term on Friday...hooray! I'm looking forward to the sleep-ins that I am going to have.
Sam